i-dont-exist-r

[i-dont-exist-r]

The Tower Pt. 2

Poly!Marauders x ravenclaw!reader

CW: Angst, bad prank idea, alcohol use, really shitty teenage male behaviour by James n Sirius, miscommunication, ooc Lily n gang, they do a bad prank but also try to talk sense into the boys.

A/N: This got me for a second! I got lost in what I wanted to do but I think I got it figured out 🤫 I am a professional Sirius criticizer and Remus lover. sorry. Thank you for all the support and I hope you guys enjoy this!

James never meant for things to get this bad. Sure he knew they weren’t spending as much time with you as they could, but recently everything had come to a boil. Sirius had run away from his home, showing up on James’s doorstep sopping wet at 2 in the morning. The broken boy had pleaded with James to not tell the other two about that night, so it weighed only on their minds. James had reluctantly agreed, not liking keeping a secret from his partners but desperate to stop the stream of tears coming from Sirius's eyes. Remus has always had a lot on his plate, from his furry problem to his now enhanced workload, he was spread thin. And the cherry on top? James was surprised to come back to school to the new title of Gryffindor Quidditch team captain. He was extremely grateful for the opportunity, and he was going to do his best to uphold the highest standard possible for the team, but it was starting to get overwhelming. And it was only 2 months into the year. Free time was hard to find for James currently and he wished he had more time to see you. If only he could work with the boys to figure out a schedule, but even seeing them lately seems like a rare commodity. 

His eyes shot open as he realized he was drifting off, abruptly sitting up to stop himself from dozing further. He let out a soft grunt as he stood up, looking up to see if any of the other boys needed some inspiration to wake up. Sirius’s curtains were tightly drawn shut, blocking out any light filtering in through the dorm’s windows. He had gone to bed angry and snappy, firing at anyone who dared to talk with them. He had just sat with Sirius and held him until he fell asleep, sating the small tantrums  with kisses and waited until he heard snores to let go. Those same soft snores escaped out from behind the curtains, betraying any hardness Sirius was trying to display last night. James was worried his attitude would carry on to this morning, so he didn’t take the risk of waking him up directly. Instead he went to the bathroom and made an absolute ruckus of getting ready. ‘Accidently’ knocking over soap bottles, finding a way to ‘bump’ the showerhead so it falls and clatters absurdly loudly against the shower wall. By the time he comes out of the bathroom, fully clothed after knocking a few other things about, Sirius has the curtains fully open and is glaring at him. 

“‘morning” He huffs, not dropping the glare at all. James matches his glare playfully for a second before switching to a genuine smile. He stalked towards Sirius and placed a large, loud kiss on his forehead.

“Good morning sleepyhead” Sirius’s glare still does not drop, but it takes on a more playful tone. Sirius takes even more time to get ready, and by the time they reach the common room, the bells for the end of the first set of classes had rung, and they were trying to beat the bells for the start of the second. Dodging ghosts and other students on their way to class, they rushed through shortcuts and used odd passages to end up in the dungeons slightly early. Conversation had been flowing the whole way, Sirius being in a significantly better mood, and it had shifted to new, fun ideas.

“We should do another prank” Sirius suggested, buzzing with the possibility. James had laughed and had to dodge a confused first year before hesitantly agreeing and saying,

“We haven’t done one in eons” he paused again and his face contorted to one of confusion, or perhaps apprehension “But I am quidditch captain and do not want to get in trouble, and we should really dedicate any extra time we have to lovie. I feel like I haven’t talked to her in forever.”

