iamfunke

[iamfunke]

are you ever gonna write something else here?

I’ll answer stuff if it’s not weird. Otherwise, I’m not much for writing out stuff these days (i’ve been using music as an outlet of venting the last few years, so generally all my thoughts funnel into that instead)

[iamfunke]

will you ever do any album reviews on your secondary channel? would you ever do one in a future raditude podcast?

Yeah I think a few will find their way onto the secondary somehow. I usually prefer to just talk about new albums i’ve heard on stream instead, since there’s less pressure to be critical or analytical on it. But I could definitely dive into a few albums on my mind.

[iamfunke]

I see you mentioned before about running into tubers at youtube events. Do you plan on going to any events in the future, and if so, which ones?

Pretty much anything in Atlanta. Dragoncon, Awacon, Momocon, and Dreamhack to be specific.

I regularly attend PAX East too, everything else is a wildcard.

[iamfunke]

Stepping out of your shell

I think it’s a good idea to do something you’re nervous about semi-regularly. I usually make myself go to a nearby show or event once a month (I always go alone because I don’t have local friends). Really, I think it’s healthy to do much more than that (finding dates, hanging with friends out of school, so on) but sometimes they aren’t an option when you can’t find them. But going to places alone is always an option (depending on your area- check the crime rates fellas)

Most recently I just went to a demetri martin show in atlanta, it was a great show. I didn’t want to go because I knew i’d be stuffed into a row of seats and driving in atlanta is also really anxiety inducing. But I already reserved weeks ahead so backing out wasn’t really a choice (not that I would have anyways). During the show (which was unrecorded and just a live one) Demetri made a lot of actions that parallel how I feel whenever I stream. Occasionally he’d stutter on a joke and make fun of himself for messing it up, several times when people first entered the theatre he’d casually greet them and try to find a way to turn it into a bit, and most compelling to me was he would occasionally break the routine to thank the crowd for being so responsive and talk about how without them even good comedians will just outright die on stage. 

Whenever I watch stand-up specials, it was always so intimidating just how flawlessly people could cycle through and memorize their work. But tonight showed me that before that perfect show they did a dozen unrecorded ones where they probably fumbled and changed bits constantly. It taught me a bit about working towards a bigger goal instead of just worrying I can only ever be so much.

Also, I was the only guy in a row of a bunch of really pretty girls my age. I wanted to try and talk to them but I got too nervous and looked away from them the whole show so they wouldn’t think i’m weird. I think it made me look even weirder..

[iamfunke]

WIU2RN: Music

What I’m Up 2 Right Now: Music Edition

Although I haven’t posted on my soundcloud, I’ve been in process of learning Ableton so I can make more fleshed out demos (as opposed to just acoustics). This has been going on for a few months or so now, and i’ve slowly started to amass items without releasing them. Right now i’m sitting on around 7 or 8 full songs I intend on fully demoing (some already are), and because of that I figured I would just continue working on them for an eventual EP release. So if you were curious, yes i’m still very active with my music but just not publicly. As for when to expect its release, It’s still a while away, so I can’t pose a release deadline, but I really want to get it out before the end of the year. I’m just trying to really flesh them out, Since this is my first time ever really pouring this much work into music, which is still a relatively new active hobby for me. 

Also worth noting is anybody that knows of my stuff can expect a few of my first songs to be remade and updated, the rest being stuff I haven’t released yet.  As for what to expect of it when i’m done, right now it’s sort of just an homage to all the music I really like. The bulk will be lo-fi rock, but expect some indie and ukelele/piano centric tracks too.

Now I just want to talk about my experience doing this. It’s been very time intensive, in your head you think you can hit record and knock out a full framework in just a few goes, but it can quickly become consuming to scrap everything and start over. Learning music composition in general has also taken a lot of time, i’ve had to learn how EQ/Compression works, balancing instruments on tracks, all alongside actually learning to play instruments. But I feel like it’s worth it, it’s a really cool way to let off steam. And I want to give a really big thanks to my friend pete (of the band fivefours, whom i’ve used for outros in the past) for teaching me a lot about everything I need to know, and going as far as to throw down drum tracks and revisions to songs.

