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Fake identity crisis'in be like that

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the foxes make it their mission to introduce neil and kevin to “childhood staples” or other things they missed out on, like amusement parks and arcades etc etc. they decide it would be a great idea to go to the zoo, just for a few hours, and see what happens. they think they won’t care at all because there’s no exy. but neil and kevin are absolutely losing their minds. pigs may be the ugliest creatures they’ve ever seen, but they can’t stop staring as they roll around in shit. a panda?? a real life panda just six feet away from them??? the fuck??!?! the flamingoes are staring into their souls. elephants are not as large as they were expecting, slightly disappointing. neil pet a goat and immediately regretted it. there was a fake t-rex in some fake palm trees and kevin DEFINITELY didn’t think it was real for a hot second. definitely not. they rode the “safari train” and there are now like 50 videos of the top strikers in the US being utterly overwhelmed by the sight of zebras and lions. the team browses the overpriced gift shops and dan (un)ironically buys kevin a stuffed panda and neil a stuffed fox. kevin says he doesn’t want to put the panda on his desk because it is “strictly a studying space” so there is nowhere else but his bed. nothing he can do about it. and when neil moves in with andrew, he sends dan a picture of the fox standing in the hallway, andrew cooking in the background, and captions it “all good”. 

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[hands you these] part 66

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More Andreil rooftop hangouts  This art is for a large standee (avail for preorder) and I’m really happy with how it turned out!! excited to display this next to my aftg books ;;

((preorders on SHOPMIDGART.COM))

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Andrew and Neil

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some nice andriel haha

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okay i’ll bite

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I decided to do some math to figure out just how much money Neil/Kevin/Jean would be making after their deal with ichurou so buckle up

So based on neils knowledge of a professional exy players income, me know an average player makes ~$3,000,000 a year

The average professional Exy player makes three million dollars a year. I don't need that kind of money for myself.

And they agree that 80% of neils income would go to the moriyamas

"Eighty percent of your earnings for the entirety of your career will be sufficient. I expect similar tithes from Day and Moreau”

So doing some quick math they’d keep 20% of that 3 million and make around $600,000. Which is a lot so already, they’d be fine

HOWEVER, just after saying the average player makes a solid three mill Neil discloses that:

At the start of his sophomore year Kevin had a seven-digit net worth between his professional contract, his spot on the national team, and his endorsements. He could have earned your family fifteen, twenty million a year after graduation.

So based on that knowledge of income (and knowing that both Kevin and Neil go on to play professionally and on the national team etc) both of them would be making roughly $17.5 million yearly. 80% of that would be taken, which leaves them with a measley

3.5 Million Dollars

Plus Neil lives with Andrew, who is under no such agreement, adds another ~$17,500,000 to that household income for a total of about $21,000,000 YEARLY

In conclusion, if Jort-wearing Neil Josten can live his dreams, with the man he loves (and cats), doing his favorite thing in the world, gaining a good 21 mill every year despite the yakuza breathing down his neck: you can too.

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🦊"We won!" 🦊

(Ahhh you guys have given me such a warm welcome to fandom so have some soft renalison as a thankyou 💖)

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Neil:

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andrew’s thought process as neil appeared in his line of sight, running:

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commission for super awesome @prismaticego and our mutual friend kohi!

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Neil: you can tell a lot about people by their hands

Andrew:... Go on

Neil: for example, if it's a skeleton, they're probably dead

Andrew: fuck- Fuckin dumbass- Jesus fuck come here I'm gonna wreck your face with mine

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Yeah Andrew having an eidetic memory is cool and all, but he could also capitalize on it and use it for evil. for example:

- reciting Kevin’s Wikipedia page whenever he gets annoying

- reciting the ‘man door hand hook car door’ thing to random strangers on the street

-reciting an entire textbook chapter word for word when the professor asks him if he’s been paying attention

- reciting the FitnessGram PACER Test to Aaron at every available opportunity

- reciting ‘My Immortal’ to Wymack after he says something sentimental or something

- reciting the official exy handbook to Neil, when they’re in bed (but Neil always laughs and calls him an asshole and then kisses him, so, y’know, win-win)

- reciting the entire Bill of Rights in a bad British accent on the drive to Columbia because Kevin kept talking about the Salem witch trials

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renison is my self-care 😌

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So hear me out, in my coffee exhaustion fueled bullshit:

- WHAT if, between being on the run and being the son of the fucking Butcher of Baltimore, Neil never really got to experience Christmas traditionally, at least not in a WHILE

- so then,,, what if,,,, when the foxes discover this, they tell Neil extensively about their Christmas traditions

- and naturally, being the Tiny Antogonist that he is, he decides to fuck with them

Basically what I’m picturing is this:

Matt: yeah I believed in Santa Clause till I was like 10

Neil: Santa Clause?

*an hour later*

Nicky, crying over eggnog in his Christmas sweater: Neil, NEIL, it’s SANTA CLAUSE, he brings GIFTS

Neil, still insisting that he has Not heard of Santa Clause: it’s fucking CREEPY, you tell kids a fat white man breaks into their home and leaves packages every year???

Kevin, drunk and secretly enjoying the conversation very much: *nods* he also eats cookies when at the houses

Neil: he eATS YOUR FOOD???