iceboundolive

[iceboundolive]

this thread on twitter is fucking killing me

[iceboundolive]

I knew poinsettias "faked" having big flowers by just turning some leaves red but I didn't know the real tiny flowers in the middle looked like such idiots

[iceboundolive]

who else did this

[iceboundolive]

life tip: sometimes there's a bird outside & you can look at it

[iceboundolive]

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

[iceboundolive]

[iceboundolive]

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

[iceboundolive]

[iceboundolive]

every time i see someone call kirk and spock the oldest ship, i'm filled with the urge to go "hmm actually the holmes and watson girlies have been here for a hundred years now", and i refrain because i know the natural conclusion of this game is gilgamesh and enkidu

[iceboundolive]

the noble decomposer

[iceboundolive]

the original guy i reblogged this from was a shithead so reuploading it

[iceboundolive]

Hmmmm

PROFESSOR SYCAMORE DID YOU FUCK MY MOM

[iceboundolive]

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"

[iceboundolive]

*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*

[iceboundolive]

i'm the girl who makes up all the fake folk etymologies. it's fun and easy for me. nobody pays me, i just do it for the love of the game.

[iceboundolive]