hobierella - Tumblr blog

hobierella · 7 years

Text

Art of Experiencing

[ actor!Seokjin x reader ]

Warnings: smut, almost 6k of pure filth really, mature themes such as violence (only a bit), terrible management of a relatioship, slight dub-con, unprotected sex, horrible decisions, bad writing. Please someone help me how to do this bc I never know wtf to put here

Description: Seokjin really, really, really wants that particular role in that particular play, and he asks for your help to connect with the character.

Author’s Note: Like the rest of my ideas, I knew right away that it was terrible, and therefore, I had to write it immediately. And, as per usual, I rambled a hella lot. Enjoy?

You’ve known Seokjin for long enough to trust him with your life. You two had been friends for years before you got involved romantically and you loved him with all of your being. He was a laid back, hilarious, witty and selfless person, always supporting you and giving you nothing but respect and love. It was only natural that you’d give back as much as he gave you, and you were his number one fan ever since he decided to become an actor.

But when he came up with that ridiculous idea, you were absolutely stunned.

“Come again?” you asked, almost certain that you had misheard him the first time.

��I want you to cheat on me” he repeated, the words floating in the air between you.

It was like he was suddenly talking in a different language, you understood every word, but put together, they made no sense. The softness of the couch beneath you seemed to want to devour you as you sank further into it, the sentence echoing inside your brain, still not making sense.

“Ok, look, the thing is that I really want this part for this play that could potentially put me out there and… and the character gets cheated on by his partner” Seokjin started explaining after waiting for a few minutes without any other response except for your blank expression and your rapid blinking. “But the problem is that I never got cheated on, I don’t know how that feels like and I can’t really connect with the character.”

“You want me to cheat on you so you know how it feels?” you summarized, scandalized, the pitch of your voice going up by the end of the question.

“It’s called method acting” he was quick to say, his tone of voice stable and low, and you knew he was trying to calm you down. “A lot of great actors do it: Adrien Brody, Christian Bale, even Robert DeNiro!”

Seokjin started to pace in front of you, his hands moving, his eyes bright with excitement, and you felt less and less confused and more and more pissed off. But you allowed him to continue talking, hoping that he would come up with a fucking outstanding excuse for proposing such a stupid thing to you.

Or even better, to start laughing and telling you it was all a joke.

“It’s risky, because it’s like becoming your character; instead of acting, you are… and I think it’s the exact thing I need this time. The protagonist, the role I want, he--- he does a lot of shady shit, life treated him so badly but he still fights and then he loses it when he finds out the love of his life, the only person he thought he could trust in the entire world, cheats on him with who he thought was on the way to become his best friend, so… the second person he thought he could trust…”

Seokjin always rambled when he was extra enthusiastic about a project, and each time you’d sit and listen to him talk for hours. You didn’t mind. You felt yourself falling in love more each time he shared his passions with you. But right in that moment, you weren’t exactly feeling the excitement.

“So… I was thinking Hoseok” he said, stopping moving as if he was considering the scenario.

“What?”

“You kinda like him, yes? You are close, I think that if we discuss it properly, there shouldn’t be issues wi…”

“I’m not cheating on you with Hoseok” you interrupted, irritated. He looked at you with a frown on his beautiful facial features, half surprised even.

“Why not?” he asked. Now you were utterly pissed off, and it probably was clear to see on your face because when you opened your mouth to tell him to go fuck himself, he raised his hands in a sign that was probably meant to appease you at the same time that it would protect him if you threw something at him (which you were really tempted to do). “Ok! Ok, I get it, Hoseok is a no, then. What about Namjoon?”

“I’m not going to prostitute myself for your fucking role, Seokjin!” you lashed out, raising from the couch. “What the fuck! There are other ways to connect with characters, right? Use your fucking imagination, like you always did!”

“But it’s not working!” he replied, and you were out of patience to deal with that bullshit. “Babe, I don’t like this any more than you do, but…”

“No? Could have fooled me! It actually looks like you’re really enjoying this!” you spat back. How could he expect you to believe he wasn’t really liking it when he talked about it like anyone else would talk about the weather?

Seokjin finally had the decency to look like he was feeling guilty, and you willed yourself to calm down. Your head had become a second heart, beating loudly, aching. Taking deep breaths, you sat down on the couch again.

