hoobidija - Tumblr blog

[hoobidija]

Feeling introspective tonight Sometimes it takes a rejected gift from your father and an evening of brooming in a quiet snowfall... The mistakes i have made in my life have stayed with me every day I am grateful for the painfully constant reminder of the type of person i never want to be again Forgiveness isnt something i believe is for me i guess im ok with that

However For what its worth I choose to learn these lessons in life

Be granted a little bit of wisdom

To CHOOSE to be a forge of positivity and a shining light that offers safety, comfort, peace, and joy I like being reminded of the footsteps in the night Even a raging storm is calm....in its center #introspection #Peace is a choice #Sending love to all of the people who continue to touch my soul wherever they are in their own journey these days...

Lyrics below:

You don't know, you don't know, know Your eyes glow in the dark, they glow You got friends all around, around But it's just you and me, you and me are going down

Baby if you follow me home, I'll follow you forever If you're not going out in the cold, I'll wait for better weather If you're tired of walking alone, I'll walk with you and watch the sky No matter where you are, no matter where you are, I wanna be

Your footsteps in the night Your footsteps in the night Your footsteps in the night

Baby if you follow me home, I'll follow you forever If you're not going out in the cold, I'll wait for better weather If you're tired of walking alone, I'll walk with you and watch the sky No matter where you are, no matter where you are, I wanna be

Your footsteps in the night Your footsteps in the night Your footsteps in the night

Your footsteps in the night Your footsteps in the night You're so close, you're so close, ooh Your footsteps in the night Encore performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXPTUP-VZU&list=PLuKqEm8Ubu_0ZQbXbrpUPQTANs6pE_XpE&index=83

[hoobidija]

[hoobidija]

i guess its time for bed

i wonder what tomorrow will bring

i am going to manifest something really wonderful to happen

an unexpected meeting that will cheer me up

ill see you soon then

thank you for listening

[hoobidija]

Its Nov 10 2022

I spent last night at my parents Cleaning out my old room and learning to let go of old things I didnt realize how painful childhood can be Toys, games

2 graduation caps. high school. college

i hated seeing them

an unpleasant reminder of failures and wasted years waiting for a life that i burned to the ground

 Gifts from old friends A note from someone i loved

Words cant do it justice - words are meaningless to express how i feel

I wish i could say how i really feel but i cant Ive been listening to old music from high school and college shared with me by people that helped shaped me It was so cold last night i was chilled to the bone...but i kind of liked it I took a hot bath and remembered so many years ago now Looking at my hands as i lay there i could actually feel the sand pouring from my hourglass of time It has been so many years What am i still doing here It is a strange feeling to realize that you are completely forgotten I still think of you every day Its weird how we spend so many days and years making and breaking ourselves becoming many someone else’s yet in the same skin, grow old then die I still feel a gaping hole in my heart Im sorry for all the trouble ive caused I can never be sorry enough Like being cropped out of a family photograph Clocks dont turn back I guess this is good enough to say for now Im writing this for me - but sometimes hope someone else would read it too

[hoobidija]

Listen to this at the same time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgm4N4OnHsQ

[hoobidija]

Another Leaf Fallen

And how quickly time passes and flies by My feet still hurt from being lost in the city I am still tired from sleeping all day I am still worn out from fighting aliens The warmth of a comrade is all i need to get me through What is more powerful than friendship? You have helped me face some of the hardest battles i have ever had to fight in my life You knew a desperate man Broken Shattered Pieces You were my witness and guide Of the loss of something most precious and dear My path was intertwined with someone very special Maybe it was fated to take you on that journey with me And be bonded to it as well...i suppose You gave me comfort when life tore me apart We went on so many adventures Plenty of journeys in the spirit world anyway “I have nothing left to teach you” he said I remember that day very well “He is my best friend” you said And why shouldnt it be Good company deserves to be Merry and Kind The fireplace of the Hearth ... ..... What adventures have you been on these days my friend? What lost souls have found their way to you since then? Guided by your soft lantern’s glow In a deep forest In a little hut someplace so deep and green In a place I no longer know I think of you often I wish for you that Silence was not louder than words As this portal comes to another year passed and closed Into a window of a path you no longer chose A single leaf on water Ripples echo and fade away I wish you werent so stubborn as I But maybe thats one reason why we got along Before i go Just know that this pain in my heart is an eternal reminder Never to forget the type who can transform your entire life Thank you from the bottom of my soul Ochiba

[hoobidija]

Love is the only Truth

[hoobidija]

Heres your bday card btw

[hoobidija]

To an old friend

Happy Bday

This past year has been...well..something

i dont know how you have changed or grown since...how many years has it been?

Sometimes i wonder if i ever made a positive lasting impression on you

If our journey together has become a faded memory lost to time

Or if i have left only the taste of bitterness - for the strain i had forced you to endure

If nothing else, i hope at least this one day a year might be a window into a former life

 A few worn out pages

From a couple torn out chapters If you ever wanna catch up

ill be honest

I wont count on it But if there is anything else you think you could learn from a run down old fool

That our paths might cross again

You know where to find me - hit me up if it feels right

I hope youve made some killer memories this year And that many more good things come your way

[hoobidija]

Each memory is a stone thrown in a pond. Every year growing weaker Until the ripples fade I still want to remember But maybe it doesnt matter

if you already forgot

[hoobidija]

The echoes

of a life I know longer have continue to haunt me Why am i so thankful for these painful memories? Why do i long for those dreams every night?

[hoobidija]

Well fuck

Im still losing from saying protean hulk too many times.

[hoobidija]

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have no heart and no soul yet still live?