honorary-grunkle-smoocher

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

Are you still taking requests?

Not me writing three things and then being hit w the sad disease so hard I couldn’t get out of bed 🙄🖐 but yeah, requests are gonna be closed for now so I can catch up with the requests that are already in my inbox. Thank you so much for your patience!! :)

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

The Shimmy’s A Sham! | Stan X Reader |

//You can probably tell but this was inspired by that one scene in the grunkle dating sim... you know which one lmaoo//

//Tw alcohol consumtion//

Greasy’s is thumping with the heavy beat of 80s disco music, and even with the fruity, fizzy glass of gin you’re nursing and your eyes scanning over a primarily senior crowd, you catch yourself wondering why you’re still here. Sure, the drinks are cheap, especially so with the special discount on tonight, but you don’t feel as lively or as young (despite your age) as ad had promised.  

But then there’s a sudden hubbub of activity near the entrance of the run-down diner turned nightclub, and you can’t help further indulge in your people-watching hobbies. There are two older people, a man and a woman, both of whom you recognise. Lazy Susan, with her one faulty eyelid, looking all dressed up and buzzing with detached excitement. You could have sworn she’d been at the bar only a second ago, serving up drinks and chatting with all the patrons she knew well.

And then there’s the man; he’s dressed for Vegas, his bellbottoms subtle, but noticeable, and the gold buckle on his belt shining, even from here. His suit jacket is hanging open casually, showing off a lazily buttoned dress shirt. You can’t quite pin where you’ve seen his face before, his jaw sharp, his nose defined, with his age showing ruggedly in his skin, but you know you’d never forget a face like his.

It takes a second for you to realise you’re staring, and another to realise that he’s staring right back, and you only then notice how out of place he looks next to Lazy Susan. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, per se, but his disinterest in anything more than friendship with her seems to make him drift over to you, all the way across the diner. Reaching you, he says a few quick, quiet words to the other waitress on duty, and takes the seat next to yours with a sigh. The awkward tension is obvious immediately.

“So er, you come here often?”

You can’t help but burst out with laughter. It’s so painfully cliché of him that you press your forehead to the bar top with a chuckled groan.

“Did you really just say that to me?” you ask, bewildered and with one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, it usually works, you must be broken,” he jokes, giving the waitress a quiet thanks as she hands him his drink. “Let me start again, yeah? I’m Stan Pines.”

It suddenly hits you where you’ve seen him before. That weird little shop that you visited out in the woods with bullshit, glued-together amalgamations of horror – he was the owner. He seems to realise that you’ve clocked onto him, and a grin spreads across his cheeks.

“Yeah, don’t go swoonin’, I’m only a genius businessman,” Stan jokes, “what’s your name, sweatpea?”

“Oh, trust me, I won’t go ‘swoonin’’,” you playfully mimic him, “you robbed me of twenty dollars. And I’m (Name), sorry.”

He lets out a chuckle, insisting that it’s your own fault for being tricked by anything that makes you pay at the door with a no refunds sign on it. He’s got you there, you can’t lie.

“So, what brings you over to my gloomy little corner of the bar?” you ask finally, taking another slow sip from your drink.

The older man seems flustered all of a sudden, glancing back to where Lazy Susan is waiting patiently with a group of other women. He hesitates, tapping his large fingers against his empty glass.

“Well, I uh... I’ll be honest, I kind of just wanted to get away from Lazy Susan,” he admits, almost guiltily, “don’t get me wrong, she’s a great friend but I’m not exactly into how clingy she is already so...”

There’s silence as you wait for him to continue, though he looks like he’s struggling to put it all into words.

“Well, you looked just as bored as I thought I’d end up being, and I was hopin’ if I sidled up and danced with someone else, even if it wasn’t real, she’d take a hint, y’know?”

It takes a moment for you to realise you’re his hamster for this experiment, but hey? You aren’t doing anything, so why not go along with his weird, convoluted plan? You groan with a smile, realising how awkward he really is, despite the confidence he radiates.

“So, like, what do you want me to do?” you ask, before knocking back the rest of your gin, watching him with one eye squinted.

