i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

clark shouting "people were going to DIE" in the face of the "think of the consequences of your actions" argument is so fucking important to me bc it really IS that simple you can't look at a genocide and just twiddler your thumbs bc you're a afraid of the consequences ESPECIALLY when you can do something about it and THATS WHAT CLARK DID. WITHOUT HESITATION. WITHOUT CONSIDERING HOW IT COULD HURT HIM. bc hes a good person and in his brain its really just people were going to die so i had to step in bc what else would it be. superman i love you i love you i love you

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

Lois Lane rage-baiting Superman, questioning everything, having a conspiracy board presentation to her boss, piloting a spaceship is so kickass and having the “You always wanna see the beauty in everyone that you met and you want to take care of the world. But who’s looking after you? (I will.)” dynamic with Clark Kent and saving his martyr-ass IS SO FIRE. Her character and relationship with Clark had me smiling so goddamn wide.

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

imagine youve had superpowers since you were a kid which make you nearly indestructible so that only giant alien monsters or special rocks could cause you pain until you meet this fucking dog with the same powers as you and hes cute but hes rowdy and he loves to jump on you and push you and drag you around and it hurts so bad but you cant get rid of him because he belongs to your cousin who grew up on a planet with a red sun so shes used to feeling pain and loves it when the dog gets rowdy with her so you have to put up with this fucking dog who keeps jumping at you and ow ow ow krypto stop ow krypto please ow krypto

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

Hello new Superman fans! Welcome to the fandom. We're SO glad you decided to show up, even if maybe your stay here is brief. Stay as long, or a little as you want to.

My name's Orla, I've been in the comics fandom for over twenty years, and I have been a comic reader for over thirty.

I'm here as your friendly guide to all things Superman from the comics perspective!

First off, I want to convey that the fantastic movie you just saw is referred to as an "elseworlds" story.

This means it is a story that takes place in a totally different universe from the comics, and it has no relevancy to the main comics at all!

Elseworlds are a lot of fun as they give creators an opportunity to explore comic characters, new teams, and even comic events, in a world that doesn't have decades or lore attached! Think of it as official fanfiction.

As a result, character origins, motivations, appearances, ages, team combinations, moral alignments, and even personalities might be drastically different from the comics, the source material.

Please do not think this movie is a full spectrum representation of the depth of comics.

But Superman has always been woke, that part is 100% accurate.

While you're puttering through tags here on Tumblr you might have come across a few things that I'd like to address with the truth.

Because in the Superman fandom, we care about the truth, that was one of the most poignant themes of the movie - getting the truth out there.

Unfortunately, the fandom is full of a lot lies and misunderstandings, or partial truths. So without wasting any more time let me deconstruct a few things.

Long post below.

1.) Kon El/Conner Kent

Fandom: "This is a Clex baby that Clark abandoned for his parents to raise and owes Lex child support, and his name is sometimes spelled Connor or Konner or Kon El Kent." The above is partial truth, but the only statement that is true is that he shares 50% of Clark's DNA and 50% of Lex's, making him on technicality a child of them both, but the comics use the word clone. This is not the first origin of Kon, in fact for the first 10 years of his comic lifespan he was a human cloned from a man named Paul Westfield, and his genes was altered to just look like Superman and he had meta abilities in the form of TTK. He was not a clone of Clark to start. Geoff Johns in 2003 retconned this origin to make him instead a Clex clone, and then launched off a hurtful eugenics narrative where Kon was written to believe there was a risk of him being evil because one of his genetic donors was evil (which didn't make sense because Paul was evil himself). Just coming from watching the film, I want you to remember what Pa told Clark - it's not up for parents to decide who their children are, that's up for the person to decide. Genetics do not dictate morality. And this is why this retcon put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. This is not to say you cannot enjoy it and find it compelling, and it can be compelling, but please understand what this retcon is - a retcon. Clark never abandoned Kon ever in the comics. He never was "weird about having his DNA stolen". He never held him being a clone against him. He never purged him when he found out he was half Lex (Batman was the one that made a fuss about it but people don't want to talk about that, I'll explain more below). There is no child support. That's not even how child support works. Neither Clark or Lex raised him and Kon doesn't formally see either as a father. Lex isn't even on his radar as "family". Clark is family however and he is sort of caught in this nebulous space between an older brother and a parental figure but in all honesty, it's a nonnuclear role. Kon's name is Kon El or Conner Kent. He is like an immigrant who has a birth/family name, and a given name. His given name is Conner Kent, his birth/family name (even though he did not have it when he was born) is Kon El. They do not combine, yes a lot of people do this, they are wrong. Please spell them correctly. Kon meaning "abomination" was a thing in main comics only briefly, and it is now no longer canon.

Originally, it had no meaning when Clark gave it to Kon. Clark did not knowingly name him abomination. This is false. Kon is not dating Tim Drake, that is not canon, and he really doesn't care who Tim is dating right now. Sorry.

2.) Lex Luthor is a good dad to Kon.

No, he isn't. I cannot even begin to explain how little care he has for that boy. He does not care for him in the slightest and only ever thought of him as a tool and a weapon to serve him.

3.) Clark is a BAD DAD to Kon.

