idreamofdango

[idreamofdango]

🙄 and here i thought you paid attention to those documentaries. nothing gets the blood pumping like a stroll though pure peril. but if it's snakes you want... snakes you will get 😈

🔥♦️ Flame of Diamonds !

🔥♦️ - you love hauling that giant club around like it’s your baby, huh? let’s see how scary you are without your toy.

your challenge: weapon hoarders curse

i’ve rigged the 44th training ground (forest of death) with glitter bombs, rubber snakes, and enough smoke to choke an ostrich. you, mr. arsenal, stripped down to the most pathetic blade in the village. a butter knife. no extra gear. no Izumo saving your butt. if you clear the gauntlet, i’ll admit your arsenal isn’t overcompensation. lose, and you forge me a snake-shaped kunai... yes, it has to hiss when you throw it.

look, i stacked the deck against you, no lie. but if anyone can turn a butter knife into a war crime, it’s you. don’t make me regret giving you the fun challenge!

mitarashi mayhem

[idreamofdango]

🔥♦️ Flame of Diamonds !

🔥♦️ - you love hauling that giant club around like it’s your baby, huh? let’s see how scary you are without your toy.

your challenge: weapon hoarders curse

i’ve rigged the 44th training ground (forest of death) with glitter bombs, rubber snakes, and enough smoke to choke an ostrich. you, mr. arsenal, stripped down to the most pathetic blade in the village. a butter knife. no extra gear. no Izumo saving your butt. if you clear the gauntlet, i’ll admit your arsenal isn’t overcompensation. lose, and you forge me a snake-shaped kunai... yes, it has to hiss when you throw it.

look, i stacked the deck against you, no lie. but if anyone can turn a butter knife into a war crime, it’s you. don’t make me regret giving you the fun challenge!

mitarashi mayhem

[idreamofdango]

🔥♦️ Flame of Diamonds

🔥♦️ - you’re the hokage, the legendary sucker, and the strongest medic on the planet. so here’s a trial worth your time...

your challenge: high stakes

pick your poison: cards, dice, or slots. one round. no chakra, no tricks, no intimidation, no threats... just raw luck. win, and i'll call you untouchable for life. lose, and I get a night out on your tab… plus the right to brag that I beat the godaime at her own game.

win = untouchable. lose = treat me to a night out. don’t worry, i’ll keep the bill smaller than your gambling tab ;)

mitarashi mayhem

[idreamofdango]

I don’t trust this.

… smoke of spades

@whotookmysenbon

💨♠️ - for our knowledgeable toxin enthusiast who never misses a beat, i crafted this one especially for you ;)

your challenge: the poison tasters delight

five cups of tea. four harmless, one mildly paralytic. identify all correctly or drool on yourself all night. here's the catch... you will be doing this in a pit of venomous snakes. careful not to get bit!

bonus points if you manage to bite me while inoxicated

mitarashi mayhem

[idreamofdango]

🍡♠️ Dango of Spades

🍡♠️ - you claim to be the fastest shinobi alive... prove it!

your challenge: snake run

you have ten minutes to deliver a case of dango (yes, MY dango) across the village without using flying raijin. here’s the twist — the box will be guarded by three snakes who really don’t like being jostled. if they’re upset when it arrives, double the dango.

no teleporting, no shortcuts. if the snakes bail before you finish, so does your dignity. dango’s on you, yellow flash :)

mitarashi mayhem

[idreamofdango]

🌑♣️ Shadow of Clubs

🌑♣️ - for the calm and composed tactical genius always thinking several steps ahead. let's tease your intellect and strategic mindset, shall we?

your challenge: mastermind in motion

plan a mission for a team of chaotic jōnin without writing a single word. only gestures, diagrams, and props allowed. if the mission descends into chaos anyway… you owe me dango. bonus points if Gai actually follows your instructions.

c’mon, genius, let’s see if that big brain of yours can herd this circus. don’t disappoint… dango tastes better when it’s earned.

mitarashi mayhem

[idreamofdango]

MITARASHI MAYHEM

I challenge YOU to a test of wits and will. Prove your skill, survive my chaos, and claim eternal bragging rights… or face a lifetime of dango debt.

Rules are simple:

• Pick a card. Do it. No whining.

• Complete the challenge.

