hrrrrrrrk

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IDEA IDEA IDEA

picture this: two gfs walking, one of which who wears a hijab. wind blows and tears hijab off. gf panics and takes her shirt off to put on her head. then is like “omg i am shirtless.” then she runs after hijab in a sports bra

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i just wrote a 600 word rant about bread because i was angry. i wrote this in 7 minutes

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dude recently i had a dream i got the shit beat out of me by one of those ventriloquist dolls and then my teeth were super wiggly

oof had another wiggly teeth dream. don’t like that

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so does the cowboy hat

the witch’s hat stays on during sex

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i wish i was dead -son clump

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is it just me or when someone comes into ur room and tells you to do something you wait until they leave and then go do it??? just me ? okay

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okay so u know how priests or whatever can bless water and make it holy water? and you know how people are 90% water?

...ferb i know what we’re gonna do today

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u know, my fav non-binary term to use to describe possible relationships is ‘love interest’ bc i feel like I'm in a novel like ‘oh yeah them? they're my potential love interest’ i love it immensely

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:(

straight moms trying to be supportive of their gay daughters: “you know if you ever meet that *special someone* you better start shaving bc they’re not gonna like ur disgusting nasty hairy legs :)”

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  I'm writing a short story (for school) about someone named Kat (my name is Cat lol) anyways and Kat is a famous burglar called ‘The Kat Burglar’ (get it haha) and while she’s robbing a house she meets a famous serial killer called ‘The Cereal Killer’ and after each murder she pours their cereal out everywhere (get it hehehehehe) anyways and then they fall in love and kill the president would u read?

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question: do u guys ever feel like a failure because you're not famous on tumblr or is it just me

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  there is nothing, and i mean NOTHING quite like the pain of having to share a room during quarantine. i don’t know anyone else who's going through this and i haven't seen anyone like post about it or anything, and I'm just left with the assumption that they are dead. i am sorry

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dear 2 followers,

is it too soon to say i love you? ill write you a sonnet, if only you loved me like i love you. you've stuck with me since the start, and could never wish for a better 2 followers than you. i hope you always hold me in your heart, as ill be sure to hold you.

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hey guys this blog is really sad, not because its like depressing but because i literally have 2 followers, but also if you're one of my 2 followers hmu i owe you a favor 

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if you look closely at the picture you can see that the description mentions it

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*parents searching for the remote*

parents: hey do you have a scrying spell to help us find it

me: i’ll check

me: *actually just looks for a pencil*

me: sorry i didn’t find anything

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life is hard bc those two guys got like 10 each and elizabeth (a snazzy gal) got 4 what a hard life america’s leading