iamtanushree

[iamtanushree]

Whose #MeToo? What October looked like was an endless series of social media anxiety, triggers and jitters running all over one’s body.

[iamtanushree]

We Are All Mental! It was a salty pull of air in a December evening, I was heavy headedly sitting at the Queen’s necklace, Mumbai, Maharashtra only 22 years of age.

[iamtanushree]

A Letter

Oh! Dear Superior Being, This letter is subjected to the self-legitimized superior gender sitting on the top bench of the hierarchy in the society. No, I don’t hate you. That would be strong enough for me or the likes of me not to have any hope in the likes of you. I have just a few questions and things to tell you. A plea: Don’t call yourself a feminist just because you read a lot and have a lot…

[iamtanushree]

An Ode to the औरतs (Women) in my life

An Ode to the औरतs (Women) in my life

As I write this, I am sitting on a porch of an extremely huge Old Portuguese cottage in Goa, it’s massive and it’s spooky. But trust me I have the most beautiful company, a woman who is dozing off inside preparing herself to make me break into a riot of laughter the moment she wakes up! This old ass has been saving me from all the craziness that I experience here, two amazingly massive dogs…

[iamtanushree]

The Two Little Chirpy Birds

The Two Little Chirpy Birds

It was a dark blue canvas with stardust and shooting stars all over. Heads tilted up. Draped in a thin shawl on the cool white marble bench. The sky had just cleared after the evening rain. Britannia Marie and a warm cup of tea. It’s dark then you know. You don’t feel guilty of being happy or sad. You are your own skin good or bad. When I see a shooting star my hands behave in a reflex they claw…

[iamtanushree]

My Body Their Touch

My Body Their Touch

  When did I lose my virginity? “ So I met this guy on a dating app. I was not sure about how it goes, the concept of blind dating was extremely scary for me. But then most of my friends were trying it. I did not want to lag behind when they shared stories of how beautiful their date was set up or that the man did not show up. He invited me at his place he stayed nearby my PG (a form of…

[iamtanushree]

That Little House

Took the morning HRTC roadway Bus, a packet of plum cake and a carton of juice. I took the window seat, the monsoon had shown some much needed mercy on Delhi last year. The highway painted neat blue, black and green, the air was of course breezy hence I did not mind giving up on a fancy Volvo Bus. By the time I reached Shimla I had already started puking with nausea and before it could get worse…

[iamtanushree]

NORMAL!! She never died. She weaved into life; holds the mic and gives a “mayoos meena“ smile. You would know she is behind you preparing herself to shock you, but alas she fails.

[iamtanushree]

Pastel Complexities

[iamtanushree]

Samvidhan Live- The Jagrik Project

We protest.We are part of movements and morchas. We talk about feminism. We talk about rights. We speak up against discrimination. We talk about inclusion. We voice out opinions. We talk about equal rights. We talk about women empowerment.We stand against women hostel curfews. We feel upset when we are denied our rights. We discuss. We dissent. We talk about education. We talk about equality. We talk about inclusion. We talk about LGBT. We talk about poverty. We talk a lot.. But what supports our liberty to exercise the Freedom of Speech? Won’t it be better if we knew in depth?

What do we understand of the Constitution?

“ummmm….”

How many rights do we exercise under the constitution?

“umm  5”

“No 6”

“I think its 4”

And fundamental duties?

?#%$&@^ s.. ummm…. %$&!

Well there are prolonged ummms and aaas. It’s not that we have not studied about the constitution in School. But then it was all about cramming the paragraphs and vomit it out on the examination sheet, because learning then is all about scoring and passing with flying colors. Get a ‘Student-Scholar’ badge and make your parents proud.

We loose on the practical learning behind the rat-race of scoring the maximum marks. And the most important learnings are left to judgements in the measure of numbers and grades.

What is the significance of the Constitution of India to the citizens?

“It’s extremely vital as it is ‘written’ and hence is testimony of the rights and duties of every member of the nation.”

“It gives us fundamental rights and there are some duties with it also.”

Some say.

Don’t you yearn the books were your USB which you could just put over your head and transfer all that you “should” know about the constitution n’ ol. It’s an arduous job to pull out books, make notes to feed the brain and smart into an aware citizen. And then, for some stimulation you shall have to go to the market, buy some fancy/cute/ flowery/ comic-y cover sketch books so that you remain inspired by the characteristics of the stationery. Well that’s a lot of money, time and all of this planning shall lead the idea into a trash!