Last i’ll just say a few things. One, I can’t place a date on the next main channel upload but i’ve been trying to make a nitty gritty attempt at a show review and it’s taken an unacceptable amount of time getting the way I want it to be. At the current point i’ve gotten about all the script finished, recorded and imported, so now it’s just all visual editing until release. (this can take anywhere from a few days to over a week) I also still have intention of carrying out an art stream and 24 hour/charity streams at a later date, as well as some more interesting events/videos in the eventual future. Music is a side project behind content creation, but I feel like it’s something people might be interested in hearing about even if they aren’t necessarily interested in listening to it or looking for it. 

Au Revoir

[iamfunke]

My Favorite Song Impressions: Volume 2

MFS is a place where I talk about songs i’ve been digging recently. There’s no particular order to the list, minus gardenhead being #1.

Gardenhead / Leave Me Alone - Neutral Milk Hotel

Gardenhead is very abstract, and almost reads off like a poem (as do most NMH songs). This song just feels very close to me, the raw unfilteredness of the song, the imagery of gardenscapes (My last name directly translates to garden, so maybe there’s just a subconcious soft spot for it.), and as always, the brass. This song is actually two songs put together, which works well seeing how much they seamingly transition. It’s hard for me to not feel at least a little happy listening to the song, given how peaceful it feels.

Heartache Vs Heartbreak - Ozma

HvH is Ozma’s take on a male/female duet. And they nail it. Off the obscure album pasadena, Ozma as always brings the nerdy synthesizers and guitar riffs that Weezer have been so hesitant to bring back (looking at you, Songs from the black hole.) Vocals hit hard as the song switches between tempos and intensity, my favorite part being the post-solo vocals of his armour being ‘RUUUUSTED NOOooOOooOOWW!!’ The song itself is pretty direct, speaking on what’s felt after a failed relationship. 

Get Over It - OK Go

Something i’ve noticed, is the more depressing music I listen to, the harder it is to feel particularly positive. As a result i’ve been spending some more time listening to more energetic and confident songs. Get Over It is a good example. with catchy synths and pretty classic rock guitar. The song doesn’t slouch over, it doesn’t trip on its own toes, just screams that if something sucks then sometimes you just need to move on and, well, get over it.

Bang! - Antarctigo Vespucci

Bang!, is, in fact, not a song about having sex. Well, it makes mention, but besides the point- The song’s just about how not everybody goes down in history, sometimes legacies have to end, so why not try to make it end spectacularly? This one also hits somewhat close to home, sometimes I’m just thinking about how it would suck if I disappeared and ended my presence by fizzling out. I’d much rather go out with a Bang!, were it to ever happen..

Anjela - TV Girl

Hard to describe this choice, song just grabs me. TV GIRL always has memorizing instrumentals, making me think of people beating on pots, pans, 90s computers and windows boot errors. Always good focusing and chill music for me.

Hazy - Red Vox

To Ying the Yang of Get Over It, Hazy visualizes the depression felt when shit just doesn’t go your way and you just want to sit in bed all day. Of course, the song does speak of wanting to do better, and wanting to give it your best, before being blasted with thoughts of it falling in your face again. Keen observers will recognize these vocals- sung by Vinny of Vinesauce, reasonably so- red vox is his band, after all. What Could Go Wrong (the album, hazy features off), fun fact, was also a big inspiration for me to pick up my guitar again and try to get somewhere with it. I only hope one day I can pull off albums and a band like vinny has, and hopefully, not feel too hazy about it along the way.

...Alright, that was pretty shoehorned. Forget it.

[iamfunke]

Can you do a short write up on your personality in each high school year, except senior year? I'm curious what all you were like (besides what you were doing which we already know). Thanks.