“Just... pretend to be my date, sweetpea, one dance should do it. It’ll be easy, I’m a great dancer,” he says, confidence regained. You shake your head with a laugh, hesitating as you tell him you’re not one for dancing. It falls on deaf ears, however, as he gets up from the barstool, offers you his hand and leads you into the dancefloor, a slower song fading in.

Suddenly Stan’s hands are at your waist, pulling you in close so your chest is pressed to his. That easy, tipsy grin is back on his lips, his eyes sparkling as you begin to sway to the soft beat and light piano of the music, hands resting on his broad shoulders.

“I think you were lyin’, sweetpea,” he chuckles into your ear, one hand moving down from your waist to the curve of your hip.

“Oh yeah? What about?”

“You can dance, look at you,” punctuating his observation by spinning you seamlessly, watching the iridescent blur of lights sink into your skin. You bloom in the gentle watercolours of red, green and purple, the spinning disco ball reflecting sharp rays perfectly against the angles of your face, and Stan feels his heart skip a beat inside his chest, thumping along to the music. Eyes open again and no longer slowly spinning, you laugh quietly. Everything feels so utterly perfect in this stranger’s strong hold, despite the slight wooziness of your vision.

The song fades away, and a more upbeat song begins to blare through the worn old speakers, and then Stan’s hands are slipping into yours, rough fingertips pushed against yours.

“How ‘bout we head back to the Shack, honey? A tour on the house,” he says with a wink, and you can’t help but snicker, resting your head against the lapels of his jacket as you mull it over.

Finally, with a charming, mischievous glint in your eyes, you reply with, “yeah sure, why not?”

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

Nightmares Abound | Stan Pines X Reader |

//Tw: insects (entomophobia), panic attack//

There are bugs in your hair, too many legs rooting around at your scalp, biting at skin and suckling at your blood with tiny mandibles. They leave an uncomfortable itch in their wake, like white hot needles pricking at you. A spider emerges from your hair, legs long and gangrenous, and a cockroach scuttles across your cheek, wings batting against your tear-stained skin. The demon cackles, his endless, unblinking stare the worst of the torture, even as maggots crawl at your fingers, biting through flesh, and flies swarm in your throat. You tremble, the pain eating away at your mind and soul, a quiet sob escaping you.

“Pain is a funny thing!” Bill exclaims, circling you with another maddened laugh, and suddenly he’s huge, his bloodshot eye all you can see, “especially on you!”

You see every nightmare you’ve ever had within his snake-like pupil, dreamt when in uncomfortably deep sleep, when being shaken awake is futile. There is the fear of loneliness clutching at your throat, shadows pulling at your skin. Bile rises in your throat, the sight wavering as tears pool at your waterline. It feels childish to be so, so afraid.

You wake with a gasp, ice cold tears falling free, despite the firm push of your fingers against your eyelids. A heartbroken sob escapes your chest. Breathing is difficult, the air feeling foreign and wrong in your lungs. Trembling fingers rake through your hair, searching for nightmare spiders that hide between the roots.

You sit up, kicking away the offending blankets that scratch against your too-hot skin and your nails dig into your own soft flesh, chest rising and falling erratically. Eyes still screwed shut, facing the endless mirror of panic behind your eyelids, you don’t even notice Stan is awake before one large, calloused hand lands at your shoulder, thumb gently tracing reassuring circles. He lets out a quiet groan of effort, reaching over to pull you in closer, his grey hair mussed and bags beneath his eyes even more prominent in the darkness.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me – just breathe, okay, sweetie?”

You slump against his chest, the thin material of his old vest soaking up your tears, clinging to his strong arms for dear life. He becomes your anchor, keeping you tied to reality.

“Hey,” Stan sighs, gripping your chin with a softness that only he could manage, and lifting your face to look into his eyes, “there’s that beautiful face. C’mon wipe away those tears, sweetheart.”

And those hands cup your face, painfully gentle against your cheeks. You sniffle, your breathing still ragged and laboured in your chest, but you manage to bring your hands up to his, fingers light.  

“Nightmare?”  