He was the man you loved, he was the man you trusted the most, he was the man you wanted to always be there for whenever he needed anything. You wanted to be his strength, his confidence, his everything, just like he had become yours. But sometimes he could be really fucking unfair, on unsuspected levels. This was the lowest he had sunk so far, the thought of you actually cheating on him was the worst joke ever.

And with Hoseok, of all people? He was a great friend that had actually introduced you to Seokjin back in the day. Yes, maybe you had kissed Hoseok once, before you a Jin were together as a couple and way before you had any sort of idea that he liked you romantically, but that was beside the point.

Unless it meant that Seokjin had held that information for that long due to jealousy or something. It has been years since that had happened, could it be that he was mad about it? You looked at the man before you, who sat in silence looking at his hands, probably trying to come up with a proper apology or just another way to convince you. You couldn’t tell anymore.

“Is it really that important for you?” you asked, breaking the silence that has fell between you two. He looked up, startled, a bit confused. “That role, that play, the whole thing. Is it that important for you? There is no other way you could… I don’t know, understand the character’s motivations?”

“I tried everything I could think of” he sighed, defeated. “But I just… I just don’t get it. I can’t relate to the kind of anger and dejection he’s feeling because you are perfect. You are always with me, supporting me and loving me and I can’t feel anything but love. Shit, I’m so sorry for asking you to cheat on me… I’m an idiot.”

“You are” you smiled, already melting when he had so many nice things to say.

You knew Seokjin, you prided yourself over that fact. He was passionate about acting, he always gave his all to whatever project he was given and there was no doubt in your mind that he had just experienced some sort of brain fart or something alike when he proposed the whole cheating thing. For someone so intelligent as him, he could be the most stupid person ever as well. It baffled you sometimes.

And you couldn’t believe you were actually considering his proposal. Not that you were about to cheat him, but there had to be a way to help him somehow without risking the whole relationship.

“Can I read it? The script, I mean” you requested gently, and he rushed to get it for you.

“Do you want something to eat? Something to drink?” he offered, back to his usual self, always so serviceable, but you knew that he was excited for you to read what he had read, and maybe to try to help him somehow. “Oh, it’s late, I should start making dinner. As an apology, if that’s ok with you. You read it properly, I’m not going to bother you.”

Once you were left alone with the group of sheets in your hands, you were a woman on a mission. The plot was interesting, heavy on the angst side, with a protagonist burdened with all sorts of misfortunes and woes. You could practically see Seokjin reciting the lines, becoming the character he was so desperate to embody… and you could easily see where the trouble started.

Seokjin was a human being, he had his fair share of complications in his existence so far, and many more were awaiting for him because that was just how life was, but there was an edge to the character, a pure feeling of deep anger, that you knew Jin couldn’t feel. Not only because he hadn’t faced as many obstacles as the protagonist, but also because you were damn sure your boyfriend would never hold onto the angst, the pain and the wrath like the character did.

You weren’t completely sure what that whole method acting shit was, but you never heard nice things about it. From time to time you’d watch news about celebrities and the notion wasn’t one you were unfamiliar with, being aware that it was something actors did but apparently it wasn’t always accepted. Googling it, you read more about it.

And then it hit you, Seokjin’s words echoing in your head, reminding you that since he couldn’t turn to his imagination to understand the character’s motivation, he wanted to feel it on his flesh. Instead of acting like the character, to become the character. No wonder method acting was so frowned upon. But it sure gave magnificent results, if the people who used it for this or that movie were living proof of that.

However… were you willing to put your relationship in danger just so you could help him understand the protagonist? And even if he did, there was no promise he’d actually get the role. There were a million doubts and fears circling your head by the time Seokjin stepped out of the kitchen. The delicious aroma of the meat he had been preparing long forgotten by then, you had your whole body filled with worries about the plan that had appeared out of nowhere a second before but that was growing rapidly.

It was a terrible idea. You knew it well.

“Food’s ready, let’s just wait until it cool off to… hey, you ok?”

The worry in his voice apparent, you wondered for the last time if you were actually willing to do what you were about to do. Taking a deep breath, one deep enough to make your lungs hurt, you looked at him with your best blank expression.

“Honey?” he tried again, stepping closer.

“You say you can’t relate to the character’s feelings, but you should” you spoke, lowly, your voice as stable as you could manage to make it sound. Seokjin stopped on his tracks, utterly confused. You nodded slowly. “This was all a way to make me confess, right? Alright, I’ll confess.”

