none of this was right anymore but i'm too lazy to fix it
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"
i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.
then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.
then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.
later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.
100K notes
·
View notes
Text
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay sillybut i stay silly :3 but i stay silly but i stay silly :3
67K notes
·
View notes
Text
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
no rizz. just big bambi eyes and many unsettling things to say.
35K notes
·
View notes
Text
29K notes
·
View notes
Text
I think having a baby niece is great cause my brother will send me just a constant stream of messages that sound indistinguishable from how someone at Jurassic park would text if they were being hunted by the raptor
45K notes
·
View notes
Text
some art from today
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
51K notes
·
View notes