heyahaele

[heyahaele]

I'm feeling some kind of a deep loneliness lately~ 080119

[heyahaele]

PROPOSAL PRESENTATION DAY

Lord give me strength 😭💖

[heyahaele]

Lord give me strength

Papasara lang intawn ko ug proposal please mag naning nako next semester

[heyahaele]

06032019 - Today I bumped into someone, a teacher, from highschool. One of the things brought up was a past relationship. She was asking how we are, and I said it ended quite a long time now which shook her a bit. She said they, perhaps the other teachers, were thinking that that would work well because 'we' looked so nice and in love with each other. I got quite embarrassed remembering if 'we' really looked like that. Eventually she asked who broke it up and why. It was me but I couldn't find a fast answer to why. I realized I couldn't remember. All I remember now is that started to not enjoy my time with that person, and the straight month being away was a very good time for me. For now, it has always been bugging me whether I did not do it right or end it right? I believe at that time it was the better thing to do. I don't think I'm being guilty but I just want to know the aftermath. If it also did that person good as much as it did to me. Was I a bad person? I guess only one person could answer that.

[heyahaele]

DISCLAIMER: Wrote this at the time were I had strong emotions, though not necessarily PEAK emotions, but strong as in after-event-and-processing strong hahaha (I wish i'm making sense) buuut now it's been more than a week and I'm past it so I can't really finish this with the same feels hahaha posting it for the sake of documenting(?)

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Why is it so difficult for me to write the goddamn thesis! 😭😭😭

I feel so baaadd. My adviser just vented out that she's uspet that my colleague and I were not updating to her as much often as she expected. She feels that we're not as committed as need be. It was around 2 months ago that we had our last research meeting and she had tasks and expectations. However, I was not able to present them, or at any point update why I haven't accomplished it or just plainly update, and this si what made her upset. Instead, i looked for another 'thing' which I can present, but basically still lack knowledge and application of it. I just did this to have SOMETHING to present. I was so scared and guilty in these last months because of the insubstantial work I have done. It feels like I've wasted almost 2 semesters, precious time I could have spent making quality research!

[heyahaele]

The thing is, even as you accomplish more and become greater in life, you will still feel this way sometimes. You have to accept who you are now as good enough because it’s the internal feelings that make all the difference, not the external achievements.

[heyahaele]

Aahh, another excuse not to do thesis work. 😓

Welp that's all for now (and the next few months?) 🤷

[heyahaele]

yes, how?

How to not feel empty po?

[heyahaele]

*extra weeksssss before thesis proposal huhuhu what’s so difficult about writing a thesis? 

Need an extra week before finals. Besh please

[heyahaele]

Shet still true at 2019 huhuhu heelp 

I’m becoming a wreck more and more each day. Sorry

[heyahaele]

We really do have a lot to thank the Sun for!! Happy 2018, everyone!

[heyahaele]

Francis of Assisi

[heyahaele]

Electrobordz

You, who always lets me realize the right things, the hurtful truths

“Nalain ka noh kay sila naka answer na nya ikaw wa pa.“

You, who reminds me that I’m never alone

“Teammate lagi ta. We help each other“

You, who also tells me not to whine (lowkey scold huhu)

“Antos sa gud mao gani muskuyla tag tarong.“

You who comfort me in extraordinary ways

“Barog diri. Para imong negative feelings magrounded.“

Also you, with the hilarious words that come out of nowhere

“Fire under it, fire over it. In the middle of it, it’s very good to eat.“

Thank you for giving me stability, for filling the empty spaces in my valence shell. Still I cannot find words to thank you enough for pacifying my storms. May the greater force let you obtain your heart’s desires (other than me :p) Happy birthday!

[heyahaele]

[heyahaele]

‘Love’, this English word: like other English words it has tense. ‘Loved’ or 'will love’ or 'have loved’. All these specific tenses mean Love is time-limited thing. Not infinite. It only exist in particular period of time. In Chinese, Love is '爱’ (ai). It has no tense. No past and future. Love in Chinese means a being, a situation, a circumstance. Love is existence, holding past and future. If our love existed in Chinese tense, then it will last for ever. It will be infinite.

Xiaolu Guo, A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers (via soracities)

[heyahaele]

Wala

Lima - limang linggo na Di na nakita nawawala Asan ang tahanan para sa kanya Na siyang sana'y sisilungan niya

Apat - apat na araw na Nalulunod sa bagyong ika nila Siya mismo ang gumawa Ngunit siya'y hamak na biktima

Tatlo - tatlong oras na Nandito mula kaninang alas dyes pa Nakatanaw sa kawalan naghihintay sa wala Aasang sana ang baha'y humupa na

Dalawa - dalawang minuto pa Sana'y kailangan upang makapunta Sa mataas na lugar at tuyong lupa Aayaw ba sya

Isa - isang segundo lang Ang pagitan sa patalim at balat niyang Putlang - putla at pagod nang Pilit buhayin ang natitira sa kanya

Wala - walang buhay na ba?

[heyahaele]

She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.

Eleanor & Park, Rainbow Rowell

Goddamnit.

(via thatwellspokentoken)