ididntchoosethebeardlife

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

the house md promo pic of house in a wedding dress with the sloppiest smeared makeup look. Literally what was the point of that

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

The human mind is incredible. Some of you are capable of seeing the Beatles as sexual beings

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

honestly even the highest concept sci-fi seems tame once you learn BioSteel™ Goats exist irl

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

iive been so obsessed with this video for days

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

hey boy don't kill yourself. green's dictionary of slang is available online and allows you to explore 500 years of english vulgarity. you can search by part of speech, source, time period, etymology, and usage. there's a whole category for gay slang. they even have specific citations listed so you can see the exact context for yourself. boy did you know that in 1927 "to kneel at the altar" was slang for "to sodomize"

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

Candy Darling, November 24, 1944 – March 21, 1974.

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

mickey 17 is for the people who hate capitalism and also clicked YES on the ‘would u fuck ur clone’ poll

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

Cory Booker has been talking in the senate for over 20 hours now

He’s not filibustering. He’s protesting the current administration.

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

Update from the man himself

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

Work vacuum died. This is the fifth one since I started working here five years ago.

The first one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The second one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The third one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The fourth one died for unknown reasons that involved my coworker vacuuming up rocks.

The fifth one died a few minutes ago and it was a big mystery and my coworker was like “oh I don’t know what happened it just overtaxed for some reason” so I looked inside the hose and—get this—it was jammed with rocks.

He keeps buying bigger and more expensive vacuums and complaining about how shitty and faulty the last ones were and every time I suggest something like “what if you didn’t vacuum up rocks” he’s like oh no it is the vacuums who are wrong.

[ididntchoosethebeardlife]

april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true