You only nod in response. Stan grunts, dragging you in close again and pulling up the covers around you, brushing his hands through your hair. Everything is quiet, soft, as you calm down in his arms, hiccupping quietly.

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

Naiad of the Brook | Ford Pines x Reader |

The Gravity Falls air is crisp and sweet in Stanford Pines’ throat, the breeze a little more insistent against his back as he trudges through foliage in his battered old boots. Crickets chirp their midnight song, hidden within tall grass and fallen summer leaves, perfectly camouflaged amongst nature’s vibrant beauty and the pressing darkness of night. He carries on, twigs snapping atop life-filled soil, until he parts the curtains of overhanging branches, clearing the way to the nearby babbling brook.  

The moon lights up the path to the stream, slightly raised stones with cracks stuffed with wet, clambering moss and daisies peeking through strands of dewdrop-laden grass. The brook is something out of a fairy tale each time Ford visits, red toadstools clustered near the trunks of towering trees, forming circles, stones with curved ancient runes that foretell long dead prophecies and a crumbling throne of rock, vines of ivy entangled throughout its struggling foundations, though he supposes he should be used to this kind of thing by now. He settles one knee at the edge of the water, shifting his glasses further up his defined nose, and plunges one six-fingered hand into the shallow current, collecting a decent handful of sparkling pebbles. Picking a near perfectly flat stone, he skips it with well-practised precision across the calm surface of the water and waits patiently.

The ripples travel gracefully across the gentle stream, and from them a pair of yellow eyes blink slowly, pupils slitted as they stare up at him. From the water you rise, hair clinging to your skin, the thin white chiffon of your gown just barely covering your cleavage.

“Stanford,” you greet him with a smile, raking a delicate hand through your wet hair.

“Naiad of the brook,” he nods formally, making you scoff.

“I don’t know why I ever expect you to speak to me as though I am your friend, Stanford. You’ve known me long enough to call me (Name).”

“Formality is a reflex, dear,” Ford chuckles, “you never know when a nymph might bite your head off, it’s best to be cautious.”

“And do I look like a nymph that does that sort of thing?”

“I’d prefer not to answer that.”

You let out a playfully offended cry and flick water at him, scrunching up your nose and scowling at him. It doesn’t take long for you both to begin to update one another on your lives – you learn of his many recent adventures since exiting the portal, and his great niece and nephew, both of which you take a mental note to pay closer attention to, and you rant about the nearby ash tree nymphs, with their wildness and how they enjoy to tease the manotaurs closer to your sacred grounds just to annoy you. Ford laughs as you describe having to beat away one of the curious brutes with promises of a curse upon his whole tribe and a piece of driftwood.

“Honestly, Stanford, if there’s one thing I wish never existed it’d have to be those damn horny cretins!” you groan, fiddling with a particularly pretty pebble.

“If you’ve got a manotaur problem on your hands, (Name), you could always come to Dipper and I. He’s becoming quite the anomaly hunter, I dare say,” he offers, a proud waver in his low voice. You assure him you will, before letting a still, comfortable silence fill the air.

Silences with Ford are always rather peaceful, simply basking in one another’s presence and listening to nature’s symphony. The frogs croak their happy melodies, nested inside a cool, damp log, and the breeze rustles through leaves and branches like a twirling ballerina, prancing across a stage. You look up to the moon, half of her pale face protected by a lacy fan of shadow and night, her entourage of glittering stars dancing around her. It makes you wonder when you will join her hall of ballroom dancers, still plagued by the soft grasp of youth, despite being near a century old. You’re jealous of Ford in that way; his features match his wisdom; sharp, though aged beautifully, and you fear you will forever be painted as a rosy-cheeked young woman, with false promises of naivety and dumb innocence on your lips. The gods laugh at your fruitless longing for mortality.

“(Name).”

The low timbre of his voice drags you from your thoughts as you meet his gaze. His dark eyes are blown behind his lenses, one cracked with, no doubt, a decent story to go along with it. He reaches out, his large hand tucking your hair behind your pointed ear.  

“Yes?”

There’s a flustered blush at the tips of Ford’s ears and he averts his eyes, instead focusing on a tiny neon tetra and the rest of its school, swimming along with the current. He finally clears his throat and turns to you again.