“We talked last potions class and we see each other at every meal” Sirius said, waving his hand like he was dismissing you. “We are all busy with our own stuff, I know, but I want to do something fun together” he analyzed James' face before adding on “Plus darling has never taken place in a prank before it might be fun. And I do miss her a-” 

“Let’s ask Moony before we start going on and planning things.” James interrupted him, as the words left James's mouth the bell for the second class started to ring. They scamper towards the door decorated with scraggly art of cauldrons and potion bottles Slughorn no doubtedly drew himself. They are instantly thrown into a busy class full of potion explosions and curses. James felt your eyes burning a hole in the side of his head during the lesson, but he just couldn’t look at you. You had been looking at them ever since you walked in a minute late. If he looked away there was a good chance the potion was going to explode. Sirius kept an eye on you from his peripherals, but never put his full attention on you. Things continue like this all class, everytime you look at them they try their hardest not to look back. James’s leg twitches through the entire class. They pack up their bags in record time and race out of the classroom to meet up with Remus and plan their prank. 

______________________________________________________________

“No, I’m not pranking dovey.” Remus deadpans. Taking in the boy’s appearances, obviously low on sleep and morals.

“C’mon you don’t even want to see what her reaction would be?” Sirius peers at him curiously, trying to persuade him.

“No, I like living. I like reading. If we do this she is gonna burn all my books and then me.” he states with a little exasperation in his tone.

“Hey, being dramatic is my job!” Sirius fires back jokingly, “We just want to spend more time with her.”

“Then you can do it another way than pranking her. What was your idea anyway?” Remus asks, ashamed at the boy’s current trains of thought. The books in his hands were heavy and he was getting sicker earlier than intended. His patience was already pretty low and all he really wanted to do was see his dovie. 

“Well we didn’t really think of one yet.” James said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Code for you wanted me to think of one” Remus grimaced and shook his head. “I’m only doing it if you two think of it” the two boys groaned and complained but the tall boy stayed firm and dismissed them so he could go and return the books to the library, and hopefully make it to the hall before lunch ended so he could finally have some relief.

Remus had also missed breakfast, but for a different reason than the other boys. He had stayed up all night studying, falling asleep in the early morning hours only to wake up a few hours later. He had arrived at the dorm long after Sirius had been put to bed and left before they woke up, even before the sun had fully awoken. His first trip of the day was down to the library, hoping to finish a transfiguration essay before it was due at the end of the day. He very much to his disappointment had to skip out on breakfast, and seeing you, to write the essay. He swears to make it up to you after this week’s tests and assignments are over, but until then he needs to make studying his number one priority. He takes dutiful notes during his insanely boring classes with thoughts of you and the boys the entire time. He rushes through his transfiguration essay, probably going to get a lower grade than he expects, but all he wants to do is make it to lunch before it is over. When he was on his way to the great hall, he ran into a pouting Sirius. 

“What is the issue now?” Remus said, cornering the drama queen so he would actually talk. 

“We thought of a prank for darling but I don’t like it now and it's already too late to take it back.” Sirius spit the words out like holding them in was painful. He paused and looked behind him where Remus assumed James was still hidden around the corner. “James has started it already.” 

“What? What did you idiots do? Why did you not inform me before you started? Where is she?” More questions filled Remus’s head, but he couldn’t find the space in his brain to articulate them. His head spun as Sirius shifted nervously and jerked his head towards the same corner. 

“She was eating, but she might have left.” Sirius stopped abruptly. Like he was going to say more before deciding it wasn’t needed.

“Why might she have left, pads . . .” Remus seethed, getting closer to the boy’s face. Wanting to draw out the truth from him. Sirius sighed and told him everything going down in the hall. 

______________________________________________________________

James didn’t mean to play into it so much, he really didn’t but he just loves the bit. See, he thought that if he just played hard to get and made you super jealous then you would try to spend more time with them and seek them out instead of them always having to find you. Sirius, being just as low on sleep and sense, thought his train of thought made complete sense. They didn’t even think to go back and check with Remus because this plan was so foolproof what could go wrong!