“Confess what? What are you talking about?” he asked, frowning.

You continued to look at him, holding back the overwhelming urge of dropping the act, wishing to be able to convey the truth in spite your words. Your eyebrows moved up slightly, you heard about smiling with your eyes in ANTM, well, in that moment you were hoping for being able to transmit a full speech explaining with details what you were trying to do… with your eyes.

“You should be able to understand how this man feels about the love of his life cheating on him with his best friend” you rephrased slowly. “Unless I’m not the love of your life… or Hoseok isn’t your best friend.”

After a few heartbeats of silence and obvious confusion on Seokjin’s part, you could see it. There was a glimmer of understanding in his eyes, his whole face transforming, his whole body language changing. From grasping the true meaning of your cryptic speech to apprehension towards the new information received, you were hoping to God this was worth the fucking while because lying and potentially breaking your boyfriend’s heart just to help him get some shitty role in a shitty play was the worst.

It wasn’t the first time you two roleplayed. You usually helped him whenever you could with scenes if he needed it, or you just did it to spice things up in the bedroom, but you weren’t sure if actually letting him know that you were just acting would help him. So far the whole thing was getting believable, intensely so. To be honest, you were feeding on the energy he had started to give back to you.

“Say it clearly” he demanded, now a completely different person. It was working wonderfully, and you tried to relax, but it was impossible. The fire in his eyes, the tone of his voice, everything was awfully unlike anything Seokjin was.

“Do I really have to? You can’t put two and two together? Or maybe… maybe you like to play dumb. You already know about my preference for Hoseok.”

And alright, maybe you liked to act, too. Each chance you got to become someone else while helping your boyfriend out was one you enjoyed a lot and made sure to make the most of it. But you knew you weren’t good enough to pursue a career as actress, not that you were actually interested in doing so.

“Don’t joke about that, babe, please” he scoffed, taking off the apron he had used to prepare dinner.

You deflated, disappointed. So you couldn’t fool him, after all. Or maybe he didn’t want your help anymore. Or maybe you were just bad at it. Suddenly you were in a bad mood, almost pouting, feeling stupid for your dumb attempt. What an embarrassing situation.

“Whatever” you replied, standing up and walking towards the bathroom door to hide for a few minutes. You were two steps away from it when you felt a hand grabbing your arm and pulling you back.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Seokjin hissed at your ear, your back pressed against his torso, the grip on your arm almost hurting. You automatically tried to break free from him, whispering some curses, too surprised to understand what was happening. “Are you trying to escape? Huh? To go to him?”

It clicked then that your attempts might have not been in vain after all, if the way Seokjin was acting was an indication of it. You looked up, finding wide blown pupils staring back at you, a scowl painted on his features, and anger. He’d never, ever, lay a hand on you like this, but you let the energy he was pouring over you influenced your reply.

“So what? What if I am?” you replied, still struggling against his grip. The main door was in the same direction, so there was no need to explain you were only going to the bathroom. “He’d never do this to me!”

“Do what? Dedicate his whole being to keep your safe, well and happy? Sacrifice everything for you?”

You could recognize part of the speech you’d just read on the script tainting Seokjin’s words, and that was all you needed to understand that he was actually acting. Or at least trying to position himself on the right frame of mind to be able to portray the character.

Caught in the whole thinking process you were doing, you didn’t reply quick enough and he shook you again, snapping you out of it.

“Damn right he wouldn’t do shit” he growled on your ear, his other hand going to your neck, his slender fingers wrapping around your pulse, holding you in place now that you had stopped struggling. “Not like I do, hmm? He surely didn’t fuck you like I can.”

Well, shit.

That wasn’t on the script, but you weren’t complaining. Not even when you two ventured on roleplay things got this heated, this urgent, this absolutely animalistic and raw. He was always careful with you, always holding himself back, always reminding you of the safeword you had chosen but that never had to use.

The hand he had been using to grab your arm then left it alone, pressing his palm against your stomach, forcing your body to get closer to his. And when he rubbed his erection against your ass, you knew you were in for a nice ride (you sort of had guessed it already, but that was the ultimate confirmation). The tips of his fingers brushed against your navel, playing with the hem of your shirt, with the beginning of your sweatpants.

He was barely doing something worth all of the fire you were feeling tickling your skin from deep within, but you were already all sorts of messed up and you were loving it. The way you were already getting wet in between your legs was unbelievable, but he wasn’t letting you think clearly enough to do something about it.

