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Be productive! 💫

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If you believe it will work, you’ll see opportunities. If you don’t, you’ll see obstacles.

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Mother, Where Are You?

It seems I never learnt to cope well feelings brushed under a rug

I never got to have closure as you lay in the grave they had dug

I used to tell myself often you've simply got no internet

That lie never saved me I still cried and hurt and wept

You were far away when you passed even farther away now

Wish I could check up on you get visions while my head's down

I'm half the woman I was meant to be still learning the ropes

Although you've wounded me deeply I still thank you for giving me hope

You've mothered me lovingly, done your best I'll accept it eventually; life's only a test

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The First Summer Back

Perhaps we've all just grown older, time waits for no one after all / Sitting here I can't help but wonder how different it is since last fall / It has only been a couple days, barely a week has passed / still, the questions resonate valiantly, "will these friendships really last"?

The stillness of the night consumes me, "who should I put the blame on"? / Have I really failed as a friend, or has it just been too long? / Growing apart is a common occurrence, no unknown phenomenon / Perhaps it's not the connection, but a version of it that is long gone / I've weaved a web so complicated, maybe I've got it all wrong / A bad night does not negate that following it is a new dawn / Newer parts of ourselves will come around, and they will learn how to bond / Hell, this new normal might be something of which we will be more fond

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Mini Essay #1: Science as a way of coping.

Growing up I had learnt to be insecure about many a thing; this was the result of my mother's cruelties as well as my classmates' and peers' insensitivities. However, my mother paid me compliments too, though not ones that built my esteem up, but an expectation, a standard. "You're so pretty because you're very skinny", "Ay I wish I was young and skinny like you, now I'm old and fat", and worst of all "You don't really mean it; how can Mama be beautiful if she's fat?"

These comments spiralled into my subconscious and became my instinctual way of thinking. I'd judge others' lower abdominal protrusion and fear the day I'd hit puberty, for I knew my body would undergo changes, and god forbid I end up having that pooch myself.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it made living easier for me. I was always drawn to biology, and through it, I fell in love with the human body, from the network of nerves that enable me to think and feel to the immune system that protects me. I learnt about the functions of fat and its roles in our body, and why we must have some of it through our diet. It did not settle well with me at first to know that women are supposed to have a bit of fat to protect their inner organs. "That's not meant to be there".

But it is. Despite my disapproval, it was meant to be there. I had trouble accepting it because it went against something that I was taught to be right. I focused less on it and moved on to other systems and organs within the body- the brain most notably, and I learnt that as kids, we are akin to blank canvases, and the way we think and operate is the result of our environment.

It was through learning the concepts of unlearning and relearning that the fact that having a pooch is no sin or flaw was more easily accepted by me. Nowadays, it no longer bothers me, and neither do many of my inherent bodily features. This is all thanks to science and unlearning.

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dark academia but STEM

- pinning the most difficult equations you solved to your wall. Or just the ones you find beautiful

- lots of plants, their names written in the pots. Trying different ways to grow them.

- always having lab gloves in your bag or pockets.

- writing ideas for projects in messy notes, putting them between the pages of your notebooks and forgetting about it

- hands dirty with black ink because you’ve been writing for too long too fast

- massive books under your arms, laptop full of carefully tagged papers while the printed ones are a total mess

- insane eyes and absolute euphoria when you finally understand not only the concept, but where did it came from and how it applies on your daily life

- hair always in a bun or ponytails, short finger nails and none jewelry because ~lab rules~

- searching until late at night the exact equipment the scientists used long ago, what methods they used and imagining how would it be to be in their place.

- Feeling as comfortable in the lab as in the library.

- you hate Victor Frankenstein but legit understand why.

- sore eyes from microscope or screen light, aching backs, still not wanting to leave

- looking at people and thinking about how they truly are: organs, cells, molecules, atoms, protons, eletrons, quarks, leptons…. nothing as one would think,  everything, all the same, too big, too little, all pieces from a big puzzle

- dreaming about the topic you were studying last day

- having an idea about a paper while talking to your friends. Remembering that is not your field and going crazy because SOMEONE needs to research it.

- you are crazy to read some fiction but there are too many papers waiting for you 

- You should be used by now but sometimes still get distracted about how graphics changes according to compartments added.

- finishing a big problem and just staring at it, amazed by how it was unfolded and reorganized until you get to the final answer 

- “we don’t know….yet”

- ethics committee?? How about just test it myself, uh?(that new receipt that later comes out a absolute disaster)

- suddenly knowing how to solve a problem in the middle of a lunch

- notebooks margins filled with equations or formulas vs pages almost blank, with just one note or two

- mental breakdowns after classes thay change your perspective completely

- knowing that the truth depends on how further you can see. We’re always getting closer. Never there.

