hunicouture

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my new years resolution is to be okay with being ugly atp theres no use in worrying about something i cannot fix #thinksmarternotharder

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"To the religous, my love is justification for their hatred. to the religious, a god that neglects and kills is kind. Which begs the question , how truly kind and loving is a father that burns his children for loving?, if god loves me so much, why would he burden me with a love worse than murder?"

- excerpt from my journal, 12/19/24. 

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No Better Than the Fallen One

Beneath the moon’s indifferent gaze,

A human walked through twisted haze.

Their heart, once pure, began to stray,

Enticed by shadows on the way.

A whisper rose, a tempting call,

A serpent’s hiss in Eden’s hall.

“Take what you will, defy the throne,

Why serve a crown? Be your own.”

The spark of pride, the serpent’s kin,

Lit fire to the soul within.

No better than the starry flame

Who sought the heavens, claimed a name.

With every step, the soul did slide,

A mirror of the angel’s pride.

Eyes that hungered, hands that stole,

The weight of sin devoured the soul.

Once clad in light, now steeped in night,

A rebel born of fleeting might.

Their cries rang hollow, sharp, and stark,

As heaven turned and left its mark.

And so they fell, no wings to break,

The earth their home, the fire their wake.

Not angel, not divine, but man—

A shadow of the timeless plan.

For what are we, if not the same,

Bound by pride and cursed by flame?

No better than the one who fell,

A human heart can build its hell.

-Aurelian

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Faith in Fragments

Born into verses, bound by a creed,

Where love felt like a heresy, a seed

Too wild, too wrong, too out of place,

I wore their teachings like a mask on my face.

A child they named, a daughter they’d raise,

But my truth whispered louder than their praise.

A son I became, though their love turned cold,

In their eyes, my salvation was something to hold.

Their God is a gatekeeper, stern and severe,

But I search for divinity somewhere near.

Could grace still exist in a love they despise,

Or is their heaven a place built on lies?

I see Christ in the outcast, the broken, the poor,

Not in the locks they place on the door.

I hear Him in whispers of love without shame,

Not in their chants that reduce me to blame.

Yet, their words weigh heavy, their verses like chains,

Binding my heart to inherited pains.

If I am a sinner, then so is my soul,

For seeking a love that feels like I’m whole.

But what if their faith has misheard the divine?

What if their God sees this heart of mine?

A man who loves men, yet still seeks the light,

Wrestling with shadows in the depths of the night.

I won’t pray for forgiveness for who I became,

For the love I have found, for shedding their shame.

If their heaven excludes me, I’ll build my own,

Where love is the gospel and kindness the throne.

Faith may be fractured, but it’s still mine to keep,

In the quiet of doubt, where questions run deep.

For in the chaos of searching, I find something true—

A God who is love, and who loves me too.

-Aurelian

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read literature. be present. make love. make tea. write a poem. cry. watch a sappy movie that makes you want to throw things at it. paint your nails. cook something. call your best friend. learn an instrument. wonder. take a bath. go for a walk. lie down on the grass. listen to the entirety of ur favorite album from 2016. take pics of sunsets. ponder. shamelessly dance in your room. curl up on your bed. make endless wishes to the stars twinkling in the midnight sky. think about nothing. think about everything. think about things so hard that you barely remember what happened moments ago and why you’re feeling the way you do

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I have the most urgent need to be insufferably over-educated. Like i need to read literally every book ever written.

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earl grey they could never make me hate you

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Blog intro ♡

@hunimilletea on wattpad & ao3 🦌

@hunicouture on insta

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Just a teen girl trying to immortalize her corny ass writing on the internet 💋

aromantic 15 yr lesbian

Likes! ♡

• writing

• reading (getting out of a slump (:_;) )

• fashion

• oddities

• films! (im trying to get into them)

• greek mythology

• animals

• sweet food

• art

Media ♡

• Arcane

• Abbott elementary

• Bojack Horseman

• Bones n all

• Little women

• Bottoms

• But im a cheerleader

• Dead poets society

• Frankenstein (mary shelly)

• Carmilla

• Pokemon

I plan on using this for just misc writing ♡ i am open to mutuals!