“Tell me, go on, tell me what he did to you” Seokjin was now rubbing against your ass, breathing against your neck, driving you insane. “Did he went down on you? Did he taste that sweet pussy? Did he make you taste him?”

“Yeah” you breathed out, almost laughing at the thought of what you were about to say. “He tasted like you… but sweeter.”

That seemed to have done the trick for him. You could felt how he tensed his hand around your neck, and how his fingers on your stomach sneaked down under your sweatpants and underwear, directly touching your already humid folds. Your upper body jerked at the touch, and if it hadn’t been for him holding you in place, you’d have probably bent forward in half.

His digits started moving with circular motions against your clitoris, finding it relatively quickly. He knew your body, each part of it, spending hours and hours exploring it, mapping it, finding every spot that would make you squirm with pleasure and abusing of it over and over and over again.

“You’re so fucking wet already… is it because you’re thinking about him?” he mumbled against the shell of your ear, nibbling at it softly, letting his tongue follow the outline of it. Your abdomen was contracting in itself, your hands becoming fists since you had no idea what to do with them and touching him was out of the question.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” was the only response you gave him, still holding onto the character you had made for yourself in order to face this whole situation. Your concentration was quickly vanishing, you wanted him to do something already, something more, to give you everything he had like he always did.

He bite your ear in retaliation, harder than he’d do in his normal frame of mind, but not enough to make it hurt terribly. You whimpered at that, surprised both by his action and the way your body responded so positively to it. You had to be out of your mind, for sure. You weren’t one for these sorts of things, even if you liked a bit of pain from time to time, but nothing like this. Absolutely nothing like this. Now you were finding out that, during the right time and in the right place, you could definitely get off with being treated this roughly.

But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Seokjin’s hands disappeared from your body, leaving you feeling like your legs were about to give in, when he pushed you down to your knees and hurried to undo his belt and unzip his jeans. You got the memo fast enough, and licked your lips, expectantly, but nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

Between the wall and him, you had nowhere to escape (not that the thought even crossed your mind), so it was easy for Seokjin to grab the back of your head, to secure your hair in between his fingers, and pull you closer to his now exposed cock that was right there, standing proud, angry, and you could have sworn, twitching as well. However, you soon enough understood why he was grabbing you by the hair: to stop you from moving, either away or closer to him. Maybe he knew you too well, already anticipating you going straight for his cock to get it inside of your mouth.

“Ah, you like it, don’t you? You like my cock better, why don’t you just admit it?” he snorted, seeing you salivating at the sight in front of you in a conditioned fashion (Pavlov would have been proud… maybe), but held his erection inches away from you, barely letting the tip touch your lips only to remove it once more.

He repeated the action two more times before deciding to act like if his cock was a lipstick, painting your lips with salty precum that you licked off almost automatically, moaning at the taste, looking up after to check his expression. And boy, were you even more turned on by it that you had ever been before. There was a glint of pure danger in his eyes along with intense desire that could easily be mistaken with anger… or was it the other way around?

“Open up, let me remind you how much, much better I taste” he ordered, and you had no qualms about complying immediately, yet the way he tugged at your hair made you moan almost painfully.

Seokjin was in charge, and he was reminding you that by making it impossible for you to do what he already knew you’d have done if you had the chance to do it, and that was to suck him off however you wanted to. Instead, he used your mouth as he rocked his hips slowly, still careful not to hurt you one bit, making his cock slide easily next to the spit that had already been accumulated inside of your oral cavity. You flatten your tongue, relaxed your jaw, and let him do what he wanted to do, trying to control your breathing because you were having troubles with that part.

“Yes, just like that… it feels so good… fuck” he babbled, almost slipping out of character and noticing it quickly enough, if the way he relaxed his grip on your hair only to resume his brutal hold on it a second later or the way his voice almost went back to his usual honey tone were enough indications of that. And they were.

You decided to hollow your cheeks, starting with the suction, and were rewarded with a beautiful loud moan coming from plump limps above you. His pace increased slightly, his head thrown back a bit, and you knew he was holding back the sounds that were threatening to ruin the whole act if he ever let them out. However, as soon as you felt he was starting to get too sloppy, the cock was gone from your mouth.

