idiotcat-affectionate - Tumblr blog

[idiotcat-affectionate]

squeezing you like a blåhaj btw

[idiotcat-affectionate]

This is the AoE you see around customers when working retail

[idiotcat-affectionate]

waiter! more problematic bi transbian please!!

[idiotcat-affectionate]

sorry for not posting much! they only let me out twice a month

[idiotcat-affectionate]

Been having some not great mental health days lately, and that has meant a lot of lying around doing not much. In an effort to be a little dramatic (and therefore funny) I described myself as "languishing" to my bf.

This immediately made my brain go, "But, you're still alive, so you clearly have at least 5 toughness." And that has actually been really reassuring.

I have at least 5 toughness as I do not die to Languish.

[idiotcat-affectionate]

I can't be autistic bc I'm actually great at understanding social cues!

[Cut to my POV, a Terminator-style overlay analyzing word choice and body language while over everyone's head a bar labeled Are They Mad At Me shows varying levels]

[idiotcat-affectionate]

Heyyy

Have you ever donated blood?

Yes, multiple times, won't go again

Yes, multiple times, will go again

Yes, once, will go again

Yes, once, won't go again

No, I want to and I'm going to

No, I want to but I'm scared to

No, never, I don't want to

See results/ vampire / other

Do it please, if it's at all possible for you. It's so very important - H :)

[idiotcat-affectionate]

ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

[idiotcat-affectionate]

[idiotcat-affectionate]

Sprigatito

[idiotcat-affectionate]

You're going on a date with a beautiful transgender woman. You stay up all night reading internet memes about trans women in hopes of getting an edge in. You go over and say "wow cute skirt, I bet you make it go spinny all the time." She looks at you indifferently, like she doesn't know what you're talking about. "Oh, you mean like that meme for teenagers on reddit? I mean I'm 32 so I'm kind of normal about wearing skirts. I mean I get the excitement when you're like 15." A cold streak presses down your forehead. It's not over yet. You stumble out a line about Fallout New Vegas. She says that she never really got into that one. Crisis mode. You touch her hand and she reflexively recoils but then tries to play it off. You order drinks and conversation moves along: she tries to tell you about a novel she's reading. This isn't part of the script. You try to connect the plot of the novel to a niche fetish that you heard trans people on the internet like. The vicissitudes of discomfort play out across her face. She gets a phone call. Apparently her mom is in the hospital. What luck.

[idiotcat-affectionate]

File under: even more blatant proof cis people can joke about trans people without it being at their expense

[idiotcat-affectionate]

it's always "old man yaoi" this and "old man yaoi" that. where the fuck is my old woman yuri you misogynists

[idiotcat-affectionate]

[idiotcat-affectionate]

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

[idiotcat-affectionate]

‘You should only send hearts to ppl you’re romantically involved with’

WRONG! BOUNDLESS PLATONIC LOVE, WARMTH, AND ENTHUSIASM BE UPON YE!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️