hoeyon

[hoeyon]

WICKED

| special edition • back/spine/front ༄

• front cover ♖

• back cover ♛

first group in a project series — a book jacket concept i made for a class assignment! includes my own take on the designs of the characters and such. i haven’t read the wicked book myself yet but i took the opportunity to explore some ideas i’ve had

[hoeyon]

[And we were both very young]

Reference to the stage play where present-day glinda reaches out longingly for past elphaba when the latter steps on stage for the first time. Yeah

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glinda, in her dream, was almost absent to herself, caught up in admiring her friend. it happened so seldom, vacating the prison of one’s own limited apprehensions.

[hoeyon]

someone should write wicked musical fanfiction about whatever Elphaba was feeling when fiyero pointed a gun at Glinda. Top 3 moments of all

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It makes me laugh that the sentiment of For Good is “well I’m not sure if I became a better person because I knew you but you sure did something to me and it’s not reversible, whatever it is” because that’s pretty true to their dynamic

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from alexandrasocha instagram

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[hoeyon]

Not sure if you've already done this but could you either rank or tier list the Glindas and Elphabas you've seen?

lmao you know, very true to form for me how even with 59 different boots and 6 live performances under my belt i'm still like "NO I CAN'T POSSIBLY CHOOSE, I NEED MORE DATA"

like. girl. you know your own taste, be real, how much more do you really need???

but constitutionally something about me still resists lists and tiers, so instead i'm gonna do CATEGORIES.

so welcome to:

THE OZCARS

every category will have explanations, five nominees, and one winner. nominees will be listed in chronological watch order, and specific boot dates will be noted when appropriate. fair? FAIR, I THINK.

also lmao there's no way i have the self-control to limit myself to just gelphie, and please note the obvious caveat that this is a time capsule of opinions that are as ever subject to change, and this may be revisited after more things are seen

i have no idea how long this is gonna get, so maybe let's put this under a cut, huh.

BEST FIRST IMPRESSION (Elphie Edition)

(i.e.: the actresses who really impressed and made a mark on me right from the jump)

NOMINEES:

Shoshana Bean [Bway 1/9/05]: Smol Bean Too Good For This World, Too Pure

Nicole Parker [Bway 3/8/09]: Oh That's Why They Say Comedians Make The Best Dramatic Actors

Mamie Parris [1NT 11/30/11]: Green Bean Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day

Emmy Raver-Lampman [1NT 5/31/14]: Shockingly Steady Standby Holds Night Of Pure Chaos At Bay Like It's Easy

Mary Kate Morrissey [2NT 8/4/18]: Wow People Weren't Fuckin Kidding About Double Name Witches Being Gay On Purpose Holy Shit

WINNER: MAMIE PARRIS

I'm still two installments away from talking about this particular bootleg in the Punctum Project, but my WORD what a tour de force Mamie is. she stalks onto stage in act 1 frothing at the mouth and full of charisma and bile, and you just can't take your eyes off her. fucking amazing stuff.

BEST LAST(ING) IMPRESSION (Elphie Edition)

(i.e. the actresses whose performances have really clung to my bones and have longevity and mental staying power)

Shoshana Bean, giving YOU THINK YOU DON'T LIKE NICE ELPHIE? TOO BAD MINE WILL HAUNT YOU

Eden Espinosa, giving YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST

Carmen Cusack, giving WHY THE FUCK DID THEY NEVER LET YOU DO BROADWAY WHEN YOU'RE THE BEST AT THIS

Mamie Parris, giving NO SERIOUSLY DID I MENTION THE RAGE

Laurel Harris, giving WATCH ME GROW WATCH ME CHANGE WATCH ME MATURE WATCH ME BE SO BISEXUAL

WINNER: EDEN ESPINOSA

Reader you have no idea how hard this was for me to pick, because I do think this comes closest to "favorite" or "best" and i ALWAYS WANT TO GIVE CAVEATS. like especially I need to shout out Sho for making both lists and just like... doing the impossible work of opening the door to a post-Idina Elphaba and what that might mean and doing it with such fearless brightness. and also shout out to Carmen who I do think is maybe the most "complete" Elphaba for me, who comes closest to like, the version of Elphaba who lives in my head and whose voice I would use as my litmus test when writing fanfiction

but Eden was my first Elphie when I was a girl of but 14, and there's no getting around the fact that so many things I love in other Elphabas are, fundamentally, Little Eden Things. the combo of humor and pathos and riffs is just. in my DNA.