No, he isn't. I cannot even begin to explain how much care he has for that boy. He trusted him so much, he trusted him with the people he loved most and feared for the most: his parents. He is not without faults, and a lot of them have more Doylest than Watsonians explanations for why he failed Kon in various things, but in general he loves Kon tremendously.

4.) Batman anything

Look. The Batman and BatFAM fandom is a huge monolith and a lot of the fans (not all) can be very weird, aggressive and outright vile to other characters without knowing that they are being unwelcoming to the greater fandom. That being said... Metas are allowed in Gotham, Batman has ZERO power to stop them from entering, and many (like many of his own rogues) live there. Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern, lives there. Dinah Lance, the Black Canary lived there. Ragman lived there. Duke Thomas, one of Batman's bat-brood lives there. Metas are allowed in Gotham. For some reason, many in the Batfam fandom, have decided that this trope is hilarious and fail to see the parallels of this and fascism, oligarchy, xenophobia, and in current events, ICE operations... Anyway this is not a thing that is canon, it was only canon in an elseworld's comic starring Barbara Gordon. Batman might not want other people in his city from time to time, and he claims to want to work alone, but he can eat shit and live, and he does. The comics call him out on this all the time. The Batfam are very frequently glazed in fandom at the expense of other characters by people in some pretty uncomfortable and sometimes vile ways. Example: the Green Lanterns are often painted as stupid or weak to prop up a Bat-character as better than them. Or a Super character is depicted as stupid an incapable of solving a mystery when Clark is an investigative journalist and has solved many mysteries on his own before. Or, in Young Justice circles, Bart Allen (a speedster character from The Flash) is an infantile child who needs his eyes covered in front of people kissing when he is the most punk of any of his team. My point here is, if you are NEW to the fandom and you see a lot of bat posts that use other characters to prop said bat-characters or their ships, have some extreme suspicion about how far removed this is from anything in reality and embrace it as CRACK FANFIC. Because that's what it is. If you ARE interested in the Batfam they are a compelling group of characters with a lot of depth and nuance, it is just a shame that much of the fandom space, fanon, has flanderized many of them down to basic tropes and their depth has been lost in many areas. If you like this, that's fine! It's your life, but please remember that there is more out there.........

5.) The comics are so confusing and contradict each other all the time and have rebooted so many times, every other year, there is no canon and no point in reading them.

This is a partial truth but there is nuance. The comics due to their nature have many writers taking on a character and when you have so many hands on one person, personality sometimes shifts and material is lost/forgotten/written over. But I promise you - you read enough comics you start to understand that barring something really unhinged, personality is consistent. There IS a canon. The comics do not reboot every other year, there have only been 3 major ones and once you know the DATES of these it's really simple. Comics really can be simple and many characters just start at #1 for reading. There are hundreds of fans that will gladly point you in any direction and will enthusiastically share their reading lists with you if you ask for help. We're desperate for comic readers and connections and love new fans. We are twirling our hair and kicking our feet when you ask for a reading list. Reading them is like reading a book, it's reading, it makes you think, it is good for you.

And finally

6.) Lois Lane doesn't do anything in the comics other than be a damsel.

Please. The movie you just watched provided you with one of the most breath taking takes of Lois I have seen. Lois Lane is a superhero in the comics where her curiosity, bravery, and passion for ending fascism is paramount to her character. She loves journalism and has a deep love and respect for the field and she is very, very good at it.

This is all for now I have for you. If you are curious about anything else regarding comics or source material, please reach out to me and I will love to help explain some things.

Note: this is not me saying fanworks with the above themes or tropes are bad or shouldn't exist, those are fanfiction where there are no rules, BUT, a lot of these themes have been confused for facts where new fans genuinely believe the above are real things that happened in the comics and are accurate depictions of characters and themes. I am here to sort out what is fanfic, and what is fact. Because we live in a world where respect for the truth, any truth big or small, is dwindling and that is a tool of fascism.

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

just saw the new Superman and yknow what I keep thinking about?.. when he’s fighting Luthor’s diversion in Metropolis, Clark is making every effort to isolate it to a relatively open space (the park). damages are at a minimum. but that takes time, it’s not efficient enough, so then the corporate-funded Justice Gang shows up - and oops, suddenly buildings are being swept off their foundations, civilians in direct line of fire, the city core is getting ripped apart. he’s scrambling to save children, squirrels, people caught in the red zone while the others are more interested in punching the big monster. the story makes it absolutely clear that corporations don’t care about life or harm reduction, and in a world in which superheroes are already normalized, this kindness is what sets Superman apart

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

Clint in the vents and that’s his whole personality because he wasn’t fleshed out in the movies → Ava in the walls and that’s her whole personality because she wasn’t fleshed out in the movies

Thor eating poptarts and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief → Alexei eating Wheaties and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief

Natasha pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because fanon decided she’s just silly like that → Yelena pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because canon decided she’s just silly like that

Bruce being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a bad day → Bob being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a sad day

Steve being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the LAST person on board with this → Bucky being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the last person on board with this

Tony being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapons manufacturer → John being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapon himself

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

Thunderbolts* (2025) + text posts

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

YES the Thunderbolts have a fantastic team as family dynamic, yes they are living in Avengers tower, yes history is repeating itself and 2012 tower fics are so back. BUT!