You opened your eyes that you didn’t even remember close, and looked up, almost offended. He was biting his lower lip, his chest heaving lightly, the hand on your hair gone so he could place his forearm against the wall and lean on it. But the cock was still relatively close, so your eyes went from his face to it, licking your lips, teasingly.

“Up” was his order, breaking your concentration and making you pay attention to him once more. Your knees hurt a bit from the way they had collapsed against the floor in the first place (you should have been more careful), but you managed to obey. Seokjin tugged at your pants. “Off. Take these off. Now.”

Once more you followed his instructions without a single complaint and in a hurried fashion, not caring anymore about how desperate you looked. To hell with appearances, to hell with the whole acting shit you had already forgotten was the cause for all of that scenario unfolding with you in the middle. Normally he’d pay attention to you the whole time, marking you in secret places, leaving you breathless, panting, yet giving you what you wanted without you needing to ask for it.

This time was not only different in the intensity area, but on the giving area, too. Seokjin was taking and taking and taking and he was neglecting you. He had barely touched you, barely pleasured you, hadn’t even kissed you on the lips. Once again, you weren’t complaining. You were still wishing to know what was going to come next.

Once your pants and panties had been forgotten in the floor next to you, he manhandled you, turning you around and pushing you against the wall, making your ass stick out and kneeling before you without a single word. You felt his fingers on your pussy, parting your wet folds, exposing you in a way that would make you blush if you weren’t already doing it. You gasped when you felt his tongue against your entrance, poking it, and arched your back more, lifting your ass more, giving him a better access.

You heard the sound half a second before you felt the sting of his palm against your asscheek, and barely held the sharp cry that left your lips, your legs trembling at the impact. His fingers went back to your core, now sliding inside of you without warning and it was impossible not to hiss at that, your body automatically trying to back away but another spank was given and you felt your head spinning too fast.

Seokjin was then finger fucking you without mercy, already two fingers moving in and out, your lips parted but no sound coming as you panted heavily, more air leaving you than getting inside your lungs. And what came could have surprised you if you weren’t already too lost inside the hurricane of pleasure and light pain you were feeling.

“P-please! Pluh-please!” you heard yourself screaming, almost sobbing already.

“Please, what?” Seokjin asked after he stood up, his fingers stilling for a few seconds before going back to his brutal pace. Your hips had already started rocking back, trying to get as much friction as they could to ease the itch you felt starting inside the depths of your belly and that was leaving you desperate for release. “Speak. What do you want?”

“Please” you repeated, a broken cry mostly. You had no idea what you wanted except to cum, that’s all that was occupying your mind. “Fuck me… please, please, Jin, fuck me…!”

“Why should I?” he laughed, airily, almost as if he was out of breath, against your ear. “Don’t you like his cock better? Isn’t that why you fucked him?”

“No… no, please!” you babbled, drooling a bit without being able to stop it. “I don’t--- I don’t like his… please, I want yours, I want you… oh, go---god…”

“Say it, say my cock is better” he ordered, and you felt a tear running down your cheek. That had never happened before.

“Your cock is… better… is better… I love your cock, Jin, I lo---love…”

“Fuck” he muttered, and you felt his fingers disappear from inside you, leaving you horribly empty and begging for something to fill you up.

Luckily, he seemed to be just about as desperate as you, spitting on his hand and coating his cock with the mix of his saliva and your juices, collecting a bit more from your pussy just to be a tease. And then the head of his erection was pressing against your folds, and you could have screamed out of frustration but he quickly found your hole and thrusted against it, making his cock slide inside of you up to the middle. The sound that left your body was one you had never heard yourself doing before, but you weren’t even interested in that anymore when you felt so full all of the sudden.

Even in character (if he still was in character, that is), Seokjin took a minute to let you adjust to him, starting to move painfully slow to make sure that he wouldn’t be hurting you. It had been a real daring move to just penetrate you like that, and it would have been a real problem on past occasions, but you knew you were incredibly wet from the whole experience and luckily everything went right.

From the gentle motions he sped up his thrusts, a litany of curses mixed with your name in between were whispered against the skin of your back, your shoulders and your neck as he kept fucking you against the wall like a lunatic. You kept accepting, barely able to move but trying to meet the movements of his hips until you found the right position to let him fuck into you while he kept touching all the right places.

There was not a single trace of a coherent thought inside your brain, it was filled with Seokjin and what you were feeling, and your fast approaching climax. The itch was becoming unbearable, the position you were in was absolutely terrible, your legs were almost about to give way, to give up, you had no strength, but you continued to be pinned against the wall, having him biting your skin and fucking you mercilessly.