When he stopped Lily, he had quietly prayed she would play along and not just dismiss him. When she actually greeted him softly and with a small smile he was shocked and it took him a second to remember what he was going to say. Looking at her now, he can’t remember what made him so infatuated with her in their first few years here. Remembering he was trying to initiate a conversation, he tried to go over a few small talk topics. How are you; did you get the notes for charms this morning; do you want to take part in a prank, things like that. He stepped closer and tried to find what he found so captivating about her in the first place. He moved his eyes down her hair, cascading down her shoulders, but all he could think about was how your hair moved in the gentle breeze during dates in Hogsmeade. Her eyes were shining like emeralds as she looked up at him, but your eyes felt like home and a warm cup of tea and he wanted to stay there forever. Behind her he could see you at the table, looking like your lungs were wrenched from your body. A sharp beat of pain went through his heart and he couldn’t hold the lie any longer. He wanted to reach out to you and apologize and say it was all a joke here and now. But he didn’t.

“Goodbye Lily.” He said, interrupting her sentence, then turned on his heel and walked away quickly. Murmurs erupted in the hall after him, and Lily’s voice called out after him. The only thing he heard however was your cries during the nights where it seemed all he could do was hold you as you fell apart. How you cried that you were afraid you would never be enough, never be her. All he saw was your tear-streaked face looking up at him, so focused on you he almost ran into a large, tall figure. He rushed out apologies as he looked up, into his furious boyfriend's face. 

“What were you thinking?” Remus hissed out at him, seething. James was convinced he was so hopping mad he was going to transform there and then, ignoring the moon cycles. “Kitchens, now” 

______________________________________________________________

They had just gotten back from the kitchens, mulling the lunch debacle over tea and some much deserved food for Remus, when they ran into Lily and company in the common room. 

“Hey Jamie!” She said, a tad excited, before moving over on the couch and tapping the spot beside her. “Come sit.” James laughed lightly, slightly unsettled, before sitting next to her with a little bit of distance. The other sofa opposite of them was covered in books, inkwells, and a frightfully towering stack of sweets. In Lily’s lap were the charms notes from this morning, and a few more sweets beside her. Mary was sitting on the arm of the couch next to Lily, leaning over her shoulder to look at the notes. Sirius sat on James’s other side, which left Remus to sit on the armchair next to the couch, where Marlene was sitting on the arm of the chair closest to the pile of sweets. “So about the prank you wanna do” Lily starts.

“Oh, yeah.” And James explains the thoughts behind his and Sirius's dumb idea. It was a Friday so, ever the alcoholic group, a bottle of firewhisky was brought down. Naturally they kept it stashed under the table behind a stack of books, unseen from the door (and most other angles). Lily nodded along and asked questions with a confused look on her face.

“So why not just talk to her?” She asks, unwrapping a toffee. The charm notes have been abandoned and moved to the stack of books on the other couch. James thinks for a second before taking a sip of the firewhisky. He apprehensively opens his mouth to say something, but shuts it quickly. Sirius decides to take the lead on this one,

“It’s not that simple, we can talk all day about this to her but she won’t change her actions. She’s shy, she doesn’t like attention.” Remus grunts at that, almost in disapproval but when everyone looks to him for clarity he shrugs and crosses his legs like he didn’t do anything. “She doesn’t like causing attention.” he mended before continuing, “We just want to see if she has a different side to her when she is jealous.” James decided he had found enough words to interrupt Sirius and continue on his own tangent.

“When we do something she doesn’t like she comes up to us, tells us what we did, why it hurt her and what she needs from us. We haven’t had any sight of something happening where she can’t control what she wants to say in the moment.” Marlene sighs and looks at Mary exasperated. James continues, “I just wish she was more-” he moved his hands around like he was trying to keep occupied while finding the right set of words. “Open. With us.” he settled and nodded while everyone else looked at him questioningly. “While still being her witty and sarcastic self, but she just feels rough and direct when she has a problem or is arguing wit-” James was rambling like he had a bit more to say but he was interrupted by a gruff voice that hasn’t spoken since you were brought up. 

“Because she doesn’t want to be arguing.” Remus opposed. “She knows she will say the wrong stuff so she just stops arguing. And starts stating things.”

“She always says ‘wrong stuff’ but what does that really mean?”

“Things she can't take back, James” Remus huffs, approaching a boil at the whole situation. “She knows how she works, we should trust her on that. We can only do so much besides love her and support her.” He uncrosses his legs and leans back into the chair. 

