hotmess321

[hotmess321]

[hotmess321]

the mortifying ordeal of being known

--

I think with Yor being so perceptive, she picks up on little things often (like we saw in ch 103). i believe this would impact loid more so than the usual person, because he is a spy and fakes every part of himself, so to be seen is simultaneously desirable and horrifying. like, it makes him torn between wanting to accept and reciprocate the love, or distancing himself so that it doesn't happen again.

thats mostly what the last panel is about, that dichotomy between 'omg this person noticed this about me, is this love' and 'oh shit this person noticed this about me, is this Doom'

just some thoughts i had🤪

[hotmess321]

how old school of me to post a headcanon to tumblr just as i start using it- don't mind me, just furthering the girl dad agenda for loid 😌

the girl is supposed to have slightly darker hair than loid, and has yor's eye shape but with a sleepy look to them? at least as a kid. loid puts her hair in braids because it's an excuse to spend time with her. she's so cute i love her.

i've sketched a comic where she's the oldest, the "smart" one with another two kids lmao who look like twiyor's carbon copies, but i don't know when i'll get to it... we'll see!

also if anyone's finding me here... i apologize if i make mistakes because i don't really know how tumblr works that much 😳

[hotmess321]

my piece for @ sxfzine back in 2023!

[hotmess321]

something about death, and sustenance, and decay. Idk

[hotmess321]

[hotmess321]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[hotmess321]

[hotmess321]

i gotta remember this

[hotmess321]

Hold on a sec, you stay here and look at this gif, and I'm just gonna walk to a cliff and jum-

[hotmess321]

little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again

[hotmess321]

[hotmess321]

best very specific trope in time travel is when someone meets someone and you know theyre gonna get married because he has the last name she has in the future

[hotmess321]

brent iii autumn can officially start

[hotmess321]

albums i like to fall asleep to sometimes + why

(in no particular order, i just thought that compiling a list would be fun & a good look into my music taste (as if anybody asked for it))

also kinda doubles as a topster

crusher - jeremy zucker (super solid pop album imo, the mix is very soft and easy to relax to)

speed run (or spiral) - frost children (it’s very fun and silly but also the sound that lulu prost is able to achieve itches a certain part of my brain that nothing else does)

apple - a.g. cook (i don’t know how i do this actually but it just soothes my brain as well)

marriage - oryx & crake (just a brilliant album from a band i take pride in being the only person i know who knows about them)

floral green - title fight (classic)

hey what - low (i love noise & the harmony that only a married couple can make)

e - ecco2k (beautiful and exquisite and somewhat eerie but perfect for super late at night)

thank u, next - ariana grande (nostalgia factor + general ethereality)

aldn’s whole discography tbh (don’t know why, don’t ask)

the battle at gardens gate - greta van fleet (very pretty & very solid rock record)

something to give each other - troye sivan (dancey but also insightful and also produced and mixed beautifully)

[hotmess321]

the barbenheimer experience i had was so funny i saw oppenheimer first and in a quiet scene we could literally hear ken singing in the theater next to us and then during barbie it when was quiet we could hear a fucking explosion coming from the oppenheimer screening

[hotmess321]