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[hwkeyewrites-blog]

The Soldier

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: This is the only way Bucky’ll live. Words: 1,288 Warnings: language Notes: HELLO IT ME HWKEYEWRITES ANYWAY this was a request from that blog but yeah idk enjoy frens 

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NEW BLOG

yooooo okay so basically I can’t log in on my laptop like at all soooooo I made a new blog: http://sgtbbvrnes.tumblr.com

prolly gonna be posting a thing later so yeah follow it!! or don’t, I mean it’s your feed :’)

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they tell you to give up. they tell you that he’s past saving, that there isn’t anything left for you to do. they tell you that the man that you love is gone. they tell you that he is no longer himself and that he doesn’t know you, that he probably never will remember you again, for it had taken months upon months for him to even remember the blond-haired lad that he’d grown up with.

hell— you’re pretty sure if the universe could speak, it’d tell you that the man you love is lost forever.

but you’ve never been one to listen. you’ve always been stubborn, even steve said that you and bucky had that in common— he’d said so with a shake of his head but his lips curved up into a smile and his eyes shining like there were stars trapped in them, dancing and dancing around.

even now, with natasha and maria hill and nick fury all telling you that you might as well just give up now, you can’t.

not when the only reason bucky’s like this right now is because of you. because you were the one to say those words. because you were the one to trigger him back into the weapon he was crafted into, like he wasn’t a goddamn human being. because you were the one to flip the switch that turned him from bucky barnes to the winter soldier.

so it’s your fault. it’s your fault that he’s restrained and not saying anything and glaring at the security cameras like he knows that everyone’s got their main focus on him. on the winter soldier.

“you did what you had to do,” natasha comforts you, tone placating but nearly emotionless, as she does.

“he’s dangerous.” maria hill barely looks away from her files as she speaks.

“i understand why you did it, and i don’t blame you.” steve says as he puts a hand on your shoulder, but his eyes are so dim and his brows are furrowed and he’s lost his best friend all over again. because of you.

“i do,” you say, quiet, but they all hear you. you get to your feet, looking at them individually before you’re focusing your eyes onto steve. “i’m not giving up. i’ll bring him back.”

“he’s too far gone.”

“i don’t care.”

“he’ll attack you,” natasha has her eyebrow raised, her tone like she’s telling you something that’s a known fact.

“i don’t care,” you repeat, advancing towards the door.

“you walk out that door and—” fury starts, but you wave him off, turning on your heel to look at him.

“you’ll have me arrested?” you very nearly mock.

everyone in the room looks at you like you’ve gone insane. maybe you have. you wouldn’t know. all you do know is that the man that you’re in love with, the man that protected you even whilst not himself— he’s in the situation that he is now because of you. he saved you.

and now it’s your turn to save him.

so you clench your jaw, tilting your face upwards slightly in an almost arrogant move. (it’s definitely an arrogant move.)

“i don’t care. he’s in there because of me. he’s… he’s like this because of me. i’m going to get him back. watch me save him.”

[hwkeyewrites-blog]

Are you okay? Havent seen any posts from you in. Long time. Hope all is well!

hiiii hahaha been super busy with school and I still can’t log in on my laptop and I haven’t gotten round to writing the drabbles (bc I suck as a human being) but yeah I’m good (ish) thanks for asking fam :~)

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Prompt: Winter soldier sent on a mission to bring y/n in (for whatever, you make that up, she could be a mutant or smthing idk) and after he does they form a bond of some sorts?¿ and after shield goes down they both escape ((separately)) and then they find each other? make it just as sad/angsty as all the others please and thank you

no promises but I’ll add it to the listtttt

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HAVE A GREAT FUCKIN DAY (sorry i havent been on for a while! been busy)

thanks fam hope you had/have a good day 👻

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Hiiii, I have discovered your blog and I have read almost everything, it's precious, your writing, everything *-*, there would be any chance that you are at least thinking of doing another part for The Edge of the Night and for I Wish (It was me)? No pressure, love you anyways, you're the best, mate

ahh thank you fren but I’m afraid I’m not gonna write a part two for either of those!! I’m soz

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I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE PHYSICAL FORCE I AM ALSO NOT AFRAID TO ROW A SAMPAN ALL THE WAY TO SINGAPORE SO YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS IN LINE BEFORE YOU GET YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU ONE MORE TAG LIKE THAT AND ILL DRAG YOU THROUGH HELL BY YOUR PONYTAIL

COME ON BRO ROW YOUR SAMPAN YOU’LL PROBABLY GET A FINE AND WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING I EVEN HAVE HAIR LONG ENOUGH TO TIE INTO A PONYTAIL HMM

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YOU ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF DOWN IN YOUR TAGS AND THIS MAKES ME ANGRY BECAUSE WE ARE SOUTH EAST ASIAN BROS AND BROS TAKE NO SHIT FROM OTHER BROS SO QUIT IT BEFORE I COME OVER TO SINGAPORE AND BEAT YOUR ASS INTO NEXT WEEK.