Honestly I can’t even remember. I changed so much past sophomore year that I can’t really simplify that into identifiable terms. In freshman year I was more social because I had a friend group, but I hadn’t hit puberty and I was still shy about things like relationships and speaking. Every time I talked I had my foot in my mouth and I didn’t stick up for myself much. In sophomore year I was really secluded and probably a little bitter, as we had moved out of state. I started checking out manga from the library, and later in the year normal novels to pass time during the day. Junior year I started figuring out my interests, mainly being digital media, and I made a few friends with similar interests (not particularly close though). Sophomore through Senior year I spent every day eating alone at lunch, although I would say that was by choice more than it was by seclusion. Senior year after I finished lunch I would wait by my next classroom’s door, which is where a lot of stoners in the class hung out. I wasn’t friends with them but i’d listen to their conversations and occasionally they’d pull me into them, but because I was always quiet they acted like there was a mysterious intelligence to me (very untrue). I spent a lot of that lunch time messaging friends over steam (most notably valtroid, tyche and the like). Senior year I only took 3-4 classes and worked the rest of the day, but as documented I was doing youtube more at that point. 

My parents tell me i’ve always been dry humored and a little socially clumsy, but it wasn’t really until 18 or 19 I started to form into who I am at this point. Reading over this i’m also realizing I really was a loser in HS, haha. But it never bothered me.

[iamfunke]

The importance and impact of a life schedule

I didn’t grow up taught to follow a schedule, and this has created bad habits for getting work done and being timely for appearances. (while this also applies to media like twitch and youtube, I am speaking in reference to day to day life.) 

I have bad memory by default, and by trying to retain information for later withdrawl is a recipe for disaster. For example, if I need to do yard work tomorrow, my instinct is to try and remember it and just do it whenever convenient the day of. This usually if not always ends with me not doing the task, or doing it later than anticipated. 

Recently I bought a dry erase calendar for hanging on my door, specifically to plot streaming times for the convenience of both myself and my family, but i’ve found it has helped me keep track of even more. Obligations I would otherwise forget are now relatively easy to double check, days become much more orderly because there’s less estimation work based on “when I feel like it”, and it helps my family know when is or isn’t good time to ask me for assistance or conversation. 

A calendar isn’t necessary though, simple phone reminders or scattered notepads probably do the job depending on how good you are at remembering without them. Overall, I would say if you are or have been struggling with time managment or just a general anxiety of “how will I get everything done today”, I think it is a beneficial idea to consider plotting out time for a week or two forward. To me every day is identical and the concept of weekdays versus weekends is more foreign to me than most people, but I still think planned time managment will help nonetheless. 

Wait... WHAT TIME IS IT??

[iamfunke]

I noticed that you have no likes, is it because you don't use Tumblr as a forum of social media of is the an alt somewhere out there?

I don’t link this much if anywhere, so few people know of it aside from those who know where to find it. Mostly just because I talk about more personal stuff on it.

[iamfunke]

Okay I'm sorry but in your most recent video your character shot himself, even though probably for a joke. i just know you went through stuff a while back and making sure you are mentally okay and that that is not an intent for you. sorry, a response would be much appreciated though.

That’s just my sense of humor. It’s probably unnecessarily grim to the point of redundancy, but there’s not really any deeper meaning behind it. Thanks for the concern though, i’m doing pretty well.

[iamfunke]

Finding your Passion

Today I want to speak on something more theoretical. Finding and subsequently chasing a passion. 

It’s important to note that I’ll be using the word ‘passion’ rather flexibly, and more-so referring to pursuing an interest/hobby. I’m a very passionate person, but i’m not a very pervasive person (ergo somebody who can chase one thing for long). Let’s break things down by explaining how my interests work first.

I’m very passionate about the arts. Film, Music, Naked ice sculptures with comedically disproportionate genitalia, Animation, pretty much all your standard stuff. But I was always very bad at actually staying focused long enough to learn those things. I would see other people do it and think, “wow, I wish I could do that.” 

