hidnplainsight

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reblog if fanfic writing has been a source of happiness for you and has helped with your mental health

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bro how are you so bad at this 💀

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Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

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“this pillow works better if your a back sleeper” bitch I’m a rotisserie chicken sleeper I don’t stop turning until sleep rips me forcefully from this world

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Was nobody gonna tell me they had a storyboard of Dolores reenacting the velociraptor kitchen scene with Bruno and Mirabel?!

I mean look at this

Hilarious

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rainy day 🌧

when pepa got upset bruno would just start making bad puns to cheer her up

or just to annoy her sometimes

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My phone broke and now I have a permanent green line, but I am a genius and made this because of that.

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“Oh God it’s the Lorax! He knows we’re burning the trees!” 

- Our Rogue, when we were trying to introduce a new Druid to the party.

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0 care

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One of the weird things about American culture is the tendency to refer to things by brand name, as opposed to the product name.

For example, I’ve known people to say Kleenex when they meant tissue. I’ve heard people use Hoover instead of vacuum.

And it gets to a point with certain things that some people can’t distinguish the difference.

Weedwhacker is a brand. How many people know the real term is “string trimmer”? Jell-O is a brand. And it’s so pervasive that people call literally any gelatin dessert “jello” even if it’s not made by Jell-O. Tupperware! That’s a brand!

The one thing that constantly messes with my head, though:

DUMPSTER IS A BRAND.

AND I HAVE GENUINELY NO IDEA WHAT TO CALL A DUMPSTER OTHER THAN A DUMPSTER.

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In 2006, the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia began hiring prostitutes as nursing home caregivers.

In an attempt to get sex trade workers off the streets and into the widely understaffed nursing home industry, they offered dozens of prostitutes the chance to train for a new career.

The program coordinator said the use of prostitutes was ‘an obvious move,’ because they have ‘good people skills, aren’t easily disgusted, and have zero fear of physical contact.’

Source

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He’s got rhythm

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Day 24093 This is my house. I won’t allow anyone to harm it. There should have been no more intruders after the last one. I do not want these people here. They will leave-

Day 24095 They are siblings. They are loud. Always singing and talking and stomping. As if they must be louder than anything else.

Day 24106 There are bolts on the door now. Bolts and hideous, gaudy new locks. How dare they-

Night 24112 I was going to fill the night with terrors. But he woke up screaming before I began. She came running from the other room. They sleep right across the hall from each other, with the doors on a crack. …they are young, are they not, to be living on their own. Was I ever so young?

Day 24129 She has fixed the squeak in the door at the top of the stairs. It never squeaked when I still lived.

Day 24121 The noise of the doorbell scares them. But they get so many deliveries. It is a good bell. It has worked all these years- I can see one of the men coming now with his packages, trudging up to the door. …perhaps if I knock before he is here, they will come and look before he can sound the bell.

Day 24114 He is planting flowers in boxes on my windowsills. I always wished I could have some flowers.

Night 24137 She is afraid of the dark. I could see it in her eyes when she got out of bed. …I lit the lamps for her.

Day 24142 They have moved the couch to the sun spot a little to the right of the window. That is where I used to have my armchair. It is the only sensible place for it.

Day 24163 Sometimes the noises of the world are suddenly too much for him. He winces and tries not to sway his head. This is my house. …I can keep it calm and quiet for a while.

Day 24178 She just got a phone call and now they are both laughing. Laughter is a good sound, isn’t it. They said this house has been good luck…

Night 24205 They are singing in our kitchen. He found my cookbook in the gap at the back of the kitchen cabinet and now they are trying to cook. They wanted to start with the soufflé. They don’t even know how to make béchamel! I turned the page to the casserole instead.

Day 24236 This is my house. These are my boarders. I won’t allow anyone to harm them.

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Vampire and his human wife after years of marriage

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my mom, dead in the middle of a conversation, slams on the breaks in the middle of a country road so she can pull over and take a picture of all these cows running for cover from the rain and adsfkjlfkdjg and thi dskfjfgj