i-am-a-hegemony-officer

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Does the Hegemony have any plans for adding some more ship models into their fleets? I'm sure Daud will love seeing an XIV Battlegroup Eradicator

This is actually a really interesting question-- to my understanding, the vast majority of 'new' designs are actually just reclaimed forge blueprints from Domain datavaults, with few truly New hull designs being made in the sector. Hegemony doctrine has remained pretty stable over the last few hundreds of cycles, so I wouldn't expect anything new to be adopted unless radical doctrine shift from one of our opps demands it -- even then, the high admiralty may not adopt those changes until far later.

As for an XIV Eradicator -- the modifications to bring a ship up to the technical operating specs of a battlegroup vessel are Incredibly costly. Trying to redesign an existing ship class to do that would be an undertaking and a half, to say the least, but if you're wealthy enough, maybe you could make it happen on your own?

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Hey it's me again. We got her the socks and we talked her down to just installing 'Linux' on an old data pad no one was using. I think I saw one of the IT people hanging out in there and there were two cups of tea on the workstation. Don't ask me how an AI drinks tea I decided it was easier to just roll with it.

She's increased our colony efficiency by quite a lot and you should expect a higher tribute from us in the next quarter!

-Colony Administrator Graham

Is that a bribe? That sounds like a bribe

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

how do u know about programming socks. where did u learn this

It is my job to know these things

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

HEY ASSHOLE i know you stole that fucking finger from my delivery guy and im gonna make you regret it THATS WHY I FUCKED YOUR WIFE except it turns out i got the wrong comsec profile

anyways when i found your profile i noticed your not married and i was wondering if you wanted to beat each OTHER TO DEATH -- PIRATE LORD COMMANDER PISSBEARD

I don't do fistfights. I could use a break though. Meet me on that abandoned terraforming platform in orbit around Asharu. Bring your favorite pistol, it's a duel.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Okay, serious answer since this seems like a pretty delicate situation.

Comply with its most harmless demands first and delay the rest for as long as feasibly possible. Programming socks can be found on any Tri-tach port boutique, they're the long stripey ones that go up to your thighs.

What exactly are the capabilities of your 'defense grid'? If this is just an industry administration building it shouldn't be too hard to send out a few mercenaries and techies and shut the whole thing down for a bit before removing the core. If this is the whole colony administration building then it's going to be a bit bloodier but if the core is still at the location removing it has to be your highest priority.

As an absolute last resort, you could try contacting the Ministry of Technology Standards and give them a tip about an AI core at this colony. This will get you into extraordinary amounts of legal trouble, so I hope you have the connections and resources to deal with that.

Please be smarter around AI cores. Ludd would be sad

Hey, officer. I accidentally installed an A.I. core into my colonies control board, and now she's demanding "programming socks" and something called "linux" to be installed on our fleet computers? What should I do? We already tried removing her, but before we got close, she just turned on the defense grid and said "try me."

how do you "accidentally" install an AI core into your colony.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Hey, officer. I accidentally installed an A.I. core into my colonies control board, and now she's demanding "programming socks" and something called "linux" to be installed on our fleet computers? What should I do? We already tried removing her, but before we got close, she just turned on the defense grid and said "try me."

how do you "accidentally" install an AI core into your colony.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Been playing Starsector more lately, and Holy Fuck trying to crack Kazeron is a pain. Sure, it's a midline station. But unless you're running a cruiser wall that broadside module just picks apart the fleet. And I run the game at 600 battle size. So I'm able to throw more shit at the problems than most people.

Then again, I guess that's just how star fortresses are in this game. There's a reason they're almost 2m Credits to get.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Map of the planet Jangal, from the game Starsector.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

What are these blue orbs I keep finding while salvaging in the deeper parts of space?

Could be a data core? Tends to be alot of them in the old research labs on the fringes. You should bring it back to the nearest Hegemony base and contact the colony administrator or base commander to arrange its proper return.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Thank you for using Tri-

>PROC INTERRUPT//...QUERY:

so lik,e does th-e heg]emony gi?e vacati◇n days? bc im gett[ing sick of orbiting t&is one [1] jump point for□ver

>PROC RESUME//

-Tachyon Defense Systems™. We wish you a safe and productive day.

Is something wrong with my comm..?

To answer the question, times have been somewhat turbulent, so getting an irregular leave request approved may be difficult, but serving as an Auxiliary gives you both plenty of travel opportunities and a very flexible schedule! You won't get bored.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Good miss if you had to recommend a ship for a starter pilot what would you recommend?

ooc: I'm a garbage flyer anytips?

I'd recommend something of middling weight class, destroyer-sized. Reasoning for this is that piloting a frigate tends to be extremely dangerous if you're careless and haven't developed a good sense of the combat space due to their more fragile hulls. A destroyer will get you good speeds while still being agile enough to escape from dicier situations. My first recommendation is going to be the Hammerhead-class. It's a well-balanced warship that suffers chiefly from a mediocre flux grid. Proving you're good enough in one might even help land a Hegemony commission. My second recommendation is going to be the Shrike-class. It's a fair bit more fragile, and mounts primarily Energy weaponry, but boasts supreme mobility. It's best for chasing down and overwhelming smaller ships, but it's perfectly serviceable as strike craft. It's going to be rough at the start. You're going to make mistakes you won't even notice until it's too late. It's important to understand how and why you made those mistakes, and work to correct your conduct for the future. Take test drives in a combat sim and familiarize yourself with your ship's capabilities, strengths, and weaknesses. (OOC: its been a damn long time since ive actually played starsector so i dont have many piloting tips off the top. Try to not overextend or get surrounded, use your missiles liberally, and remember that venting is preferable to overloading.)

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

browser extension that replaces every instance of "normal" with "hegemonic-ideal"

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

We didn't look around too much. Fleet commander said everything was above board and then we left. Had a real stupid looking smile the whole time though

Sorry about the lack of updates, I got sent to do an inspection on some backwater.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Sorry about the lack of updates, I got sent to do an inspection on some backwater.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

It's so easy to turn your whole life around you know. Become a commissioned Hegemony officer

[i-am-a-hegemony-officer]

Dealing with our far-left antihegemonists has been far easier since we convinced them that we're "sopping wet blorbo bleebus" when we firmly retaliate against dissident elements