She/Her 30 - AO3: insomniareader 💚 This blog is only kept alive by a time delayed queue... if nothing has been posted, I've been dead a month. Send Help.
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Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken
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*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document
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the world is a mess but at least we still have cunnilingus and spicy curry
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*finishes reading a full book in 3 hours* who am i
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my mama got home today and she was so excited. she said she got me a present, so then i was excited too. i had no idea what she got me. she said ‘close your eyes and put your hands out’, so i did. and then i felt her put something in my hands. i opened my eyes and
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“i saw it and it was chubby and you called a frog ‘big boy’ last night and i had to get it! it’s big boy!”
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every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).
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taylor swift: she was the piss on the carpet / I was the floor's poo / she would always be his number one / while I was the number two / little did we know / he would flush us both
white women who have lizzo blocked on twitter: I'm SOBBINHG. the METAPHORS. did she know she would define a generation with this? 😭😭😭
gayboys who own every switch pokemon game: agsshdjdkdakh no okay but why is this better than everything on the radio for the past ten years 😭 THIS ICONNNNN. EVERYBODY SHUT UP I'M IN MY FLUSHING ERA 📢📢
asian giant hornet in a japanese honeybee nest:
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maybe if we stopped arguing over the difference between bisexual and pansexual we could come together and channel that energy for something good, like figuring out the difference between 4WD and AWD
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Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl... but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.
Katarina "Kat" Stratford & Patrick Verona 10 Things I Hate About You│1999
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Hilariously funny that they let the guy known for wandering off without warning to look at birds was allowed to do this
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Leverage episode where Parker has to pose as a housekeeper over the course of a few days to case an enormous mansion, but the family keeps giving her orders and she keeps taking them extremely literally, Amelia Bedelia-style
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