hobie-youre-not-helping

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Hobie: Why must I share a single brain cell with them. I mean lets be real Miguel is a jerk who deserves this but do we deserve Miguel?

They share one brain cell in the entire spiderverse. Different people, same font.

Trust me guys. This is in the next movie. I was in the writing room. (Lie)

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Askbox open Miguel was really really not liking my last answer to the slap lick fondle thing so I might expound upon that later on. It was funny watching his face change colors as he read that over and over. Got more pissed each time he did

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

So rather than Kill, Marry, Sleep with, can we do something a bit more PG. Slap, Lick, Fondle Miguel O'hara Spider-Gwen Miles Morales

Okay so you've given me choices and I love these choices.

Firstly I'm going to state that I'm not fondling Gwen thats just wrong. I guess a playful slap.

Secondly I would do any of these options for Miguel. Mostly because hear me out, they all would haunt him. Grab him randomly on the booty, lick the side of his face, slap him. As who would dare slap Miguel O'hara

Miles: I mean he's a teenager so not fondling him. Licking maybe because it would be weird as fuck and I'd like to see that react.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Um hi! I made you some cookies! *hands you the cookies* I was wondering if we could be friends?

Ohhh but of course cookies or was we brits call them Biscuits don't ask me why the fuck we can't have a universal name for everything among English speaking nations is beyond me. *Snacks on the cookies* These are quite nice and I do think friendship is a wonderful goal in mind so long as you aren't really friends with anyone who acts like Miguel.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Hobie: What if we all quit then you know what he's fucked. I mean i'm sure there's plenty of smart enough spider people to make our own spider society if we need one that's not ran by a control freak asshole who probs needs a girlfriend or something.

Stolen from @535zip on Twitter

[X]

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Hobie: First of all it's called magic. Expect the Unexpected or Consistently inconsistent. Why would you expect my hair to act that way because it should act that way. When am I one to follow the norms and rules of life?

Thank you tumblr dashboard for this gem

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Hobie: Pretty sure that was the idea. Lure them all away far away then screw them all over. To be honest ballsy move bit of a mad lad. I support this level of anarchy and chaos.

miles booking it through the spiderverse HQ with approximately a million spidermen after his ass like my guy. you can turn invisible

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

To be honest I'd break in just to move all his shit a few inches to the right or left. Wouldn't even tell him just flat out do it and let him guess/try to figure out if anyone used anything.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Well Miguel isn't pleased he says my answers to asks aren't wholly proper but ehhh why would I care what that tosser thinks. Keep the asks coming and ill keep answering since at this point the wanker is more and more unamused and I'm convinced he needs to get some.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

EAT THE RICH!!

I mean given the diet a lot of rich people eat im not sure that's a wise idea. The amount of celebrities and uber rich who have bizzare diets or a collection of drugs worries me. We should take a page from the French revolution, or perhaps the American revolution and revolt for better treatment and rights for all. Equal rights doesn't mean less rights for you this innt a fucking pie.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Fuck the rules. Cause chaos fight the power. Unless the rule is no murder a I feel that's a reasonable rule to follow.

"do you seriously think you're above the rules" the stupid ones yeah

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

You really got the world largest Nuts? That's kinda hot. Bet you'd get guys and girls drooling over em.

Lots of people drool over nuts, plenty of people are also allergic. Food insecurity is no joke mate. It's not right to make light of an issue so many are suffering from. Feed the poor starve the rich. For many families there's the choice between a roof over their head or food in bellies and to be frank that is bloody disgusting. Some corporate tosser's can own massive boats, mansions and do whatever they want whilst so many people are dying from preventable causes because they gotta choose.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

Take off all your clothes. Here's a jockstrap. You have to wear it. Show it off. Let's see you turn around a few times.

Nahhhh mate I already had my time as a runway model. Fuck that shit, the beauty industry and fashion industry is one giant cash grab and scam. You gotta look a part, be a select set of sizes, act the part, and God help if you're a exotic unicorn. Fuck all that man, they exploit the shit out of people. Bunch of wankers can go sod off.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

How big are those shoes you wear?

Big enough. I think most spider people have average sized feet for their race and gender. Nothing to big or nothing to little.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

I dunno if DC exists for you, but do you think you'd get along with John Constantine?

Okay so had to go to a few diverse worlds and Google this mate and not going to lie he seems to Cheese off the same wankers I do so I think we'd get along. Cannot confirm though.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

How big is that package?

You got a nice heavy pair of nuts?

Well I mean I've currently got a rather large package. Haven't really inspected it yet in depth to give you the finer points i still haven't opened it up but I already know what's inside.

A rather large pair of Coco de Mer (Sea Coconut). the customs paperwork on this was not only a bitch but also pointless. Like I should have just portaled with them. Would've saved me a fortune, but they are the world's largest nuts so there's that.

[hobie-youre-not-helping]

So do you only write in lower cases because you dont believe in capitalism? /jk

I choose to write however the heck I want. The biggest thing is WhY WrItE In caps or LOWERCASE all the time. I am consistently inconsistent.