BEST FIRST IMPRESSION (Glinda Edition)

(These ones ARE in watch order despite not seeming like it you'll just have to believe me)

Kara Lindsay [LIVE on Bway 10/24/15, no boot exists to my eternal sadness]: My Glinda Girlie Awakening

Katie Rose Clarke [Bway 5/12/2013]: Reactivated Me Like A Sleeper Agent

Kendra Kassebaum [1NT 3/14/06]: Listen to the Sound... of Violence

Brittney Johnson [Bway 9/XX/19]: I'll Never Do It As Gay Again But My God Was This So Gay

McKenzie Kurtz [Bway 5/30/23]: Playing The Classics And Don't They Sound Great

WINNER: KARA LINDSAY

much like with Eden above this isn't really one I can like, make an argument against with any real strength or integrity. falling for Kara's glinda got me hooked on wicked for YEARS last time, and getting to her era of boots was a big motivator for how i approached the great rewatch. ultimately i fear they may not translate to those who never saw her live and can only go by recordings-- her early boots are marred by matt shingledecker giving her NOTHING and in her later boots she was lowkey carrying jenny dinoia, so you kind of have to squint i think to See It the way i know it in my bones, but. when she was good she was perfect. and so much of what i love about McKenzie was that she was Giving Kara.

BEST LAST(ING) IMPRESSION (Glinda Edition)

Megan Hilty, giving I MADE GLINDA SWEET THAT WAS ME I DID THAT

Kendra Kassebaum, giving I MADE GLINDA WEIRD THAT WAS ME I DID THAT

Annaleigh Ashford, giving I MADE GLINDA GAY THAT WAS ME I DID THAT

Katie Rose Clarke, giving I MADE GLINDA AUTISTIC THAT WAS ME I DID THAT

Kara Lindsay, giving I MADE YOU OBSESSED WITH GLINDA THAT WAS ME I DID THAT

WINNER: KATIE ROSE CLARKE

I mean. a) she's the longest Glinda so she kind of had a leg up here but b) lbr she was the longest Glinda for a goddamn reason. SO MUCH of what is now codified by fiat as things glinda Must Do are things krc just like. made up on tour and lbr got in trouble for at the time! her impact isn't just on how i understand Glinda but how EVERYONE understands glinda and like, i don't think anyone else really has a shot at that crown here other than maybe Cheno herself (who, yes, wasn't nominated and I realize that but having the staying power of being on the cast album is a whole other thing)

BEST AT GIVING GELPHIE

(Self-explanatory, but PAIRS ONLY everyone's gotta pull their weight or there would be too many caveats, even though LMAO that does skew this somewhat)

Stephanie J Block & Annaleigh Ashford: We Are The Gay Agenda and The Gay Agenda Is Hands

Carmen Cusack & Katie Rose Clarke: This Bitch Is Everything To Me (Even When She Drives Me Nuts)

Donna Vivino & Katie Rose Clarke: This Bitch Is Everything To Me (And We Have To Cry About It)

Mary Kate Morrissey & Ginna Claire Mason: Gay Agenda II Electric Boogaloo, We Have Clearly Spent Hours In Our Shared AirBNB Optimizing Every Moment Of This Show

Laurel Harris & Katie Rose Clarke: This Bitch Is Everything To Me (And For A Moment You Can Dream We Might Make It Work)

Honorable Mention: YES I KNOW I'M CHEATING but if I'd seen more boots of Alyssa Fox and McKenzie Kurtz they had a chance of knocking out one of the Katies I think and it's worth saying so

that said

WINNER: Mary Kate Morrissey & Ginna Claire Mason

This one was AGONIZING to narrow down and yes pitting Katie against herself three times does skew the results somewhat. but like. i think that if I met someone who was like "I've never seen Wicked but people tell me it's gay, what's the gayest version?" my instinct would be to point them at Double Name Witches before anyone else. I do love that (with the slight aberration of Laurel coming AFTER double name witches) this is two bookends of actresses very clearly going in with a game plan and executing, and then the insides of the sandwich is krc just like going into a dykadelic fugue state for several hours for years at a time and occasionally lucking into people who could keep up with her

BEST AT GIVING THROPPLE

(Yes this is a whole other thing than Gelphie, NO THE VENN DIAGRAMS ARE NOT IDENTICAL YES THERE IS CONSIDERABLE OVERLAP)