instead of "Alexei eating poptarts" or "Yelena in the vents", we must come up with new headcanons and make history

Bob always does normal domestic chores, often getting in the way of important missions and spy business. "All I'm saying is Bucky is our best sniper" "It would be a much quieter assassination if I just slipped into the condo and cut his—" "Hey sorry guys, anyone have laundry? I'm doing a load"

Yelena and her guinea pig always eat meals together at the dining table. Everyone has their Chinese food or barbeque, meanwhile the rodent is loudly munching on a salad right beside them

Bucky is the mom and always keeps them on track. "Ava you have a dentist appointment in the morning, and bring Bob so they can add him to the insurance. Lena how was therapy? Alexei, I said no vodka until dinner"

Alexei is always coming up with new promotional ideas for the team. Cartoon tv show, cereal, toothpaste flavour...every day he thinks he's come up with the next big thing. Whenever they actually get put into production (Wheaties) he collects and saves it, and won't let anyone use a different product. (He threw out Yelena's frosted flakes and it took both Bucky and John to get her to stop attacking him)

Ava likes to phase and sneak attack her teammates at random. She claims it's for training but really she just thinks it's funny hearing them scream

John gets blamed for everything, even if it isn't his fault. Especially if it isn't his fault: "who ate the last bagel?" "John." "Where's my hair straightener?" "John had it." "Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher?" "Johnnnn"

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

YES the Thunderbolts have a fantastic team as family dynamic, yes they are living in Avengers tower, yes history is repeating itself and 2012 tower fics are so back. BUT!

instead of "Alexei eating poptarts" or "Yelena in the vents", we must come up with new headcanons and make history

Bob always does normal domestic chores, often getting in the way of important missions and spy business. "All I'm saying is Bucky is our best sniper" "It would be a much quieter assassination if I just slipped into the condo and cut his—" "Hey sorry guys, anyone have laundry? I'm doing a load"

Yelena and her guinea pig always eat meals together at the dining table. Everyone has their Chinese food or barbeque, meanwhile the rodent is loudly munching on a salad right beside them

Bucky is the mom and always keeps them on track. "Ava you have a dentist appointment in the morning, and bring Bob so they can add him to the insurance. Lena how was therapy? Alexei, I said no vodka until dinner"

Alexei is always coming up with new promotional ideas for the team. Cartoon tv show, cereal, toothpaste flavour...every day he thinks he's come up with the next big thing. Whenever they actually get put into production (Wheaties) he collects and saves it, and won't let anyone use a different product. (He threw out Yelena's frosted flakes and it took both Bucky and John to get her to stop attacking him)

Ava likes to phase and sneak attack her teammates at random. She claims it's for training but really she just thinks it's funny hearing them scream

John gets blamed for everything, even if it isn't his fault. Especially if it isn't his fault: "who ate the last bagel?" "John." "Where's my hair straightener?" "John had it." "Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher?" "Johnnnn"

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

neglected guinea pig + scary cat

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

Request for birthday drabbles; Roy Harper Soulmates!

The Birthday Blurbs Special

Time would stop, they always said but Roy had never experienced that.

Not until right now. It felt like everything was zeroing on this one woman. His eyes met yours and even the leaving stopped swaying with the wind, it seemed.

The open market seemed to fade into a blur. Like a silence before a storm.

Lian was tugging at his hand, saying something about a purple stuffed toy she saw on a stand they had just walked by.

"Papa? Papa! There was purple kitten-" She urged him but Roy couldn't move, speak or even breathe.

You looked at him and you knew it too. Your eyes widened in realisation.

Time started to flow again. Roy shook his head and looked at Lian, gathering her in his arms.

"In a bit, babygirl. First, I think we should say hi to someone." He said softly, walking towards you.

"Who's that? She's so pretty." She giggled with awe.

"Hi." You breathed out.

Before Roy could say anything, Lian was reaching for you.

"Hi!" She said excitedly, "You turned papa into a statue." She giggled, making you smile more.

"I did.." You nodded, "He did the same for me." You said softly, meeting Roy's eyes again. You told them your name and he knew it was the most beautiful sound ever heard.

"Roy-" He said softly, offering his hand to you.

When you shook his hand, he couldn't believe how soft your palm was. His hand was calloused and scarred with years of bow usage.

"Are- Would you like to join us?" He asked. "I mean- Unless you're here with someone?"

"No.. Just me." You smiled, falling into step beside him. "I'd love to join you both."

"Good-" He choked out, "I- We were just-"

"We're going to see the purple kitten!" Lian pointed to a standie with a variety of stuffed toys. "I'll get the one with the glitter collar."

"That sounds lovely." You beamed at her. "Should I pick one too?"

Roy simply watched how you interacted with his daughter. You weren't just beautiful, but you were so kind, so... present. It made him thank the gods he didn't even believe in for finally bringing you to him.

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

hi can i request something along the lines of jason and reader going out with dick and kory, and dick/kory assume it's a double date but jason/reader are like "we're just 3rd wheeling"!! and they're like oblivious to one another's feelings

thanks for the request!

jason todd x fem!reader. dick/kory. best friend Jason. fluff, pining, getting together, bowling! 2.5k words

****

Gotham Bowling Alley isn't as crowded as you expected for a Saturday night. But that just means you four have your pick of the lanes. Dick has his own bowling ball from home, something Jason teased him for relentlessly in the car.