Won’t it be much better if you could polish your brains not just for the heck of it but rather by performing tasks which would not require xyz for you to keep yourself motivated?

That’s where the Samvidhan Live Game - The Jagrik Project kicks in. ‘Jagrik’= Janta (people) + Nagrik (citizen). The game is Of the people, By the people, For the people as the constitution sentences it.

And it’s not like the sit-on-your-seats, take-out-your-books, pay-attention, pin-drop-silence-in-the-classroom, listen-to-your-teacher, nobody-speaks-when-the-teacher-speaks sort of an environment. It’s about NOT doing any of that, it’s about being loud, being inclusive, make noise and bring people and talk, share and learn. Because after all life is a classroom (well not the stereotypical teacher-student sorts) and it should not be stodgy. You have to just take one thing seriously, and that’s ‘FUN’! Because it’s a serious business.

We have certain values we find common in each other, so what are the values our preamble is made of? How does it reflect with our lives? How do we find the answers to our questions?

With over 500 Jagriks around the country engaged through various organizations, have come together for this unusual game and addressing their quest. It is not a lecture hall series rather it encourages space beyond the usual family, leisure, work, institution i.e. the 5th space! We conventionally conform ourselves to behave according to the situation we are in. We are unable to find ‘who I am’ in the process of addressing “who We are” and lose out on an understanding of ourselves.  

The 5th space takes you to an inside- outside learning journey, so no judgements at all. Taking a step from Me 2 We, starting with the immediate spaces we usually find ourselves in and sharing experience, knowledge and learning with our peers. Also co- creating spaces where the volunteers can identify their behavior and the consequences of their action. The game is focused on deepening the refl- action abilities and to articulate the volunteer’s understanding of the constitution by co-creating a space where they learn to their best abilities.

It is all about executing the framework of the constitution on an individual level by observing spaces, real life incidents, behaviors around us and by executing our rights and duties which we often violate or do not exercise since we are oblivious to them.

Want to know more? Open the link below, and take an unusual journey!

https://www.facebook.com/YouthCollective/

[iamtanushree]

Breath Weds Death “Her mother hanged herself. It’s been more than a year now; I believe Tumpa must have learnt how to walk by then. She left little Tumpa and Raju with me.” I arrived in Gabberia (a village in West Bengal) after 13 years. Hence, I was not sure about my relation with the woman who was telling me all of this. I was trying to understand my family tree, until the little girl holding my hand smiled gleefully, solved the puzzle saying, “Aamar notun maashi dilli thike!!” (My new aunt from Delhi!!) I learnt that the old woman is my aunt and the woman she was describing me about was my cousin sister and Tumpa is my niece. I did not talk much about the incident to her, I was trying to be careful about sympathising the issue and wary about hurting her sentiments furthermore by posing as an inquisitor. Before I could understand the depth of the catastrophe, Tumpa breezed off the tension and asked me if she could accompany me for a walk. I was her doll for that evening and she wanted to show me off to the neighbours around the village. I didn’t mind. It seemed like she had not been visiting her neighborhood for long, since everyone we greeted made pity sounds and cursed her mother for leaving her children on fate. “She fought with her husband. Her in-laws abused her for not bringing enough jewellery after marriage. They cursed her parents for saving much of it to marry off their youngest daughter. Her husband would beat her when drunk. Shyam the boy who stays next door claimed that he talked to her on the day she hanged herself. He said she was sitting idle in the verandah, and asked her whether she was attending Arnab babu’s shraadh (death ceremony). She refused explaining she had to look after the house, but she seemed fine. Then in the evening no one saw her for a very long time and it was abnormal to take a nap that late. They soon found out that she hanged herself. Whatever it is, she should not have done that. She should have thought about her kids. Raju is grown up but what about Tumpa? She is completely devoid of motherhood at such a young age” told my Great aunt. “My son-in-law stays with me as well and labours at the construction site. He would not stay with his parents. He cannot anymore after what has happened. My eldest daughter wants to adopt Tumpa,  but I cannot let her take her away. Fate has already separated her from her mother, now I cannot separate her from her father as well. I will manage with my poor economic status but I cannot let this sin befall on me.” Abruptly the conversation met its ‘to be continued.. ‘, Tumpa wailed in hunger, she jumped on her granny’s lap, oscilating back-n-forth tuned into her childhood demands narkeler naadu  (coconut sweets). She stuffed the happiness between her gaped teeth.    

