heysabino - Tumblr blog

[heysabino]

best friends tell each other everything

sometimes it'll just be a smell takes her right back to that room her mother left her with you she trusted you she had no idea of your sick fantasies  " you wanna play a game ?" She wants to go back & say no i'll be late for the bus stupidly she said yes raspberries you called them our secret raspberries her bright yellow camp shirt over her head her hands searching for an escape STOP & NO 

if a girl cries in an empty apartment does anyone hear it ?

the horn of the school bus you thrusting her clothes back on the pit of her stomach the sinking started then her best friend looking over as she fastened her seat belt on the bus " are you ok ?" TELL HER every inch of her screamed she’d never hidden anything from her but what does one six year old tell another ? she searched for the words & she couldn't so she cried instead so she held her hand & cried with her " just tell me when your ready"

[heysabino]

Rap Battles with Alexa

In love with my pen and paper once i touch the pad it's like i'm a shift shaper transformative informative sometimes I cannot shake ya lost in the rhythm so i guess its time to bake ugh ! i aint got no more weed so i guess i'll just sit around this is a tease let my mind ease into this all on its own who woulda known look at Bino with some kinda flowww

[heysabino]

why are you so incessant imbedded into me please just leave me be i fucked someone else & thought of you i hated how every touch made me wish it was you

the way he held me with such disregard to my body 

a foreigner on excavated land trying to fill the holes with sweet nothings

abrasive kisses 

out of sync  

ugh 

its never made me this sad before its because your more than all of it your the want the object of my every obsession kiss mee

[heysabino]

Fear is just a word

"you know its sucks cus i'm a hopeless romantic " how could those two things coincide ? they shouldn't they cant i implore you to reach go further please to anyone that loves with every fiber of your being stay in love because I envy you I snarl at the way i see you open up like an orchid free from worry fear sadness i sit still recounting everything that's ever come through me in fear fear of losing fear of inadequacy fear of abandonment so crippling 

[heysabino]

9-5pm

click click click the incessentant tapping of people typing does anyone look up anymore ? look at me don't u like my shirt ? my smile my hair my something mind numbing 9-5 day in day outt no connections no giggles no laughs no inside jokes no hugs who knew i'd long for intimacy in the workplace even bigger than that COLOR look around if everyone around u has no resemblance to your melanin intake please run

[heysabino]

From Lover to “Friend”

i'm sorry but that felt great ok no i take it back i'm not sorry i'm estatic elated at the knowing that i still make you nervous when i stare too long the fact that you want me but you know you lost me i want you to sit here now & fall in love with me & watch me dead u the way you deaded me u see i'm not being bitter or vindictive the truth is I love you but I love me more now & i need you to see it i need you to see how I blossom without you see how i glow of just pure happiness the happiness i thought i had with you or imagined cus how could real happiness exist in a secret

[heysabino]

Jay Oh Bee

i wonder if everyone else can see the low when i just can’t fake it anymore the smile disappears big bug eyes 

gaping hole in the center of me 

i’m screaming on the inside i fucking hate this place

[heysabino]

Follow

Met a cool friend talks to best friend about said friend finds new friend on social media 2K followers .... (gasp) how ? why ? oh she's an *insert every bullshit job in merica* ( does not add new friend on insta but stalks vigorously) welcome to friendship in 2017 

[heysabino]

1pm

what's the harm in it ? It's just once twice hmm maybe one more time won't hurt ( stop ) but it feels good not just the physical sensation of it all it's the rush the adrenaline the taboo the knowing that I don't want or need you I just crave you your lips those eyes even Mr. Snuffleupagus would envy it's the fact that i'm sitting here thinking about it in the middle of the afternoon while everyone types away at their desk click click click "wyd" sexting you

[heysabino]

Boo Boos

the faint purple the way it juts out against the rest of my skin the displaced middle child begging to be tended to the slight pulses of discomfort ever so slightly reminding me i'm tempted to press it see how long i could take the pain 5 10 15 20 seconds of pain 16 years of trying to get back on that bike

[heysabino]

9am

Morning Breath Coffee Disappointment Anger Jealousy More Coffee Mouthwash No not mouthwash ... alcohol ? ugh definitely Alcohol Dirty fingernails Mens Cologne In between toes Stress Everything I smell on my way to work

[heysabino]

G

your crooked smile  your scraggly voice You remind me of Edd no pun intended I only watched the show for DoubleD the understated genius in the circus of idiots Its more than that though its your brain & how i constantly find myself trying to pick at it delve deeper into what entices you gum the sweet stuff not the spearmint cool your panties off with smooth talk type corny jokes anything to make me laugh remarkable the way you rant about art/ school/ music /movies amused constantly & abundantly enthused by the sight of you

[heysabino]

Foreigners

Maria Eugeñia ! The way her R's rolled & her N's dragged you'd swear she invented the spanish language Everyone in my house had Maria except me

the American  

Ass-LEE Knee-Col ! Abuela thats not how you say my name

Live the  Dream

Go to school Graduate Get a good job Be happy

How ?

Blend in

Ash-LEE  Ni-coal Born of Ash People’s Victory

Dumb In A Can

Slaves to assimilation

& all i wanted was to not be the Spinelli in the world of Ashley's

[heysabino]

Dear Ethanol,

How did do you do it ? How did you make her love you? show'd her how to bare with being without you 9-5 but running into your arms at 5:01 Was I not enough ? Did i even cross her mind ? Slapstick over seasoned dinners & slurry words my adolescence she's beautiful funny & charming I could see why you'd fall for her but why'd she choose you ? you make her mean grotesque & irrational you make me hate her i despise my best friend yet here I stay tethered to her by this invisible umbilical cord i wonder if i cut it off who would die first her or me ?  

[heysabino]

That one time I fell in love

i missed you i missed you i missed you collar bone kisses squeeze my knee the purest moments in a crowded bar idk why but i'll never forget that moment its the exact moment i knew i'd love you 

( i didn't yet) 

but i knew i would

i love you i'm sorry i love you

[heysabino]

Looking at You

i have a strange affliction

lips

to trace every inch of you

to tremble at your voice not out of fear but out of the unfathomable thought that your voice tethers my entire universe

[heysabino]

What goes through my head while i talk to you ..

My fingertips envy hers

tracing your outer aura

your skin my fingertips envy hers

territories i'll never track sensations never to be felt

my fingertips envy hers

reaching yearning

break the boundaries ! do it

i reach you move i retract

secret language of the universe

my fingertips envy hers

(sighs) i guess i'll never know

"if love was a food what would it taste like ?"

my stomach churned (nows your chance)

"You"