holmesandtheroman

[holmesandtheroman]

idk if it's just me but i'm glad that the majority of people outside of here believe tumblr is a dead site because like i've been here for 13 years and like this is my house??? i don't need thousands upon thousands of people flocking here it'd be like inviting chimps to a house party total fucking carnage

[holmesandtheroman]

[holmesandtheroman]

I genuinely think there was no greater insight into the modern Christian mindset than when the Pope said he very much hoped Hell was empty and he was absolutely hounded by both Catholics and Protestants outraged at the idea of a man who wanted a place of infinite suffering to have nobody in it.

[holmesandtheroman]

These posts are cousins to me.

[holmesandtheroman]

THE SWIMMING PIC HAS ME SOBBING 😭😭

[holmesandtheroman]

Why are streaming services these days all named shit like Fubi and Hehu and lala

[holmesandtheroman]

“tik tok is brainrot I’m glad it’s getting deleted” YOU are ignoring an early warning sign of fascism bc silly dances and asmr annoys u. tik tok ban is a part of a MUCH bigger bill that indicates any foreign app, if deemed a threat, can be banned if the owner does not sell it. aka the government is mad bc they cannot censor & their capitalist puppet masters are mad they aren’t making money from it. and if ur ok w that……hm

[holmesandtheroman]

boyfriend asked what i was doing, told him i was editing a picture, boyfriend asked "is it something like house stretched out with the words 'menstrual blood' on it or some shit?", boyfriend was wrong, boyfriend was also onto something this goes hard

[holmesandtheroman]

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

[holmesandtheroman]

I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.

[holmesandtheroman]

I could run Tesla but Musk could never write an award winning TV pilot with a Masters degree in screenwriting

[holmesandtheroman]

TV show: This is a TV show called Shits&Farts. It is about shits, & farts. The main characters are two men named Shit, & Fart. They tell shit & fart jokes to each other for the whole twenty-minute runtime.

at least one person you follow on tumblr, instantly: omfg im WITHERING from last nights ep….. the dynamic between shit & fart is so fucking  tense and erotic……im still fucking sobbing i hate my sweet babies….. why do they treat each other like this im fucking BATHING IN ACID….. its so good…….. im EMBALMING MYSELF and then DESECRATING MY OWN CORPSE…..

[holmesandtheroman]

[holmesandtheroman]

Honestly I miss the energy Tumblr had when the first Pacfic Rim movie came out. Everybody was talking about who they were drift compatible with and that was like a huge compliment. Ppl were drawing Kaijus, and Jaegers, naming ‘em. It was a better time

[holmesandtheroman]

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

[holmesandtheroman]

*giant wind gust outside*

Me: “Don’t say it.”

My Brain:

[holmesandtheroman]

Hey is there a crisis line that will actually help and make you feel better? I tried the one that came up on google but it wasn’t helpful and it just seemed like I was just a quota