Your orgasm came without a single warning. Even if you were feeling the familiar knot forming inside your abdomen, it only took one well-placed thrust, a coincidentally nice timed touch deep in you to make you explode. You swore you could see fireworks, but that was just happening due to how tight you had shut your eyes without noticing it. You went limp while Seokjin continued to move against you, but he wasn’t too far from cumming, thanks to the way your inner walls tightened even more around his cock and the way you sucked him in greedily.

One minute later or so, he was pulling out and stroking his erection a few times before spilling himself all over your ass, cursing with a broken voice. Your legs finally decided to stop working and you slide down towards the floor, laying down there soon after.

He was right there, sitting on the floor as well, before he joined you laying on his back. Panting, the only thing that could be heard then was the way you two were struggling to catch your breaths. And then… he started to laugh.

“Oh… wow” he offered you, back to being the same old Seokjin you knew and loved.

“Wow indeed” you smiled, feeling like you were made of jelly. “What the fuck was that all about?”

“That’s my line” he assured you, turning his head to face you. His smile was replaced with a frown, small tears of sweat covering his forehead. “You didn’t really mean what you say, did you? You and Hoseok…”

“Fuck, Jin, no, of course nothing ever happened” you groaned, too tired to be dealing with that. But you had brought it upon yourself, so you might as well clear that shit up. “I was just trying to help you with your stupid character.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, I knew that” he rushed to tell you, even if you didn’t believe one word. You knew he trusted you, but he had the right to have his doubts. Just for that particular occasion, though. “Well… thank you. That was---- enlightening.”

“I sure hope it was, because we’re not doing that ever again, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, ma’am” he guaranteed, his hand now going to your cheek to caress it. It was him who moved on top of you to kiss you, long and gently, just the way you liked it. You two spend a few minutes doing just that, while your hearts and your lungs settled back again. “By the way, did you quoted Fall Out Boy earlier?”

“Yes… and no. I was going more for Closer, but it worked either way” you laughed.

“It certainly gave it a touch of distinction. Oh… oh, fuck, hey, dinner must be already cold” he remembered all of the sudden, sitting on the floor.

Seokjin helped you to stand up, and then to wash you nicely while showering with you. The food he had made for you, even if re-heated, had been delicious, but before you had the chance to put it all behind you and sleep the numb pain and discomfort that had finally settled in your every bone due to the exercise you were exposed to, you had to make sure of something.

“Jinnie, baby, promise me this: no more method acting. Seriously. Don’t even think about it anymore. This was a one-time thing, and if you ever come back to me with this stupid idea, I will seriously kick you out and go find Hoseok” you threatened. He laughed cheerfully, the vibrations of the sound that caused going directly to your head that had been delicately placed against his chest.

“I promise” Seokjin spoke against your hair before kissing it.

(And if he came back home a few days later to find you singing Thnx fr th mmrs out loud when the he tasted like you, only sweeter part with only your panties on and that definitely set the mood for more wild sex, or if Hoseok didn’t really understand what had he done wrong for Seokjin to be somewhat pissed off at him for two weeks in a row, none of you mentioned a thing about it.)

#bts scenarios #bts smut #bts reactions #jin scenario #jin smut #jinxreader

114 notes · View notes

hobierella · 7 years

Text

To love the loveless - |END|

Chapters list: |intro| |Ch. 1| |Ch. 2| |Ch. 3| |Ch. 4| |Ch. 5| |Ch. 6|

Tags: Yoongi x reader (only slightly), Jungkook x reader, cheating, unhealthy coping mechanisms, a bit of angst, friends to lovers, smut in future chapters.

Description: You’ve decided not to let anyone hurt you ever again, and shit is going great… until it hits the fan.

Author’s Note: It’s been quite a ride tbh but this is the end. I never expected to receive so much attention, and I know I already said this but THANK YOU to everyone that liked this story, that stayed until the end and those who read silently, too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Enjoy? Enjoy!

It was easy to ignore emotional troubles when you were drowning on notes, books and coffee in a desperate attempt to pass the hell that were finals. You had a break from the guys while breaking from stress, trying to salvage the year. Thankfully you did better than expected and the promised relief came with the shape of a party you didn’t feel like missing.