Carmen Cusack & Katie Rose Clarke & Cliffton Hall: True Love In Three Directions Has No Chance Of Running Smooth

Donna Vivino & Katie Rose Clarke & Richard H Blake: Crying Breakfast Friends Wish To Be Gentle And Fail

Mamie Parris & Katie Rose Clarke & Kyle Dean Massey: Young And Dumb and Full of Cum

Rachel Tucker & Carrie St Louis & Jonah Platt: Two Stressed Cheetahs And Their Zoo-Assigned Therapy Golden Retriever

Laurel Harris & Katie Rose Clarke & Ryan McCartan: Teenage Dirtbags Can't Do Feelings But Can't Stop Having Them

WINNER: LAUREL & KRC & RYAN

Blame my wife for this one y'all she converted me; the more I think about this trio the more I feel like they really do just have a balance to them that's very appealing -- getting both the sharp corners and the soft underbellies

FIYERO MOST WORTHY OF HAVING A CATFIGHT OVER

David Burnham, giving ACTUAL POPULAR GUY CHARISMA

Kyle Dean Massey, giving MOVE THEM HIPS

Michael Campayno, giving GENTLEST BOY

Ryan McCarten, giving DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME MEOW MEOW

Xavier McKinnon, giving IT WILL NEVER OCCUR TO YOU TO CALL ME MEOW MEOW *slutty wink*

WINNER: XAVIER MCKINNON

It took 20 years to find the man who was MADE IN A LAB TO BE THE PERFECT FIYERO but we did it boys, we found him. do you have any idea how hard it is to make his goofy-ass lines actually sound suave and THIS BOY MAKES IT LOOK EASY. he PULLS OFF THE GAZELLE LEAP. WHAT CAN'T HE DO. (well the answer is give thropple he's a fiyeraba truther but he's only been on tour less than a year give him time)

MORRIBLE BEST AT BOTH THE ACTING PART AND THE SINGING PART WITHOUT MAKING YOU CHOOSE

Carole Shelley: the OG

Alma Cuervo: Always Serving (all entendres intended)

Myra Lucretia Taylor: That's My Mom

Sheryl Lee Ralph: That's My Queen

Aymee Garcia: Those PIPES

WINNER: SHERYL LEE RALPH

Sheryl should have gotten a goddamn Tony for her turn as Morrible, she stole the fucking show, she was perfect in every possible way, the MENACE the HUMOR the VOICE my god.

WIZARD WHO MOST MAKES YOU GET WHY HE'S THE WIZARD:

Sean McCourt: I'm An Understudy Making A Meal of It (Pt I)

Lenny Wolpe: That's My Dad

Gene Weygandt: Peak Used Car Salesman Energy

Wayne Schroder: I'm An Understudy Making A Meal of It (Pt 2)

Michael McCormick: He Just Loves Drama

WINNER: LENNY WOLPE

Michael gives Lenny a real run for his money, but I have to go with my heart. Lenny talks like the penguin in Toy Story with the broken squeaker and 97% of the time he's the most nonthreatening sweetiepie ever and then he'll suddenly Get Serious and it's like OH DAMN OK.

BOQ BEST AT BEING NOT JUST TOLERABLE BUT TRULY LOVABLE

Telly Leung: bright spot in dark times

Alex Brightman: SO BABY

F. Michael Haynie: flustered and sweet

Jesse JP Johnson: didn't mean any harm

Michael Wartella: genuinely kind

WINNER: MICHAEL WARTELLA

I PROMISE THIS ISN'T JUST RECENCY BIAS Michael I think truly is best at navigating the swings Boq has to take without ever coming off as creepy or over-the-top. He's so GENTLE, even with Nessa, even at the end, and I'm very pumped to see more of his early work in my second go-around of boots

NESSA MOST EQUALLY GOOD AT BOTH ACTS OF THE SHOW

Deedee Magno Hall: unafraid of conflict in act 1 without being cunty about it

Stefanie Brown: makes the high highs and low lows tonally of a piece

Catherine Charlebois: years of excellence

Gizel Jimenez: Care Bear Stare

Kimber Elayne Sprawl: hell yeah i'll growl

WINNER: DEEDEE MAGNO HALL

And no, she's not winning just because my wife and I can't stop giggling any time she says any line and we mentally fill in it starting or ending with "sTEVEN--"

Deedee just has such a memorable presence, and never phoned in a single second; the line deliveries in act 1 for nessa can be so rote or surfacy and NOT FOR THIS LADY NOPE.