- Looking at an art piece, wondering what kind of ink was used, how it was when it was made, how time has affected it

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do you have any suggestions for arabic learning material that is mainly audio based? i find i learn better that way. i've done one program called Language Transfer that was great but there were only 38 lessons :(

Hello anon!

I would like to link you to this great Arabic app master list made by @wonderful-language-sounds and to this Arabic language master post  made by @boddirook . They both have interesting Arabic learning sites and apps and I think they can be helpful.

In addition to these master lists, I prepared a list Arabic Audio books and the books that are being read. 

I. Children stories

The magical lemons [book/ audio book]

The sleeping beauty [book/ audio book]

King Adel [book/ audio book]

The magical mirror [book/ audio book]

The marvelous lighter [book/ audio book]

The girl and the lion [book/ audio book]

In the Island of light [book/ audio book]

II. International stories (translated into Arabic)

Great Expectations- Charles Dickens [ audio]

Oliver twist- Charles Dickens [book / audio]

A tale of two cities - Charles Dickens [audio]

A doll’s house- Henrik Ibsen [audio]

The country of the blind -  H. G. Wells

[audio part 1/ audio part 2/ audio part 3]

III. Arabic books

A Thousand and one nights (playlist) [audio]

Al-sawad yaleeq bik (Black suits you)- by Ahlam Mstaghanmi [book/ audio book]

Men in the sun- Ghassan Kanafani [book / audio]

“Man of the impossible” series by Dr. Nabeel Faruq [books/ audio files]

Soft hands by Ihsan Abdul Quddoos [book/ audio file]

The Prophet by Khalil Jibran [book/ audio book]

The Tortured of Modern Conscience  - Taha Hussein [book/ audio]

Don’t be sad - Aed Al Qarni (Islamic book) [book/ audio file]

IV.Other sources for Arabic audio books :

- Al Kitab al masmou’ website [link]

-Book stream website [link]

-Ask booky : a wide range of Arabic audio books [link]

-Arabic audio books : can purchase audio books online [link]

-Aluka network : has Arabic grammar books, and Islamic references [link]

I hope this answered your question. If you need any help looking for a specific book or audio book please let me know!

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[Urgent] Hello. As far as I know there is a standard Arabic version of WALL-E (you can watch it on this YouTube channel Movies f12 but it's not complete) so I was wondering if you could find it complete on the web (I tried but couldn't find it) and share a link. Thanks.

Hello!

I was able to find the movie dubbed into Arabic here. Just choose the 5th server (5سيرفر) and it plays nicely ^^

I noticed that the movie isn't purely MSA but they mix in some Egyptian dialect.

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How I went from a C to an A* in A-Level Chemistry | Part 1

Part 1: tips + what I did + resources

These tips are for A-Level chemistry but can be used for any other course as well! A-Levels are generally considered tougher than AP exams, but in my experience are much easier than Indian boards such as CBSE, for example.

Before I get into the tips and what I actually did to improve, I would like to give a little bit of context about my situation, and why it might have been easy for me to pull my grade up so drastically. You can skip to the tips directly if you want! I’ve broken this down into three segments:

tips + what I did

resources

special tips for AS Practical (part 2!)

Some Context

I gave the CAIE examinations. I took the staged A-Level route, where you give your AS Levels papers and A Levels in separate, consecutive years. I received a C on my official transcript for AS-Level, to be precise. I changed my school right after AS-Level (11th grade) was complete, partly because of the grade I got (basically I didn’t trust my school enough haha). This gave me the opportunity to retake my exams – not sure if this is the equivalent of resitting the exam, as I had a special situation – as long as I would completely forgo my previous grade. So if I gave the exam again and got a grade even worse than the one I got in AS-Level, I couldn’t go back to the original grade. But this gave me a chance to start over completely.

I decided to give my exam in the February-March 2021 series (which is an India-only series), which fortunately didn’t get cancelled as it was before the second wave here in India, meaning there were no predictions and grade assignments based on coursework/school year performance (phew). Also, I have reason to believe the grade thresholds were lower in this series, as the board may have considered the effect of the pandemic, though the improvement is still significant. The switch to online school also meant that I saved commuting time, but that may have been cancelled out by the fact that I get tired by looking at screens for a long time, and that I spent an ungodly amount of time on Pinterest during my classes.

Tips + what I did

I don’t mean to be rude and ungrateful, but my teacher wasn’t exactly the best. So all these things only rely on you and not the teacher!

One thing I knew I did not do was put in enough effort into my studying, mostly because I was the best in my class even if I didn’t perform that well – I thought that’s just how good you can be in Chemistry. When I changed schools, my “best” was the average and there was this one guy who was just exceptionally smart, and that motivated me. So I decided to put in more effort and not give in to being lazy or saying “this is enough” for 3 hours of studying a day (not a competition, but I did around 6-8 hours for IGCSE, and that paid off really well).

