i-am-trying-my-best-please

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

i think i just stumbled into a new fave aver piece of art but i cant find a title...

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

dipper and mabel bad end where they end up like ford and stan

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

I need a pretty strong curse for an emotionally abusive, jealous half-sibling. She’s done horrible things in her life, and she’s spent all of my adult years trying to butt in my life & make me feel insecure. I’m far from the only victim of her abuse though. Advice on curses?

Hello.

I’m sorry that you and others have had to deal with someone difficult. It’s never easy when you are forced to endure someone abusive.

✧ CURSES & CURSING ✧

TYPES OF BANEFUL MAGIC[K]

Jinx: to bring bad luck. 

Hex: considered to be worse than a jinx, but not as bad a curse.  

Curse: powerful baneful magic[k].

*It is important to note that the original meaning of ‘hex’ was simply to cast a spell, but over the course of time the meanings of these words have changed and now each word is given to a varying severity of baneful magic[k].

COMMON CURSE INGREDIENTS

✧ Plants:

Ague Weed: confusion.

Angelica Root: misery, distress, discord.

Bindweed: binding.

Blackberry Root: distress.

Black Salt: misery, strife.

Bloodroot: blood substitute.

Blueberry: confusion/lack of clarity, strife.

Cayenne Pepper: heightened anxiousness. 

Chili Powder: discord, misery.

Clove: halts gossip and rumours.

Cramp Bark: illness/pain.

Dragon’s Blood: destruction, misery.

Hemlock: sadness, discord.

Henbane: illness, distress.

Knot Weed: binding.

Lemon: bitterness.

Lemon Verbena: terminating relationships.

Lobelia: disharmony.

Mandrake: misery, struggle.

Mistletoe: isolation, loneliness.

Mullein: nightmares, spirit work.

Mustard Seed: bitterness.

Deadly Nightshade (Belladonna): discord, illness, toxicity.

Poppy Seed: disharmony.

Rue: sadness, misery.

Spanish Moss: negativity, bad luck.

Slippery Elm: terminating relationships

Stinging Nettle: jealousy, discomfort.

Tobacco: spirit work (can also be used as a substitute for many herbs in baneful magic[k] should you need it).

Vetiver: emptiness, silence.

Wormwood: misery.

Yew: poison/toxicity, spirit work.

✧ Crystals:

Agate: to use on someone uninvited/unwanted.

Amethyst: sensitivity, heightened self-awareness, self-destruction.

Diamond: blindness (not physical).

Emerald: isolation, greed.

Flint: stirs conflict.

Garnet: saps energy from someone.

Kyanite: use to penetrate someone’s mind.

Obsidian: serves for general use in baneful magic[k].

Onyx: disrupt/terminate relationships, nightmares, psychological torment.

Ruby: focus and channels intent.

✧ Miscellaneous:

Taglocks: DNA, a photograph of the target, a name written on a piece of paper, a signature, an item that belonged to your target.

Broken glass.

Vinegar.

Alcohol (spirits tend to work best).

Bones.

Needles.

Nails.

Coffin nails.

Rusted nails.

Thorns.

Blood.

Urine.

Saliva.

Semen.

Menstrual blood.

Fingernails.

Dead insects.

Cemetery dirt.

Razor blades. 

Tar.

EXTRA THINGS TO CONSIDER:

The Moon PhaseSome phases of the Lunar Cycle hold powers and associations that may aid you in your curse, for example: 

Waning Moon:  binding, getting rid of something.

Dark Moon: destruction, banishing, justice.

When you construct your curse, take some time to consider the strength of your baneful magic[k] and the intent behind it. Do you want them to truly suffer? Do you want them to feel the weight of their wrongdoing? What is it that you want?This is very important to establish because although the magic[k] is intended for another, it manifests from you.

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

inconspicuous taglocks

for when you don't like, go in the person's house and can't rifle through their things without looking like a massive creep

Loose string on their clothes ("here let me get that for you")

Cigarette butts (makes you just look like a nicotine addict)

Used bottles, plastic silverware or cans (maybe you're really into recycling!)

Stolen lighters ("ill give this back to you later")

Printed photos (stalk the facebook)

Borrowed pen or pencil (bonus if theyve been chewing on it!)

Anything of theirs that they left behind, just say you'll give it back to them later.