 Mary claps her hands and stands up, “Let’s get off this topic and onto the prank!” she says, almost yelling to get over the tension building in the room. “So you all really want to do this? Because a bird just signalled that she is coming up the tower.” The ‘bird’ was a wildlife painting that sent a raven soaring through all the paintings in the common room. The group scrambled to find the nearest lap to them. Lily stood up to allow James to sit where she was, and she draped herself over his lap. Her back laid against the arm of the couch and her legs balled up on the other side of his legs. Sirius sat next to them with Mary perched awkwardly on top of his lap. 

“Well you look comfortable.” Lily chortled and lightly kicked Mary on the thigh, earning a sigh and protests from the victimized girls. “I’m usually the one getting sat on, I don’t know how to do this.” She defends herself and tries to relax into Sirius as much as possible. Remus hadn’t even allowed Marlene into his lap at first, pushing her away. They compromised on her draping her arm over his shoulder and him letting her put her legs over his while still sitting on the arm. Right after they had settled the painting swung open, revealing you and a delicious looking tray of biscuits. 

Immediate dread washed over the room and Marlene immediately took her hands and legs away, not being able to keep up the act. Sirius immediately understood how badly he fucked up when he saw your face. Disbelief, mixed with heartbreak and a weird sense of relief. Like you were waiting for this to happen but thought it was only reserved for your worst nightmares. He shoved Mary off his lap so hard she almost fell into the stack of sweets on the other couch. James stared in shock at you, as you stared back trying to take in the scene. They could see the cogs turning in your head, the rage building behind your eyes. Remus was the first to stand, inching towards you silently. A glare from you quickly stopped him in his tracks, and stopped Sirius from even getting up to join him. Lily, not catching on to the shift, acted dumb and said,

“You aren’t supposed to be here” James turned to Lily in shock before turning back around to face you. Your hands were gripping the tray so hard James could see them turning white.

“And you aren’t supposed to be on my boyfriend’s lap” He flinched at your tone. Bitey, as expected, but it had a hint of betrayal. While you weren’t close with Lily, there had definitely been a sort of trust that had built over the years. Fragile trust, as it had just broken into a million different pieces. As had your trust with them, they all felt it shatter with that sentence. He just registered that Lily was in fact still on his lap. 

“Let’s not go there love” He tried, standing up quickly, making Lily fall with a yelp. He made a mental note to apologize to her later, and continued towards you. Ignoring the glares that had previously stopped the other two, he stopped out of the range of your arms. 

“I have been there since you two ran from me after potions, now is a very different thing.” You spat at him. He could feel the venom in your words infect his heart. They really didn’t mean to run from you after, honestly they didn’t hear you. He watched as you put the tray down on the nearest table, balancing it on the books littering the surface. Marlene takes a few steps towards you while you are distracted, hoping to salve something.

“It’s really not what it looks like -” She starts to explain but you harshly interrupt her, standing stick straight and holding your wand at your side. 

“If you get any closer to me im going to hex you through that fucking window.” You raised your arm holding the wand towards the window that had an unobstructed path out to a deadly drop. Everybody stopped moving at the new tone they had never heard come out of your mouth. For a moment they stopped breathing, not knowing what else you were going to do. Quickly catching onto this tension you briskly walked out of the room, ignoring the desperate calls coming from the boys behind you.

____________________________________________________________

A/N: MUAHAHA ITS A 3 PARTER. I gotcha. Nah this part got away with me and before I knew it it was 1k words longer than the other part lol. No promises part 3 won't take just as long or longer but it will come eventually, thank you for reading!

Taglist: @riotrose8 @queenanababy @lemonylover

[i-dont-exist-r]

The Tower

Poly!Marauders x ravenclaw! reader

CW: Angst, a really bad prank idea by the one and only marauders, deep author self insert disguised as an x reader lol, reader is mentally and physically...unwell. Marijuana use, ooc Lily n gang

AN: My first writing post in *checks timeline* 3 years? yeah I was bored during work and thought of this. there will be a part 2!! lmk what you think!