Paid attention to my weakest points. For me, this was organic chemistry. I tend to be the person who goes on solving problems only on concepts which I know really well, which is obviously a problem since I couldn’t improve. I started making more notes, revising my notes, rewriting my notes in different formats (charts, mind maps, summaries, etc.) and really practiced my weakest points. This is especially useful if you, like me, have trouble remembering things with no logical backing, which is pretty much all of organic chemistry.

Practiced, practiced, and practiced even more. This helped me consolidate my weak areas and all the theory-heavy concepts (again, organic chemistry and parts of inorganic chemistry) and also realize what the most important topics/concepts were. Past papers (site linked below) were my must-have study technique. In almost every exam series, there was one question about the thermal stability and/or solubility of group 2 compounds – and after so many corrections I memorised it. This is a handy tool, as you know where to focus and which are the important questions; you don't need exact topic-wise content percentages to know what's important, in my opinion.

Corrected past papers not too long after I did them. This was immensely helpful, as I remembered my thought process while answering questions, as I could pinpoint exactly where I went wrong, and what part of my working I needed to change. For inorganic chemistry it wasn’t very helpful, but it was game-changing in organic and physical chemistry. Also, I added really detailed corrections, including points I missed (even though I had enough points to score full in that question), and some vocabulary corrections (key words matter!).

Used Multiple sources if I didn’t understand a concept. I didn’t rely on them too heavily, mostly only to consolidate concepts. Again, these will be linked in below.

Made a “corrections journal”. Basically, I wrote down all the things that I didn’t know, hadn’t come across before, or found important in this journal. This was especially helpful for MCQs, as writing helps me consolidate information, and in last-minute revising,

Picked up on + researched how to answer the questions. Remember how I mentioned vocabulary corrections? These, along with certain phrases that I found were common, I wrote down (or just remembered, this was natural). I also looked up sample papers and saw exactly where marks were awarded, in addition to knowing the mark scheme (which only comes with practice).

Did not repeat papers. Now, everyone is different, but I never repeat papers until I get a perfect score (I never got a perfect score). There is effect called the mere exposure effect which states that we prefer/perform better when we have already been exposed to something, even though we don’t consciously remember it. So my second attempt, even if it will be better, will not be a true representation of how I perform.

Resources

OpenStax Chemistry 2e for some physical and inorganic chemistry (especially coordination compounds/transition elements), though this book doesn’t have organic chemistry.

For my fellow Hindi-speakers, Physics Wallah and Vedantu NEET made EJEE are two of the best channels out there, especially if you understand better by learning the mechanism

This past papers site (better than PapaCambridge as there’s no funny little ribbon at the top right corner, especially for the later papers)

Khan Academy, the MCAT section has some good lectures on biomolecules

NCERT Chemistry for some Physical Chemistry questions

Hodder Chemistry and Cambridge Chemistry textbooks (these were the basics; I had to have both of them because I changed schools and I’m an analogue person) – the Cambridge one had a pdf for my syllabus, though I’m sure that there’s newer versions’ pdfs too, just look them up according to your syllabus/prescribed textbook

Be on the lookout for part 2, where I talk about tips for the AS Practical paper! This was my downfall, so I learned a lot.

Main: @nerdartsy

Photo by Orlova Maria on Unsplash

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escapes for when you feel anxious

exploring a flowery town with cute villagers

drinking a milkshake in an empty diner at 3am

real life that feels dreamlike

cute sunflower field dates

in love with the universe

softest love songs

living inside an 80s tv show

drinking tea on a cozy raining morning

you’re an angsty teen in a coming-of-age film

summer road trip in the west coast

vacation in san francisco

living in an old French film

stargazing and contemplating the meaning of life

late night drives in a 90’s movie

watching a beautiful sunset over the beach with someone you love

feeling dazed and drifting off under dreamlike sunlight

going to the beach in a camper van in 1960′s california

collecting whimsical music-boxes and taking pictures of clouds in paris

falling asleep on the moon

city lights at midnight

half dreaming,half awake in faded 60s sunlight

remembering someone else’s memories like they’re your own

being the guardian of a snowy forest who befriends wolves and takes care of baby fawns

being in a vintage fairytale

wandering the avenues of vintage New York City

living in a cinematic landscape and watching over a magnificent scenery

exploring an art museum

eating fruit in a small italian seaside town

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Your trauma is still valid if you were paralyzed. It is not up to you to defend yourself. It is up for people not to abuse others. You did nothing wrong, they did.

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When you just can’t love yourself, just work on giving yourself basic respect.

When you just can’t practice self care, aim for basic hygiene and keeping yourself alive.

When you just can’t have positive thoughts, focus on ignoring the negative ones.

When you just can’t quit those bad habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms, be sure to take care of yourself afterwards.

When you just can’t make yourself eat enough, aim for something three times a day, even if it’s something small.