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"match my freak!" match my sweetness. match my benevolence. match my empathy. match my ability to feel emotions so deeply it tears me apart from the inside out

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can someone just be obsessed with me and text me all the time and give me compliments and

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the amount of people who have been posting about tlou this week is insane. we’re only 2 days into the global strike (2/18-2/24) and already there are people posting fanfics?? this is a week we should use to boycott, protest, call our reps, sign petitions, etc. the literal BARE MINIMUM is to stay off of social media and/or refrain from posting about anything other than palestine. and you can’t even do that? you’re so obsessed with getting notes and followers that you can’t avoid posting fanfiction for one week???

especially about a game made by a zionist. it’s so incredibly easy to not reblog/post about anything other than the genocide. instead of posting fanfics this week, USE YOUR PLATFORM, EDUCATE YOURSELF, SIGN AND SHARE PETITIONS, BOYCOTT ZIONIST COMPANIES. it will cost you nothing.

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Essay on the relationship between goth and grunge

Goth is a music based subculture created in the 80s. Pioneered by bands such as Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Cure, it is a subculture with a convoluted history and tumultuous developments. Its aesthetic, sonic and lifestyle components being influenced primarily by horror films, avant garde art, music, cinema and literature, campy b movies, glam rock, punk, old Hollywood and classic literature, it has been among the most surviving counterculture amongst others of the same era, especially among teens and adults. It has survived, and continues to struggle against, numerous misconceptions and stereotypes by the media, perverted men and posers deliberately warping the scene to their advantage due to the efforts of those among the scene. It has clearly defined values and characteristics of those who choose to participate in the scene, that revolve around clubbing, social participation, seeing and being seen, political and cultural conscientiousness, creativity, insular tastes in media and hobbies and overall can be seen as a means of self help and building of one’s identity.

Grunge, on the other hand, at first seems the radical opposite.

Grunge, also a music based subculture, was created in Seattle in the 90s, although there is evidence to support that grunge type sounds have been around prior to the 90s in the form of bands such as Flipper and Green River. Nevertheless, grunge was popularized by bands such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice In Chains, becoming huge throughout the beginning to the middle of the decade. Amongst the members of Gen X who participated in the scene, the unfashion and sonic elements of grunge was influenced by feelings of directionless and lack of hope for the future, as the workforce at the time was still dominated by boomers who refused to leave space for Gen X. These historical components can be seen the deliberately slovenly fashion of grunge adherents in the form of flannel shirts, t shirts and ripped jeans, many Nirvana lyrics being purposely directionless to represent such feelings by Kurt Cobain, and an overall reclaiming of the stigma of poverty to combat the material excessiveness of the 80s. Grunge, as a sound, varies from the punk sounds of Mudhoney, alternative rock such as Nirvana, sludgy metal in the form of The Melvins, Soundgarden and Alice In Chains to an evenly sounded Mother Love Bone, but can be best described as a mix between Punk and Metal.

According to many goths and punks around at grunge’s rise to popularity, grunge was an especially disliked scene, due to the punks feelings of many grunge kids being the same individuals who bullied and ostracized the alternative crowd of the 80s, and would have done the same to Kurt Cobain had he never became famous, along with many goths and punks disliking the toxic masculinity displayed by grunge adherents in fashion and behavior, especially in regards to many hair metal bands going in a grunge direction.

Grunge has been documented and dissected, much to the dismay of those involved, since the beginning. The most famous example of this phenomenon is Marc Jacobs Perry Ellis fashion “grunge” runway of 1992-1993, reportedly so disliked it was burned by Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, along with causing Jacobs to be fired by Perry Ellis, due to an increasing concern of the commercialization of grunge that it never really recovered from to this day, another stark contrast it has from goth. If you look up grunge now on the internet, you will find a warped idea of grunge in the form of expensive fast fashion brands and clothing, Instagram accounts featuring hyper sexualized depictions of vaguely alternative women and the remaining devotees of true grunge culture in the form of old men and young people alike on the internet posting of bands like Nirvana.