For a while you can hold your tongue. The words going through your head dying in the filter from your brain to your tongue. The whispers around you either go unheard on purpose or your head is just so full with other things. "Saw Sirius with a random snake in the courtyard yesterday." Insults hurled in your direction are brushed off, not to say they didn’t hurt. It is mostly late at night, at the top of the astronomy tower with weed in your system that they cut the deepest. During the day you can hold your boyfriends’ hands and let it all bounce off your back. They can hold you when it gets too rough, when the whispers break through your barricades. "Remus was seen studying with marlene McKinnon last night...late!" Many sleepless nights they have spent assuring you that you are enough for all of them, and you don’t need to act any more like somebody to earn their love, it is given because you are you. The only thing it really succeeded in is making you feel was guilty for making them lose sleep on a weeknight. However, you could only stay for so long before they walked you back to your tower, Minnie would take 100 points from Ravenclaw if she caught you in the Gryffindor tower after hours, James said. Not that they have snuck you up recently to quell these worries, it feels like months since you have seen the inside of their (somehow comfier) dorm. 

Today, the wall you have built has crumbled by lunchtime. The boys were nowhere to be seen at breakfast, despite you staying 5 minutes past at the great hall doors to see if they would come running down. Usually this wasn't unusual for Padfoot, ever the oversleeper, and even sometimes for Moony. But with a quick mental check you confirmed it wasn’t near a full moon, and made a note to try and ask in potions. The only class you have with the boys, except moony because the wanker takes advanced potions. Your leg shook the entire way through astronomy (where you double checked it wasn’t near a full moon) and hands shook the entire way across the castle to potions. Unfortunately, you were paired with a housemate for this assignment because it was worth a substantial part of your mid-year scores. Through the whole class you never felt their eyes on you once. You could feel their stare across the castle, but the entire 90 minute class from 3 feet away you didn’t feel them once. Multiple times you looked at them and willed them to look at you for even a second but they never looked up. When the class ended, you packed your bag as quickly as possible to catch up with them but they were already halfway out the dungeon by the time you looked up. Now you were suspicious they were avoiding you. The whispers crawled back into your brain from earlier after breakfast when you were waiting for them desperately. 

“..and I saw them with her in the courtyard,” some hufflepuff murmured to her friends that you couldn’t quite make out behind the pillar, “Yeah her. Looked…intimate” and she flourished it off with giggles that weakened your defensive walls. At lunch, they were there (well James and Sirius) for about 5 minutes before running off before you could even walk up and greet them. After they walked out, Lily, Marlene, and Mary walked into the hall. Prong’s mouth split into a brilliant, heartbreaking smile when he saw Lily as he walked out. He stopped in his tracks and talked to her as Sirius kept walking, and she stopped and talked back. Her bright hair glowing in the sunlight let in by the large stained glass windows. His eyes bounced all over her, from the strand of hair that sat slightly up on her shoulder, the light in her eyes, the way her hands stayed folded and her stance firm and confident. Something stirred in your gut as you watched the whole scene and his eyes didn’t meet yours once. His eyes never ricochetted over you like that, he never smiled like that when you walked into a room. Your heart started to twist and prick at your sinuses. Your defensive walls imploded, a sharp pain forming behind your eyes. Waiting until James finally left you decided to ditch the rest of your classes and replenish your personal stock. Your feet carried you to madame pomfrey’s paradise, the smell of antiseptic invading your senses. Calm footsteps coming from the mother figure’s office approached you paired with a knowing sigh. 

“Are you here to re-stock? You are using more than usual” she said with a hint of disappointment, “If you up your use anymore I'm going to have to force you to fill out a chart.”

“I’m not here for that, I have some left,” You let out a small smile, tapping the breast pocket of your robe. “Do you have any draught of peace?” Pomfrey paused, studying you before considering her next words carefully,

“Do you need the unction too?” A beat of silence passed before a chuckle escaped your lips. 