There’s a moment where you’re both completely still. He struggles, bringing his hand to run through his hair. You can no longer handle the tension, the horrid feeling seeping in through your cold skin and nibbling at your squirming insides.

You grab his raised hand, pressing your palm to his. Your touch is firm, reassuring, and after a moment he clasps his larger hand around yours, holding it with such sincerity that your heart struggles behind your reed-entangled ribcage.

But then the hesitation is back, and Ford looks troubled. His wrinkles deepen and he looks away again, removing his warm hand from yours. The sudden rejection takes a seat in your heart and mind, its burden heavy already.

“I must be going,” he states gruffly. He only receives a nod from you, your throat too preoccupied with a lump, preventing a witty or teasing remark from escaping you.

He leaves, his footprints in the soft soil a reminder of him, even as you climb further from the stream to slump into your ancient, decaying throne.  

“What are you so afraid of?”  

Your question hangs in the cold air, left unanswered for another visit from Stanford Pines.

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

Hi!! I’m a shameless grunkle fucker! I’m currently accepting requests, both sfw and nsfw. I’ll do drabbles, oneshots and headcanons. Here are the prompt lists I’ve reblogged:

SFW

NSFW

Send an ask!! :)

Edit: Requests closed for now!!

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

WRITING PROMPTS

WRITING PROMPTS FOR DAYS Feel free to request any of these for any character.

1. “Do you want me to leave?” 2. “I swear it won’t happen again.” 3. “I’m not jealous.” 4. “You can’t keep doing this.” 5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” 6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” 7. “You did what?!” 8. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 9. “Don’t ask me that.” 10. “I might have had a few shots.” 11. “What’s with the box?” 12. “Say it!” 13. “I could kiss you right now!” 14. “Are you done with that?” 15. “Are you still awake…?” 16. “Excuse you?” 17. “This is all your fault!” 18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.” 19. “I could kill you right now!” 20. “Just admit I’m right.” 21. “That doesn’t even make sense.” 22. “That’s irrational.” 23. “Just pretend to be my date.” 24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” 25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!” 26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.” 27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.” 28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” 29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” 30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.” 31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!” 32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” 34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.” 35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.” 36. “Did I say that out loud?” 37. “Do you think they could have loved me?” 38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” 39. “How long have you been standing there?” 40. “Have I ever lied to you?” 41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” 42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.” 43. “I am not losing you again!” 44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” 45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 46. “I just need to be alone right now.” 47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.” 48. “I made a mistake.” 49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.” 50. “I need you to forgive me.” 51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.” 52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.” 53. “I’m flirting with you.” 54. “I’m not good enough for you.” 55. “I fell in love with my best friend.” 56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” 57. “I’m up to the challenge.” 58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.” 59. “I’m yours.” 60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.” 61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!” 62. “It’s okay to cry…” 63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!” 64. “Talk to me.” 65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?” 66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.” 67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” 68. “Well, this is where I live.” 69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.” 70. “What are you afraid of?” 71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” 72. “You deserve so much better.” 73. “You don’t have to stay.” 74. “You don’t know you the way I do.” 75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” 76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” 77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!” 78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” 79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” 80. “Teach me?” 81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” 82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.” 83. “Just once.” 84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” 85. “It’s not what it looks like.” 86. “I got you a present.” 87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!” 88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.” 89. “You’re the best part of me.” 90. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.” 91. “Can I hold your hand?” 92. “Let’s move in together.” 93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.” 94. “What time is it?” 95. “Just wait a second.” 96. “Here, let me.” 97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.” 98. “Hold me back!’ 99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!” 100. “I adore you.”

