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✧₊⁺ day 15 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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just like yesterday! more character work, working out, skincare, and binging daredevil. matt murdock remains iconic. i should be getting some actual schoolwork done tomorrow, so that’s fun.

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[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 14 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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auditioned for my local youth sinfonia, and i got in!! so that’s great, and i’m very excited. i worked out for about an hour, too, all while watching “daredevil.” i’m so normal about matt murdock i swear. anyways.

i also finished my rudimentary work for kitri! i’m very happy with her. she’s a disaster in heart-shaped sunglasses. i love her so much.

over the course of the day, i listened to no less than 3 video essays, all over an hour at least (my favorite of which being the 2-hour-long “the ‘author’ of my immortal emailed me, and then it got worse”). thank you, ms. sarah z, for your wonderful content!!

overall, not too productive, but a very fun day. i might have overeaten, but hey, i exercised until my stomach hurt, so that counts for something, right?

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 13 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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same as yesterday! did skincare, worked out, and practiced the viola for an hour and a half. my fingers hurt like hell. i wish they would just develop callouses already and be done with it.

productivity’s at it’s height right now, with more ideas than ever coming to kitri’s story. i'm glad!

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 12 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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today, i did my skincare and worked out for 45 minutes. i also listened to a video essay and read a little more of “the goldfinch.”

that’s a good day, especially considering i woke up at 11!

stuff about calories and food under the cut:

today, i ate 1180 calories and burned 404. not bad! it’s under my 1400 calorie limit, so i’ll take it!

[https-satvrn]

things i never thought i’d say but obscura has made me say:

“damn. can’t tell my history teacher about that one.”

“I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS A CULT LEADER. NEVER TRUST A MAN WITH WHITE HAIR AND TRAUMA.”

“nooo we can’t let the little bitch see us having a panic attack.”

[https-satvrn]

*through gritted teeth* everyone starts somewhere. everyone starts somewhere. everyone starts somewhere.

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 11 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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off to a good start, i said i’d go to bed at 10 and here i am at midnight. at least i have an excuse—i just landed in my city like half an hour ago.

anyways, today i did skincare and worked on some development questions for kitri. also, there’s this new character that elbowed his way into the mix. don’t know his name yet and only have a vague idea of his occupation, but he looks like pedro pascal in my brain.

stuff about food and calories under the cut:

ate a solid 1240 calories today! it’s under my 1400-calorie limit for the day so i’m happy. good night everyone!

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 10 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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1/10th of the way through! today, i made a vision board and listed goals and ways to accomplish them. i’m going to put them here, as well as on my phone :]

goals:

lose (and maintain loss of) 15-20 pounds

read at least one book every month, including the goldfinch, iq 84, interview with the vampire, and more!

take a latin 1 course

take a cinematography course

establish a workout routine beyond cardio

do skincare in the morning and at night

start doing my makeup at least a couple times a week

finish a first draft of a story

implementation of goals:

cut down on sugar

stop snacking

lower myself down to 2 meals a day

start a new diet

make 7-8 the time for language learning

make 8-9 the time for a shower and reading

go to bed at 10:00, hard stop

start waking up 5 minutes earlier every day until i’m down to 6 in the morning for skincare and stretching (i already stretch, so it should be relatively simple)

start a simple makeup routine in february on the weekends

any time not spent working out, doing homework, etc. should be spent either resting or writing

let’s hope this works. happy 2025, everyone!

[https-satvrn]

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 9 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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woww i’m so sorry i didn’t post yesterday, i was super tired. anyways, yesterday i mapped out concepts for all of my characters. today, i was much less productive, but i started studying for my temps (FINALLY), so that’s something!

still binging, and my mother won’t stop pestering me about eating until i’m overfull. i’m so sick of vacation and can’t wait to be able to have some control over what i eat again.

might start the “get worse” diet until i’m comfortably down to like 2 meals a day. COMFORTABLY, meaning it won’t end in a binge and i won’t feel lightheaded.

[https-satvrn]

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 7 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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did my skincare and read more of the goldfinch today. i also worked on mads’s character a little more and made a rough outline for the plot of my story. so while i don’t feel it, and i’m exhausted, i had a pretty productive day.

binged today. again. i’m so tired of this.

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 6 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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today, i finished part 2 of the goldfinch. and that was it. i’m trying to make peace with the fact that it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing all the time, y’know? this isn’t nothing. i did something productive today.

stuff about eating under the cut:

binged today. it was pretty bad, too. i feel shitty—it was good food, and i enjoyed spending time with my mom, who i ate it with, but she saw me binging. she saw it and she knew it was too much (she told me after) and she didn’t say anything, even though she promised to “keep me in check,” for lack of a better phrase.

i can’t trust anyone other than myself to regulate myself, and i can’t self-regulate. i’m working on it, of course, but i can’t right now. i want to scream and throw up. so right now i’m just sitting on the balcony of my hotel and listening to california.

[https-satvrn]

being pissed at your family and embarrassed for blowing up at them (especially in public) <<<<

[https-satvrn]

✧₊⁺ day 5 of 100 days of productivity! ⁺₊✧

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today, i did exactly two productive things:

i figured out a central theme for my book

i read the entirety of ocean vuong’s “on this earth we’re briefly gorgeous.”

surprisingly, one had very little to do with the other! someone just made the bad decision of giving me unlimited funds and access to a barnes and noble.

tomorrow, i want to start working on the kitri’s character a little more (bc i’ve only really been focusing on nasir so far). she deserves more development as, y’know, THE MAIN CHARACTER. anyways, good night everyone!

[https-satvrn]

just word vomited in response to ocean vuong’s “on this earth we’re briefly gorgeous.” and uh. wow. did not realize there was all that angst in there until i let it out. jesus.