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holmesandtheroman · 24 days ago

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The Empty Place Where Love Should Be – Abner Krill x Fem!Reader

Chapter 9

A/N: I don't really have an excuse as to why I'm updating so late. I'm sorry. In any case, please enjoy if you can. If you like, you can check out this update and the rest of the chapters on AO3 here.

WARNING: This contains content that IMPLIES PAST SEXUAL ABUSE/INCEST. If this is not something you wish to read, please SKIP. Don't come at me in my messages.

The waiter brought wine for the table and poured a glass for both of you. You smiled at Abner, who seemed to still be a bit worried about you potentially walking out on the date.

“Have you ever had this before? Moscato?” you asked as you picked up your glass to inspect the burgundy liquid.

Abner shook his head. “Mother never allows me to drink alcohol. It kind of smells bitter to me, anyway.”

“Well,” you replied. “This is a very sweet wine. I don’t like very bitter things either.”

You lifted the glass over the table to his side. He stared at the glass in puzzlement. You realized he had never toasted before.

“Salud,” you said, reaching down to clink his glass. He hurriedly picked up his glass and clinked it to yours. You smiled and took a sip, him mirroring your actions.

Abner let the wine coat his tongue as he tasted it for the first time. His eyes widened and he took a larger sip.

“Do you like it?” you asked with a chuckle. He nodded, taking another sip. “Be careful, pace yourself. You don’t want to get pissed on your first go.”

Abner nodded and set the glass down, licking his lips. He glanced up at you, his face blushing suddenly, and averted his gaze quickly. He began to worry his fingernails in silence.

You watched him and matched his silence, a pleasant expression still on your face. However, his sudden silence had not gone unnoticed by you. Was he regretting the date? Did he wish it was over already? You didn’t think you had said anything to offend him.

As if he read your mind, he spoke up. “Sorry… I don’t know how to talk on a date… I…” his voice trailed off.

You chuckled. “It’s difficult on first dates, even when you’ve had plenty of them.” He looked up at you. “We can talk about anything you like really. In fact, I’ve got a question.”

Abner’s eyebrows perked up.

“Why do you like materials science?”

A small smile flashed on the corner of Abner’s lips as he sat up a bit straighter. "Oh, um, well, I… I first read the book that I told you about when I was really little, but I didn’t really understand it at first. I… I kind of liked not understanding it. It was like… like the words didn’t mean anything, but they could mean anything. And then the more I read, the more I understood about what makes up everything around us, and then I wanted to help make the things around us, and–“

He stopped short and blinked as if he was coming out of a trance. He swallowed harshly and sat back in his seat. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

You frowned. “No, why did you stop?”

Abner shook his head. “You’re probably getting really bored listening to me talk and talk.”

“Abner, you barely said anything before you stopped!” You reached across the table to place your hand on top of his. “Keep going, I like to hear you talk about things you love.”

He looked down at your hand softly caressing his, and then back up at you. You smiled at him, which seemed to give him the courage to start up again.

He talked at length about how eventually he began to find an interest in taking apart things and building them up again. Abner explained that he liked to make little mechanical inventions, but that, because of his limited resources, they would always break after a little use. He wrote down his inventions and blueprints in a notebook he kept hidden, just in case. He never said what that case might have been, but you had a small inkling you knew all the same.

“What’s one of the coolest things you’ve invented?” you asked Abner in between his sentences.

Abner thought for a moment, and then his eyes lit up even more. “Um, I haven’t actually built it yet, but… I think it’s…” He cocked his head to the side. “It has to do with…” He lowered his voice, almost as if he were expecting you to recoil at his words. “The dots.”

“Oh,” you whispered, looking hopeful that perhaps the ailment he had shown you earlier that evening would no longer be able to hurt him.

“They’re these… cuffs that would go around my arms,” he said, miming around his wrists. “And they would be a sort of expulsion system that would take them and expel them in a less painful, more controlled way.” His face fell a bit. “I don’t think it would ever really work…”

“Don’t say that, of course, it would,” you interrupted.

He shook his head. “It wouldn’t work in the sense that… it could… it could hurt other people,” he said quietly. Your puzzled expression prompted him to explain. He leaned in closer, but before he spoke, he shut his eyes. “If this gets to be too much, I won’t blame you for leaving.”

