hoejou - Tumblr blog

[hoejou]

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what part of me are you eating?

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They’re brothers in my head

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An ode to shimmery water surfaces.

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Mother Marika

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blue period

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LOOK AT MY MANNS FACE HE SO HAPPY TO SEE SAKURAー🥰❤️

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people cried. people died. (me)

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Togame’s Turmoil.

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the legend continues △

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practicing

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timid creatures

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i’m… usually not interested in other people. but i also get annoyed when i look at you yaguchi-san.

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YOUR NAME ‘君の名は。’ 2016, dir. Makoto Shinkai

[hoejou]

It truly kills me when i think about how touya must have felt when after the incident nobody even tried looking for him? His mother physically unable to do so, his siblings too young, while enji said "he didn't believe he was dead that he was looking for him"???? he became even more aggressive with shouto and kept insane training with him?? almost like touyas death complicated his plans (just like when rei hurt shouto and he was more concerned about training than his son being hurt). Even if it was touyas plan to run away imagine being in constant chronic pain afterwards, seeing your abusers face everywhere like a celebrity, learning that your family is trying to reconnect and forgive each other.

I imagine touya going "so this was possible a good family could be a reality if they put effort in.. just not for him". There was probably some sende of betrayal with him seeing that nobody mourned touya, that his death was just not enough for them to hate enji and it probably made him vicious

This has been in my askbox for a while just like everything else that's still in there but it's actually good because I just came across one of my favorite scenes from The Good Place again (if you haven't watched the show: spoilers ahead!) that made me think about exactly that and can I just say that Dave looks and acts exactly like Bakugou's dad lmao.

Especially that part where Eleanor says "Because I wanted that mom! [...] Why does Patricia get that mom? If Donna Shellstrop has truly changed, then that means she was always capable of change, but I just wasn't worth changing for."

Obviously, you could argue that "why would anyone want Endvr as their dad? Why would Dabi want to switch places with Shouto? Does he not understand that Shouto was abused? That Shouto doesn't like Endvr?" - of course, the truth is that Dabi does know. So much so that he is, in fact, the first person in canon to actually openly tell the public that Shouto was abused by Endvr (considering Shouto himself doesn't even exactly admit this and instead only ever focuses on the suffering Endvr has caused Rei) during his broadcast in chapter 291:

sidenote: in Japanese he uses the word 手を上げる (te o ageru) lit. "to raise a hand" which is meant to say that someone raises their hand to commit violence, so he's explicitly saying that Shouto was hit (possibly because abuse is more of a broad term?)

So yes, Dabi knows that Shouto didn't have a loving dad. Even as a 13-year-old Touya knew that he himself had never had a loving, healthy relationship with his father and instead was tossed aside because he was a "failed creation" as seen in chapter 302 -

which then again raises the question of "why would Touya still want Endvr's attention?" and more importantly - why would it most likely upset him now to find out that Endvr has been trying to (or is attempting to try idk what to call it) change and make it up to his family?

It's a simple answer, really: because all Touya ever wanted was for his dad to look at him. To pay attention to him and acknowledge his existence, as stated multiple times, for example in these panels from chapter 301:

Endvr was never a good dad. Not to Touya and not to any of Touya's siblings. But kids still crave their parents' attention because kids are dependent on their parents and without having their existence acknowledged, they can't receive any love from them, either, so the focus has been on wanting his dad to see him because unless that happens, there is nothing else Touya can receive from his dad.

It's clearly not the same situation as The Good Place, where the formerly bad mom turns around and becomes a good mom for her new kid despite not having been able to do so for her first kid. Endvr still fails at being a dad, he still doesn't have a good relationship with his kids and it's unclear whether he will ever have a good (or even neutral) relationship with any of them in the future.

The similar part lies in something much simpler - the very foundation of someone changing and improving, which is their willingness to do so. It's the first step of many, but without it, one can't suddenly be better.

Dabi doesn't know how his family is doing now. He has no idea of any of their relationships with each other, so it's all just speculation to him based on what little information he does have, which is pretty much limited to seeing Shouto in the role that was originally planned for him. He doesn't know that Shouto doesn't get along with Endvr and that he remains unsure of whether or not he is ever going to forgive Endvr, but he sees that Shouto is fighting side by side with him and that he interned at his agency. With that, Dabi wouldn't be able to rule out the possibility of Shouto having a good relationship with Endvr now.

Either way, regardless of Dabi's theories surrounding the state of his family, the point still remains that Endvr sees Shouto, something Touya has been deprived of for most of his existence.

Even if he knew about the tension in his family, it wouldn't change the fact that Endvr had been able to look at Shouto, when he wasn't able to look at Touya. That is something Touya already knew when still living with his family and something he can still see now. More importantly, unlike with Touya, Endvr never stopped looking at Shouto.

If he found out about Endvr's attempt at redemption, it would probably hurt him more than it would help him considering Endvr's realization of the negative effects he has had on his family came a decade after Touya's death. So it's not even that Touya's death was a wake-up call. Instead, Endvr had to reach his own selfish goal of becoming the Number One first in order to begin to see clearly. And even that wasn't enough to enable him to see Touya. Instead, he pities himself in the hospital and then constantly focuses on other goals despite having promised his family to go look for his not-actually-dead-but-still-at-constant-risk-of-dying son.

The point is that Dabi is still suffering from his dad's inability to do the simplest task of seeing him, but it would probably break his heart to find out that Endvr has made even the smallest attempt at making his crimes up to his family (i.e. by buying Rei a house).

It's a matter of "if he is able to change" but the truly haunting part lies in "when he is able to change" because all Touya ever wanted was for his dad to change, yet the realization of that change finally occurring a decade after Touya was gone is painful as it could not have been meant for him.

Even if Touya's supposed death had played any part in Endvr's change of heart, it's not the dead that benefit from people changing, so how is he supposed to be happy about his dad's ability or willingness to change, when that just means that his existence wasn't enough reason?