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horacechan623 · 5 years ago

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Welcome to the new decade. Some brief words (and photos) first on the time that has just passed. Followed by a lengthy one on the 2010s.

2019 will be chiefly remembered as:

Productive at work, but probably at a cost of working too much; balanced by

nice overseas leisure and business trips, the personal highlight obviously being the Baltic/Russian summer.

all this though, being definitely overshadowed by the complicated, sad and gloomy emotions throughout the historical events that have unfolded in Hong Kong over the past seven months and without end in sight.

That’s about it. But there’s much more to be said about the past decade.

Nowadays, it seems increasingly difficult for me to express something without giving some sort of background thought or consideration. It is a phenomena where daily words have been so subconsciously influenced by distractions in my mind. The mind is busy for countless reasons. Daily work is the immediate pick, but going beyond business and office gossips there are other ‘heavier’ subjects such as identity and values, career and life choices, personal goals and failures, relationships and Weltschmerz. Thankfully though, family and friendship issues rarely feature here.

The ingredients and emergence of this phenomena have been inextricably tied with all the transitions and events, that I am much lucky to have experienced during the “golden twenties”. As with most fellow readers of similar age, this decade has been a story of transitioning and exploring.

In the undergraduate days, initial setbacks taught a valuable lesson about the dangers of being snobbish. On the other hand, the resources and network provided by the University consolidated a continued curiosity to many subjects beyond science.

The postgraduate days were a wholly transformative experience and the undoubtable high point of my 2010s. Having felt at times like an outsider back home, the environment and peculiarities of Germany (and to a lesser extent, the Sweden) appeared a perfect fit, and provided perspectives beyond the bubble of Hong Kong. As such, the immersion in these foreign cultures not only taught me to recognise and accept my personal character, but also added a few extra building blocks along the way. Meanwhile, the scientific way of thinking and working picked up from the Masters degree continues to wield a substantial influence in my life.

Those three years also marked a key transition from a free-wheeling student mentality, to sudden realisations that much of the upcoming adult life would be hard and uncertain, and that the glorious period of youth was slipping away quick. The frequent moments of solitude and deep reflection (particularly during the cold and grey months of 2015 – 16) produced plenty of anxieties and regrets, but also a recognition that the only way forward is to stiffen up and go ahead to deal with them.

Looking back, this so-called ‘quarter-life crisis’ (to borrow the term) set in motion some changes in behaviour and informed crucial decisions. One such decision in 2016, was the million dollar question that loomed in front of me: whether to stay in Europe for the long run, or to return to HK for work? The heart clearly longed for Europe, but ultimately the mind won the debate.

And so I elected to return home in pursuit of a career in the industry. Three years on, with the decade having just passed, and from being a green employee to a slightly experienced office rat – what could be said of this final phase of the 2010s?

For starters, I have noticeably gained pounds and seen some alarming drop in fitness levels. Second, it is that despite the bitching, the exposure, skills, opportunities and certain connections attained from working (particularly since 2018) has been quite rewarding. Beyond that, I have grown to re-appreciate my home so much. Hong Kong is truly one of the most unique places in the world, making it horribly tragic how the city has fallen into its current predicament.

Yet, I feel that the ghosts of the “quarter-life crisis” still lingers – in fact, they reemerge in another similar form, now repackaged neatly under the label: the ‘Thirties / 三十而立’.

A package updated with new factors, new challenges and even bigger repercussions. A package that brazenly barges itself into daily life and thinking, as much as I often wish to neglect it. Frankly, often times I wonder if this is a normal process of continued maturation that every individual must go through from the 20s until as late as the early 40s; or whether this is only me over-thinking about details – minuscule details that might end up meaning little and rendered ephemeral in a world that changes ever more dramatically and quickly. After all, there have certainly been more than a few times over the past two years, where I felt being just like a tiny fleck of dust amidst the great tide of history.

All being aside, I am extremely grateful for all that happened over the past decade. And certainly too, the hundreds and hundreds of people that I have had privilege to meet and know. Some connections have been certainly been lost – as much as I would like to keep in closer terms – but all relationships takes two to tango. For those that still keep in touch, thanks! It is a blessing.

Online records stay permanently somewhere. I’m skeptical as to whether in the future, Facebook would be around or used by me for publishing some silly personal reflections. But these are interesting and surprising times – who knows?

Wishing you much success and good health for another decade.

The times they are a-changin – the 2010s Welcome to the new decade. Some brief words (and photos) first on the time that has just passed.

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horacechan623 · 6 years ago

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Happy 2019! Please bear for the remaining 376 words of rambling thoughts below.

2018 will be remembered predominantly for two things. The first was work – after a protracted wait I finally switched to a new role internally. And lo and behold, this was finally the first time where I truly experienced and understood the intensity of the Hong Kong working culture. There were of course days, where after long hours of forcing through powerpoints, emails and client meetings, one actually feels a rush of adrenaline and satisfaction in the end to accomplish a bit more. There were also moments of actual inspiration, when reading through some review articles, or major clinical papers, or sitting through presentations of some Doctors and (surprise surprise) colleagues. Unfortunately for the majority of last year, work felt simply too unrelenting and burdening, partly also exacerbated by a tendency to be slightly perfectionist (And politics, but everyone knows that).

The second was Europe (again). Being back in Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic was a much welcomed breather after the role transition. Despite two years away, I felt completely at home upon returning – even some of my German came back. Comparisons to life in Hong Kong arose inevitably, and this hit hard especially so when staying over at some of my friend’s own rented places.