"Guess the kids don't bowl like they used to," Dick says in front of you, one arm around Kory's waist. Kory's arm is over Dick's back, her tight curls cascading down her and Dick's shoulders. You love seeing them together.

"We used to bowl all the time!" Dick adds. "Especially in the early Titans days."

"The fact that you call them kids dates you, man," Jason says. "You sound freakin' prehistoric."

Jason is beside you, looking ultra cool in his brown leather jacket and black jeans combo. Underneath, he has on a t-shirt that says ask me about my life insurance policy. He smells good too, warm and spicy like cider. You edge the tiniest bit closer to him.

It's not often you two get to hang out, between his schedule and yours, so you were delighted when Dick called you suggesting bowling. At first, you were hesitant.

Will Jason come? you'd asked.

I assumed he would if you would. Aren't you gonna tell him?

So you asked Jason, and he said yes, luckily. You were secure in the fact that you wouldn't be a sixteenth wheel around the happy couple. Jason never makes you feel left out.

"I do not sound prehistoric," Dick says, already at a full pout. "And at least I don't look like a Top Gun extra."

"Hey, 'Top Gun extra' is a hot look. I wear it well."

"I would gladly make montages of you jogging and flying planes to Danger Zone," you say.

"See? I'm just the cooler brother," Jason says. "Time to face the music."

"I'm being bullied, Kor," Dick tells his girlfriend. "See that?"

Kory pets Dick's head. "I see. But when we triumph in a battle of bowls, they will eat their words!"

"Wow, Kory. Do our Outlaw days mean nothing to you?" Jason asks, shaking his head. "No loyalty."

"This is war, Jason, and I am loyal to Dick first," she says, green eyes twinkling. "I am sure you are loyal to yours as well." She looks at you.

"'Course I am," he says. "Better her than you phonies! We're ride or die, ain't that right, buttercup?" He pats your back.

Buttercup. A nickname born out of the two weeks Jason spent in an actual real hospital due to breaking a bunch of bones and some serious internal bleeding. You'd visited him everyday, anxious over his recovery, and read The Princess Bride to him. Jason had called you his own Buttercup. You'd told him the anesthesia was making him kooky. But the name stuck.

You nod dutifully. "It's you and me till the end, Jay."

Jason points at Dick. "Hear that? Be very afraid."

"Uh-huh, well, before Kory and I beat you two, we're gonna get food," Dick says, grinning. "Jay, come help me. Can you set up the lane, babe?"

Kory nods. "Of course. I would like those wings of chicken."

"Sure. Spicy?"

"Yes."

Jason points at you. "Nachos, Nerds, and orange Fanta, right?"

"Aw, you do care," you say, smiling sweetly. "Someday you'll make some woman very happy, Todd."

"Unlikely, buttercup," Jason says, winking. "We'll be back. Make sure you trash talk Kory and throw her off her game."

"No such thing," Kory says, her smile radiant. "Though you are welcome to try."

He and Dick go to the snack counter. You follow Kory down the bowling floor. She stops at a lane.

"This one?" she asks. "I've only bowled once. It was not in an official setting."

"Yeah, this is a good spot."

You set up the scoreboard and the ball machine, making sure that the lane is ready for four players. Then you sit. You don't know Kory as well as Dick and Jason do. You don't know Dick so well either, though you're comfortable enough around him. But as far as vigilantes go, Jason is the only one you see regularly. He's your best friend. You always have something to talk about with Jason. You don't know why people say he's not a talker. There's never a dull moment with him.

And right now, the awkward silence is killing you.

"So..."

"How long have you and Jason been dating?"

You blink, words fizzling on your tongue.

"Uh," you begin. "What?"

"Did I misspeak?" Kory asks, suddenly concerned.

"No, you're fine, I just... Jason and I aren't dating."

"I do not understand."

"Jason and I are just friends, Kory."

She gestures between you, her brow furrowed. "But this is a double date. That is what Dick called it. He thought bowling together would be fun because we are both couples."

"Um." You laugh nervously. "No, we aren't together."

To your great misfortune, that is. Dating Jason is a dream. But who are you? You're not even a vigilante. Jason would want someone who can take care of themselves. Someone who's as cool as he is. Who's in his league. Like Dick and Kory. A couple that makes sense.

"But it is obvious that you should be together," she says. "Your feelings are very clear."

"What are you t—"

"That is so not true!" comes Dick's voice.

You look up as the boys return. Jason plops down next to you with your and his food. His thigh presses against yours, warm through his jeans. He arranges it so that you can reach your nachos easily.

Kory meets your gaze. You turn away, shoveling nachos into your mouth.

"I'm literally an expert marksman," Jason says. "Guns are my thing."

"You did not shoot a tripwire two thousand yards down a ravine, Jason. That's impossible."

"You don't know what I can do. I contain multitudes. Plus, my eyesight got way better when I came back to life. Knees still hurt, though." He leans back, throwing an arm over the seat you're sharing with him. You quickly sit up, pretending to be invested in your food. "Buttercup, you believe me, right?"