[iamtanushree]

I started repeating the mistakes, I started harming myself, insecurities lurked over I became possessive. I started comparing my past with my present. I do realise its absurdity. I wanted Samay to be within my proximity. I didn’t want to travel for the fear that I may lose him. I started thinking on the same lines of proving myself by running into options of career that I don’t like but that will help me come up with his affluent family standards. I started becoming his mouth, speaking on his behalf, I knew I was losing myself. I started losing my individuality, I felt bad when people bad mouthed about us. In that ‘US’ there was no me but just Samay and ‘US’. Of course I did start affecting him as well. He became the prey of my absurdity. We fought. I lost myself. I let others affect me. I’m bestowed with really nice people around me, who give me the kick in the ass, as and when required and such a situation needed one. I got up. I talked, I told him everything. He was upset of course that I compared him to Arjun, he told me I was a victim of my past, and that he didn’t blame me either. I realise I don’t love him because I have to please the society. He is essential because he helps me grow .I did not acknowledge my individuality that’s because I was blinded by the absoluteness of performing the role of his girlfriend. I love him for so many reasons but he loves me for the unkempt juda (a hair-do) and the way I slurp golgappe ka Pani" *rolls her eyes and smiles*

Part II

#TheOrdinaryWomen #BeyondTheAbsolute #BeyondTheNamePlates

[iamtanushree]

“He left me because I am not a Brahmin. Self-loathing followed for not being born into a Brahmin family. I enjoyed arts but I chose commerce because he asked me to, since he was from the science stream that would give us a better chance at getting married. Irrespective he left and I flunked. Before this I did not realise how important caste and privileges could be. My parents never told me, to fall in love you need to belong to a certain caste. They never warned me, may be they like me never felt it was important. I am dark and the people around me never left a chance to make me realise that. We laugh it off, which is sometimes okay, but then it does trickle down for you to think. Another thing that made me question my confidence. Samay and I know each other since college. My friends told me that he liked me. Initially I didn’t pay a heed. I was not over my ex boyfriend then. But with time we became friends and he asked me out. I had developed some feelings for him but I was not sure. He is a Brahmin too, he too belongs to an affluent rich family, he is fair and I am dark. But love is a beautiful feeling, sometimes rather helpless. He is nowhere like Arjun, my ex-boyfriend. He made me feel beautiful, I felt liberated. He supported me, he pushed me to try out new ventures and most importantly to dream. I was being careful but then I fell completely. Love does not see colour, I believe it’s colourless. It does not see a figure, it reciprocates feelings. My friends mocked that we are a combination of vanilla and chocolate ice cream and that our children would be grey, also that Samay belongs to an upper caste and that I should not nurture dreams of getting married to him and not to encourage proximity. There was obviously so many differences caste, class, colour. It made me insane I made my relationship a ‘goal’, which had to win over the atrocities and succeed. I felt like I was running a personal social campaign against the taboos, I did not want to fall prey to these ill. There are certain measures you have to take care of and fulfil before you finally agree to be with someone, said no one. However these are expected to be tabula rasa." Part I

[iamtanushree]

"I write stories" "Will you write about me?" whilst roasting the corn asked The Khaleesi, Without taking a breath without complaining she sticks to the daily monotony Before the break of the dawn the green farms calls her, beating the sun she wakes up as early as 4:30 Comes back prepares tiffin for her children Washes clothes Takes a shower Visits temple An Asha worker by profession, she must leave home by 8:30 The day has just begun, But alas! She is late hence she must run The clock strikes 12 it's time for her to return home and prepare lunch Oh there is no rest, Mooo.. Mooo.. Mooo... the cows remind her of the 2 o' clock crunch She returns home at 6 makes herself and my pachmata team the sweet savoury chai The day does not end here she's still got some vegetables to fry No, no, no the dinner still doesn't end her day Untill and unless the clean utensils clink, 'Finally you may rest it's okay!' #ICS4change #pravahics #TheOrdinaryWomen