“Not yet, but I will keep you updated.” She nodded and disappeared into the storeroom, quickly coming back out with 2 bottles.

“You know better than to take both, but I still have to tell you to be careful and take breaks between sips. If you start to get dizzy come straight to me.”

“Yes mom-”

“Stop calling me that” she interrupted your (very old) bit. 

“Yes ma’am” you said jokingly, straightening up and putting your hand to your forehead like a military sergeant. Immediately wincing in pain at the pain shooting up your spine, she started towards you to see what happened but you stopped her and took the bottles out of her hand. “I have more of those too and yes I will take it as soon as I get back.” She simply smiled and waved you off.

“Go back to class”

You were never one to do what people told you, you thought as you made your way back to Ravenclaw tower. Thankfully the riddle was simple, as the draught was already making your brain a little fuzzy. Perhaps you forgot how strong this potion was, you hadn’t had to take it in months. Usually your coping methods allowed you to use minimal help with your emotional control and perception but things felt like they were getting out of control. In the fuzz, you decided to try and get the information out of the one boy that hasn’t been obviously avoiding you. The trek down to the kitchens was less so with the cloud over your mind. This draught was nice, it gave the effect of smoking without the coughing and hassle of finding a place to do it. The elves looked at you funny as you asked if they had any chocolate scones or biscuits but you really don’t care what you had to do in trade for them. Cleaning the ovens on the weekend doesn’t seem too bad. 

With the help of the potion, you force hope into your heart as you approach the fat lady. Sucking in a breath you muttered the passcode Sirius had given you at the beginning of the relationship. When the frame swings open you half scoff at the un-changing passcode and at the fact the passcode was even the right one. You hate that part of your brain that gets so distrusting of them so quickly. Maybe it was right though, because the sight beyond the frame made you want the throw the tray at their heads trickshot style. 

Lily, Marlene, and Mary are sitting in the boy’s laps, one in each. Hands all over each other, books stacked up on the table, quills untouched. Only positive was that Marlene wasn't completely on Remus's lap, just on the arm of the chair. So Remus wasn’t feeling bad, reasoning #1 is bad. Nothing about this has to do with you, judging by the deer in headlights look each of them have. So it is not them planning a date for you, reasoning #2 gone. And they are not studying or crying so this closeness is not justified. Reasoning #3 gone. The cloud over your brain starts to thunder. An orchestra of lip popping and fire crackling sounded out as they tried to find any words for their position. At least Remus and Sirius had the decency to push the girl’s off their laps and look like kicked puppies. 

“You aren’t supposed to be here” Lily said dumbly, still sitting on James’s lap and looking at me owlishly. 

“And you aren’t supposed to be on my boyfriends lap” you snapped, watching James flinch at the bite in the tone. 

“Let’s not get there love” James tried, standing up and making Lily fall off of him with a yelp. It took a lot of strength to not smirk at that. 

“I have ‘been there’ since you and Sirius ran from me after potions. Now is a very different thing.” Your hands stayed clenched around the handles of the tray, as you took a deep steady breath (on the outside, on the inside you were losing it very fast). Quickly you put the tray down on the nearest surface to you before you started hurling the innocent pastries.

“It’s really not what it looks like.” Marlene starts, standing up and starting to close the distance between you two.

“If you come any closer to me I am going to hex you through that fucking window” You pointed at the window to the left of the fireplace, the only one free of books and random artefacts. The words felt thrown from your mouth, like you didn’t control them. You knew it was what you were thinking, but usually you would never let that escape. A gasp came from somebody in the room, you couldn’t tell who the source was. The only thing you could hear was the voice in the back of your head saying you were in fact never enough for them. The only thing you could see was James’s smile as he talked to Lily in the great hall today. Quickly you regained your composure and borderline ran out of the room. Voices echoed through the common room and into the hall after you but you didn’t process them. Blood rushed through your ears and your legs just started carrying you towards an unknown destination. 2 years of promises rang through your ears, both from your 3 loves and their friends. Who have been witness to some of the darker nights. Who have no doubtly heard the rest of my worries secondhand from the boys. Who still did this. You knew that if you had stayed more would have been said, things you couldn’t take back. As much as you want to go back and throw things, and hex them, and yell at them you can’t find the energy to. It won’t be productive nor get anywhere positive. Your legs stop working at the top of the astronomy tower stairs, the items in your breast pocket start sounding like the best idea you have had all day. Sitting against the wall, you position yourself to have a full view of the courtyard as the bells for the last class ring. The yard fills with waves of students going back to their rooms or their study spots before dinner. Among the masses you spot familiar mops of hair, frantically dodging and shoving students out of their way. 