Your instinct is to say yes because, well, Jason is cool and he's really good at what he does. One time, he summoned the All Blades in front of you, and it was like you were in sixth grade again, incoherent from a crush.

Besides, it's Jason. You'd never be a contrarian with Jason.

But now you're second-guessing everything. What do you reveal every time you talk to Jason?

"Um," you say. "It does sound pretty difficult, Jason. I really don't know."

Jason sits up, smacking a hand over his chest. "Et tu? Betrayal! Have you no faith in me?"

"Ha!" Dick claps his hands. "See? I'm not the only doubter."

"You're s'posed to be on my side, buttercup," Jason says, crowding you. "What gives?"

Normally, you'd nudge him over. Now you scoot away as much as you can, skittish like a horse. "I just think it sounds a little exaggerated, that's all."

"Whatever," Jason mumbles, flopping against the seat. "You'll see. You'll all see."

"Right. Let's start the game before Jason becomes evil," Dick says. "Who wants to go first?"

"I will!" you say, jumping from your seat. "I'll go."

You don't even care about bowling anymore. You just need to make it through the night without it being horribly awkward. Dating. You and Jason, dating! Absurd!

You take the ball and bowl. It knocks over two pins. Jason claps loudly.

"Woo!" he cheers. "Yeah! Let's go!"

You huff, turning around. "Jason, that was a terrible throw."

"I think it was great. Hush up. My turn!"

He gets a spare, to no one's surprise. Dick gets a strike, which he rubs in Jason's face for ages. Kory knocks down five pins, and Dick kisses her enthusiastically. You swallow, focusing on your nachos.

On your fourth try, your confidence is in the gutter. You look up miserably at the scoreboard. You have a whopping nine points.

"Somebody blindfold me," you say, picking up the ball. "That'll be better than what I'm doing now."

"You can do it!" Dick says, clapping. "It's only for fun, don't worry about it."

"Oh, what do you know, Mr. Three-strikes-in-a-row?" You scowl. "This is so unfair. I'm playing against two former Robins and a space princess. I'd might as well try throwing boulders."

"Y'just need a little direction," Jason says, grinning. "Hold on."

He gets up and takes off his jacket, tossing it aside. You now see that the sleeves of his shirt are cropped, meaning you can see every curve of his scarred biceps. His forearms are smattered with dark hair, and there are veins that feed into each other from the backs of his hands. Jason has big hands.

"For the record, I'd combine our scores," he says, coming up behind you. "And I don't care if we lose. But I think you deserve a fightin' chance, buttercup. C'mere, gimme your hand."

You raise your hand with the ball. Jason lays his arm and his upper body on yours. You squirm.

"Wh-what're you doing?" you ask, feeling Jason adjust your stance. He turns your hips gently and brings your arm back, swinging with you.

"Giving you some tips. You're learning how to bowl from the reigning champ."

"Not even a little true," Dick says. "I'm the bowling champion. He's better at soccer. And even then, meh."

"He's a damn sore loser, huh?" Jason whispers in your ear. You squirm again, this time wriggling out of his grip. Jason stops, watching you.

"What's up with ya?" he asks, tilting his head.

"I'm just ticklish," you say quickly, grateful that you aren't too flustered to speak. How did you not see it before? Jason doesn't touch anyone the way he touches you. You love it, obviously, welcome it in tenfold. But have you been misreading everything? Is it really so obvious?

"Well, I can't direct ya from over here. Here, I'll just guide your arm." Jason comes back, and while he doesn't drape himself over you like before, he's still plenty close. You shiver at the feeling.

"You can't throw it for her, Jason, that's cheating," Kory says.

"Quiet from the gallery," Jason says, nudging you and smiling. You smile back nervously. He winds your arm back with his. "Alright, ready? Three, two... let go!"

You let go, and the ball sails smoothly down the center. Eight pins fall, more than you've knocked down before. You gasp in surprise.

"Hell yeah!" Jason says, pumping his fist. "That's what I'm talking about."

"Nice job," Dick says. "You're still going down, though."

But on your next turn, Jason helps you again, and this time, you get a strike. You get so excited, you throw yourself into Jason's arms for a hug. He squeezes you back, telling you how proud he is. The words slip out.

"You're so great, I love you," you say, overcome with joy. It quickly disappears when you feel Jason's arms slacken.

"Um," you begin, and laughing nervously. Jason is starting to pull away. You have to beat him to it. "I don't know why... I need to use the bathroom!"

You force his arms off of you and turn tail. You run to the bathroom, locking yourself in the first stall. You lean against the door.

Okay. Deep breaths. You need to figure out which country you're going to run away to. Someplace where the Red Hood is wanted. You have options.

Why did Kory have to say that to you? Why couldn't she just let you live in blissful, pining friendship forever? Now you've gone and fucked everything up anyway. There's no way that Jason's not going to know something's going on with you.

Maybe you can sneak out the back exit and text Dick that you felt sick. Blame it on the nachos. Yeah, that's good. No one else ate your nachos so no one will know that—

"Hey. Think maybe we should talk."

You wince at Jason's voice. "Talk about what?"

"Oh, y'know. The weather, Gotham's crime rates... you sayin' y'love me and then running away."