But this party was bigger than what you were used to, and you found yourself nursing a beer in a corner of a stranger’s house, with strangers all around you, while watching Namjoon talk to a girl, Jin and Taehyung play beer pong and losing horribly, Hoseok and Jimin killing it on the dance area and Yoongi glue himself next to the DJ, maybe trying to give him some advice or take his place. It wasn’t bad, not at all, to have time to relax, while greeting some classmates but mostly just resting.

Until you got bored and decided to look around some more. Maybe that was the mistake, or that was exactly what you needed, because when you found yourself opening the bathroom door after finding it, you were met with two people practically fucking over the sink.

“Oh, god, sorry” you screamed for them to hear you over the music, and closed the door while still watching them. You didn’t know the girl, but the face of the guy was one you could recognize everywhere.

It took you one second after you had shut the door to understand that it had been Jungkook the one turning his face around to see you, removing his tongue from the unknown girl’s mouth to do so, and you couldn’t move. It wasn’t like you felt anything in particular except for surprise because you sure as hell weren’t expecting something like that, but…

But when you came back to your senses, you were already heading towards the front door, not even trying to tell any of the guys you were leaving. You just wanted to get the hell out of there and never look back. You still weren’t feeling anything, was that a good thing? Why were you so desperate to leave?

“Noona!” you heard, and looked back automatically, out of habit. Jungkook was there, looking disheveled and his lips looked redder, slightly more plumb. “Noona, wait, I can explain… I…”

“Explain what?” you smiled, confused. He came closer slowly, as if you were some sort of wild animal that would attack him at any given moment.

“She’s just a classmate, I swear… she came onto me and I just… I just don’t know what came over me and…”

“Kookie, it’s ok” you stopped him, still feeling absolutely nothing. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. She is pretty, did you abandon her? You dumbass, go back.”

“But…” he started again, but now it felt like he didn’t know what to say. Licking his lips nervously, he blinked repeatedly and fast. “Are you leaving?”

“I… yeah, I think I am.”

Actually, you had no idea what the fuck you were doing. You just knew you had to get out of there. Didn’t know why, didn’t know anything at all. And the emptiness inside of you was a lie: it wasn’t that you weren’t feeling a thing, you were feeling too much all at once. You just never had that happening to you and you simply assumed things.

Like you always did.

“Let me take you home, then” he proposed, although it was more a decision he had made and he was simply informing you.

“I can take care of myself just fine, alright? You go back to your girlfriend” you hissed, shocking the both of you. “Sorry. Sorry. Oh, my fucking God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, I…”

“Noona, what’s happening to you?” he asked, gently.

You hated that tone on him. You hated it on everyone. They always used it whenever they felt like you needed to be handle with care, and you truly hated it. But what you hated the most is to give that image. To be in a constant state of vague certainty and solid doubts, of never knowing what you wanted. It’d be easier to not feel anything at all.

And then it hit you that you were disappointed. You felt betrayed. By Jungkook, no other. What was wrong with you?

“I don’t know” you confessed, closing your eyes. You felt his arms around you and didn’t fight it. “I’m sorry for being so stupid, Kookie. I don’t mean to be like this.”

“Hey, it’s ok, I know what you mean. Want to sit down for a bit?”

And you did. You followed him towards the roadside and sat there with him. At first none of you said a thing, letting the sounds of the party and the music float around the air of the night.

“I’m going to be direct now” he declared, snatching your attention. He looked awfully nervous now. “I’m still in love with you. I don’t know how to make it stop, but I’m still trying. And nothing is working. I already told you all of this before, but you never told me how you felt. I was thinking that maybe… maybe if you told me how you felt, I will be able to finally let go.”

“Let go?” you repeated, slightly lost, half knowing. He nodded.

“Just turn me down already, tell me you don’t feel anything for me. Quick and painless, like a band aid. Do it now, so I can move on” Jungkook asked, risking a glance at you.

You were stunned. You knew how he felt, he had told you himself. But you hadn’t put much thought to it. No. That was a lie. You had thought too much about it, but the truth was that you were scared each time you went in too deep and started to find traces of something that terrified you. But now he was asking you to put an end to his misery, and you couldn’t deny him that.

“I can’t” you whispered, almost broken. “I can’t tell you what you want to hear because I don’t know what I feel.

“That’s why I’m telling you to tell me the truth. It’s not that hard, really. Do you like me the way I like you? Yes or no, go” he insisted, and it sounded like he was trying to put a bit of humor into it.