“I’m not leaving, Abner. I promise.” His shiny black eyes met yours. “You’re stuck with me,” you joked.

“The dots… when they come out, they’re actually… corrosive. I can’t figure out a way to get rid of them without hurting other people.”

You blinked. “So you either have to hurt others with them or–“

“Or get rid of them the way I have been.” Abner nodded. “It’s better for me to be in pain than to hurt others.”

You leaned back in your seat. “Fuck,” you whispered. Abner sat back as well and looked away in silence. “It’s too bad you couldn’t be like Superman or whatever. You’d make for a pretty badass superhero.” You tried to lighten the mood.

“Mother says I’d be too deadly to be one,” he replied.

“Superman has fucking laser vision! And then there was that one guy who can burst into flame!”

Abner winced. “He was arrested for murder.”

“Shit, OK, not him. But, I think as long as you use your powers for good, you could be a superhero, right?”

Your conversation was interrupted by the waiter bringing out your food. You had ordered a mushroom risotto while Abner went for basic spaghetti with meat sauce. You both thanked the waiter, who then scurried off to his other patrons.

“My dots aren’t really powers. They’re just… a part of my failures.” Abner picked at his food.

You pursed your lips as you looked down at your risotto. You had suddenly lost your appetite. You had not meant to bring his mood down or bring up superheroes. It did not even occur to you until just now how superheroes might be a sensitive topic for him, especially since that was what his mother was trying to do to him.

“I’m sorry, Abner,” you said without looking up. “I shouldn’t have said anything about superheroes. That was shitty of me.” Even though you felt sick to your stomach, you pushed a bite of risotto into your mouth.

After a while, you heard Abner speak up. “I never really considered that I could still be a superhero, even with the dots,” he said quietly.

You finally looked up at him to see him smiling at you. So he wasn’t upset. You breathed a sigh of relief as you smiled back.

After a friendly squabble about who would pay the bill (you mutually decided to pay for your own meals), you and Abner stepped out of the restaurant and into the dim street. Your heart pounded, desperately not wanting the night to end but not knowing if Abner would want to come back to your place for a nightcap. Of course, you knew it was probably too soon to invite him back to your place (first date and all that), but you wondered if he felt the same.

“What time do you have to be back?” you asked Abner. You figured that was a safe enough question to gauge what you should ask next.

He took out his little flip phone to check the time. “I don’t have to be back to Mother for another hour and a half, really.” He shuffled his feet nervously and looked down. “Do you…” he started. “Do you think we could…?”

“Go back to my place?” you finished softly. He smiled hopefully. “Yeah, of course!” You gently took Abner’s hand and began to lead him in the direction of your apartment.

Your stomach flipped in nerves and excitement. It was so silly… you had brought plenty of men back to your place for a drink after a date, but this time you felt as though there was much more at stake. Too forward and you could scare him off and potentially cause him mental distress. Too distant and he might think you did not like him or did not want to be in a relationship anymore. Apart from that, the fact that Abner even suggested this turn of events caused a warmth to radiate from your chest.

You fumbled with your keys a bit once you reached your apartment door, your heart pounding furiously. Shyness had begun to take root for whatever reason, but you opened the door and allowed Abner to follow you in, just like the last time he came over.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you told him. You turned on the lights and locked the door behind you. “Would you like some tea? Or perhaps something a little stronger?”

Abner smiled, his cheeks turning a soft rose color. “I think just tea. I don’t want to overdo it tonight.”

You winked and went to the kitchen to start on the tea. You glanced up now and again to see Abner carefully making his way around your living area to examine bits and bobs of your personality shining through your decor. He made his way over to a corner where your barely-used brand new record player sat, gathering dust.

“What kind of music do you like?” you asked him, noticing his interest in the player. He looked up.

“I don’t really know. Mother doesn’t play a lot of music for us. It’s mostly the TV that’s on,” he replied. “What about you?”

“Oh, I love 40s music. The kind that you can dance to. I mean, I also like pop and rock and all that, but when I just want to relax and daydream, I put on Vera Lynn or Glenn Miller.” You smiled to yourself. “It’s so cliché, but I love ‘Moonlight Serenade.’ Have you heard that one?”

