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I firmly believe that "scary" is not a requisite of horror and people who think a horror film is bad just because they, personally, were not scared don't understand the genre. 👏

Nosferatu (2024) Film Review

Yesterday I was telling my intelligent lady friend to go watch the movie Nosferatu. She responded that she had not seen it yet and still needed to but also that, "a friend of Nick's (her SO) told me that it wasn't that scary," which struck me as a childish thing for anyone to say. I then said to her that even though I don't know Nick's friend that she should probably not listen to him because that sounds like a childish thing to say. She seemed to realize then that Nick's friend's review was unreliable because she proceeded to end to her comment with, "then again, this is coming from a chicken-nuggets-and-french-fries kinda guy." Just as I suspected. This movie is not for the faint of heart nuggets and fries man child in your life.

TL;DR - Nosferatu (2024) is a film for the intelligent lady in your life.

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Nosferatu has something for everyone. Eye candy for the girlies who just like to watch sexy people. Great costume and set design for the historical girlies. If you're a monsterfucker this is for you. Angst lovers your time is now. If you simply enjoy Robert Eggers then prepare for this to be your favorite work from him. If you like your horror gross and disturbing and perverted then this is for you. Tragic romance girlies come get your juice. Gothic and dark romance girlies come get your juice.

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Bravo also to Robert Eggers for probably the least bad depiction of Transylvania in Western vampire cinematic history:

1. Having actual Romanian actors doing the dialogue in Romanian. You'd think this is a low bar to clear but nope.

2. High quality costume design that looks pretty accurate to 19th century Romanian and Roma peasantry, even down to specific braided hairstyles from the Transylvanian region.

3. Depiction of Roma people but refrains from having them as some typical Hollywood exoticizing role like a magical fortune teller etc. They're in like half a scene, just chilling and playing music in front of an inn.

4. Use of the word "strigoi" which are actual spirits in Romanian folklore, unlike the term "vampire" which didn't exist in Romania.

5. Sorry to the Nosferatu moustache haters, but a Romanian nobleman would have had that exact facial hair.

6. Depiction of religion (nuns, churches) that actually looks like Eastern Orthodoxy and not some vaguely spooky goth Christianity.

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I am genuinely so happy they dropped the "elves en masse becoming part of Solas' army" plot line because genuinely what would that have added besides the opportunity to be racist to fantasy indigenous people again. These writers do not have the tools to handle such a plot line in a respectful way. What would even be the message in that?

With how the world has changed in the past 10 years, I actually appreciate that the antagonists for Veilguard are a supremacists cult, a plague, and a group of people who realized that they were failed by the people in power and reacted violently because it's all they know and all they were taught being taken advantage of by people who just want power.

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they need to invent a discord you can cuddle through

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Merry 2000 Trained Rats, everybody

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I’m building her something

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polyam worm on a string!!

Holy fucking shit dudes. I love her. (Picrew)

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Emmrich: What's for dinner?

Taash: Updog.

Manfred: [dabs]

Taash: No, not yet, wait until he asks what it is.

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nothing beats the intimacy of being silly together

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this callout couldve been a block button

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Spotted at a pizza joint in Luigi Mangione’s hometown.

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Damn

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We need to get Taash a cape

(Also, I love that style rule lol)

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I love the idea of a roomba topography map being the jumping on point for a liminal horror story. House of Leaves II: Roomba.

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