i-am-the-floor-goblin
A venti disaster
28K posts
Hey, I'm Sam. I'm 28 bi/nb/any pronouns are fine. Can and will talk for weeks about how gay LOTR is
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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sometimes the media consumes you. unfortunately
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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Not to sound Romantic or anything, but I too have a striking fascination with the irrational, the demonic and the grotesque.
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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To all the 13 year olds out there being viciously mocked online by other 13 year olds for being into stuff I've never heard of, hang in there, one day you'll be like 30 and be like "what on earth are all these 13 year olds viciously mocking each other online about, I've literally never heard of that" and yes it IS as great as it sounds
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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hello. I work at a silly fnacy cinema now and as a result of this. often have to go around our seating area/ bar area and let people know that x screen is ready and they can go through if they are ready.. obviously some people are there for other movies or no movie or have just finished watching a movie.. so all that SHOULD be needed is, Me: "Hey you here to watch spiderman in screen 4 today by any chance?" Them: "Yes" Or! Them: "No." Me:"Excellent have a great day!" Why is the responce ever "No!!!!!! Why would you ask what has that got to do with me?!!! I'M CLEARLY HERE TO WATCH A SUPERIOR MOVIE/ NO MOVIE AT ALL HOW DARE YOU COME INTO MY PERSONAL SPHERE AND SPOUT SUCH HEINOUS HATE!!!!!! BE OFF WITH YOU FOUL SCUM." LIke... People get so offened/ confused when I go round letting people know screens are open
buddy. its not that deep I just wanna take ur orders before the film starts..
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell
I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 
So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 
So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 
So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.
Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.
Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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exactly.
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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weighted blanket isn’t enough I need to get put in a panini press and cooked until lightly toasted and golden-brown
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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*Calls out, “Hey, king. Are you single?” to the vaguely humanoid creature lurking at the base of the stairs*
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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That bitch struggles with me.
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 3 years ago
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 4 years ago
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RIP yahoo answers
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 4 years ago
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 4 years ago
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jungkook - run ep. 137
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 4 years ago
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Hey i’m a fashion design student so i have tons and tons of pdfs and docs with basic sewing techniques, pattern how-tos, and resources for fabric and trims. I’ve compiled it all into a shareable folder for anyone who wants to look into sewing and making their own clothing. I’ll be adding to this folder whenever i come across new resources
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/16uhmMb8kE4P_vOSycr6XSa9zpmDijZSd?usp=sharing
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i-am-the-floor-goblin · 4 years ago
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(210411) channie’s room ep. 101
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