idonthaveanypseudo

[idonthaveanypseudo]

Hey yall I moved account

Intro because I love doing these (tw €d!!)

((bl0ck don’t r€p0rt!!))

Y’all can call me Billie or Bill. I’m 17yo and also non-binary (any pronouns but more comfortable with they/them). My first language is french so forgive my potential mistake! I’m trying my best! Im not new to ana tumblr, I was @idonthaveanypseudo and I was pretty active in summer and late 2021/early 2022 and now I’m baaack. I moved from my old blog because I was scared my friends would find about it one day. Also I might change the whole theme of my page a lot because I’m indecisive. I will not share my weight for now because I’m actually HUGE (like more than 70kg/150lbs) buuut just like I was doing back in 2021 I’ll share what I eat in a day and the number of calories I ingested and burned! My longest fast was 63 hours and I’m pretty proud of this!!

I’m NOT pro ed/pro ana.

Yes, I am starving myself voluntarily, yes I don't want to stop, but if someone asks me how to lose weight I would NEVER tell them not to eat, to count calories, to weigh themselves every day... And people who encourage people to develop an eating disorders are disgusting. If I do this blog it's just for me and myself and not to encourage anyone to develop an ed.

DNI LIST :

– basics, don’t be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, pro war and all the other things that suck

– If you’re currently in recovery/trying to recover, please PLEASE don’t look at my page

– If you’re over 23…. specially if you’re a MAN EW GET OUT

– If you’re a proshipper…. don’t care if it’s about a fandom im not in yall are sick

Other than that I don’t really care!! Ask to be moot :p

Other!! :

Fandoms :

Undertale (+AUs)

Deltarune

Red dead redemption 2

Call of duty (mw 2019, mw2 2022, mw3 2023 SUCKS!!)

Pokemon (pretty much any games but specially pkm Violet)

A bit into Sally Face

My Candy love (im a Castiel girl)

The last of us (part 1 and 2)

Zelda botw/totk

Omori

Fav artists :

Mac DeMarco

Mitski

Kendrick Lamar

Tyler, The Creator

Lana Del Rey

Alex G

Ayesha Erotica

Bibi Babydoll

Sir-Mix-A-Lot

Odetari

Penelope Scott

Damso

Orelsan

Probably other that I forgot about

I am not into celebrities drama don’t idk if these artists did shitty thing and I honestly don’t care so don’t grab my coat

Anyways that it ❀

16/05/24 - 20h33

[idonthaveanypseudo]

my toxic trait is thinking that all the bad things happen because I'm fat

[idonthaveanypseudo]

edblr really got me thinking 800 cals a day is a lot

[idonthaveanypseudo]

why is my goal literally looking like a hoe to get some validation from men. I’m so pathetic

[idonthaveanypseudo]

If you lived with abusive parents, it meant that the rules changed for you any moment. You could have been praised for something most of the time, then suddenly one day it brings a punishment instead. You could have been allowed to do certain things until one day you got tortured for doing it, and afterwards you couldn’t even know if it was alright to ever do it again. Some things were only allowed when parents were in forgiving mood, sometimes things you absolutely had to do, you knew you’d be punished if anyone saw you doing it, or if they found out. 

You never knew what the consequences would be. You could be wildly overpunished for something as simple as failing to close a door, saying the wrong word, having a certain face expression. You would get blamed and punished for things you didn’t do. You would get punished for someone’s bad mood. You would get punished for existing next to someone who was angry and wanted a punching bag. 

There was no consistency in your life, you had to live tiptoeing and hoping you would somehow do the right thing and avoid torture, the rules would change and twist and turn against you no matter what you would do, you developed a sixth sense to figure out when someone was irritated or upset, and you would still end up hurt and abused. 

And you got told this is normal, this is just how life is, everyone has it like this. You don’t doubt it or see it as abuse, it’s just your every day, you can’t imagine living a life where you’re safe, where you don’t have to expect thousand horrible things to happen if you make a tiny mistake that you initially had no idea would even be a mistake.

Now think about that and tell me where your anxiety came from. What living like this continually would do to a person. Because once you lived like this, this mindset doesn’t go away, it’s what you’ve learned to live with, what you’ve been forced to live with if you didn’t want to be in pain every second of your life. How would you not panic and over analyze your every word? How would you not try to predict just what kind of horror could come from most mundane and common action? How would you not at least try to brace yourself for the next torture someone might have ready for you? Your senses are not wrong, they’re trained to do this, they’re experienced in trying to help you survive life in abuse. 