"I don't wanna talk about it, Jason. I'm sick."

"Yeah, like that one's ever worked on me. C'mon, buttercup. We gotta talk sometime. 'S what my therapist tells me, anyway. And don't think I won't stand outside the women's bathroom all night, 'cause I will."

You groan. You know he will too.

The stall door opens with a creak. You walk out in a slump. A woman passes you both, giving Jason a weird look. He tips an invisible hat at her. "Ma'am."

You go to a more private corner outside the bathrooms, near the entrance. Jason leans against the wall on his side, crossing his arms.

"Dick and Kory think we're dating," you say.

"What? Who told you that?"

You fidget with your hands. "Kory said they invited us because they thought we were a couple. Tonight was supposed to be a double date."

"Huh." Jason puts a hand on his waist. "But we're not dating."

You roll your eyes. "Yes, Jason, I am aware. Look, I just got in my head about it and freaked out a little, but it's fine now. We're not dating. End of story."

"Be nice if we were, though."

Your eyes widen. Jason shrugs, a little sheepish, far too casual.

"What?" you squeak.

"Hmm." He glances in Dick's direction, then sighs. "Yeah. I think I did this."

"You told Dick we were dating?"

"No, Christ, no. I may not be all there," Jason says, tapping his temple. "But gimme some credit. No, uh... Dick figured out that I like you. That I'm in love with you. Normally, I'd be scared shitless to admit this, 'specially 'cause you've been skittish with me for most of the night, which I can only assume the worst from. But Dick told me he thinks you feel the same. He might be a dumbass, actually, but I'm realizing that I need to tell ya or I'll go insane. So, y'know, here it is. Ta-da."

He does jazz hands. You stare, speechless.

"Okay." Jason nods once. "He's a dumbass. I shouldn't have listened to him. BRB, gotta go commit fratricide."

"No, wait, Jason—" You hold his arm. He stops. You've never realized that, how Jason will wait when you tell him to wait. A look from you would stop him in his tracks. Jason will always follow your lead.

"I think..." Your hand slips down to hold his wrist. "I think we're the dumbasses."

"You're not a dumbass," he says immediately. "I can be one, though. Continue."

You smile. "I think everyone knows we have feelings for each other. Everyone except us."

"You-?"

You hum. "It sort of made me spiral. Kory said my feelings for you were obvious and I freaked out. Sorry."

"Nah, it's cool. When Dick confronted me about it, I almost fucked off to Bali for a month. He convinced me to be somewhat normal about it, though."

Jason moves so that you're holding hands. He swings your arms once. God, you're in love. You love your best friend. And he loves you back.

"Wanna get outta here and go on a real date?" he asks.

Dick Grayson can beat you at bowling all he wants. You know who the real winner is.

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

MR. (AND MRS.) TODD

e-e-english teacher jason. that is all. REBLOGS and COMMENTS are greatly appreciated

gotham academy, an esteemed and prestigious institution responsible for teaching and fostering the bright young minds of the city’s wealthy elites.

but when your future was a given, predetermined and handed over on a silver platter as a result of your parents’ money and influence, not much thought was given to the mundane school assignments and exams that most children worried about.

instead, study periods and group discussions were centered around the latest school gossip and drama, with one popular, recurring topic being that of yours and jason’s love life—or more specifically, lack thereof.

as the two youngest teachers and faculty members at the academy, with pretty faces to match, was it really a surprise that most of the student population was keen to see the two of you together?

the art and english teachers, two peas in a pod, destined to be together like the female and male leads of a cheesy rom-com movie.

there were signs, too, according to your students. like the small, subtle smiles exchanged in passing in-between classes, or the way your bodies seemed to be drawn to one another like magnets, always ending up next to each other at every school function and event.

and to youngsters who’d yet to fully understand the concept of boundaries, there was no clearer indication!

the only problem was that you were both married, and not to each other, much to everyone’s disappointment. but all of that would come to change one fateful day.

it was the second to last period on a wednesday afternoon. jason was at the chalkboard, going over his notes on the latest act of ‘romeo and juliet’ with the class, when a sudden knock rang from the door.

there you were, a meek and apologetic smile on your face as you walked in and handed back to him a set of keys, completely oblivious to the way your fingers ever so fleetingly touched, along with the multiple pairs of eyes that had caught sight of the ‘scandalous’ interaction.

“oh my god, did you see that?!”

“just kiss already!”

“mr. todd, are you sure that you guys are ‘just friends?’”

“enough, you little menaces,” jason demanded in halfhearted annoyance. “get back to writing. all of this information will be on your exam.”

“boo! you’re no fun!”

a call of your name. “miss, would you ever consider dating mr. todd?”

“…i don’t think that’s an appropriate question for school,” you expertly redirected.

“we’re not hearing a ‘no!’”

a fond chuckle escaped your lips before you could stop it, and you found yourself ever increasingly more amused by the children’s non-stop antics, much to jason’s apparent disapproval and displeasure.

preparing to take your leave, you rhetorically asked in good humour, “any other questions?”

a single hand immediately shot up—its owner, stoic and dignified, yet his eyes gleamed with a dangerous spark of exasperation and chaos.

oh no.

“…yes, damian?”