MOST PAINFUL FLUB

Bway 1/9/05: Joey McIntyre cannot find his note for like a full verse and a half of ALAYM and there's nothing Sho Bean can do to help him

1NT 2/26/09: Paul Slade Smith as Dillamond tells Elphaba to "go enjoy your students," leaving poor standby Merideth Kaye Clark (WHO HAS THE FIRE ALARM GO OFF ON HER LATER DURING NGD) to have to quickly improvise "That's okay, the other students aren't my friends."

Bway 6/30/2017: Kara Lindsay gets so lost in Jenny DiNoia's eyes that she ALSO sings "two good good friends" at the end of One Short Day

Bway 3/XX/20: Lindsay Heather Pierce flubs Elphie's entrance by saying "No I'm not green, yes I've always been green" instead of "seasick."

Bway 3/XX/24: Donna McKechnie says "Miss Elphaba!" instead of "Miss Upland!" as she enters the Ozdust Ballroom

WINNER(?): JOEY MCINTYRE

I'm so sorry Joey but this was your personal last show and it will live in infamy and there's nothing anyone can do about it

KOOKIEST GLINDA

(i.e. who is most in danger of being accused of having "a lot of personality")

Kendra Kassebaum, giving FISTICUFF REALNESS

Katie Rose Clarke, giving I AM AN AUTISTIC BABY DEER FROM OUTER SPACE

Alli Mauzey, giving THE ONLY THING I LOVE MORE THAN ME IS ATTENTION

Amanda Jane Cooper, giving MY FAVORITE GLINDA IS KATIE ROSE CLARKE LET'S TURN IT UP TO 11

Jennafer Newberry, giving I HAVEN'T FOUND MY GLINDA THESIS STATEMENT YET SO I'M GONNA DO THIS UNTIL I DO

WINNER: AMANDA JANE COOPER

Believe me, I am more shocked than anyone that someone was able to out-Katie Katie on this, but like. My word. Amanda Jane Cooper is A Lot, bless her, and VERY inventive. I stand by my decision to not include Annaleigh Ashford as a nominee; considering how Annaleigh plays every other role I've ever seen her in her Glinda is shockingly normal.

MOST BULLYABLE ELPHIE

(i.e. whose "The Wizard and I" and classroom scenes most have me going "oh honey good luck with all that, no wonder people keep putting Kick Me signs on your back.")

Teal Wicks, giving THEATER KID TRIES AND FAILS TO ROUGHLY APPROXIMATE DARIA

Dee Roscioli, giving MY POSTURE IS AS BAD AS MY SELF-ESTEEM

Jackie Burns, giving RACHEL BERRY OVERACHIEVER

Jessica Vosk, giving IT'S NOT MY FAULT NONE OF YOU LOSERS CAN SEE MY VISION

Natalia Vivino, giving INSUFFERABLE KNOW-IT-ALL

WINNER: DEE ROSCIOLI

Dee I think visibly has Glinda most stressed out and helpless during Popular because she cannot do it which takes the cake here

GLINDA I FIND IT EASIEST TO BELIEVE IS POPULAR WITHOUT THE SCRIPT TELLING ME SO

Kristen Chenoweth: Literally I Invented This Why Do My Predecessors Struggle When I Laid It Out

Annaleigh Ashford: Who Wouldn't Be Obsessed With Me?

Meggie Cansler: JAP Regina George And Making It Work

Gina Beck: The Fact That I Cannot Mask My Accent Is An Asset Actually Because I'm A Fascinating And Mysterious Exchange Student, Go With It

Brittney Johnson: Best Hang At Girl's Night/Throws Awesome Bachelorette Parties

WINNER: GINA BECK

I've only seen Gina once but I was fascinated by her Glinda, and how she commanded every room she was in with such ease. She's just someone you Pay Attention To, she's got this effortless magnetism that shows-doesn't-tell why it's not about aptitude it's the way you're viewed.