Drawn or sculpted effigy (if you're a good artist) maybe a traced photo if you can't get a printer

Used menstrual products (gross but in the bathroom nobody can see and a very very strong taglock)

If you can get nothing but written information: you want the birth date and full name. You can get a playing card, write the name across the top, birth date across the bottom, and baptize it in the name of the person.

Things to avoid

Piss and shit. Thats not sanitary like... Piss is sometimes used as a taglock for men but its hard to collect inconspicuously because it also mixes w every other awful bodily fluid in whatever toilet ur playing in. And it's waste so not very strong because energetically the body is literally purging it.

Phones and ipads, necklaces, ID cards, valuables in general, unless you are dead sure you can get away with it because people tend to take it very seriously. It is powerful though because they probably spend a lot of time with it and they will likely miss it, good for love workings!

Anything especially big that you will have a hard time hiding. Like just don't get caught. If you take an entire jacket or something either change it fundamentally and get rid of it like using a flannel to make a charm and burying it, or sew a very subtle charm into the lining and give it back like hahaha you left this here xoxo. Or with shoes you could also pry up the heel and stick a charm in between the sole and the inside.

Hope this helps!

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

i can tell i’m sleep deprived bc i just made myself cry about tutankhamun and i have, like, negative interest in the kid

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

If you have a senior to check on ask them to "borrow" something small so they think they're helping you.

My mom (72) recently downsized and moved close enough to me that checking on her in person regularly is not really out of my way, but when I was obvious about it she wouldn’t let me “stop-by” because she was, “fine”.

Well, one day I actually needed some aluminum foil so I called and asked if I could borrow enough to cover a baking tin because I didn’t want to run to the store. She said sure, but when I got to her house she needed furniture moved, a wasp nest removed, and her coffee pot fixed. After I got the foil I mentioned each thing cautiously and she let me take care of them for her. So next weekend I’ll need a cup of rice and check on her again.

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

from raphael bob-waksberg's twitter..

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

Review: “Tender Is the Flesh” by Agustina Bazterrica

This novel is brutal. It is disgusting. It makes you want to become a vegetarian.

After a virus makes contact with animals deadly, humans turn to eating each other. Not willy-nilly: there is a whole industry about it, a system. The poor and refugees are first, then the dying, the next generation is already bred into captivity. Farms, slaughterhouses, butchers stay the same and just adapt. A few words are changed, to make less obvious what is happening, but other than that, everyone adapts. One needs protein, after all - right? And that is why the book is so powerful: by showing you full detail of the common opinions about life stock, our treatment of it (not just in the meat industry), the methods of slaughters, as well as things like hunting animals for fun with humans in place of cows and pigs, you begin realizing how we treat those animals and how arbitrary it is that we eat those animals, keep others as pets - but aren’t we animals ourselves?

I took one star off because of two reasons: the option that the virus could have been made up by the government to combat over-population is not explored nearly enough. A few more hints, proof for or against it, would have been nice. Secondly, the ending. It was shocking, but did not make much sense. It seemed out of character from what we had seen so far, as it went in the opposite direction of the development we had seen.

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

Tender is the Flesh - Review

Score: 4-5/10 Length: 6 Hours 44 Minutes / 211 Pages Subject Matter: Horror, Dystopia, Science Fiction Extreme Content: Graphic Death Animal/Human, Sexual Assault, Pseudo-Bestiality/CSA (It’s complicated) Desc: Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans - though no one calls them that anymore.His wife has left him, his father is sinking into dementia, and Marcos tries not to think too hard about how he makes a living. After all, it happened so quickly. First, it was reported that an infectious virus has made all animal meat poisonous to humans. Then governments initiated the “Transition”. Now, eating human meat - “special meat” - is legal. Review: This book was a rollercoaster. I loved it at the beginning, the worldbuilding was fantastic, the pace electric, and it was incredibly engaging. And then it got, bad.

Full Review under cut

Keep reading

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

does a gay little run that pisses you off

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

mutuals do this

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

Hm I see. I kind of need to hold these or I’ll die.

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

the end of men in black is so funny. your boss trains you for two days on interplanetary relations then says "ok I think you can take it from here. I'm wiping my own memory so don't bother calling me if you have any questions"

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

I think without Spider-Man, there’d be no hope for this city.

The amazing spider-man 2 (2014) dir. Marc Webb

[i-am-trying-my-best-please]

excuse me while i go cry

[text ID: tweet by Heather Christle replying to Danez Smith that reads, “Once a first grader asked me how long a poem had to be and when I said it could be just one word he wrote a poem that was just his best friend’s phone number. 💖]