This is the first step to finding a passion, knowing what your passion is. A lot of people feel like they don’t have a passion. I think it’s more like they don’t have self discipline. People say they don’t have motivation, but I like the phrase that “motivation doesn’t exist- only self discipline.” (motivation does exist, but it’s unreliable in the grand scheme of development) Good self discipline is the ability to keep yourself from taking the easy route, and to stay focused when trying to get into something. I’m not by any means well self disciplined myself, but I am very aware of what my limitations are and what it takes to get things done.

Anyways, First you need to get yourself in the mindset that even if there isn’t something you’re stoked on learning, that you at least want to try and learn/improve at something. Anything at all. From there, it’s all about trying new things until something catches your attention. I wanted to learn how to cover songs I like, so I got a guitar. I learned how to make covers of songs I like. From there I used that knowledge to learn how to make songs from scratch. From there I learned what programs and what the process is like for improving things.

Or another example, I like cartoons so when I was a kid I would trace posters of shows I like and try to shade them with a pencil. From there I tried to learn how to draw freehand. From there I started doodling on every paper I used in school. From there I have a drawing tablet, and now I can try to learn even further into the process.

Or another example, I liked watching youtube videos so I looked up what the best programs were, picked one (incidentally one of the less ideal ones) learned how to do basic editing, and from there the knowledge compounded over time as I made more and more stuff. Now I like to try and incorporate all my abilities on my channel. I make all of my own graphics, animations, I do all my own editing and sound mixing, and so on. It’s far from a high level operation but I would confidently argue that i’ve done well to at least establish myself through that effort.

I won’t lie, It is a long and tedious process. That’s why I amass a collection of hobbies as opposed to just getting extremely good at one over the course of a few years and working off that. I’m an impatient person. I can’t handle long-term planning on that level. But I know my weaknesses, So I try to stay fresh in all my hobbies and use them practically as much as possible. If you’re somebody who prefers to have a single or handful of hobbies, then I say more power to you. utilize that, if it’s a passion with a potential long-term future, see what successful people do to live that way. Video editors either run an entire channel or edit for an existing one (ergo build a portfolio). Artists run on commissioned and paid work (ergo build a portfolio.) Musicians play live and sell merchandise (don’t get your hopes up on those record sales, kid.) And maybe you don’t want to do it as a job, that makes sense too, doing hobbies for a job can make them suck sometimes. In that case just focus on trying to get more experienced in it rather than cutting even (this is cop out advice but it’s true and really does require pushing yourself). Not everybody is born talented, shape yourself by making your own circumstances. Improve, grow.

And if you really at the end of the day can’t find a passion worth pursuing, there’s nothing wrong with putting your support behind somebody you can live vicariously through. That’s why this post is sponsored by Skittles. Use the code “FUNKe” at skittlemykiddle.com for 15% off your first purchase of the New 50Ib. Skittlesoarus™ Crate, a crate filled with 17,000 skittles. All of the skittles come pre-licked and colorless. No refunds.

[iamfunke]

Activity/Main Channel

Hi. Channel’s not disappearing quite yet. Moving in two weeks and been out of town a lot the past month, so don’t expect too much main channel activity until around august 5th or so when things get back to routine. I’m saying this here because i’m tired of answering it on stream (and people are probably tired of hearing it as well) so this is an easy reference for it.

I will say I have a couple of things in the works that I hope to get out asap. Both in larger and smaller projects. I would still like to hit the bare minimum once per week main channel upload, that hasn’t changed, though I still haven’t quite figured out how to do it yet. Do expect continuations of existing series (meh & funktv for example) as well as new/experimental stuff. 