• Survive your pride.

• Failure means you owe me dango... lots of it.

Cards:

🐍♠️ Snake of Spades

🔥❤️ Fire of Hearts

🌑♣️ Shadow of Clubs

⚡♦️ Lightning of Diamonds

🍡♠️ Dango of Spades

🦷❤️ Fang of Hearts

💨♣️ Smoke of Clubs

🔥♦️ Flame of Diamonds

🃏 Wild Card = Anko's Snake Spin

NOTE: Complaints can be filed directly to my trash can. “I’m too busy” is code for “I’m a coward.” Refusal earns you lifetime snake duty.

Signed, sealed, and chaotically delivered,

🍡 Anko Mitarashi

To recieve a challenge, pick a card from above and send it to my muse. Anyone can play! If you specify your muse, your challenge may be more fitting to that specific character. Pull as many cards as you like. You can respond to the challenge or not, totally up to you... however, Anko will bite :)

🏷️ no pressure: @beautifulbluebeast @scarecrow-in-a-hatake @selenophilephile @morino-ibiki @haganekotetsu @izumokamizuki @senjutsunade @valtiels-darkness @minaa-munch @the-pug-and-pig @scalpelsandcaltrops @whotookmysenbon @shikaku-the-nara @designatedadult

[idreamofdango]

why do villages keep their strongest shinobi in an office?

[idreamofdango]

20 ryo and i'll tell you who did it

...why has my apartment been ransacked of its bowls?

[idreamofdango]

eh? what happened to sharing, miss strawberry swindler ?!? i shall save my sake reserve for @valtiels-darkness

If you don't want that to keep happening, STOP STEALING MY SNACKS!

@idreamofdango

[idreamofdango]

... never forget the ceiling ninjas ...

[idreamofdango]

rkgk | パクン [pixiv] 

Posted with permission. All the credit goes to wonderful artist/author, not me. Thus, please do not edit/repost this article without permission.

[idreamofdango]

Are you a plants, space, ocean, or dinosaurs gay? Or secret fifth option?

Favorite silly stereotype about your identity?

haha, i would say i'm more of a plant and space gay, but i appreciate ocean and dinosaurs too. and the secret 5th option, well it's a secret for a reason isn't it?

favorite silly stereotype is the finger guns & peace signs, or that we can't sit normally in a chair (guilty of the latter). also, i do, in fact, wear sexy lingerie under my oversized hoodie.

[idreamofdango]

How do you identify?

2. When did you first come out? Who was it to? How did it go (if you feel comfortable sharing)?

1. pansexual greyromantic

2. i would joke with Rin about how i might maybe want to kiss her only because it would be sooo funny hahaha, right? she giggled... i giggled... and we kissed. we talked about it and she made me feel comfortable and safe. i later told Kurenai and Asuma, who said they always knew.

[idreamofdango]

Happy Pride! Here are some LGBTQIA+ asks!

No NSFW/invasive questions!

How do you identify?

When did you first come out? Who was it to? How did it go (if you feel comfortable sharing)?

Pronouns?

Do you have a partner/queer platonic partner? If yes, what's your favorite thing about them? And if no, share your favorite thing about yourself!

Favorite queer song?

Favorite queer artist/art piece?

Favorite queer pairing in media?

Favorite queer book/author?

Aside from your own flag(s), which of the flags is your favorite aesthetically?

Name something you really admire about other identities in the queer community (i.e., if you're bi, say something about the ace community, etc)

Do you have any queer role models? If so, tell us something about them!

Frogs?

Favorite urban myth/legend (i.e. Bigfoot, Nessie, Mothman, etc)(yes this is a gay question)

Have you been to your local city's pride parade?

Favorite drag queen/king?

Have you ever done drag? How did it go?

Do you have any queer tattoos? If so, share!

Are you a plants, space, ocean, or dinosaurs gay? Or secret fifth option?

Favorite silly stereotype about your identity?

Older queers, what's one piece of advice you can give to younger queers? And younger queers, what's one question/concern you have that you'd like older queers to answer?

Happy Pride everyone! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜

[idreamofdango]

can't argue with that

And my dick so hard it make the metal detector go off

[idreamofdango]

pretty sure that's not how it works ... but what would i know?

And my dick so hard it make the metal detector go off