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[idwell-inpossibility]

"But Alex, it's like... we met, and I grew another limb. And... like she's a part of my body. And now, she doesn't wanna be with me."

[idwell-inpossibility]

To you

It gets so hard to pretend everything’s alright. Today I rejected a boy - I told him I have a boyfriend and that I don’t want to go to the park where he would be, even though it’s a lie, two actually. You are a girl, and you aren’t mine anymore… You started treating me like I had intentions of being with someone else. I would never do that to you, you were everything I wanted. How could you even think I would be able to do such a horrible thing to the person I cared most about? I’m always thinking about your smile and imagining the moment we were supposed to sleep together again. But you just gave up, didn’t you? I wasn’t worth enough for you to fight for me. When you love something, you need to fight for it. Otherwise, who will? It hurts so much to remember all those messages you sent me telling me you loved me and that you would never ever give up on what we had because it would last forever. I miss the times when you used to send my mom messages asking about how I was and asking her to make me talk to you again when I was mad at you. After all, I miss you like hell and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore. I can’t feel any good feelings, like those you used to make me feel. I wish you could find out how important I really am to you, if that’s the case. How could everything end up so easily? No fighting, just accepting. I’m feeling like I’m high because I cannot cry right now. I feel like 5 months had passed since we broke up and you just didn’t want to know if I was dead or not. Why is everything so complicated to deal with? At this moment, you could be right here like you were supposed to be. Holding my body tight and never let me go again.

I’m just so tired of everything, you didn’t have enough courage to face your mom and tell her how much you loved me. I bet you don’t regret that you didn’t do that. You let me slip through your fingers like sand, just because you didn’t want to face your problems for someone you said you loved. Love involves struggle and dedication and you stopped giving it. Sometimes I want to die to know what you would feel, knowing that I had died at the same time as our relationship. A day have passed since I sent you my last message. I’m pretty sure you don’t miss me, not even a little bit. I hope you find truly happiness soon, I apologise for all the bad things I did to you and I thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I will never forget who you were. Please don’t you ever think again that I didn’t want you to be born. You were the most amazing human being but you chose to change…