You faintly remember an argument you had last year after they had used the map to find you after a meltdown. You had spent a week mad at them, they had invaded your privacy and your specific request for some time to cool down. You had even threatened to break up with them over it in a heated argument. Explaining to them how your brain works, and how to possibly help next time, it slowly got better. They spent a month spoiling you after you had said you forgave them. 

Thank Rowena you didn’t step forward towards the railing, you think as you see Remus angle his head upward and look up towards the tower. You took a lighter and a joint out of your robe pocket, flicking it and lighting the heavenly objects. The pain from before stays embedded in your spine, the stone floor and the stress not helping. Now to see if they remember where they found you the last time, an unintentional test but one all the same. 

You wish you took up Pomfrey's offer.

Thank you for reading! this is now edited! yes somethings changed from the og post of this because when I was writing pt 2 I had to re word some things for clarity sakes.

[i-dont-exist-r]

I am going to Real Jail

[i-dont-exist-r]

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

[i-dont-exist-r]

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

[i-dont-exist-r]

Well, well, well look who came running back

[i-dont-exist-r]

[i-dont-exist-r]

I love that I'm so noninteractive on this site that the reddit refugees are learning and posting more than me. Welcome to hell guys.

[i-dont-exist-r]

It’s not common to see Atsumu fuming.

Genuine anger, not the petty shit he throws at you when he decides he wants to be an obnoxious turd to yourself or his brother.

You can tell the difference, too, because a petulant pout and attitude is plastered on that pretty face of his, but when he’s genuinely mad, there’s no attitude; it’s just raw emotion and lips pulled in a straight line, his chest giving irregular, short breaths because he can’t breathe. It’s almost scary, but it happens so little that you’ve learned to manage it when it does happen.

This is one of those rare occasions you have no clue which he’s feeling.

The car door outside slams shut, sending a nervous chill up your spine, but it’s immediately squashed when you hear Hisako’s innocent laughter. You smile and turn towards the now opening door, and you give atsumu a fake, sympathetic look when his thick brows are furrowed in frustration. On his leg, Hisako’s tiny arms are wrapped around him, her legs locked around his ankle and her smile that’s missing a tooth is beaming up at him.

“You,” he scolds, looking down at his menace of a six year old. “Go upstairs. And don’t come out until you’re seventy-eight.”

“Can I hug mommy first?”

“If you must,” he growls. With that, Hisako quickly bounds over to you and reaches her arms up for a hug, and while you give her one, you watch as Atsumu paces the floor, cards his hair, chews on his cuticles, anything to make him calm down.

“Daddy’s mad,” she whispers in your ear.

You offer her a snort, “I know.” With a kiss to her head you plant her back to her feet and nudge her to go into her room, waiting until to door closes before you turn back to your husband.

“Atsumu-“

“I’m not ready for this,” he growls. “The little traitor, I can’t believe she’d do this to me- my own flesh and blood.”

“Don’t word it like that, you make it sound like she committed arson or something.”

He softens and pouts like a dog; clearly, whatever it is, it’s taking a toll, and you sigh before you walk over and plant a kiss to his forehead. “Whatever it was, I know it wasn’t on purpose; what happened?”

“She’s just not ready, okay, she just doesn’t know-“

“Sweetheart, you need to let me in here-“

“He was holding her hand!” He whines, scrubbing his face with his hands. “They-They-They were holding hands! I thought I had a few more years to prepare for this shit! Wanted to wait before I put the fear back into these damn boys! I can’t fight a six year old!”