“I think I do.”

“What?”

“I think I do like you the way you like me.”

That was it. That was what you were so scared of. To feel the way he was feeling. To put yourself out there once more. To allow someone else to hurt you. But no matter how loud your fears screamed, the part of you that knew Jungkook well enough assured you that he wouldn’t hurt you. Not in purpose. Not like those that came before him, that broke you to pieces and left you to wallow on your misery.

Jungkook was looking at you as if he wasn’t believing anything that had just came out of your mouth. There was a frown in his features, and he was silent as the death. You were too nervous and growing anxious at this. This was you exposing your secrets, the last he could do was to not make you feel so naked, right?

“I don’t understand” he said, finally.

“I don’t want to be hurt again, and I don’t want to hurt you. But I think I like you. I like you a lot, actually. But… but I just don’t know what to do with it.”

“Wait… you like me? Noona? You like-like me?”

“We, as a group of grown-ups, really need to find a better way to express ourselves” you pointed out, ignoring for a second what was really happening and hiding behind humor. “This whole like-like shit going on is really disgraceful. We need to be more eloquent and…”

“Shut up” he interrupted you, crashing his lips onto yours.

You didn’t push him away, you welcomed him inside your arms and pulled him closer. To hell with the nervousness and the anxiety for a moment, you had wanted to kiss him for the longest time and it was finally happening. Parting your lips, he didn’t waste any time letting his tongue slid inside your mouth, and the kiss became so much more in less than expected.

“Noona, give me a chance” Jungkook spoke against your lips, breaking the kiss only to be able to communicate verbally. His hands had already found their home one in the middle of your back and the other pressed against your cheek. “I won’t hurt you, and you won’t hurt me, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that” you laughed, caressing his nose with your own.

“Then… then what about this: you give me a chance to prove you wrong, and if I’m wrong, you kick my ass” he smiled then. You had to laugh again.

Your heart was fluttering and your stomach was full of little worms moving at the same time. Your hands trembled and you felt electrified. You already knew your answer, you knew you couldn’t turn it down.

“Are you sure you want to do this? What about your lover girl back at the party?” you said, teasingly.

“She didn’t mean anything, I swear, noona” he solemnly assured you. “And yes, I’m more than sure about this. I’m in if you are.”

And you smiled, smiled and smiled because you knew you were already in too deep for your own convenience.

“I swear to God, I am so fucking glad you two finally decided to get your head out of your asses and be together at last” Jimin started, screaming with no real hint of happiness. “But if you don’t quit it with the lovey dovey act, I’m setting you two on fire.”

“Noona is already super-hot, she won’t even notice the flames” Jungkook replied, cocking an eyebrow at you while Jimin groaned.

“Yeah? I can make you all hot, too, so you won’t feel them either... all hot and bothered, that is” you replied, and Jimin groaned again, tossing a piece of chicken at you.

“Not while we’re eating!” he complained. Jungkook and you laughed, and you resumed spoon-feeding him, which had been what ticked Jimin off in the first place.

Jimin finally had enough and left the two of you alone with a grand exit filled with curses and slamming his door. Taehyung shook his head at that and continued to focus on his show on TV, ignoring everything around him again.

For the first time in a long ass time you could actually say things were looking up. When the initial shock passed, when your fears were finally conquered and your doubts tamed (which didn’t mean they had ceased existing, it just meant you stopped letting them control your existence), you started easing into a new routine with your new boyfriend. It was still awkward to call him like that, it was still too new to have him kissing you whenever he wanted, it was still a bit strange to have a new world opening before your very eyes, but it was also a challenge that filled you with thrill and, sometimes, you’d even go as far as to say that you were happy.

Truly happy.

That was just the beginning, you knew that too well, but you were trying to make sure it lasted as much as it could. You wanted to make sure that you had made everything in your power to help this relationship bloom into whatever it was going to become, to keep it healthy and to actually start communicating.

You are an animal of habit. It’s not that you made yourself be that way, you just are. All the best people (or at least everyone you know) are. Routine keeps you mentally stable most of the time, but sometimes a break, a change, whatever small, is needed. Now you understood that concept, now you finally got to grasp the true meaning behind all the changes you had to face so far.

Fuck change, you used to think. Now you are not so sure about that anymore.

#bts smut #bts scenarios #bts reactions #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkookxreader

15 notes · View notes