i-was-once-a--tortoise

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

Help a Family Rebuild 💔

Mohamad has lost so much and now he’s drowning in debt trying to keep his sister and her five kids safe. He needs our help to bring them to safety and start anew.

We’re 25% of the way there (€5,030/€20,000). Every euro counts. Every share matters. Regardless of his name, skin color, or religion—this is about humanity.

Donate & share: Donation Link

✅ Vetted by Association:

@bilal-salah0 Here

Please, let’s make this happen. 🙏

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

bunch of interdimensional dancing beings whose heads were all brightly colored shapes and plastic children's toys manifested in my room last night and danced around me while deafening loud trumpets and brass and cymbals played a looping tune and they reached towards me and grabbed me by the nose and lips and reconfigured my whole face and skull as if it were play-dough into the shape of a rubber duck, and i was made to join their strange and frightening dance all night. anyway that's why i'm late sorry man

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

a big ass bowl of spaghetti...

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

Bro last night was a tutorial

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

if i encounter a human on the forest trails i may fly into a violent territorial rage and kill them with my teeth, or i may not. and if i do, the forest will never tell

my deepest wish most of the time is to be some sort of large almost entirely herbivorous forest ape. too big for most predators to bother with. live in the forest so surrounded by food at all times. no evolutionary need for high intelligence so my brain is in an almost constant state of thoughtless zen, with only brief moments of playful curiosity as i explore my world of food

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

my deepest wish most of the time is to be some sort of large almost entirely herbivorous forest ape. too big for most predators to bother with. live in the forest so surrounded by food at all times. no evolutionary need for high intelligence so my brain is in an almost constant state of thoughtless zen, with only brief moments of playful curiosity as i explore my world of food

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

We Just Going To 7/11 Man. Why You Need To Quicksave First? Is Something Wrong With You?

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

I'm going to learne everything

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

in the beginning all you could do was explode and move around. and then those 2 concepts fucked and new possible actions were born. picking your nose and combing your hair both have a common ancestor with scratching your ear with your back foot

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

northernlion: charlie brown had hoes? no he didn't. no he fucking didn't. what are we doing here.

northernlion two weeks later: charlie brown kinda had the most hoes out of anyone in the sunday paper.

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

That day you realized you can just beat the shit out of people until they pass out or die.

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

do you like fire trucks?

Since day one you stupid piece of fuck