iamsuggestingthatcoconutsmigrate

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shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

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"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity

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with nearly every piece of christmas-related media being about somebody not celebrating christmas who then ends up learning to celebrate it, is it any surprise that people in real life take it so personally when being told that somebody doesn't celebrate it?

so many christmas movie plotlines revolve around someone not wanting to celebrate christmas, and somebody else taking it upon themselves to make that person enjoy christmas at all costs. the plotline resolves by showing that person's actions as being totally justified because just look at how much happier and joyful everyone is now that they know the *magic* of christmas!

like hellooooo the grinch? arguably one of the most recognizable christmas characters of all time? he's all sad and bitter and lonely up in his cave without christmas, he gets bombarded with christmas things all day so he devises his sneaky evil plan to destroy christmas for everyone, but then reforms himself and learns to love christmas just like everyone else, happily ever after.

we are inundated with this message that people who don't like or celebrate christmas are spoilsports and buzzkills and just need to be reformed from their bitter ways. so naturally when people in real life discover someone doesn't want to celebrate christmas, well... it just doesn't occur to them that in reality, it's just a christian holiday that some people don't celebrate. that's all.

(this is something I've been thinking about for a few days and I needed to get it out, so forgive me if this reads as a barely legible stream of consciousness lmao)

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Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

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As a feminist, I have understood male privilege as the system of privileges granted to people in the social class of “man” compared to people of other genders. It’s living in a world where people of your gender category are considered the default, not having to worry about being disadvantaged for your sex and gender identity. Things like being more respected and believed, put in positions of authority, less at risk of many types of violence, dealing less with reproductive justice issues, etc. compared to people of other gender categories.

How exactly would this apply to trans men and transmascs by default? Our gender category is not treated as the norm, and so many of us are still subject to the full weight of misogyny in all or just about all ways it manifests, such as heightened risk for sexual violence, abortion and menstrual product access issues, and being treated as weak, stupid, annoying, and attention-seeking. With transphobia as such a dominant system, we are often barred from the “man” social category even if we want to be part of it. Even when folks do pass as one, being mistaken for a cis man does not mean one suddenly has cis male privilege any more than being mistaken for a straight person means one suddenly has straight privilege. We still have to navigate a world not built for us.

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My latest cartoon for Guardian Books

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Instead of choosing an intensive, unrealistic, or punishing goal this New Year ask yourself: What is one simple thing that would enrich my life this new year? Maybe you can do three paintings this year. Maybe you can buy and care for a potted plant. Maybe you can learn to cook one meal exceptionally well. You don't need to push yourself to the brink. Let's stop committing to punishing goals based on insecurity and start asking what will enrich our lives.

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I’ve got my tumblr inbox turned off so I really have to commend the person who actually emailed me to let me know they don’t like the things I’ve posted about the UnitedHealth CEO being murdered on their commitment to their beliefs.

But seen as how you emailed me from a dud email that appears to be bouncing back replies and I really wanted to address something you said to me about violence begetting violence:

My migraine medication, the medication I was given for my debilitating neurological disease that has gotten so bad I spent most of this year actively suicidal, costs $1300 a month.

My insurance covered it. But only because my doctors office went to fucking war for me because I’m a high anaphylaxis risk for the drugs the insurance wanted me to try.

Because that’s the thing.

My doctors knew, based on my documented medical history, I likely wouldn’t be a good fit for the “first line” of preventative migraine drugs, but because of insurance, I had to be given drugs that were contradictory to my other life threatening conditions, because otherwise insurance wouldn’t cover anything else.

I failed them. Spectacularly and with an anaphylactic reaction to one of them. And I was still warned insurance would fight me because I hadn’t tried the remaining drug they wanted me to try.

A drug which I would have to take in an ER waiting room because my mast cell disease is unpredictable but insurance wouldn’t cover in-patient treatment to let me try it safely under medical supervision.

Is that not violence?

Were all the times I was denied coverage for vital and necessary procedures that could have prevented my disabilities from worsening not violence?

Maybe not in the sense you mean. But I assure you it felt very much like violence to me.

Do I condone murder? No, obviously. But I’m also sick and tired of people pretending that what is happening to the American people every day isn’t eugenics through class warfare.

Violence begets violence.

It sure fucking does.

Maybe these insurance companies should have thought of that first.

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About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

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I'm going to just copy the whole damn thing below so people know that these efforts are happening:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Biden administration officials are working against the clock doling out billions in grants and taking other steps to try to preserve at least some of the outgoing president’s legacy before President-elect Donald Trump takes office in January.

“Let’s make every day count,” President Joe Biden said in an address to the nation last week after Vice President Kamala Harris conceded defeat to Trump in the presidential race.

Trump has pledged to rescind unspent funds in Biden’s landmark climate and health care law and stop clean-energy development projects.

“There’s only one administration at a time,” Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg told reporters at a news conference Thursday. “That’s true now, and it will also be true after January 20th. Our responsibility is to make good use of the funds that Congress has authorized for us and that we’re responsible for assigning and disbursing throughout the last three years.”

But Trump will control more than the purse strings come January. His administration also can propose new regulations to undo some of what the Biden administration did through the rule-making process.

Here are some of the moves the Biden administration is taking now:

Getting infrastructure spending out the door

Biden administration officials hope that projects funded under the $1 trillion infrastructure law and $375 billion climate law will endure beyond Biden’s term and are working to ensure that money from the landmark measures continues to flow.