It goes without saying that these two experiences provided the greatest stimulation to my life and career plans, but let’s not forget many other scattered sources – visits to China, interactions with colleagues (yes even the unpopular ones) and clients, hearing the conversations and anxieties on marriage and property from close friends, reading investment books, and the rich and varied environment and people of Hong Kong itself. A complicated and humbling picture emerges, and honestly speaking there are no easy and perfect decisions. Life is too much of a grey zone and a game of trade-offs.

It is this ambiguity and uncertainty that compels one to continue searching forward. I’m expecting 2019 to be even more hard work, but also more systematic than ever. Finally, a few special personal encounters in 2018 also made me learn that good things always ends – and perhaps it is prudent to remain content by enjoying the most of the process in between. I’ll try to apply that for many things in this coming year.

多謝 / Thanks / Danke / Kiitos!

The push of 2018 Happy 2019! Please bear for the remaining 376 words of rambling thoughts below. 2018 will be remembered predominantly for two things.

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horacechan623 · 7 years ago

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Thanks, now that I have (hopefully) attracted your attention.

The hashtags encapsulate different parts that make up 2017 for me.

But first, a remark on technology. Having replaced my old Sony with an iPhone of miles better processing speed and camera, I have also become one of those who is not shy of making frequent phone shots (Including food. But I am Asian so that’s ok. And there are a lot of nice food here). Add in a couple of apps (Instagram notably) and Hong Kong’s fast internet, I have become a bit more ‘wired’ (hence the title to this post makes sense.)

That’s an impact that being in the 852 has on me, since returning last year from the technology-averse and privacy-valued land of Germany. Social media does waste time, although luckily I think it has not affected my interaction skills. That said, I am also thankful that technology has brought some memorable and interesting social and dating encounters in real life. That’s a plus.

Speaking of social encounters, there is no lack of it in Hong Kong. The ease of meeting new acquaintances also means over the past year I have experienced and explored a fair bit of new places. To all those who have accompanied or invited me whether to artsy cinema, concerts, nerdy talks, bars in LKF/Soho, house parties, new restaurants and HK’s lovely nature – thank you! In fact, over the past year I have grown to appreciate this city so much more, for its unending energy and wonderful diversity of people and environment around every corner.

Of course, in an expensive city like Hong Kong, going out and eating out is not always cheap. This brings me to work. All in all, the first year of being ‘properly’ in the workforce can be described as ‘not bad’. Through my work I have had the pleasure to understand some pharma business, the public healthcare system and fascinating developments in clinical oncology and diagnostics. In addition, there were also opportunities to visit new countries. Chicago was particularly inspiring and provided a ’cause’ that I could relate to for a career. Such were the highlights, and they were really important as otherwise daily work… is just work with the capacity to dampen initial enthusiasm, to frustrate, to make one look forward to Fridays and to yearn for a change: for my working experience in the past year has also further resolved some of my career preferences. But what am I to complain, considering the amount of new things I learnt, supportive colleagues and decent work-life balance and benefits.

Speaking of #overseas, I was lucky to visit new countries through a combination of work and annual leaves, and took the opportunity to soak in the foreign culture as much as possible. If Korea felt a bit dull with its endless shops of cosmetics and shopping, good ol’ America was, well, just American. It is easy to see why people have such mixed views of this country. On departing , I was in awe of the amazing research and innovation done there, as well as the upbeat and friendly attitude of the Americans. On the other hand, the dilapidated infrastructure, terrible airport customs, apparent social stratification and odd tipping habits add up to my new fascination of this most powerful nation on Earth. Then there was also Singapore, the neat and ordered competitor of Hong Kong, far less dynamic but seemingly optimistic in its future. Finally, personal travels to Malaysia and Portugal/Spain were excellent with many good memories. In particular, Penang and Lisboa rank as some of the best destinations I have ever been to, and the two weeks in the Iberia reminded me again why I missed Europe so much.

Although there were many new experiences over the past year, 2017 will not be complete without the usual worries and self-criticism that often pop up and occupy my thoughts from time to time. These include questions of career, relationships, identity and grapples of my personal character. If that sounds too gloomy and philosophical, I hope such is considered a normal process of growing up.

This idea, or pressure of growing up, or ‘maturing’ – whatever you call it, was often reminded strongly to me during the past year. From conversations with close friends, I noticed they have become far more practical, and daresay, slowly losing some sort of passion. Then, of course, there were ‘milestone’ events which I attended – four weddings and a sobering, unexpected funeral. Such events are platforms not only to be nostalgic, but also to consider about life and the future. In any case though, sentiments and anxieties of ‘growing up’ are not easily expressed, nor are there often willing or patient listeners. One only keeps on trying and searching.

Plenty has happened in 2017. How much they have influenced me I do not know, as towards the end of this year I think I remain the same introverted and reserved melancholic as before. That said, whatever the influence is and whatever 2018 brings, I am grateful to count on the support of family and people whom I value and respect. Apart from new acquaintances, these include, of course, those whom I re-connected over the past year whether in HK, SGP, Kuala Lumpur or Spain. Thanks and enjoy the celebrations ahead!

TL;DR: 2017 was a pretty good year. Many new experiences, but essentially same character with usual anxieties of ‘growing up’.

#HK. #KPIs. #Overseas. #Social media. #New experiences. #Old bonds. And #pictures. Thanks, now that I have (hopefully) attracted your attention. The hashtags encapsulate different parts that make up 2017 for me.

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