idcmila - Tumblr blog

[idcmila]

Saddest part is that my neighbors would probably enjoy the stripper. I mean, who knows what freaky shit they are into? I can tell you I hear enough of it. I sure as hell don't plan on asking my grandma for any ones.

That’s true. I could see how that would be potentially problematic. It’d be a bit funny, not gonna lie, but if they would like it I guess that would decrease the fun of it a bit. I do have to wonder who’s going to pay him though.

[idcmila]

Seriously? You'd do it? You've literately made my life dream come true.

Actually no I have not seen it but that sounds sweet. Next time it rains lets do it.

[idcmila]

What the fuck? Are you serious?

I will be dammed if I don’t punch the next asshole who tries to grope me while in a Starbucks line. Where do you perverts think you’re at? Some sort of touch-pick-up-your-over-priced-coffee-and-go? 

[idcmila]

Have you ever seen that movie on Disney where there kids start a fake camp and convince all their parent's it's like, educational? It rains one day and they are bored as fuck so what do they do? They make a rain Olympics. I dream of doing this.

The weather is so bipolar. It’s great right now but it could start raining any second and I hate it.

[idcmila]

Man, you are seriously missing out. Xbox is what it's all about.

"So I was up in my room minding my own business playing GTA V, right? Anyways, I was charging my controller at the same time and like six, seven cop cars were after me and I kind of got caught up in the moment, I guess. Long story short, my Playstation is now in three pieces and my dad is being a dick refusing to buy me a new one. So uh, can I borrow yours until I get this month’s salary from the comics store? I promise I’ll give it back.."

[idcmila]

It's always the one you least expect, MJ. If there's one thing I've learned by staying up until 4am watching marathons of Criminal Minds and CSI, you don't trust anybody.

I can assure you it wasn’t me because I don’t even know where to get a male stripper nor do I have the money for one.

[idcmila]

Nope, It's not even my birthday. Who even sends a stripper at 12 in the afternoon? What stripper even works at 12 in the afternoon?

Is it your birthday or something? That’s such a random thing to send someone.

[idcmila]

You know, I really would except for the fact my sixty year old neighbours still having an active and healthy sex life. But my tolerance levels are becoming increasing low as they get increasingly louder- I don't need anymore problems with them. Although, that revenge does sound sweet.

You should’ve pulled a fast one and told him he needed to go to one of your neighbors, now that would’ve been funny- ish.

[idcmila]

So, I’m not sure which one of you sent the lovely male stripper for me today, but you didn’t exactly have the best timing. Normally, I would be thanking you, but considering the fact that I opened the door and let in a half naked policeman while my grandparents were in the room, I’m going to have to go with a solid no. You will pay—literally, someone has to pay him, and it’s not going to be me.

[idcmila]

[idcmila]

[idcmila]

♫ TRACK 002. bad intentions // niykee heaton

"you say you love the way the storms blow but when it comes you close your window, you hate the fighting in the world so you bring the battle home and fight until it's yours, right until I'm gone."

[idcmila]

♫ TRACK 001. thotty // chance the rapper

"shawty she got the body, she did the molly, probably gon' do the squaddy right after pappi. sloppy, she extra choppy, just did the party. I love that bitch. the perfect thottie, the perfect thottie"