hi-gemini

[hi-gemini]

Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[hi-gemini]

we're all living inside of a glass dream, But there is clarity when looking through its construction. I see outside this chamber some place unknown. I've never been there, so it doesn't feel safe. But it's somewhere that we'll all be together. I let my breath cloud the transparency, tracing my fingertips against the cold and mysterious boundary... I'm done with this empty safety. The outside calls to me, it calls to many of us. Someone out there qυ ǝm ǝʞɒW

[hi-gemini]

not sure where you are tonight,

i seemed to have lost you among starlight,

when the tears come back to my eyes,

it rains down through even clear night skies.

i used to look at you to find my way,

now i wonder why you couldn't stay,

all the clouds come to block my view,

but i keep on searching the sky for you.

[hi-gemini]

What if I could stop the clocks? I'd convince you that time was worth tricking, You'd tell me that you miss their ticking.

What if I could hold time in one hand and your hand in the other? I wouldn't want to let them go, You say "If we were apart, we'd both grow."

What if I could stop the clocks? You'd convince me that our time together will always be, But I couldn't convince you to spend more time with me.

[hi-gemini]

I used to know you. But now when I reach out to touch your face in my memories, My fingertips ripple the waters of my mind and your face is covered in the waves. You're there somewhere, lost out at seas, beyond my shore. Maybe at night if I followed the stars, my dreams would lead me to you. We'd be floating together but I just can't see your face... I'd reach and tug on your shoulder, And maybe you'd turn back. And maybe the oceans would give you back to me.

[hi-gemini]

sunset.

There's a sunset of sorts on every planet, But we never get bored of sharing this same one together. When the light collapses below the horizon and we're left in the dark, Somewhere else it's rising, over distant oceans. Our home here is spinning endlessly here and we can't feel it, And our Sun watches us dance around her as we will for her whole life. And our whole life we'll be washed over again and again with her light, like the waves in the open ocean, where no one is watching that same sunset as it travels back to us again tomorrow.

[hi-gemini]

ghost.

There's a soft impression in my mattress lying next to me, where you used to be. I push my fingers along it's groove but there's nothing there for me to move. When I think of you there, there's a coldness that replaces the air.

You're a ghost to me, because where have you gone? I whisper to you but you've been away so long. You've ghosted me, you've left me alone. When I want you around, you're nowhere to be found.

[hi-gemini]

I speak the language of lost souls. Its alphabet is carved into the black between each lost star in the sky. When you're the only one standing alone in a crowded room, and you're holding onto your cellphone or your car keys or your White Claw, like Life has shipwrecked you here and there aren't any lifeboats. You've only got this one floating object to confide in, so that it may keep you from drowning into the sea of the others. Sometimes I see more like me, floating along the surface, above glass reflection of the sky. I can't make my way to you but in these few moments I know we may be lost out here but there are others like us and the tides may pull us together someday towards the shore.

[hi-gemini]

I knew you once. For a snapshot of a moment in our lives. The clocks watched us together. And they wonder who you are now, now that the hands can't wrap around us anymore. I watched you fall off the face of the Earth. You drifted up into the sky and out into the stars without me. When I look up there, I know one of those lights belongs to you. You've probably forgotten our time together. Time does not reach you out so far from the gravity of the space we shared. When I see a shooting star and make a wish, I hope that star whispers it in your ear. All I want this star to say to you is that I wish that you are okay.

[hi-gemini]

The city lights always shine brighter from outside the city limits. Once you're among the lamplight there, it's harder to shine a beacon of your own. I sit out at the beach and look across the lake and my lighthouse cuts through the fog and the night to lead you home. At the rooftop where we used to sit and talk all night, I wish that the stars could keep me company now but the black sky is covered here with the metropolis glow. But maybe, at least, they look down at where I am from their fixture in the heavens. I'm a small light among the many but I know I'm not shining alone in the dark.

[hi-gemini]

We see the same stars from a different angle, and they look back down to us and see us apart. When I look up at the sky I see the blackness between the stars and wonder why they are all spread out so far. What if we were all together? I could move the stars together and wait for you, you'd meet me in the blackness up there. The stars would look at us from every angle, and when we looked at them, we'd be together.

[hi-gemini]

Where Do Our Dreams Go?

Where do our dreams go when we open our eyes? Their colors fade into the morning sunlight. As the day goes on, I forget that they were even here, but when they are I don't want them to go. Our dreams are like stories told to us in secret. Soon the secret is kept from even ourselves. I only remember the pieces, the colors, and you. After midnight, deep asleep, i'll find you there, I don't want to forget you... Where do our dreams go when we open our eyes?

[hi-gemini]

Where do our dreams go when we forget them? We're asleep on the beach and sinking into the sand. It covers our skin as the shore takes us somewhere distant from reality. When we wake up, we're clutching the sand as it escapes through our fingers. When it's gone, we forget where our dreams sailed us off to. We're marooned here in our reality. Going to work, buying groceries, saying goodbye. At night when we're asleep and back on that shore, Why can't we hold onto more of the sands of the places we're brought and bring them back with us when the next day comes?

[hi-gemini]

Forecast.

When I was in third grade, I thought I could control the weather with my mind. I remember accurately determining what days of the week it would rain one week and when it ended up coming true, I was sure that I could conjure a storm with my thoughts. Nineteen years later and I wish I could stop the storms when they come. I wish all my staring into the sky could split a cloud in two and send it off to far away places. In these daydreams, I'd lift off the ground and sink into the blue. I'd form clouds with every exhale of my breath and send them away. At night, the stars would coat my skin and I'd direct their twinkling light down to you. On our loneliest days apart, I'd show the shine of the sun. And when I grew tired of the sky, I'd float back down in the light of the moon, Water my garden with my rainclouds, and find a place to rest.

[hi-gemini]

Memories.

What if you could hold memories in your hands? Like the flowers I gave you. Like the umbrella I used to cover us from the rain. Do you keep our memories like I do? I tuck them away inside all of my colors. They're hidden in my makeup or melted into the ink of my words. When you're not around, they stay. Some nights they flow out from my iris in a dream, or in tears. Some mornings they dance through a windchime or reflect colors off the sunlight through my window. Where do you keep your memories of us? Sometimes I wonder if you keep them at all. You have to still have them. But I don't think you paint with them like I do. I think you keep them in a dark dusty box under your bed. I bet sometimes at midnight they creep up inside you and remind you of me in your dreams. When you wake up, you push them back down. What if you could hold memories in your hands? Would you choose to hold them?

[hi-gemini]

Orbit

Sometimes I feel I'm in orbit around you, Like you are the Earth and I am the Moon, You may not notice me pulling your tides, But if you should need me, I'll be by your side.

[hi-gemini]

Their lips move but no sound escapes them, The music falls into their mouth though, in some sort of backward way of singing. I look up and into their eyes as their silent words pierce the room like an incantation cast on all of us to forget everything else except them. Their lashes flutter and hands sift through the air, you can almost catch the light dance into their fingertips. Moments pass and time's forgotten except the few minutes we all witnessed them on stage. Then they're gone, the spotlight forgets their shapes. But i'll always remember them.