Abner shook his head. “I don’t think so…”

You abandoned the tea and made your way into the living area. “You might have heard it but not the name. It’s a really popular one.” You took out a record from your storage underneath the player. “My mum got me a 40s hits record for the player.” You unsheathed the record and carefully placed it on the turntable.

In just a moment, the soft opening of ‘Moonlight Serenade’ began to play. You turned to look at Abner with a grin. He listened to it for a moment and then matched your smile.

“I have heard this before,” he said. “I like it.”

“Yeah, it’s so soft and gentle. It can make you forget everything going on in the world for a few moments,” you replied. You inched closer to him and took his hands to place them on your hips. He gazed at you, a little confused, until you wrapped your arms around his neck and began to sway.

“Have you ever danced before?” you asked quietly, your eyes meeting his before he quickly glanced down.

His cheeks reddened as he shook his head. “N-no, not really. I’m sorry if I step on your feet. I’m a klutz.”

You chuckled and brought one of your hands down to cup his cheek, and you felt him shiver beneath your touch. You caressed your thumb across the apple of his cheek, and soon, Abner relaxed into your hand and closed his eyes.

He muttered something beneath his breath and turned his face to nuzzle into your palm.

“What was that?” you asked.

Abner swallowed thickly, his eyelids fluttering as a hot tear streaked down his face. “Why me? Why would you love me of all the people in the world?”

You brushed his tear away with your thumb and gently guided his head so that he was facing you again. His black eyes met yours. “Why not you?”

Abner inhaled to speak, but no words left his mouth. Instead, you both met each other’s lips. His movements were unsure at first, but when you instinctually slipped your tongue past his lips, you could feel Abner gain confidence. He rested his hands on your hips, subconsciously pulling you closer to him. You nipped at his lower lip and a slight sound came from his throat.

You parted for air, and his soft, dark eyes met yours. You saw something in his gaze that you had never seen from him before: desperate desire.

Before you could ask if he wanted to continue, Abner frantically began to kiss you again. This forwardness shocked you, but you were all too happy to oblige him. He was definitely inexperienced, but all you wanted in this moment was for him to take what he wanted– needed– from you.

You felt him blindly guiding the both of you to the couch, and he stumbled backward onto the cushions. Not missing a beat, you straddled his lap, sighing as he trailed kisses down your jawline and to your neck.

A familiar sensation sparked in your lower belly, your hips moving of their own accord. You suddenly felt his hardness against your heat, and he gasped sharply. Chuckling, you reached down, palming his cock through the fabric of his pants. Your vision skipped as the thought of him inside you sent a shard of pleasure straight down.

Abner’s breath came in wild spurts, his eyes blown black at your touch. “I- oh, g- fuck- ah-“ his vocalizations nothing but a string of unintelligible words. Trembling, he sucked in a sharp breath. A strangled cry then came from him unexpectedly, and you jerked your head back to see Abner’s eyes squeezed shut, his mouth in an ‘o’ shape. Abner jerked his hips jaggedly, another whimper coming from his lips.

You started to ask if he was all right, but he finally opened his eyes, mortification spreading across his features. His eyes went wide as his hips stilled, and they grew watery.

“I-“ he started. “I’m s-sorry, I’m so sorry, I-“ he stuttered.

The realization hit you and you glanced down between you. The crotch of his pants was stained dark. Oh.

“I didn’t mean to… I-I don’t know what happened-“

“Abner.”

“I’m so- I should go, I’m sorry!”

“Abner!” you said as you took his face in your hands. Tears spilled from his eyes; he did not look in yours. “It’s OK, sweetheart. It’s all right. You did fine.”

He began to shake his head. “No, I-I-I got ahead of myself and I couldn’t control it and it’s just that no one’s ever touched me like that in a good way and, oh, god, I fudged everything up and-“

“Shh,” you hushed as you pressed your forehead against his as you petted his hair. “I’m not upset. It’s OK. It happens, all right? You’re not the first one to do that and you certainly won’t be the last.”

You heard him sniff loudly. “But you didn’t even get to… I couldn’t do that for you, I’m sorry.”

You pressed a soft kiss over his tear-stained cheek. “It’s OK, you don’t have to worry about me. There are other ways.”

Abner pulled back. “Other ways?”

You nodded, smiling. How much did he not know? Or rather, how much did he know?