You pause. You retract your hand and give him an absolute smirk.

“You’re kidding me?”

“Sure ain’t!” He barks, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s so mad his forehead vein makes itself known with a sheen of sweat. “Tomorrow, I’m going to that damned school, and I’m moving her classes!”

“Honey,” you say sweetly, gently grabbing his arm to ground him. “It’s okay; I’m the one who told her to be nice to this boy.”

Instantly, his head whips in betrayal. His eyes are blown wide, muscles tense and despite how angry he looks, he can’t find the words to convey it.

“YOU WHAT?”

You shake your head, “she asked me why she feels butterflies in her tummy when she sees him.” To try and soothe him, you hook your head over his shoulder and bat your eyes innocently, “and I told her that it’s the same feeling I get when I see you-“

“Don’t try to be sweet, I’m mad at you,” he snarls, but there’s a softness in his eye that makes you think he’s not as serious as he thinks he comes across. A massive hand cards through his hair and he looks up to the sky as if to ask for patience. “I can’t believe this. My two babies, the loves of my life, betraying me in such juvenile ways.”

“Atsumu, spell juvenile,” you challenge.

“Spell ‘no’,” he grumbles. You sigh and gently grab his arm to pull him to the couch, and for a few seconds he puts up a small fight, but does end up giving into you in the end.

“Sweetie, listen to me,” you soothe. “Hisako is six. She’s going to start having little crushes soon enough-“

“Fuck, stop reminding me,” he whines.

You shake your head and rub a soothing hand on his back. “And all we can do is let her express those feelings in healthy ways; it’s what we’ve always done.”

“What if he hurts her?”

“He’s six.”

“What if he breaks her heart?”

“I’m sure she’ll cope.”

“What if he-“

“Atsumu.” Your hands squish his cheeks. “Calm down; she’s going to be okay.” You smile and kiss his pouted lips, “you remember what it was like having a crush at school-“

“Excuse you,” he grumbles from his squished cheeks, shaking his head from your grip. “I’ve only ever been in love with you.”

“You’ve told me about your relationship with Rintaro, trust me, that was a crush.”

“Was not!”

“Was too.”

“Was not!”

“It absolutely was.” You smile warmly, “and that’s fine. But now, you need to let her experience the same thing. She’s a big girl. Besides,” you nudge your nose with his, “you’ll always be her favorite man.”

“That’s actually Osamu, but I appreciate it.” Your words do seem to calm him down however, and he wraps a big arm around you to settle into the couch, “I just love her, baby… just want her to be safe.”

“I know; and she will be.”

The silence you get comfortable in gets interrupted by the door to your home getting flung open, and while you jump in the air in shock, next to you, Atsumu chuckles.

“Speaking of the devil.”

“What did you-“

Before you can say anything, Miya Osamu suddenly stands in the middle of your living room, the hat on his head tampered with and his apron turn on his hip, his head lined with sweat as if he ran here. Your jaw slacks in surprise, “Osamu, you did not leave work to come here-“

“WHAT STUPID LITTLE SNOT WAS HOLDING HER HAND?”

[i-dont-exist-r]

HELP?

[i-dont-exist-r]

why are we letting twitter be funnier than us

[i-dont-exist-r]

An overwhelming sense of calmness descends upon the Disco.

[i-dont-exist-r]

Today is a very special day

[i-dont-exist-r]

#Once again, Joe, Joseph and Gaten are just their characters

[i-dont-exist-r]

Normalize taking care of men. Normalize holding and kissing them when they’re sad and just because. Normalize doing nice things for them. Normalize genuinely listening to them when they’re upset. Normalize complimenting them and telling them you love and appreciate them. Normalize taking care of your man the same way you would want him to take care of you.

[i-dont-exist-r]

being a girl is all about jumping from one obsession to the other to run away from yourself

[i-dont-exist-r]

happy pride to bi girls with bad posture