hotandcoldaf

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me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

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I recently got an on-campus job. During the interview process, I requested that I not be scheduled on Friday nights or Saturdays as I am a Jewish student.

My boss immeadiately brightened and rushed to explain - "Of course ! Of course! We want to accomodate you! We have another worker who takes off for Ramadan. Do you need to take off for Ramadan?"

I shook my head, incredibly confused. "Uh. That's. Not my jurisdiction. I'm good." Boss nodded but was sure to add "Let me know if that ever changes. We can help you with Ramadan."

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I just saw a gifset that split the word "beautiful" into 3 gifs and I think this one may be the new t hanos

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I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

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Source: Useless Ponko Ponkotsu Ponko ぽんこつポン子

by Keita Yatera

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[hotandcoldaf]

cant forgive one of my coworkers because our advisor came into the office and was giving us a very sad speech that he had to make us work more hours and he was very upset about this fact and we all had to be very somber listening to him when to my right this guys computer flashes into sleep mode which happens to reveal this image that i then had to look at and not lose my shit over even a little bit

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:)

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A Bunch of Friends!!

Careful! Spoilers under there...

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man i wonder what this cathode-ray tube was used for

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Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

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Senshi was busy so they sent me a grim omen instead

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my mom had all girls as her kids so I took it upon myself to do the funniest power move/thing ever