“We don’t have to do that tonight, though,” you said, shifting over to the couch cushion next to him.

Abner sat up. “No, what kind of other ways? Please…” he begged. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” His glassy eyes met yours.

You swallowed. The last thing you wanted was for him to be uncomfortable, but he was so eager for you to be pleased.

You finally reached out to take his hand, guiding it underneath your dress and towards your panties. His face burned bright red, but he did not pull away. You pressed his fingertips to the crotch of your underwear and watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed when he met your wetness.

“Have you ever touched someone here?” you asked quietly, trying to gauge what might be racing through his head. You could practically see his thoughts flooding his mind.

Abner’s black eyes blinked, locked on your grip, and he did not attempt to answer you. You stopped your guidance of his hand.

“Abner, is this all right?” you asked, your voice edging with concern.

At the sound of his name, Abner finally gazed up at you, tentatively placing his free hand on your hip. He gently pulled you downward towards his waiting hand, his digits pushing aside the damp cloth that separated you both.

“Show me what to do,” he murmured. “Please.”

You swallowed harshly and nodded. “I forgot,” your words coming out deeper than you expected. “Before we start…” You dragged his hand back up, and, your eyes locked with his, you slowly brought his two middle fingers to your lips and drew them in. Abner’s eyes blew out, his mouth trembling as you laved your hot tongue around his fingers to thoroughly lubricate them.

With a slight pop, you withdrew his fingers from your mouth and guided them back down to their original position. The pads of his fingers met your spongy heat as you pushed them further.

“Keep your hand there, all right? Don’t move it unless I tell you to,” you instructed gently. Abner nodded, and you sank down onto his fingers, a hiss slicing through your teeth. At that noise, Abner slightly twitched his hand in hesitation; a moan escaped your throat, as he had inadvertently hit your spot.

“A-are you OK? Did I hurt you?” Abner stuttered frantically.

You shook your head, “No, not at all, darling.” You smiled cheekily. “Quite the opposite, in fact… Now, I’m going to start moving, all right? Try to match my rhythm, if you can. Can you do that?”

Abner nodded. “I just don’t want to hurt you…”

“Abner, you could never hurt me,” you whispered to him. You leaned forward to kiss him and then began to roll your hips.

His slender fingers stretched you in just the right way, and some deep, carnal voice told you that it was as if his hands were perfectly molded to fuck you and you alone. You brought your lips to the crook of his neck, soft kisses pressing against his skin.

You panted heavily, your hips and legs almost giving out on you. It seemed as if Abner instinctually knew you were getting tired, as he started to pump his fingers in and out of you. His pace stuttered clumsily at first, but with a few whispered encouragements, he kept going.

“Yes, that’s it,” you murmured into his ear. “Good…” You could feel him shudder at the praise and slightly twitch against your thigh. You smiled into his shoulder, filing away that information for a later date.

“Now, add this…” you instructed as you reached down to position his thumb on your clit. The pad of his thumb barely ghosted across your nub and–

“Fuck,” you sighed, much louder than you expected.

Abner stopped his ministrations. “Did I hurt-“

“Keep going!” you cried out, begging for his movement again. You clenched around his fingers to encourage him.

“Oh, f-fuck, you’re so tight,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

A sound escaped your throat that you honestly never thought you could make. Your walls clenched desperately around Abner’s digits, again and again, your pleasure crashing into you like a tsunami. You realized your voice and lips were forming Abner’s name; he did this to you. He brought you to this moment of unfettered pleasure. And you realized that you only wanted him to do it ever again.

Your chest heaved against his, trying to catch your runaway breath. Abner was still against you, and you wondered what he was thinking. Was he mortified? Did he hate it? Did he think that this was the worst thing ever?

Your questions subsided when you felt a soft hand against the back of your head, his fingers threading through your hair to caress you. You smiled and threaded your arm around his neck.

You heard a long, soft inhale next to your ear. Abner sighed contentedly. “You smell amazing…” he whispered. “Like…”

“Like…?” you interjected when he did not continue.

His eyes raked over your countenance, searching as if the words would be written on your face. “Like… everything. And nothing I’ve ever experienced. You smell…” He then shook his head. “It’s stupid, never mind.”

You chuckled. “Abner, whatever it is, I promise you it’s not. What do I smell like?” you encouraged him, reaching to stroke his soft and reddening cheek.

