hoserdaddy

[hoserdaddy]

Founders Imperial Stout out of Grand Rapids, Michigan. Clocks in at 10.5% with a intense aroma of mocha-choco-lata-ya-ya. A primo stout that is the polar opposite of sessionable, a fireplace sipper of the finest pedigree.

7.8/10

-AK

[hoserdaddy]

A “special brown ale” by Dexter, Michigans Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales. This bottle was labelled Blend 1, 2009. I can only imagine how much metamorphosis it’s been through over it’s four year long glass quarantine but the original notes of cacao, cinnamon and sweet orange peel that it advertises within the frame of a classic abbey Belgian aren’t immediately apparent. It tastes more akin to a sour lambic ale. A very flavourful monastic Belgian meets mysterious tropical jungle in this particular incarnation.

7.5/10

-AK

[hoserdaddy]

The daddies united will have their say:

What we know about this beer is that it was bottled at 11:33pm on the 13th of January 2014. What we’d like to know is who Hogan is and why this eponymous brew decided to reference him. The goat, a direct homage to the traditional German bock beer. This one is proudly spiced with peppermint and orange peel to flex a pose worthy of the Hulkmeister himself. Hogan’s goat clocks in at a veritable 6.9% with a clean, referee approved 80’s running leg drop finisher. May this beer be a hero to you in a time when no other malt-clad saviour is found.

7.3 AK/SML averaged precision score

I am a real Canadian and harvest the might of every grain.

[hoserdaddy]

My loyal drinking cohort Ian split this bottle of mystical effervescence with me recently and I dare don this one crowned king of 2013. The Bruery’s Mischief is a 9% golden Belgian style that has mastered the resplendent fizziness and dry finish of sparkling wine. I guess I understand the tag line “Not quite evil, yet not to be trusted…”, the beer is deceptively drinkable for its ABV , to the point where on very special occasions it would be a preferable breakfast substitute to the invincible mimosa. Plancentia, CA, I have never heard of you until now, and now I’ll never forget you, because first your name made my immature heart flutter and then your beer left a euphoric sizzle on my tongue.

9/10

-AK

[hoserdaddy]

I’m going to have to trace the name of this archaic 13 character German wheat beer in order to share its identity. Although, I suppose those with eyes are already capable of seeing that it says Weihenstephaner in the photo. I received this cup as a gift and was going to regift it to Stephan since the suffix bears his namesake but right now I’m feeling glad that I kept this mammoth weizenware. According to blatant evidence this brewery has been in operation since 725, and they haven’t wasted any label space boasting this undisputed fact.

So here it goes, emperors of time immemorial:

The carbonated crackle of microknit foam that rises off this weizen echoes the toiled origins of German brewing. The flavour is clean and clear and under control. The secondary function as facial cleanser is a little known latent fact, but data concludes that even an acne ridden face appears more beautiful with a smile on it.

So put a smile on your face, and make the modern world a better place.

6.7

AK

[hoserdaddy]

What we have here is a purported Lion’s Winter Ale brewed out of Vancouver, BC. I’ve never heard of a Lions winter but I’m positive it hasn’t been experienced in British Columbia. Here in Ottawa we would scoff at this Lion claim in our hazardous -30 degree weather. The immediately apparent flavour on this 5.5% ale is a rich dose of vanilla, which may be a metaphorical allusion to the snow that the west coast must be so smitten to escape.

The only white lions I know of live at the Papanack Petting Zoo.

6.6/10

AK

[hoserdaddy]

Pompous assholes may have crafted this deep brew, but when it’s this good, I will let them stand on their soap box for as long as their knees can stand it.

I’d wager a duelling banjo against you not having tasted hades imbued so maliciously on a robust ale. The aftertaste screams hellfire although the bottle’s text description on the backside feigns true evil.

You can drink it, and you should. May Cerberus greet you at the doors to intoxication.

Scorch your tongue at the gates

7.(666)

AK + SML

[hoserdaddy]

This limited edition release of Lagunitas Brown Shugga was the most memorable adrenaline shot to my beer loving heart I’ve had since, frankly, the last time a friend brought me home beer from Vermont. Clocking in at a miraculously precise ABV measurement of 7.84% this joyride of palpable hoppiness is expertly balanced with its shuggary sweetness. But don’t let that remind you of the musical travesty of Sugar Ray for a minute unless you are lamenting the McGrath requiem, “when its over, that’s the time I fall in love again”. Which is as topical as it is utterly depressing considering I only have one left.

Brown shugga, how come you taste so good?

7.7 AK

[hoserdaddy]

We at Hoser Daddy have decided to take a break from imbibing delicious beers by investing an evening into making our own. The love was sweet and eventually we beheld our beautiful wort, which is pictured enjoying a nice ice bath. After cooling, we decided to lay it to rest in the carboy and give it some yeast and water to grow into a beautiful baby bock. The natural process of fermentation isn't always enough, so a plea to the supernatural was made by way of a seance. May our bock be graced by forces more evil than those seen in The Exorcist.

