hollygadunka - Tumblr blog

hollygadunka · 1 year

Text

How Long in Twilight Waiting Long for The Rising Sun/I'm Right Here With You

Her bones ached, the new wounds from Ivarr reminding her the failure of saving Ceolbert from the Boneless' twisted means. The wood of her longship doesn't do any justice for her back after being thrown off the edge by Ivarr's strong grip. The boat floats, surrounded by the lush forests of green on each side of it, and the water sparkling, reflecting off the stars in the night sky.

She stares off into the dark blue above her, the only thing keeping her warm is the Raven Clan flag. Eivor can't sleep; her mind run amok, reliving Ceolbert's untimely death, not reaching him fast enough. She blames herself for his death, not going with him when he went hunting. She wishes she went with him, to protect the boy, who had come to be like a son to her. She hates the fact Ivarr planted his death just to kill Rhodri, the thought of him now turning her stomach.

A sigh escapes her lungs, a frown pulling on her lips, her arm acting as a pillow behind her head, golden locks flowing like the sun fanning over her arm. The only thing she's happy for is that she'll see Siv again, and the monster that is Ivarr is on his way to Outcast Island.

Her eyes finally close, sending her into an uneasy and restless sleep.

Upon waking the following morning, she is woken gently by Yrsa shaking her shoulder just barely. Despite the gentleness, Eivor still wakes with a start, something that has followed her since Siv was taken back in Norway. The crew landed at the dock of Ravensthorpe, and the others were awake. But who took over?

Eivor rubs the tiredness from her blue eyes, slowly pulling herself to her feet. It was like her weight shifted upon standing, her sore and aching muscles bearing down on her. Her body still aches, and she is sure that bruises formed beneath her armor. "Who took over?"

"I did," Freydis makes herself known, stepping from the back of the longship. She looked beaten, but not as bad as Eivor, nor as bad as she looks. "You needed to sleep. Ivarr really took it out of you, and Yrsa would've had my head if I took the risk of waking you."

"Freydis, it is fine," the young mother waves it off. "I would do the same thing." Granted, she does do the same thing.

Freydis gives her a small nod. She and Yrsa helps Eivor from the ship to the dock. She is mildly unsteady, thankful for her two supports helping her over, and thankful for being on solid ground once again.

"You should go and see Valka," Yrsa's eyes are clouded over with concern for her oldest friend. "See if she can brew some of her herbal teas for your muscles."

"I'll head that way soon, I need to go collect my daughter from Hytham," the young mother's eyes turn towards the green roof of the Hidden Ones Bureau, her voice deepened from the wolf damaging her vocal chords.

She'd asked the Hidden One beforehand to look after Siv while she was away, not wanting Randvi looking after her while fretting over the Alliance Map and wondering when Sigurd would be back. Watching the babe would just put more stress on her plate, and she didn't want that.

"Alright. Be careful, then."

"Always." Which isn't always true in her line of work.

The way up to the green hut takes the breath out of her, her lungs burning with each step. She wants to see her babe before she gets bandaged, wants to told her and never let her go. Losing Ceolbert opened her eyes to the protection and love to her people and Siv, and she knew why Ivarr is such a bad person, thankful that he's now rotting away behind the bars of Outcast. She prays that he never gets out.

"Eivor, here is your little one," the Hidden One breaks her from her thoughts, catching her climb up the steps. He notices her look and grows concerned. "Uh, Eivor, is everything alright?" His hand rests on her bracer.

Eivor shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking. I'm just… tired from the mission and there is much to process." She is surprised by the contact, leaving tingles. She wills herself not to blush as she turns to pick up Siv from the makeshift bed at the foot of Hytham's.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Hytham offers, gesturing to the seat at his work table.

Eivor thinks for a minute, holding Siv close to her chest, her head resting in the crook of her elbow. She chews her lower lip. She knows he is right, and he has proven himself to be granted trust, much unlike his mentor Basim, as she's been questioning his honor since the days in Oxenefordscire, whispering into Sigurd before Fulke took him was a huge red flag to her.

She mentioned the elder Hidden One's shadiness to Hytham, who was at first shocked and appalled at her words, but knew to trust her judgment.

The young mother sits down on the chair he gestured to, Siv sleeping on her lap now, a forlorn look in Eivor's eyes. "Ceolbert is dead." Her voice is rough, but thick with sadness.

Hytham's posture stiffs, his heart thumping in his chest, and his face forming into a frown. He knelt down beside her, his hand on her bracer. "Oh dear Heavens. Poor Ceolbert."

"He was like a son to me, Hytham," her voice cracks. "He treated Siv like a sister. Knowing that he is gone, it's still a process." Her eyes closed tightly, heart rapidly thudding against her ribcage, feeling like it's going to burst from her chest, a fist clamping around her heart.

"What happened to him?"

"Do you remember Ivarr? The Norseman who takes pride in causing others pain?" The acolyte nods and she continues. "He killed him."

