hylwsidym

[hylwsidym]

i like him.

i never meant to,

never expected it.

hes just a classmate,

just someone who sits in front of me in class,

someone i’ve shared notes with,

laughed with,

complimented his cologne like it was nothing.

but today,

when i begged him to let me draw on his arm

and saw the way his hazel eyes flickered,

i knew.

i like him.

i used to think it was all about friendship,

the comfort of the quartet we’ve become

always together in class,

never really stepping outside the boundaries.

we don’t talk outside of class,

we don’t hang out,

we don’t get personal.

just joke, gossip, share answers,

and go our separate ways.

simple. safe.

that’s what i told myself.

but today,

something shifted.

when i begged him,

"let me draw on your arm,"

a silly request,

but one i had to make.

i wanted to get closer to him,

to feel that moment of contact,

even if it was just for a second.

at first, he said no.

i was used to it, used to his dismissive laughs,

but i didn’t stop.

i kept asking,

kept nudging him,

and seven rounds of rock-paper-scissors later,

he finally gave in.

i drew a cat —

a simple doodle,

but it wasn’t about the drawing.

it was about his skin beneath my fingers,

the closeness,

the fact that he let me.

that was more than i’d ever expected.

his hazel eyes flickered away from mine,

as they always do,

but today, they caught the light differently.

i noticed it for the first time,

how beautiful they were.

soft, warm,

the kind of eyes you could get lost in.

they implied something i didn’t understand,

something more than just a classmate,

something deeper,

something i could never put into words.

i like him.

but i know better than to say it.

we don’t talk outside of class.

we never have,

and we never will.

hes just a classmate,

just someone who sits in front of me,

someone i share space with,

someone i thought i knew,

but today, i realize i don’t.

i’ve always been more drawn to asians,

that’s always been my type,

my preference.

but here he is,

with messy hair from soccer during lunch,

and hazel eyes that are too pretty for me to ignore.

we don’t talk outside of class,

and i know i can never change that.

he’ll never know how i feel.

i’ll never tell him,

because we’re just friends.

we’re just the quartet,

sharing answers,

laughing at inside jokes,

never stepping outside the classroom walls.

and i’ll just keep pretending it doesn’t matter.

i can already hear it in the back of my mind

the way our friends ship me with the one sitting next to him,

the one that matches my freak a bit too well,

who always ends up being the focus of their jokes,

the one everyone assumes i’ll end up with.

they never expect me to be with him,

not with the way things are,

not with how i should be with the person beside him.

i can already hear them laughing about it —

the two of us, the academic duo.

but it’s never been like that for me,

and maybe it never will be.

they’ll never see what i see when i look at him.

not that it matters.

but deep down, i know:

i like him.

and maybe that’s the biggest secret i’ll ever keep.

[hylwsidym]

crush 1.0

(crush 1.0 doesn't mean i have more than one crush okay....)so imma say it here cause no one i know will sees it...

so like today i was walking on the corridor while it is recess time and then my crush just literally walking towards me, then my hearts is like (ykwim) so i try to kinda talk to him while i'm so nervous and his face was so close to me it's like 5cm!!! i was like what the heckkk bro... okay im sorry... i was screaming when i am writing this post hh

[hylwsidym]

heartstopper🤎

[hylwsidym]

anyone obsessed w sonny angels here? they are literally so cute!!! im meltingggggg

[hylwsidym]

not gonna put a title cuz i might delete this

some random thoughts 10pm (i have an essay due tmr)

the first sign was how quiet the apartment had become. once, it was filled with laughter, shared moments, and the kind of silence that was comfortable—warm, even. now, the quiet was different, tense and cold, like an empty stage after the audience has left. and in a way, that’s what your relationship had become—an empty performance, only the echoes of what once was.

you sit on the floor, back against the couch, your knees pulled to your chest. your phone lies face down on the coffee table, the buzzing stopped hours ago. it was easier that way, not looking at it, pretending for a moment that you could be okay without constantly waiting for a message that might never come. it’s been two days since you last heard from him. two days of silence that stretch on longer than any tour, longer than any distance he’s traveled for work.

he used to text you between rehearsals, sometimes sneaking in a call late at night when his members were asleep. you lived for those moments—the stolen seconds where it was just him and you, no cameras, no screaming fans, no demands. just him, the boy you fell in love with before the fame swallowed him whole. back when his smile was yours, not something for the world to claim.

but somewhere along the way, those calls became fewer, the messages shorter, until eventually they stopped altogether. now, you were lucky if he spared a moment to leave you a quick “i’m busy” before disappearing for days.

the door clicks open, and for the first time in what feels like forever, he's home. your eyes lift, your heart torn between relief and the sharp ache of knowing that even when he’s here, he’s not really here. his shoulders are slouched, exhaustion clinging to him like a second skin, and he barely meets your gaze.