When you just can’t stop binge eating, just do your best to forgive yourself and focus on something else instead of dwelling on it for any longer.

Not everyone is at a point where they can recover, and so thinking about recovery can be intimidating and make them shut down, because they just feel like they’re nowhere close to getting better so they might as well not bother. There needs to be more advice on dragging yourself through the days. Self care to the bare minimum. Aiming for “feeling okay with yourself” or “feeling less awful about yourself” rather than loving yourself. Baby steps.

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“Even the tallest trees are able to grow from tiny seeds like these. Remember this, and try not to rush time.”

— Paulo Coelho, The Spy

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“You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.”

— Maxwell Maltz

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Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up

Are you hydrated?  If not, have a glass of water.

Have you eaten in the past three hours?  If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs.  Perhaps some nuts or hummus?

Have you showered in the past day?  If not, take a shower right now.

If daytime: are you dressed?  If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas.  Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?  Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed.  If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.

Have you stretched your legs in the past day?  If not, do so right now.  If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please.  If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?  Do so, whether online or in person.  Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?  If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?  If not, do so.  Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets.  Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.

Do you feel ineffective?  Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip.  Good job!

Do you feel unattractive?  Take a goddamn selfie.  Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?  Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day.  If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable.  Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.

Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?  If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.

Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?  That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.

Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?  That may be screwing with your head.  Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.

Have you waited a week?  Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause.  It happens.  Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.

You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through.  You are stronger than you think.

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Hi Lumen, first off I apologize if this type of question has already been answered or if I am long-winded. How exactly does one go about changing and improving their life when starting from zero? I have had depression and ADHD since I was a kid and it (and, of course, myself) has kept me behind in life. Now that my symptoms are being treated…I’m unsure of how to go forward. I don’t really have any hobbies, skills, or goals. My apartment is a mess, I spend a lot of time on social media, and I have no structure in my day. I do want to change my life and level up if you will, but a lot of tips I see online are for people who already have a general structure or foundation in their life. I was hoping for some tips for those of us with none. How do you go about developing a routine, skills, hobbies, etc from zero? Thank you. 🤍

Hi darling,

First off, let me say how brave you are for being honest with yourself and making the conscious choice to turn things around!

I was in your shoes 2-3 years ago, before I started my glow up journey, so I can completely relate to the feeling of being lost, finding my life a chaos... and the only certainty I had was that I was absolutely determined to create a better life for myself.

For this reason, I curated a masterlist below for all the posts, articles and guides I've written either on tumblr or on my blog. My advice is right now start with tidying up your home, because a clean, organized home will inspire a clean, organized mental & emotional landscape. It starts there.

Then it's time for reading and research! You should focus on leveling up your mindset, for it will always be your foundation for everything else.

I've ordered each list in chronological order for one's glow up process, building in complexity and experience; and also highlighted the ones that will be most useful for someone starting from zero.

Mindset:

My 30-day mindset glow up challenge (tag)

How to develop a growth mindset

11 Keys to a successful mindset

Traits of successful entrepreneurs and CEOs

Prioritize your mental health in your 9-to-5 job with these strategies

Why you keep failing your yearly goals (and how to fix it)

Why you should stop associating productivity with self worth

Truths that have changed my life

Glowing up:

How to get (and keep) Your Life Together 101

Tips to get started on your journey of self development

Things I wish I knew at 21 (a letter to my past self)

What I wish I knew before starting my glow up journey

The healing power of morning rituals

How to be happy (you deserve the gift of happiness)

How to cultivate inner peace: daily practices

How to be a high value woman

Cheatcodes that will elevate your life

Selflove / Selfcare:

Things that encourage self-love in your journey of healing

The stages of living authentically

The art of being your authentic self

What happens when you embody your authentic self...

A manifesto of selflove

What happens when you practice self love daily...

Ways we self-sabotage & how to stop It

My journey of healing: how selflove & selfcare changed my life

It’s time for you to heal: a guided meditation

Essential selfcare habits for entrepreneurs

Finances:

5 secrets to stay on top of your finances

Tips for smart shopping

Fashion:

How to be classy

My guide for classy nails

Tips to always look polished

Relationships:

Toxic vs. healing relationships

Things every woman should know about love

How to get over a break up: a guide for healing

Why the “ride or die” mentality Is self-sabotage

8 dating commandments of the high value woman

Red flags of low value men (LVM)

Green flags of the high value man (HVM)

High value: misconceptions, what it is and what it's not

High value dating: do’s and don’ts

5 things stopping you from high-value dating & how to overcome them

How to know you’ve found the one

As someone who had to learn these things the hard way, I hope sharing my experiences and advice proves as useful to others as it was for me. 💞✨

You can bookmark this list and go over it at your own pace, by your own rules. The point is to just start. Much luck darling! 🥂

-Lumen