At first glance, especially looking at the masculine sides of grunge, that goth and grunge are inherently incompatible, and due to grunge’s popularity eating at the goth scenes previous dominance in youth culture of yesteryear. But, I would like to offer a different argument from an angle no one has quite considered. The feminine elements of grunge.

Kinderwhore, is a variant of grunge fashion worn by women in grunge bands and within grunge scenes that was created by Kat Bjelland of Babes in Toyland and popularized by Courtney Love.

Where exactly Kinderwhore gets its name is from journalist Everett True, during an interview with Kurt Cobain and Courtney love. The fashion revolves around purposely inflating traditional, girlish fashions to cartoonish levels, and then subverting them via aggressive, masculine behavior to avoid potential insecurities. Meaning, many women in grunge bands who dressed kinderwhore would always be as aggressive on stage as the men, oftentimes singing feminist lyrics.

The fashion itself revolves around babydoll dresses, slip dresses and Mary janes or combat boots, along with ripped tights, chokers, leather jackets, cardigans and dresses with lace details or Peter Pan collars.

Kinderwhore is related to riot grrl, which is a subset of punk that was underground in the 90s in contrast to grunge, but some within the grunge scene, especially Courtney Love, rejected and denied her work being riot grrl in the first place. If one sees riot grrls middle class origins, white feminism, exclusionary behavior towards trans women, and superficial lyrical and social attitudes, it’s easy to see why many within punk and grunge scenes would want to distance themselves from it. That being said, riot grrls only contribution worth noting to punk was it’s push towards inclusiveness to women due to punk growing increasingly misogynistic and unsafe for women in the 80s, and its efforts have done the most to make punk a better space for women.

What attracts many goths to goth fashion is a deliberate subversion of gender and gender roles in the form of its visuals. Many goths, men and women, would both wear makeup and dress masculine or feminine as they desired, especially due to goth’s acceptance of those deemed “different” by broader society. With keeping in mind to Kinderwhore, a fashion style that also revolves around subverting gender expectations, it is to be expected that among women of goth and grunge, a meeting was destined to take place. Among the women of 90s goth, it was common for them to combine goth fashion with kinderwhore looks.

In the 90s new wave bands such as Strawberry Switchblade, and deathrock bands such as Cinema Strange have experimented with Kindergoth (kinderwhore + goth) looks, that ultimately led designers such as Anna Sui sending her team to scout goth clubs to take inspiration for designs for future garments that would oftentimes be out of reach for many goths due to lack of affordability for the working class individuals in the scene.

With all these examples in terms of visuals, goth and grunge inspired looks is a feasible venture provided it is put under feminine lenses. Many attempts have been made by those who understand neither scene to create a “grunge goth” hybrid, as seen in many online accounts and opportunistic business ventures by outsiders, but a true grunge goth fusion would combine goth fashion with the ever subversive kinderwhore fashion, its legacy seen in many online aesthetics including the Morute aesthetic, a sister aesthetic subculture used primarily as a means of coping with childhood trauma via the means of girlish femininity combined with grunge and American gothic encapsulated by the works of Nicole Dollanganger and an assortment of women photographers on tumblr and beyond.

Sonically, there can be a case for similarities between goth and grunge. Both use a distorted bass, use vocals that howl and scream and punk like guitars. With these similarities in mind, I believe it is feasible for a grunge/deathrock hybrid band to exist, but as of this writing I cannot find a band that has done this. Perhaps some day.

Sources:

Some wear leather some wear lace by Andi Harriman

https://youtu.be/peEUXhCY8lY by Angela Benedict and the comments cited

My dad, a true grunger :)

Various accounts from old punks on Reddit on r/punk

Marc Jacobs’s Perry Ellis Grunge Show: The Collection That Sent a Electric Shock Through '90s Fashion | Vogue

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Anime inspired makeup ~☆~

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need more children of aphrodite content that isn’t mysogynistic as fuck

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i need a dorky gf to kiss and fluster

like ahhh the idea of kissing them just to see them blush and stumble over their words

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