[honorary-grunkle-smoocher]

100 Smut Dialogue Prompts

1) “You know, you always look so much better when I mark you up.” 2) “You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat.” 3) “How do you feel about adding another person to the mix?” 4) “You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught.” 5) “You look good all soaking wet.” 6) “Are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you.” 7) “Oh my god you’re so much better than the last person I was with.” 8) “If you’re going to act like a little brat then I’m going to treat you like a little brat.” 9) “I don’t care how good it feels you’d better not cum until I tell you to.” 10) “Look, I’m not into choking but I wouldn’t mind if you grabbed me by the neck every once in a while.” 11) “I bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you. We’ll see how cute you look later when I get you home.” 12) “You don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily.” 13) “Touch yourself for me.” 14) “Do you think you deserve to be punished?” 15) “You take my fingers so well don’t you?” 16) “Shut up and take your pants off.” 17) “When I get home I expect you to be undressed and waiting on all fours for me.” 18) “Are you wearing my shirt?” 19) “Do you need me to finger you first?” 20) “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.” 21) “Did I stutter? Do as you’re told!” 22) “Look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.” 23) “I can’t wait to be on my knees for you later.” 24) “Maybe if I punish you it’ll help you remember who you belong to next time.” 25) “Do you want it on your back or would you like to be on your stomach?” 26) “Suck on my fingers and get them nice and wet for me.” 27) “Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.” 28) “If you keep making those sounds I’m not going to be able to stop myself.” 29) “Take it off. Slowly.” 30) “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” 31) “Why don’t you go put on something pretty for me?” 32) “Kitten, don’t make me tell you twice.” 33) “Pushing back against my fingers already? How pathetic.” 34) “I love the sounds you make when you come undone.” 35) “Maybe I should get you a collar so you don’t forget who you belong to.” 36) “You’d better watch your fucking mouth.” 37) “Did I say you could stop?” 38) “I need you. Now!” 39) “I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use?” 40) “I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” 41) “You keep acting like a little brat and I’ll take you over my knee right here, I don’t care how many people are watching.” 42) “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.” 43) “Don’t you want to play with me? 44) "Yes! I mean yes, Sir!” 45) “When we get home I’m cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night until my jaw is sore.” 46) “Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?” 47) “You deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?” 48) “I can’t wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin.” 49) “You look so good on your knees like that.” 50) “I only want to please you.” 51) “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” 52) “Are you going to be good from now on?” 53) “Is that a tattoo?” 54) “These walls are pretty thick, which means you and I can be as loud as we want.” 55) “Well, since you want to cum so badly, why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.” 56) “Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you.” 57) “I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now.” 58) “Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.” 59) “So desperate for it, aren’t you? Well, if you want it so bad you’d better start taking it.” 60) “Please? I’ll be good, I promise!” 61) “If you don’t change out of those shorts and into some pants I’ll have them around your ankles by lunch time.” 62) “I bet all our neighbors can hear you, I bet they all know what a dirty little slut you are.” 63) “Open your mouth.” 64) “I never knew someone could cum that fast just from a few fingers.” 65) “Pull my hair!” 66) “If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I’m going to bend you over that bed.” 67) “If you want to cum you’d better beg.” 68) “You know I don’t like to be teased.” 69) “Come here, baby, let Mommy/Daddy take care of you.” 70)  "Say my name over and over again and, once you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.“ 71) "I’m gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you’re spreading your legs for me.” 72) “Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that?” 73) “I wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it.” 74) “Wow, I think you’re blushing even redder than the vibrator inside you.” 75) “You know, you look real pretty when you cry.” 76) “I think I like you better with a gag in your mouth.” 77) “Tell me what you like.” 78) “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.” 79) “Look at you, grinding against everything, you’re really desperate for it. Aren’t you?” 80) “How do you feel about two at once?�� 81) “Is that a thong?” 82) “Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” 83) “Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you?” 84) “I love it when you dress up for me.” 85) “Did you dress up just for me?” 86) “Let me show you what happens to little brats who don’t follow the rules.” 87) “Think you can handle that much?” 88) “Mmm, good morning to you too.” 89) “Just pull the car over!” 90) “What’s wrong? I thought you liked teasing.” 91) “Aww, is my little princess/prince getting shy?” 92) “Come on, take it all on your own like a good little pet.” 93) “It’s okay, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I’m between your legs.” 94) “Be a good girl/boy and do what I tell you.” 95) “That tickles.” 96) “Were you touching yourself without permission?” 97) “I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this.” 98) “I see the gift I got you fits well.” 99) “You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.” 100) “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.”