[hoserdaddy]

For those who do not know Ayinger’s Celebrator, let me introduce you to a damn fine dobbelbock that maintains the tradition of sweetness, while not being overly sweet, and a beautifully high alcohol percentage. This 6.7% beer is smooth, with the perfect level of malt, and, because it is not excessively sweet, won’t result in the worst hangover ever if imbibed to excess. Sure, you’ll be hung over, but it could be much, much worse. May this smoky and dry beverage embrace the glass walls of your stein, so you can party proper. Please, embrace the moniker.

8.0

SML

[hoserdaddy]

North Coast Brewing & Co.’s Pranqster is a Belgian style golden ale and it produces a golden body and a generous head when poured. The citrus flavor is refreshing and light. It is almost as if this bottle contains the essence of summer and, when drinking it, you feel rescued from the depths of whatever winter you are enduring. At 7.6%, this beer is smooth and easily imbibed, which is a paramount reason to support the beauty of this beer. Since this beer is brewed in Fort Bragg, California, I would suggest snagging a bottle if you ever see this beer pop up at your local LCBO.

7.9

AK

[hoserdaddy]

Having enjoyed some of Black Creek’s other creations, I decided to buy their Dray Horse Ale to give it the good old college try. As part of their historic series, Black Creek has seen fit to attempt to recreate traditional beers from the 1800s and then (loosely) relate them to past, important Canadian events. When pouring this beer you should expect a dark mahogany body to form, with a very miniscule head (the picture substantiates my claim). Although, the lack of carbonation wasn’t a detractor for this beer, I did find most of the flavor too subdued. The malt and toffee flavors were barely present, making this beer pretty bland. If this beer were a party, it would be the opium den of parties. See, its not that this beer is bad – it’s just boring. This makes me think that if you wanted to commemorate certain Canadian events (ex. Canal building) with a historic beer and have it relate to an animal integral in these events (ex. Dray Horses), you would not want a beer that is soft, boring, and far from strong (5%). The dray horses were powerful workhorses and this beer is a neutered Chihuahua.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lyjUTUBexg

6.1

SML

[hoserdaddy]

Nativator Heizenbock 7% dark and wild. The subtle yet profoundly abstract taste of monkeys ripping off your passenger seat mirror while you are rubbing your crucifix air freshener for mercy and to be spared from the African lion safari beast horde. What I’m trying to say is it was very spicy and accelerated my tongue sensors beyond any wilderness the Canadian Shield represents to me.

7.3 AK

And The Lord gave us dominion over the beasts

[hoserdaddy]

Dieu du Ciel’s collabrewation with New Belgian Brewing from Colorado. It left a resounding taste of potpourri in my mouth cavity. It’s been a full hour since i drank it and I still can’t figure out if I was at one of Montreal’s most famed brewpubs or had dined at the floral garden buffet. 7% haphazard sour flower fragrant weird beer. I think it was called God Hemelse but i’ve been lost in translation since consummation.

6.6/10

AK

Rush courageously, the devil is waiting inside

[hoserdaddy]

New Years Eve, a night of delerious optimism, wreckless merriment and frivolous compotation. Luckily for most Coping with the annual enlightenment of your own shortcomings can be as simple as guzzling an onslaught of your favourite beer. I went with Brooklyn Brewery’s Chocolate stout for its explicit holiday theme and to channel the global excitement of a Times Square countdown. The dark chocolate bitterness of this 10% stout easily masks its potent ABV content. Sip at it until it’s warm!

7/10

AK

[hoserdaddy]

Here we have one of my favorite beers in the IPA realm – Central City’s Red Racer. In terms of can aesthetics, I was initially turned off by the appearance and I didn’t dare touch it for the longest time (mistake #1). It looked like big business’ poor attempt at trying to hone in on what ‘kids’ are into these days, as if your dad was trying to appeal to you as a fellow member of generation Y (mistake #2). You have a character riding a vintage cruiser clad in retro clothing, which utilizes a colorway that is one step away from making it seem like a Christmas beer. Fuck, even writing this is making me feel awkward and uncomfortable. It wasn’t until AK convinced me to pick it up that I could finally admire this beer.  Having just written a review of the Twice As Mad Tom, I am afraid of being redundant, but the aroma and distinctive taste of a well-brewed IPA is more than present here. The German Magnum hops and the Caraston Crystal Malt have arrived to silence the skeptics. Pick one, or more, up and enjoy, for big business is nowhere to be found.

Best regards,

SML

7.2

[hoserdaddy]

This Piraat treasure fueled a first to five match battle of Street Fighter 4 with a fellow buccaneer. My Akuma raped and pillaged him downright fierce, with gulps between rounds and the taste of victory still lingers strong. The taste of victory being what I came to associate with drinking this terrific ale between wins. At 10.5% I was expecting  a cannonball-in-your mouthfeel type of impact but it went down smooth with a giant amount of flavour. I wish I could say, "it's a Piraat's life for me", but alas, this Sea Dog found the booty in the miscellaneous single bottle section. 

AK

7.5

Man the Crow's Nest for treasures a-yonder.