“when will you and todd be next available to join the rest of us for family dinner night?” damian casually inquired, purposefully blind to the intensity of his brother’s scalding glare. “father says that he ‘misses seeing his favourite daughter-in-law.’ ridiculous, considering the fact that you’re his only daughter-in-law.”

the class fell silent as the implications of damian’s words lingered in the air.

you blinked once, slowly, mind still processing as you turned to glance at your husband. jason only sighed in response, tired and defeated, his lesson plans evidently tossed out of the window for the day, as the class quickly erupted into complete hysteria.

“excuse me, what?!”

“i knew it!”

“we’ve been bamboozled!”

with your long-held secret now out in the open, you resisted the urge to smirk as you pretended to ponder damian’s question for a moment, letting out a contemplative hum before you coolly answered, “we can probably make some time next week. right, honey?”

“sure, love,” jason replied, pinching the bridge of his nose as he felt a sudden, oncoming headache. he pointedly chose to ignore the squeals of excitement coming from the back of the room at his term of endearment for you.

“good,” damian nodded in approval.

with an amused wave goodbye, you almost felt sorry for your poor husband when you noticed the look of pure anguish on his face as you hastily made your escape and left him to fend for himself.

once in the hall, you could faintly hear a voice asking, “wait, does that mean damian’s related to mr. todd?”

“not by blood, but yes, unfortunately,” came your brother-in-law’s irritated response. “now, never bring my familial relationships up in my presence ever again.”

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

MR. (AND MRS.) TODD

e-e-english teacher jason. that is all. REBLOGS and COMMENTS are greatly appreciated

gotham academy, an esteemed and prestigious institution responsible for teaching and fostering the bright young minds of the city’s wealthy elites.

but when your future was a given, predetermined and handed over on a silver platter as a result of your parents’ money and influence, not much thought was given to the mundane school assignments and exams that most children worried about.

instead, study periods and group discussions were centered around the latest school gossip and drama, with one popular, recurring topic being that of yours and jason’s love life—or more specifically, lack thereof.

as the two youngest teachers and faculty members at the academy, with pretty faces to match, was it really a surprise that most of the student population was keen to see the two of you together?

the art and english teachers, two peas in a pod, destined to be together like the female and male leads of a cheesy rom-com movie.

there were signs, too, according to your students. like the small, subtle smiles exchanged in passing in-between classes, or the way your bodies seemed to be drawn to one another like magnets, always ending up next to each other at every school function and event.

and to youngsters who’d yet to fully understand the concept of boundaries, there was no clearer indication!

the only problem was that you were both married, and not to each other, much to everyone’s disappointment. but all of that would come to change one fateful day.

it was the second to last period on a wednesday afternoon. jason was at the chalkboard, going over his notes on the latest act of ‘romeo and juliet’ with the class, when a sudden knock rang from the door.

there you were, a meek and apologetic smile on your face as you walked in and handed back to him a set of keys, completely oblivious to the way your fingers ever so fleetingly touched, along with the multiple pairs of eyes that had caught sight of the ‘scandalous’ interaction.

“oh my god, did you see that?!”

“just kiss already!”

“mr. todd, are you sure that you guys are ‘just friends?’”

“enough, you little menaces,” jason demanded in halfhearted annoyance. “get back to writing. all of this information will be on your exam.”

“boo! you’re no fun!”

a call of your name. “miss, would you ever consider dating mr. todd?”

“…i don’t think that’s an appropriate question for school,” you expertly redirected.

“we’re not hearing a ‘no!’”

a fond chuckle escaped your lips before you could stop it, and you found yourself ever increasingly more amused by the children’s non-stop antics, much to jason’s apparent disapproval and displeasure.

preparing to take your leave, you rhetorically asked in good humour, “any other questions?”

a single hand immediately shot up—its owner, stoic and dignified, yet his eyes gleamed with a dangerous spark of exasperation and chaos.

oh no.

“…yes, damian?”

“when will you and todd be next available to join the rest of us for family dinner night?” damian casually inquired, purposefully blind to the intensity of his brother’s scalding glare. “father says that he ‘misses seeing his favourite daughter-in-law.’ ridiculous, considering the fact that you’re his only daughter-in-law.”

the class fell silent as the implications of damian’s words lingered in the air.

you blinked once, slowly, mind still processing as you turned to glance at your husband. jason only sighed in response, tired and defeated, his lesson plans evidently tossed out of the window for the day, as the class quickly erupted into complete hysteria.

“excuse me, what?!”

“i knew it!”

“we’ve been bamboozled!”

with your long-held secret now out in the open, you resisted the urge to smirk as you pretended to ponder damian’s question for a moment, letting out a contemplative hum before you coolly answered, “we can probably make some time next week. right, honey?”

“sure, love,” jason replied, pinching the bridge of his nose as he felt a sudden, oncoming headache. he pointedly chose to ignore the squeals of excitement coming from the back of the room at his term of endearment for you.

“good,” damian nodded in approval.

with an amused wave goodbye, you almost felt sorry for your poor husband when you noticed the look of pure anguish on his face as you hastily made your escape and left him to fend for himself.

once in the hall, you could faintly hear a voice asking, “wait, does that mean damian’s related to mr. todd?”