As for what else is going on, with the help of cinister i’m starting to get stream highlights uploaded onto the second channel more frequently (I will also put my hands forward to get some out as well but having him help is the #1 reason I can really manage to get it done at all right now). I wouldn’t expect any upload schedule for that as it is, but I will do what I can to keep them coming consistently even if at a slow rate there. I don’t want this to replace my main channel at all, but stream highlights have helped my stream grow faster than announcements or schedules ever did so I want to utilize that to get better.

Lastly i’ll say, i hate, hate, hate having to make update videos/posts. I dread having to do anything regarding “updating people” on what’s going on with my channel. Every time it makes me feel like i’ve failed at my job of figuring out a game plan, my real goal is to hit a point where I don’t have to do that anymore. I always feel like i’m 2 steps behind my peers but as long as I can hit a point where I feel like I can stride my content I will be content. pun intended

…Also, I would like to extent a huge thanks to the community that’s gathered around my streams. It’s been humbling to say the least to see it grow from a handful of regulars to an ensemble of dweebs. I know I don’t post on the discord or play with people a lot but that’s how i’ve always been and I’m always looking to find more ways to pay it back to people for showing up. I have very bad stage fright and I always get butterflies before streaming but it’s always been worth making myself step out of my comfort zone for it. This is the stuff i’m passionate for so you bet your ass i’m going to keep working to improve it.

[iamfunke]

ever thought of having somewhere to show off fanart that people have made for you, be it at the end/start of videos or even on tumblr or something? just curious ;)) xxx

I'd be happy to dedicate some stream time or end video segments to fanart, I used to do it back in the day. There's actually a pretty convenient point in my outro to fit some in anyways, so I'll start fitting some in.

[iamfunke]

Why are you so contempt at growing out a beard?

I assume you mean the opposite, since contempt implies that I hate growing a beard. It's my forbidden fruit. My purple dragon. My third metaphor here. Both of my brothers can grow decent shadows, but I can't. Some day, some day.

[iamfunke]

So, it seems like I am living the lyrics of El Scorcho. I don't know my way around it because I am far too socially incompetent to make a move and I think she might like me. Your favourite album seems to be Pinkerton. This, (to me) is hinting that you may have experienced similar situations. What do I do, man?

I'm not the best person to ask since I've hardly overcome any romantic hurdles in my life, but if you're getting stomach butterflies trying to make a move on somebody you like, you just have to take some initiative. Talk to them. Get to know them. Find a common interest, a mutual friend, or even find an interest in their interests. Ask them to go out for lunch, dinner, a movie, meet up at a group thing, doesn't matter, life is finite and everybody's going to perish so fuck it just gamble rejection a few times in your lifetime. Over the years I've learned you can't really better yourself without making mistakes to learn from, so if it takes asking one girl out too early to learn when to ask next time, I say that's better than never asking anybody at all. (Though ideally you can read social clues enough to avoid this, that's only learned with practice)

[iamfunke]

I recently found your Tumblr and I read some of the stuff you wrote about two years ago. I am going through some very similar experiences. I just meant to tell you that it made me feel very empathetic and wanted to know if you're doing better nowadays. I had no idea you had ever felt this way. And although you have stated that this type of corny comment matters little to you; you give my life positivity. But how did you deal with being depressed? I have no one else to talk to about this.

Yeah, a big part of that funk was just a roadblock in my maturity that needed overcoming. I like to think I've overcome it for some time. I avoid referring to it as depression as it was never diagnosed that way professionally, but that's essentially how I ended up dealing with it. I had to mature and focus more on the long-term instead of the short-term. I think it helped that my confidence grew eventually. For a long time (especially around then) I had somewhat of an inferiority complex, which made me only think about what I did to mess up, or to over-think anything in my life that didn't go great, but I dated a girl who gave me self esteem and I stepped out of my shell more over time. That helped pave way to feeling happy. I still don't think highly of myself but I'm very in control of my emotions, which I think is necessary for overcoming a slump.

[iamfunke]

Do you ever look at the moon? What does it say to you?

I think the real question is, what does the moon say when I’m not looking? Is it talking shit again?