On Friday, Buttigieg announced over $3.4 billion in grants for projects designed to improve passenger rail service, help U.S. ports, reduce highway deaths and support domestic manufacturing of sustainable transportation materials.

”We are investing in better transportation systems that touch every corner of the country and in the workers who will manufacture materials and build projects,″ he said. “Communities are going to see safer commutes, cleaner air and stronger supply chains that we all count on.″

Speeding up environmental goals

Announcements of major environmental grants and project approvals have sped up in recent months in what White House officials describe as “sprinting to the finish” of Biden’s four-year term.

The Environmental Protection Agency recently set a nationwide deadline for removal of lead pipes and announced nearly $3 billion to help local water systems comply. The agency also announced that oil and gas companies for the first time will have to pay a federal fee if they emit dangerous methane above certain levels.

The Energy Department, meanwhile, announced a $544 million loan to a Michigan company to expand manufacturing of high-quality silicon carbide wafers for electric vehicles. The loan is one of 28 deals totaling $37 billion granted under a clean-energy loan program that was revived and expanded under Biden.

“There is a new urgency to get it all done. We’re seeing explosions of money going out the door,” said Melinda Pierce, legislative director of the Sierra Club. Biden and his allies ”really want to finish the job they started.”

Ukraine aid

Pentagon press secretary Sabrina Singh told reporters this week that Biden wants to “spend down the authority that Congress has allocated and authorized before he leaves office. So we’re going to work very hard to make sure that happens.”

The Biden administration would have to rush $7.1 billion in weapons — $4.3 billion from the 2024 supplemental and $2.8 billion that is still on the books in savings due to the Pentagon recalculating the value of systems sent — from the Pentagon’s stockpiles in order to spend all of those funds obligated before Trump is sworn in.

There’s also another $2.2 billion available to put weapons systems on long-term contracts. However, recent aid packages have been much smaller in size, around $200 million to $300 million each.

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has said the funds are already obligated, which should make them harder to take back because the incoming administration would have to reverse that.

Pressure to quickly confirm judicial picks

Another priority for the White House is getting Senate confirmation of as many federal judges as possible before Trump’s inauguration on Jan. 20.

The Senate this week voted 51-44 to confirm former prosecutor April Perry as a U.S. District Court judge in northern Illinois. More than a dozen pending judicial nominees have advanced out of the Senate Judiciary Committee; eight judicial nominations are awaiting committee votes and six are waiting for committee hearings.

Trump has urged Republicans to oppose efforts to confirm judicial nominees. “No Judges should be approved during this period of time because the Democrats are looking to ram through their Judges as the Republicans fight over Leadership,” he wrote on social media site X on Nov. 10, before congressional Republicans chose their new leaders.

Student loan forgiveness

The Education Department has been hurrying to finalize a new federal rule that would cancel student loans for people who face financial hardship. The proposal — one of Biden’s only student loan plans that hasn’t been halted by federal courts — is in a public comment period scheduled to end Dec. 2.

After that, the department would have a narrow window to finalize the rule and begin carrying it out, a process that usually takes months. Like Biden’s other efforts, it would almost certainly face a legal challenge.

Additionally, the Biden administration has room to speed up student loan cancellation for people who were already promised relief because they were cheated by their colleges, said Aaron Ament, an Education Department official for the Obama administration and president of the National Student Legal Defense Network.

Education Secretary Miguel Cardona could decide that case and others rather than hand them off to the Trump administration, which is expected to be far friendlier to for-profit colleges. “It’s a no-brainer,” Ament said. “There’s a good number of cases that have been sitting on Cardona’s desk. It’s hard to imagine that those would just be left untouched.”

Trump has not yet said what he would do on student loan forgiveness. However, he and Republicans have criticized Biden’s efforts.

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Amber Kim's move to a men's prison for a consensual sexual encounter is a crime against humanity. It's a crime against humanity that our culture tries to render unmournable, but it is nonetheless a heinous crime, and a stain upon the legacy of all the officials who abet or tolerate it.

Even when cisgender women rape other cisgender women in prison, they are not transferred to men's prisons. One does not have to believe that consensual sex in prisons is acceptable to acknowledge that this transfer is a double standard. And yet this is the treatment transgender women can expect, apparently: a brutal double standard of violence, wherein our presence in any space is that of, at best, a conditional visitor. Yet when push comes to shove, we are more impoverished, more violated, and more mistreated by our patriarchal society.

The state of Washington must reverse it's decision. If it cannot be compelled to do so, then Kim's sentence must be commuted - even if we accept that prisons can perform justice, surely we all agree that justice is never forwarded by torture; that a day served of a sentence in the form of torturing a minority is not, in fact, a day closer to any kind of justice.

The use of either solitary confinement or sexual violence against a transgender woman as a means of control is so far beyond the pale that it must be opposed under all circumstances.

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WHAT???? Fuck him

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the SCP vending machine does not get nearly enough love and it’s my absolute favorite

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Everybody stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW and celebrate the last Out of Touch Thursday of 2020

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Last week, it emerged that health insurance leaders pressured the DOJ to bring federal charges against Luigi Mangione. This week, I discovered the top 3 officials at DOJ all collected paychecks from healthcare companies before serving in government: shorturl.at/lgLIU