"hey," he mumbles, dropping his bag by the door.

"hey," you reply, but the word feels foreign on your tongue, like you're speaking to a stranger.

he moves past you, heading straight for the bedroom, his presence like a ghost passing through the space. no hug, no kiss, no acknowledgment that it’s been days since you’ve seen each other. once upon a time, he would have scooped you into his arms, kissed you like he hadn’t seen you in years, even if it had only been hours. but now, it’s like he’s too tired to care.

you follow him into the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe as he collapses onto the bed, his back to you. the weight of the silence between you is unbearable. it’s not just physical distance anymore; it’s emotional. it’s the way he doesn’t ask how you are, doesn’t even notice the tear-stained pillowcases from the nights you spent crying yourself to sleep, wondering if this is what love is supposed to feel like—waiting, always waiting.

"are you okay?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, afraid that if you speak too loudly, it’ll shatter whatever fragile connection remains between you.

"just tired," he mutters, not even turning to face you.

you nod, though he doesn’t see it. tired. he’s always tired now. tired from the schedules, the rehearsals, the interviews. tired from the weight of being an idol. and you wonder, how long before he’s tired of you too? or maybe that’s already happened.

"i don’t know how much longer i can do this," you say softly, more to yourself than to him, but he hears it.

his body tenses, and for a moment, you think he’s going to get up, going to say something that will make it all better. but he doesn’t. instead, he sighs, a long, drawn-out breath that feels like the beginning of the end.

"i’m trying, you know that," he says, his voice low, defeated.

"are you?" the words slip out before you can stop them, sharp and cutting in the quiet room. "because it doesn’t feel like it anymore. it feels like… like you’ve already given up."

he finally turns to face you, and for the first time in a long time, you see him—the boy behind the idol. and he looks lost, more lost than you’ve ever seen him. there’s pain in his eyes, but it’s different from yours. his pain isn’t from the distance or the silence. it’s from the guilt, the crushing weight of knowing he’s hurting you, but not knowing how to stop.

"i don’t know what to do," he admits, his voice breaking. "i don’t know how to make it better. everything’s moving so fast, and i… i don’t know how to keep up with it all."

"you don’t have to keep up with everything," you whisper, stepping closer, your hands trembling as you reach out to touch him, but you stop yourself before your fingers brush his skin. "you just have to be here. with me."

he closes his eyes, as if he can’t bear to look at you. "but i can’t. not the way you need me to be. and that’s the problem, isn’t it?"

you don’t answer. you don’t have to. because he’s right. it is the problem. you need him, and he’s slipping further and further away with each passing day, until you’re left holding onto memories that feel like they belong to someone else. the boy you fell in love with is still there, somewhere, but the world has taken so much from him, and now there’s barely anything left for you.

"maybe…" his voice cracks, and you feel your heart shatter at the sound of it. "maybe we’re both holding onto something that isn’t there anymore."

you shake your head, tears blurring your vision. "don’t say that. please."

he looks at you, eyes red and tired, and in that moment, you both know. this isn’t the end of the conversation, but it’s the beginning of something you’ve both been too afraid to face.

the truth is, love isn’t always enough. not when the world demands so much from him, and all you can do is stand on the sidelines, watching as he gives everything he has to everyone but you.

and for the first time, you wonder if maybe it’s time to stop waiting

--------

| andteam; koga yudai, nicholas wang, nakakita yuma

| enhypen; park jongseong, yang jungwon, park sunghoon

| boynextdoor; myung jaehyung, kim woonhak

| stray kids; han jisung, bang chan, hwang hyunjin

[hylwsidym]

lia’s all time fav!

[hylwsidym]

SEUNGCHEOLL MY LORD HES SO FREAKING FINEEE HELP!!!!