Hytham's mouth fell open. "Oh dear Heavens."

Eivor swallows thickly. "He did it to make war on Rhodri and kill him. He got what he wanted. I should've… I should've…"

"Hey, you did not know he was going to do that."

"I should've, I know how Ivarr is," she stares off into the distance. "I didn't see the signs until it was too late. Not until Ceolbert mentioned that he did something before the light left his eyes."

Hytham pulls her closed fist towards him, softly opening it. "You cannot always know these things, Eivor. They just happen. As you once told me, our fates are fixed."

She knows he's right, it still hurt. Of course it still hurt. It's going to for a while.

"I sent him to Outcast Island," she wipes a stray tear from underneath her darkened eye. "Sent him behind the strongest bars of the place. I wanted to kill him for what he did to Ceolbert. But in that moment, I just couldn't. I do not know if I did the right thing because I am afraid he'll come back for revenge and end my daughter and everyone I love." She held Siv closer to her with her free arm, not willing or wanting to let her go. "I would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to her. I don't forgive myself for Kjotve's men kidnapping her."

"Eivor, you had just had her hours before, you were just barely recovering," Hytham tries to reason with her. "Do not blame yourself for that, and she is a celebrated person of this Clan. She has a lot of people to protect her if such a thing came to pass, and I am one of them. Since I came to know her, she's became somewhat of a daughter to me, as well. I would give my life to let her live."

"You're immortal, though," Eivor points out.

"It is an expression."

"Either way, I am grateful to you, Hytham," she feels tears welling in her eyes again as her heart breaks once more, looking down almost immediately, avoiding his soft gaze. She didn't want him to view her as weak. She let out a trembling sigh. "You know how people either unite in times of plight, or fall apart? My Clan is counting on me, to find our Jarl, however I feel like I'm disillusioning them, letting them down. You witnessed Dag's actions prior to Rued's soldier attacking us. When Ceolbert was still with us."

"He definitely seemed out of sorts when you gave your speech," he affirms.

"It is not just Dag," she finally looks up to meet his gaze. "It is also Freydis. The both of them believe I'm out to take Sigurd's seat, or it feels like they are, and the timing is perfect, because the madwoman Fulke took him just after Dag began complaining that Sigurd put me in charge while he is away. I feel as though the whole world is on my shoulders, Hytham." She feels the tears escaping her eyelids. "Forgive me, I told myself I wouldn't cry. I should be this strong person, this person everyone can count on. If I can't get Sigurd back, then I don't deserve to be counted on."

Hytham wipes a stray tear from her pale cheek, the pad of his thumb running over the thin line scar. "My good friend, Eivor, do not be ashamed of crying. You are the strongest woman I know." His blue eyes sparkle bright like the stars in the night sky. "The Clan is undeniably fragmenting at the moment, though it will not disintegrate because of you, given that you are keeping them together. You are so much more fervent then all the background din. You are more fervent than Dag, Freydis, and anyone who is charging you of Sigurd's seat. This Clan is held together by you. So, never, please, never let go. For me."

A small smile tugs at the corners of Eivor's lips, her beaten heart warming at his sweet and kind words. However, her shoulders are still trembling, and Hytham's hands are placed on either side, trying to steady her and ease her, looking up at her with a concerned gaze, eyes darting.

"Eivor? Are your wounds bothering you?" He asks gently, his hand rubbing the back of her arm.

Her face is curved in a grimace, eyes tightly shut. She was indeed hurting, but it wasn't just the wounds littering her body. This was one wound that does not heal easily. It is her damaged heart, a fist clamping around it still, as well as her throat, making it difficult for her to swallow. "Yes, but my heart outweighs my wounds, Hytham. I am still… processing everything." She looks down sadly. "I know I could've gone to Randvi or Yrsa or Tove about this, I just didn't want to bother them with my problems." She wanted to see him, which is why. Out of all her friends, she chose him to go to. The slightly crippled Hidden One with the permanent injury. It was like she saw something in him no one else did.

"Then I will go through the process with you," Hytham moves her face to lock eyes with her. "However, I am glad you came to me, Eivor. I am more than happy to help you however, whenever I can."

A couple of tears stream down her face again. "I can't thank you enough, Hytham. I know we really didn't see eye-to-eye when we first met, however, I am overjoyed we became friends, and got to know each other."

The corners of his lips curved into a smile that complimented his baby blue eyes. "That brings me such joy to hear you say that, Eivor." All the while, a pink dusting flushes across his cheeks and nose.

The pink dusting reciprocated to Eivor's cheeks. She couldn't fully process this new light and bubbly feeling in her chest mixed with the other feelings as of late. She knew she should go when Siv began waking up and making noise, stretching her little arms. "I should take care of her. Thank you for everything, Hytham. Thank you so much."

"Yes, of course. However, please do make sure you get those wounds checked out by Valka as well."

19 notes · View notes