hoot-eggs
hoot-eggs
A Bipolar Whore With Extreme Nausea
4K posts
I’m fucking back
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
I’m fucking crying
Tumblr media
i haven’t stopped thinking about this since last night
190K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time
220K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
got a pussy like an ashtray
75K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
64K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
18th century swan wine cooler
11K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
ok i'll bite what's an mcr
1K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
can we send anon hate to landlords/brokers on listing sites. can we make that a thing
96K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
30K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
when my dad’s nervous he watches the game from outside
256K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
only thing i agree with dads on is when it rains and they say ‘we needed that’ bc like. we did
124K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
17K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
Fucking SIGH
GUESS WHO’S FUCKING BACK
6 notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
I’ve been on for TWO seconds
GUESS WHO’S FUCKING BACK
6 notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 3 years ago
Text
GUESS WHO’S FUCKING BACK
6 notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 7 years ago
Text
My friends got me the best (and worst) present ever
It’s one of those sequin pillows where you can turn the sequins. And this is how they look like from both sides.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Please someone make it stop.
Nic Cage is haunting me in my dreams now.
I mean, it was a free pillow but AT WHAT COST!!!!
161K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 7 years ago
Photo
@im-the-ruler-here
Tumblr media
143K notes · View notes
hoot-eggs · 7 years ago
Text
Just about every joke in Avatar: The Last Airbender is peak comedy but conceptually my favorite moment is that scene in The Waterbending Scroll where Zuko’s crew was fighting some pirates and Aang was lost in the middle of a smoke cloud.
Now, Aang being an Airbender, the logical thing to do would be to blow the smoke away, which he does.
Tumblr media
This would be funny enough in and of itself, but what really gets me is that Aang just nopes his way out of the situation by… Calling the smoke back?
Tumblr media
Like on top of this being the literal only instance of an aerokinetic character blowing smoke away in reverse (not the same thing as kicking up a cloud of dust) just… everyone who was fighting just goes back to fighting each other like that didn’t just happen? Like they didn’t just see the Avatar- who they’re fighting over- is no longer tied up?
This five seconds of animation is just the most beautifully hilarious mess.
97K notes · View notes