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Fury Memo #228
Werewolves are not real.
R&D is not to take this as a challenge.
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Fury Memo #227
Rumors that SHIELD is haunted are false. It’s just Agent Romanoff, leave an offering of coffee at the door or she will follow you home. She gets bored.
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Fury Memo #226
No. Put it back where you found it.
You know who you are.
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Fury Memo #225
If Fury dies, the cat goes to live with Agent Romanoff. If Agent Romanoff dies, she better damn walk it off and feed the cat.
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Fury Memo #224
Rumors that Director Fury likes Agent Romanoff more than everyone else because she gets to take the cat home sometimes, are completely true. Maybe if the lot of you did your jobs instead of watching cat videos you’d have some privileges too.
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Fury Memo #223
No, you may not take the cat home for the weekend, it isn’t a class pet.
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Fury Memo #222
If you get scratched by the cat, you deserved it. Stop whining to medical about it.
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Fury Memo #221
Fury’s cat does not need a “girlfriend”. Somehow the alien talk is preferred over this.
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Fury Memo #220
Rumors that Fury’s cat is actually a dangerous alien are ridiculous. We have better things to do than discuss conspiracy theories about cats.
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Fury Memo #219
Feeding Fury’s cat is a privilege not a right.
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Fury Memo #218
If you’re going to break the rules and take selfies anyways, turn off location settings. Next agent to leave them on in a post, will have a strike team dispatched to their location and will have to deal with their complaints.
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Fury Memo #217
Someone stumbling upon your logged in Facebook page is not “Hacking”, whatever Agent Barton has written on your facebook wall you deserve for not logging out.
While at it, password is not a good password, try again.
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Fury Memo #216
Fury Memo #215 is to be ignored. HR has canceled flag promotion day due to "concerns about safety". 
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Fury Memo #215
A reminder: Promotion flag day is coming up soon. Any agent able to steal a flag off of SHIELD's top agents and not end up in medical will be promoted.
A warning: Agent Romanoff has never lost. Agent Barton has only lost to a dog.
That dog is now higher rank than all of you.
Good luck 
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Fury Memo #214
Agents are requested to stop spreading rumors of "Beach Day".
Evil doesn't take beach days. If it did, we'd be the jerks crashing the beach day of evil.
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Fury Memo #213
If Fury had adopted the Avengers, Romanoff and Rogers would tie for favorite child.
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Fury Memo #212
Rumors that Director Fury adopted all of the Avengers are complete lies. They're grown adults, they don't need adopting, even when they don't act like adults and need to be put in time out.
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