highlife-scum - Tumblr blog

[highlife-scum]

[highlife-scum]

spacecasted​:

wow yet ANOTHER rick you guys really are everywhere huh…… wait

i’m sorry hold on they call you storage bc you run a daycare? does that…. do you call daycare child storage or something that’s hilarious

HA. yeah, there’s a fuckton of us and a roughly infinite number of us are either living on the citadel of ricks, or passing in and out of it. you know, the ones of us who think/thought it was a good idea. i’m uh. i got my ass rescued by a few friends a... fuck, i dunno. almost a month ago now i guess?

YUP. i was storage rick. on the citadel i’m from morty fighting was still the big cool thing for ricks and-- well, not just ricks, plenty of people around the multiverse to show up, capture some “unclaimed” mortys, and basically engage in tossing in teenagers for bloodsports. and the citadel doesn’t see mortys as people, so yeah. we get called a morty daycare but everyone know we’re more like a morty storage unit.

please ask me about the citadel i am happy to shit on the citadel of ricks. it’s such a fucking shitshow. bunch of ricks going huh we are all war criminals let’s band together and become a tyrannical government like the tyrannical governments we were railing against, there is absolutely no way this will turn out horribly

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@spacecasted

hey, nice to meet you. rick sanchez, but i go by storage on account of the fact that i run a daycare. or ran, i guess. what’s up with you?

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if you went to benihana and watched the chef make food on that big griddle and in the end just eat it all themselves, would that be fucked up or what

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the 1904 olympics but the citadel does it on fuckign purpose

“lets give a man rat poison and see what happens”

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If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you fucked something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon:

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

- Fucked the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks—the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run—came in first place

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contemplating scooping out my organs.

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French Opera Cake

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vegans make peace with honey

no shut up do it

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“Money can’t buy happiness!”

Me:

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oh wait shit i was so wrapped up in laughing at the post that i forgot to tag the cannibalism

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vegans really act like when you die you go through the sorrow boss fight and see the souls of every animal you’ve ever eaten in your life like

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Me: *carrying my ball python around the garden* This is enrichment. Do you feel the sunlight? Do you feel the breeze? This is what they’re doing at the zoos right now except you’re not a penguin or a sloth. Isn’t this stimulating? Don’t you feel more active and aware from all of the new sensory information you’re taking in outside your tank? Are you having fun?

My ball python: :|

My ball python: :P

My ball python: :|

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oh. i read a fucking bizarre manga last night. only three parts to it, it’s called school mermaid.

concept of the plot is that, in order to ensure someone falls in love with you, you have to chant this rhyme thing, and then you have to kill and eat a mermaid who bears the first letter of the person you’re in love with.

except the mermaids are feral swim team girls instead of, you know, the traditional idea of a mermaid. they look human but apparently are no thoughts head empty and they mostly like to cuddle with each other and swim and run around and giggle and also occasionally make inhuman SKREE noises.

if you say the chant and you don’t kill and eat a mermaid you also become a feral swim team girl. it’s fucking wild.

oh, to be a feral swim team person with no thoughts or responsibilities. just toss me out into a swimming pool, i’ll be fine.

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if aanyone makes me stand up one more time today i will either shoot them or cry. i took a shower and i fucking hurt and it’s hard to breathe and i almost threw up from the pain.

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people aren’t stuck in poverty because they’re dumb, like I know it’s a really hard pill to swallow but no one is poverty stricken because they deserve it no one is poverty stricken because they placed themselves there no one is poverty stricken out of choice