[hylwsidym]

I MEANT #4 w taesan my bad 😞😞

hello anonie~ this lil drabble is inspired by this pin here . thanks for requesting!

wrapped in you; boynextdoor taesan

prompt #4 "is that my fav hoodie that is on you right now?" (request)

pairing; bf!taesan x reader

wc; 0.8k

pls reblog and like if you liked the drabble!

looking for moots <3

cheers,, hannah

kpop drabble masterlist | prompt list #1

it had been a long day. the kind of day where all you wanted to do was come home, curl up on the couch, and forget the world outside. you toss your bag onto the floor by the door, kicking off your shoes with a sigh of relief. everything just felt so draining lately. you wanted something (anything) to make you feel comforted.

thats when your eyes land on the half-open closet door in the bedroom, and an idea flickers to life. taesan and you had been together long enough that borrowing each other’s clothes wasnt really a big deal. but tonight, the idea of slipping into one of his hoodies sounds like exactly what you need.

without much thought, you make your way over to the closet and rummage through the neatly hung rows of shirts and sweaters. his scent—something warm and familiar, a mix of burst of tangerine zest, fresh and sharp, softened by the subtle sweetness of blooming jasmine and the subtle freshness of laundry detergent—lingers in the air, wrapping around you like an embrace. finally, your fingers brush against the hoodie. the one you’ve seen him wear countless times, the one that always makes him look so effortlessly cozy and handsome.

its a little ridiculous how soft it is when you pull it off the hanger and slip it over your head. the fabric is worn in all the right places, loose and comfortable, falling to mid-thigh on you. you tug at the oversized sleeves, which completely swallow your hands, and take a deep breath. the scent of him fills your senses, immediately making you feel a little lighter. its like wearing a piece of him, and somehow, that makes everything just a little bit better.

you walk into the living room and collapse onto the couch, pulling your knees up and letting yourself sink into the cushions. the blackish hoodie pools around you, and for the first time today, you actually feel… content. safe, even. like nothing could touch you here, wrapped up in his warmth.

just as you're starting to relax, you hear the soft click of the front door unlocking. your heart skips a beat. he’s home.

the door swings open, and you can hear the familiar shuffle of his footsteps as he steps inside, closing the door behind him, soft thud of his bag falling onto the counter. you glance over your shoulder to see him standing in the entryway, his eyes scanning the room until they land on you.

he freezes for a moment, his eyes widening slightly as he takes in the sight of you curled up in his hoodie, looking impossibly small and cozy. then, a slow grin starts to spread across his face.

"is that my hoodie you’re wearing?" he asks, amusement clear in his voice.

you try to play it cool, tugging at the sleeves as if it’s no big deal. "maybe…"

he lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as he walks over to you. there’s a gleam in his eyes, something playful yet tender, and you can feel your heart flutter just a little as he sits down beside you on the couch.

"ill give it back later," you mumble, though even as you say it, you’re not entirely sure you mean it. the hoodie feels like a piece of him, and you’ve grown a little too attached to the way it makes you feel.

he smirks, clearly picking up on your reluctance. "you dont have to," he murmurs, his voice dropping to that soft, teasing tone that always makes your heart race. "it looks perfect on you."

you look up at him, meeting his gaze, and your breath catches in your throat. there’s something about the way he’s looking at you, so warm and affectionate, like you’re the only thing in the world that matters to him right now. it makes your chest ache in the sweetest way.

your cheeks flush, and you’re grateful for the oversized sleeves that let you hide your hands as you bury your face against his shoulder. "you’re too much," you mumble, your voice muffled by the fabric of the hoodie.

he laughs softly, his arm tightening around you as he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "i know," he says, his voice a warm whisper against your hair. "but you love me anyway."

you can’t help but smile, the tension of the day melting away in his embrace. "yeah," you admit quietly, letting yourself sink deeper into the warmth of his hoodie and him. "i really do."

he stays silent for a moment, his hand gently tracing your arm through the fabric, before he leans back a little to look at you again. his expression softens, and his smile turns almost shy. “you know… you can keep it. i mean, if it makes you feel better. ill just have to find excuses to hold you more often.”

you laugh, your heart feeling lighter than it has all day. “fine, deal,” you whisper, feeling the warmth of his smile as you lean in, your forehead resting against his. for now, nothing else mattered. just the two of you, wrapped up in the comfort of each other.

thank you anon for this request! i really liked writing this heheh it gave me so much comfort!

[hylwsidym]

all about me!

things u will know about me

hello guys! welcome to my blog <3 i am lia or even u can call me hyl - i’m 07z!

so this blog is all about my delusional over some kpop men or like my crush hh and some of my routine or daily stuffs! and i am also interested in sonny angels!

feel free to chat w me!

for kpop- i mainly stands for zb1 svt bnd or evnne! (so maybe they will always appear in this blog hh)

for vlog or routines- i will try my best to upload maybe vids but usually i will upload some pics or text to share or do a daily for myself (u can also share me about your life!

ask and req- open!! feel free to share w me about some of your secret or dm me if u want hh

hope to know yall! <33