BEST POPULAR OOPSIE

(i.e. the improvs that weren't planned)

Bway 1/9/05: After like a FULL MINUTE of trying to get the flower to stick behind Sho's ear, Jennifer Laura Thompson gives up and puts it between Sho's tits instead

Bway 3/13/08: Annaleigh takes the flower off in the scene transition because it was falling out and stashes it in the shoe closet, then forgets which pair she hid it in when it's time for the finishing touch, has to dig through every single one, and chirps "I keep things in my shoes!" when SJB asks what she's doing

1NT 11/1/08: Katie Rose Clarke, still holding the lipstick she almost dropped as she grabs the mirror to set it on the bed, blurts out "I got so much stuff in my hands"

1NT 11/2/08 (yes literally the very next night): Katie Rose Clarke bodyslams herself so hard into her bed at "Fiyero and I are going to be married" she not only breaks a shoe and has to do the rest of Popular barefoot, but the impact sends the preset lipstick tube flying so that she has to spend the entirety of "when I see depressing creatures..." scrambling to find it in the pillows only to realize it's not there and then do a casj lean against the headboard and give Carmen a nod like she meant to do that

Bway 09/XX/19: Brittney can't get the flower to detach from her wig and finally has to let Hannah do it for her with a sad little "help!"

WINNER: 11/2/08 KRC

This one takes the cake because it's a two-parter, and because there are also like 18 different bonkers things that happen in that Popular that we do not have time to get into

IF THERE ARE OTHER CATEGORIES YOU WISH FOR MY OPINION ON, KINDLY LET ME KNOW. but this is getting quite long so I'm gonna stop it there for now

however, some people are so far and above in their respective categories, it was not worth naming four other nominees. so!

Various Senior Superlatives:

Elphie whose lack of a full video boot most kills my soul: Lindsay Mendez

Glinda whose lack of a full video boot most kills my soul: Patti Murin

Most Equal-Opportunity Bisexual Elphaba: Alyssa Fox

Most Affecting 'The Wizard and I:' Saycon Sengbloh 3/29/06

Fiyero Happiest Just To Be Invited (bc he ships Gelphie): Jon Robert Hall

Most Sizzling Sexual Chemistry Between A Wizard and Morrible: Michael McCormick and Alexandra Billings

Most Original Take on Morrible: JoAnne Worley and her ten packs a day American working-class accent

Most Frustrating Missed Opportunity for Comedy: Kyle Brown taking over for Timothy A Fitzgerald as Fiyero mid-show on 5/31/14 and NOT going for a laugh on "Fiyero, you frightened me. I thought you might have changed"/"I have changed!" LIKE COME ON MAN YOU LITERALLY HAVE CHANGED, LET IT BREATHE AND GIVE THE AUDIENCE A GIGGLE IT'S RIGHT THERE

Performance as Elphie closest to book!Elphaba: Mary Kate Morrissey 7/21/23; the most uncannily unsocialized and autistic Elphie I've ever seen and VERY unlike MK's usual portrayal. strikingly original and almost painful to watch at times. sensational.

Best sustained low note at the end of INTG: Julia Murney

Best delivery of "Yeah or maybe it scratched me or something:" Kristoffer Cusick

Best 1NT tour stop to use as a punchline: Appleton WI

Best Dillamond at actually making his lecture sound both interesting and like a legitimate classroom interaction: Harry Bouvy 9/24/17

All-Time Horniest ALAYAM: 2NT 2/XX/25 Carly Augenstein and Xavier McKinnon. No this is not recency bias, they kept kissing so long after the song ended the audience literally started to get uncomfortable. it ruled.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING I HOPE THIS SATISFIES

[hoeyon]

Wicked art i drew back in Feb 2023 for the patreon monthly illustration. little did i know the spiral i'd take nearly 2 years later lmao

[hoeyon]

i need more elphaba angst goddammit. i need more of elphaba lying in some cold, wet forest, shivering while she wraps glinda's cloak tightly around herself. it's her only source of warmth, her only source of comfort. she has no idea how to be a fugitive, has only ever gone to sleep in a bed and grew up in the governor's mansion. she's scared, she doesn't know what she's doing. she's tired and she's hungry and she's starting to question if she can survive like this. she's lonely, too. she imagines she's back at shiz, safe in her sheets, and galinda's right next to her, snuggled up against her, and she's warm and safe and loved

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Bonus:

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[ID: promo photo for hacks season 4 of ava and deb standing with their faces quite close together. end ID]

CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[hoeyon]

how do draw good

fill 14 sketch book

bad stuff is good stuff bc you made stuff

do you like sparkle???? draw sparkle

draw what make your heart do the smiley emote

member to drink lotsa agua or else bad time

d ont stress friend all is well

your art is hot like potato crisps

don’t let anyone piss on your good mood amigo

if they do

eat

them

[hoeyon]

Gelphie Poetry 3/?