BUT LIKE WHAT I WRITE IS NONSENSE MAN C'MON DON’T LIE TO URSELF FAM IT’S ALL SO MEH

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What you wrote for 11 which vee requested honestly gave me so many feels, why must you make me a ball of emotion... It was so good, I need more

ahahaha thank you fren I’m glad you liked it 🌚

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3/13 for bucky

He’s been unconscious for three days and it hurts to see him like that. He heals faster than average people, but he’s not invincible.

So he’s healing, asleep, and he looks peaceful, but he looks like he’s in pain, all at the same time.

You stay by his side, only ever leaving for the toilet and a shower and cups of coffee. You talk to him, too, because they say it’ll help, but you think it’s causing more damage to you than it benefits him because this is everything that you didn’t say whilst he was conscious and you don’t know if he’ll wake up even though they all say that he will.

“I’m so fucking in love with you and it scares me so much because I know that you love me too and this’ll end with both of us getting hurt and maybe I shouldn’t love you—” is the last thing you remember saying before you’d left the room in a panic of realisation about what you’d finally admitted to yourself.

You come back to blue eyes looking back at you from a hospital bed and you halt in your tracks.

He licks at his lips, “You’re still here,” he sounds surprised.

You can’t help the frown that comes across your face as you make your way back to his bedside.

“Did you really think I’d leave?” you ask, voice soft as you peer at him, your fingers brushing through his hair. It’s greasy and fairly disgusting, but you think you can’t bare to not touch him in some way.

Bucky shrugs, as best as he can with his broken… everything. “Didn’t see why you’d stay.”

He looks like he wants to add something else, and it makes a part of you thinks that he heard what you said before you left the room.

“How about the fact that I love you?” you retort anyway, raising a brow.

He looks back at you, eyes wide and so blue and he looks like he thinks he’s heard you wrong. It’s the first time you’ve said it to him, and he knows that, too.

He’s said it to you before and all you’d done was kiss him because you were scared and you didn’t want to say it even though you knew damn well that you were falling in love with this beautiful broken man.

“I do. Love you.” You say again, never looking away.

Bucky licks at his lips, parting them to say something, but then seemingly deciding against it. He clears his throat, darting his eyes away, his metal fingers messing with threads of the hospital blanket.

“Why now?” His voice is gruff, but weak.

Your fingers pause, then you shrug a shoulder. “I think I always have. I just— I never said it because… I was scared. But then this happened and—” you trail your fingers from his hair to his metal arm.

His eyes follow your movement, then he’s looking back at you, but it’s your turn to look away.

“I thought I lost you, Buck,” you breathe out. “You could’ve died, and you would’ve died thinking that— that I—” you can’t finish your sentence.

His palm turns and then his fingers are slipping in between yours. They’re cold, but you feel a warmth in your chest that you think you never want to get rid of.

“You’re not going to lose me,” he says it like a promise, and you look back at him to see him looking back so intently at you.

You don’t believe him. Because you know something’ll happen and you’ll lose him, especially in this line of work.

You must look a little disbelieving, because he presses on: “You’re not. I swear. I’m not going anywhere.”

You get off the chair you’re sat on, pressing your lips onto his forehead. “I love you,” you whisper against his skin.

“I love you so, so, so much more.” Bucky whispers back, and you think: maybe we’re all still meant to lose the ones we love—

But you’ll fight for him till then.

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11 ::)))))))))))

There is only one thing in his mind— to finish his mission. And when he does that, he finally comes back to himself, and he’s standing in the middle of the room surrounded by bloodied bodies in slumped positions on the ground. He can feel something wet dripping down the side of his face, and his hands are each holding onto the handle of something, but the one thing he can focus on is—

Her. With the wide eyes and blood smeared all over her and her hand covering her mouth, barely even masking how horrified she looks.

He looks around again, and then he realises what he’s done. He’s… killed them. Everyone. Fucking everyone. Even the ones that didn’t need to die. He killed them all.

Bucky looks back at her, and she’s already staring back at him, chest heaving up and down like she can’t get enough air into her lungs.

He staggers back a step and drops the knives in his hands. Her hand slowly lowers, taking a minuscule step forward. “Buck—”

“No, don't— don’t come near me.”

Because he’s a monster. He’s a murderer. He’s… he’s let her down with how he’d promised over and over about how he wouldn’t ever kill again, because he never wanted to in the first place, and she’d trusted him to do the right thing and not kill anyone anymore, but—

He didn’t have a choice. They were going to hurt her. They were going to kill her. They were going to—

He had to save her.

Bucky looks back at her. Her eyes are still wide and bright and there is a stray tear dripping out of the corner of her eye. She looks scared. (Of him.)