“not by blood, but yes, unfortunately,” came your brother-in-law’s irritated response. “now, never bring my familial relationships up in my presence ever again.”

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

synopsis ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ you talk about your husband like he is a dream and, frankly, your coworkers think that you are making him up. that is until your husband shows up.

you talked about your husband all the time.

nanami this nanami that

“oh, my husband makes the best lunchboxes”

“he stayed up to help me with my report”

“he walks me to the station when i stay late”

you weren’t annoying about it. not really. just a little too consistent. always saying things like “he’ll pick me up after work today, we’re going to get pastries!” and showing off texts that made your coworkers tilt their heads and squint.

kento nanami sounded fake.

a little too nice. a little too attentive.

and when you tacked on the fact that he was hot — “blond, tall, glasses, kinda quiet but really handsome, you know?” — people at work started to think that maybe you were pulling everyone’s leg.

just a little.

not out of malice — no, never that — but maybe you were lonely. maybe you just needed a sweet little fantasy to get you through the day. who could blame you?

because no way someone like nanami existed. not the way you described him. it just didn’t sound real. not in this world. not in this economy.

but you never let up.

you beamed like a lovesick fool when your phone lit up with his name. you refused to make afterwork plans on fridays because that was “friday pasta night with kento.” you sighed wistfully every time someone so much as mentioned a bakery and then whispered, “kento always remembers my favorite,” like you were in some fairytale.

you weren’t smug about it either. it was just… relentless. like you were trying to manifest it into reality.

and maybe it would’ve stayed harmless water cooler gossip — “hey, what do you think her husband actually looks like?” or “maybe it’s just her roommate who makes all the food?” — if you hadn’t mentioned that he’d be picking you up from work one day soon.

“he’s on leave,” you’d said, head bent over a spreadsheet, smiling to yourself. “wants to take me out for dinner. he’ll be here early. maybe you’ll see him.”

you said it innocently. with that dreamy lilt you always got when his name was on your tongue.

but that set off everyone.

bets were placed. theories floated. some said he’d never show. others swore they’d catch you whispering to your reflection in the hallway like a crazy person. one guy from accounting said he saw you with a facetime open to a picture of a k-pop idol and he swore it was nanami. it was all harmless. mostly.

people just didn’t believe it.

until the elevator doors slid open.

and nanami stepped out.

he wore a tan wool coat, fitted slacks, button-up half undone at the throat — all that fine-tuned, elegant masculinity that seemed sculpted into place. hair slicked back, wristwatch glinting, and an expression that was all quiet restraint, the kind that turned heads on instinct.

and his eyes — sharp, deep, familiar — scanned the room once, then softened the moment he saw you.

“you ready, sweetheart?” he asked.

your coworkers went silent.

someone dropped their pen.

you lit up instantly. grinned, grabbed your bag, waved at everyone with a cheery, “see you tomorrow!” like this wasn’t the most monumental moment of vindication in the history of your office.

nanami took your coat from you before you even shrugged it off fully. guided you with a hand on the small of your back. leaned in and brushed a kiss to your temple so naturally that your coworker audibly gasped.

he glanced up then. noticed the sea of frozen faces.

“good evening,” he said politely, like he didn’t just obliterate the collective doubt of your entire floor with one gentle peck.

you left with him. smiling, chatting, looping your arm through his as he opened the door and held it for you.

and behind you — a stunned, stunned silence.

“…so,” someone whispered, finally. “that was nanami?”

“the nanami?” another croaked.

“that man’s real?”

“she wasn’t even exaggerating,” came the hollow, awe-struck reply. “she was under-selling him.”

and in the elevator, nanami turned to you and smiled, faint but amused. “you were right,” he murmured, “they really didn’t believe i existed.”

you snorted and leaned into his side. “i told you. now they’ll think i made you in a lab.”

“i wouldn’t be bothered by that,” he said, tugging you closer, kissing your knuckles as the doors closed. “you did a perfect job, if so.”

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

“Laios is such a freak, he’s too weird” OH NO! my steak is too juicy, my lobster is too buttery! What’s next? The sexy hunk is too autistic? GET OUT OF HERE!!

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

Gargoyle Security Guard that walks you home from work at the bar when your shift is up. He's a bit of a hard ass, but sometimes you think he might have a soft spot for you.

Gargoyle Security Guard who can't help but look at your plush thighs as he escorts you to your apartment. You've been wearing shorter and shorter skirts lately, it's driving him crazy.

Gargoyle Security Guard who's also noticed that you've started to leave an extra button undone of your uniform since you got those new bras. How is he supposed to keep his eyes from wandering if you're showing off your extremely fuckable tits all the time?

Gargoyle Security Guard who just wants to ravage you, to rip your clothes off and explore your soft curves. It's gotten to the point where you're all he can think about when he jerks off. Thoughts of you are the only way he can cum.

Gargoyle Security Guard that gets taken by surprise when you grab him by the shirt collar and pull him into a fiery kiss. You've been teasing him all this time and he never got it, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

Gargoyle Security Guard who gives back just as much as you give and more, closing your apartment door behind the two of you as you pull him in the direction of your bedroom.

Gargoyle Security Guard who gives you the best orgasms of your life. He should've been a musician, because he's playing you like a damned instrument.