He looked down, and his voice came out small. “You smell how I imagine Vronsky to smell like.”

Your breath caught. You were his Vronsky. So that meant he was your Anna.

He took your silence as disapproval apparently, because panic lit his features suddenly. “But Vronsky at the beginning and only at the beginning, not him at the end when he turns mean. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that-“

You placed your cheek against his and gently shushed him in his ear until he stopped babbling. “Shh, it’s all right. I know what you meant, Abner. You’re ok.”

You felt his fingers pull out of you, the sudden emptiness surprising you. You clenched around nothing and pushed yourself closer to Abner’s body.

“I…I, um…” he murmured. You sat up and found him awkwardly holding up his hand, his fingers drenched in you.

“Oh, let me go get a towel,” you said, smiling at him. You stood and padded away to the bathroom.

Not long afterward, Abner had cleaned himself up as best as he could and sped home, seeing the late hour (he had told you so and said goodbye to you, of course).

When he got home, his mother was still drugged out in her bed. He sighed in relief; he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to drug her again for so long. He had convinced her to let him go out on a walk but had ground up one of her pills into some coffee grinds that were all ready for her so that she would make her evening cup of decaf coffee. Whether or not she made it and drank it had been left up to fate, and Abner’s fear about that niggled in the back of his mind the entire night.

Now, he was standing underneath the hot water of his shower, trying as much as he could to wash off what he thought was the obvious stench of sexual activities.

You had been so gentle and understanding with him. He was sure that when that had happened you were going to recoil in disgust and kick him out without ever wanting to see him again. He had not meant to… but you were just so beautiful.

Abner felt his blood rush to his penis, hardening again just at the thought of you. You with your gorgeous eyes and soft hair and lovely lips and… Abner shuddered as his mind’s eye envisioned the rest of you, your breasts and your curves…

Abner’s cheeks flushed further against the heat of the steamy water as his hand wrapped around his length. He stifled a moan. He hadn’t fully seen your body tonight, but his imagination was running wild. What would you look like in a skin-tight dress? How would you gaze at him when you slowly peeled it down, exposing yourself to him inch by inch?

He pumped his cock jerkily, a light whimper forcing its way past his lips… lips… your lips. God, your lips around his cock, and your big beautiful eyes looking up at him.

Abner gasped as his hand moved faster, up and down his shaft. He placed his free hand against the wet shower wall to hold himself up. His imagination ran wild…

He imagined you pushing him down onto your bed, your thighs straddling him and caging him in. Your fist tangling itself in his hair, jerking it down and holding it fast against the bed as you claimed his mouth, cheeks, throat with your lips.

“Such a good little boy for me,” he imagined your voice dark and breathy against his ear.

Abner curled his free hand into a fist and bit down on his knuckles to press back what was assuredly a moan that would wake up all of Gotham.

He imagined how you would finally, finally end his suffering and sink down onto his cock… would you be rough and quick? Or would you take him slowly, feeling you stretch around him, your own groans coming from deep within you?

How long would you torture him still, riding his desperate cock until he was a watery puddle beneath you, squirming and pleading for his own release?

“Good boy, Abner.”

Abner felt his teeth split the skin of his knuckle as he uttered a strangled cry. He bucked into his hand, his balls tightening as he shot ropes of cum down the shower drain. His thoughts scattered; in fact, he wasn’t even sure he was alive anymore, let alone a conscious person. Electricity kept jolting through his entire frame while his orgasm surged.

As he rode out his high, the hot water awoke him from his reverie. His legs, feeling a bit like jelly, threatened to give out from underneath him, so he just sat down, the water falling on him like a warm midsummer rain.

Abner drew his knees close to his body, smiling to himself but also unsure if he was crying.

His first orgasm. No, his first proper orgasm.

His first proper orgasm without his mother in the room.

Tagging: @maximumcoffeeme @asmuo @bimboshaggy @chaoticace22 @l-wannabe-l @thedumbbrunette0-0 @lennyb0benny @ravendast @gonzosestrangedbrother @kennedywxlsh @jupiters--moonxx @glytchfic @therakshawolf @calaco-el-mexa

#the suicide squad #abner krill #abner krill x reader #polka dot man #polka dot man x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #dice #david dastmalchian

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