“I had to— I’m sorry, I didn't— They were going to—” he can’t get a proper sentence out.

“It’s okay,” her lips move, forming the words but no sound comes out. She tries to take another step forward, but it’s shaky and hesitant, like she doesn’t really want to, so he takes a step back.

“You’re afraid of me,” he whispers more to himself than anything, but it echoes. She’s afraid of him. The one other thing he vowed he would never let happen. She’s afraid of him. “I broke my promise.”

“You… did what you had to.”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” she says, her voice still so soft, and placating, almost.

“You shouldn’t. I wouldn’t,” he breathes out, taking another step back. And another. “I let you down. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?”

She looks like she’s going to say something else, but he turns on his heel and he runs. He runs and runs and runs because if she’s afraid of him, if the one person who makes his life worth living is afraid of him, then what’s the fucking point in living anymore?

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I have the attention span of a goldfish lmao I'll write the rest tmrw I'm soz

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can you recommend me some good avengers writer and fics? for any character? i'm in a mood and i can't find any good ones and i've read through yours too many times. xx

I don’t rly read imagines/fics ahhh I’m sorry fren!! I only know that @squishybucky and @writingbarnes write good things so check them out?

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2 w Steve?💞

He’s ignoring you. He’s actually legitimately ignoring you and it fucking sucks because the only other thing he does is look at you with that goddamn glint of disappointment in his eyes and then look away a second later.

(Having someone you care about so deeply treat you like that… it feels like you’re being ripped apart from the inside.)

You concede— you’d done a stupid thing. You put yourself in harm’s way and you got hurt, even though Steve had told you to get to somewhere safe because he couldn’t (he wouldn’t) see you get hurt.

But you didn’t listen to him and you went out in the battlefield despite not being an agent and you got caught in the crossfire. You spent a week in the hospital.

A week that Steve spent with you by your bedside. You were out of it—loopy and on drugs—so you didn’t speak much, but you know that he never left. He spoke to you sometimes but you barely heard it because the doctors were pumping you with so much medication that it felt like everything was under water.

Then you got discharged and you were finally okay enough to walk around and look for Steve and thank him for staying with you all the while, but also ask how come he wasn’t there when you woke up the day you were to be discharged.

Only— he was completely ignoring you. So—

“Wha—” is what he greets you with when he opens the door to his apartment.

“This is an apology pizza. Please take it or I will start crying right here.” And you probably will, because there is nothing that you hate more than being ignored, being treated like you’re fucking invisible.

“Should you even be carrying that?” Steve’s frowning and his mouth is down turned as he reaches out for the box of pizza that was, in fact, putting a strain on your ribs and arm.

“Probably not, but,” you shrug. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

Steve rolls his eyes, stepping aside to let you in. “Do you even—” he starts, then he shakes his head. You eye him, and he sighs. “Do you even know what you’re apologising for? Or are you just— is this you trying to get me to stop being mad?”

“I’m sorry for… being stupid.”

He looks like he’s expecting more, but you don’t know what else to say, so you stay silent. Steve sighs— that damn sigh that makes people feel like they’ve disappointed America.

“I’m mad because—” he starts, voice hard, “— you weren’t thinking. You didn’t think before you acted.” His voice has gone soft and it cracks and he’s avoiding eye contact. “You didn’t care about yourself getting hurt, about what it would— about— if you—”

“If I…?” you prompt gently, taking a step closer.

“If you died out there. You didn’t think. What it would do to… me. If you died.”

“I’m… sorry.”

“That…” he shakes his head, sighing. “That doesn’t make this better. At all.”

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For the prompt thingy, would you write reader inserts?

yeah dude

[hwkeyewrites-blog]

Writing Prompts:

Send me two characters and I’ll write you a drabble: 

1. ”Don’t apologize. That’s not the point. Did you mean it?”

2. ”This is an apology pizza. Please take it or I will start crying right here.”

3. ”I thought I lost you”

4. ”Okay, when you say love, do you mean love as in like loving pizza or as in love, love?”

5. ”They don’t like dogs. It wasn’t going to work out.”

6. ”The hills are alive, with the sound of bullshit.”

7. “I feel like I’m losing control.”

8. “Okay, am I drunk or did you really just say that?”

9. “I’m too sober for this shit.”

10. “God, I missed you.”

11. “I let you down. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?”

12. “Okay, the blood isn’t mind, calm down.”

13. “Did you really think I’d leave?”

14. “There’s a difference between being brave and being stupid.”

15. “You’re proud of me?”

16. “If love was easy, we’d be writing songs about better things. Like pizza.”

17. “Is this supposed to be this hard?”

18. “They’re going to hate me.”

19. “Like I’d choose the laws of physics over you.”

20. “Did you just blue shell me!?”