[idonthaveanypseudo]

my relationship with food is somehow worse than my relationship with my father

[idonthaveanypseudo]

if you guys miss chicken ramen, i just made this for lunch and it was only 75cal

ingredients:

-shiritaki noodles: 10cal

-1/2 bullion cube: 15cal

-1/4cup corn: 25cal

prep:

-your shiritaki noodles should come in a bag full of water, open the bag, drain, and rinse them

-after theyre rinsed put them in a frying pan on high

-stir until they turn a slightly white color

-add your vegetable of choice(mine was corn)

-add a 1/4th cup of water

-add your chicken bouillon

-stir until it looks done

-put in a bowl

-serve :)

(i added hot sauce to mine)

[idonthaveanypseudo]

reblog to reblog from the person you reblogged from

[idonthaveanypseudo]

today is not my birthday

[idonthaveanypseudo]

i think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way really it’s so cute

[idonthaveanypseudo]

[idonthaveanypseudo]

splitting things in half to reduce their calories isn’t just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle

[idonthaveanypseudo]

you know it’s getting bad when u feel guilty for eating to stop urself from fainting

[idonthaveanypseudo]

19/01/2022 - 09h09

C’est son anniversaire

[idonthaveanypseudo]

Les personnages fictifs que je kin et pourquoi :)

(encore une fois y’a pas d’ordre précis)

1 : Ink!Sans (Undertale AUs)

- J’suis hypocrite

- Je sais pas qui je suis

- Je sais pas gérer mes émotions

- J’essaie tout le temps de me rendre utile par peur d’être oublier ou remplacer

2 : Nightmare!Sans (Undertale AUs)

- J’ai été harceler durant l’enfance

- J’essaie de faire croire que je suis insensible

- En vrai j’suis gentil et je m’inquiète pour les autre

- J’me suis fait une carapace pour pas être trop blesser à cause de se qu’il m’est arriver

- I’m depressed lmao

- Ptn j’aime bien le kin il est badass

3 : Paperjam (fils de Error!Sans et Ink!Sans)

- Mes parents sont séparés

- Mes parents se détestent

- En gros j’ai les mêmes problèmes avec mes parents que lui mdrr

4 : Crescent (fils de Nightmare!Sans et Killer!Sans)

- Daddy issues.

5 : Lancer (Deltarune)

- Undiagnosed ADHD

- Undiagnosed autism

- Je suis chaotique

- En vrai j’suis drôle et attachante

6 : Kris (deltarune)

- Aucunes idées que trouve juste qu’on peux facilement s’identifier au personnage (c’est le but mais bref)

6 : Todd (Bojack Horseman)

- J’suis chaotique

- J’suis lgbt+

- Je squatte chez les gens

7 : Shoto Todoroki (MHA)

- J’suis le « quiet kid »

- J’comprends les blagues soit 10 ans après soit jamais

- Daddy issues

- Je m’impose pas quand j’connais pas les personnes autour de moi

- frr j’ai pas d’amis

- Je préfère observer et écouter plutôt que parler

- C’est carrément mon plus gros kin en fait (je l’aime même pas à la base)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

09/01/2022 - 04h13

Mes kin sont beaucoup dans les AUs d’Undertale mais en même temps c’est mon seul centre d’intérêt mdrr. En vrai je kin sûrement d’autres personnages mais j’ai juste oublier. J’crois je ferais des updates de temps en temps et je reposerais pour prévenir mdrr.

Bref faites vous un avis sur moi maintenant

[idonthaveanypseudo]

08/01/2022 - 20h20

Comment je gère mes émotions :

- Je pleure ❌

- J’explique à quelqu’un ce qui va pas et pourquoi ça va pas ❌

- Je mange jusqu’à en avoir mal au ventre parce que je trouve du réconfort dans le goût de la nourriture ✅

(Et après ça je m’affame pendant plusieurs jours parce que je regrette d’avoir manger autant)

[idonthaveanypseudo]

05/01/2022 - 20h44

J’ai réussi à faire 3 choses sur ma listes des 4 choses à faire dans ma journée aujourd’hui et c’est peu mais j’suis un peu fière

Me lever avant 14h (au final j’me suis lever à 10h) ✅

Me laver et laver mes cheveux ✅

Vider et remplir le lave vaisselle ✅

Nettoyer la cage de mon lapin ❌☹️

Désoler Marco je ferais ta cage demain :)