hesparksmyspunk

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight

Merlin's Beard, Potter, you really need to get your knickers out of a bunch! I was not hovering over you, nor was I treating you like you were some kind of invalid. If that's the perception you conjured up over me asking to pour you some pumpkin juice, then you have some concerning trust issues to work through. Let me be clear, Potter... I am not out to be your caretaker. I have no intentions of putting a bib on you or feeding you or anything mucked up bollocks along those lines. That's absolutely preposterous and absurd. I was simply trying to make an act of kindness to you like I would for anyone I cared about. It's what mates do, Potter. {My head shaking. Feeling myself becoming more miffed with him by the second} What will the next argument be? The next thing you can blame it on once your arm is no longer mucked up and in a cast? After all, that's how it feels... You are so knackered over someone showing any sense of care for you that you use any little setback as a reason to push me away... Before it was your course grades and now it's your arm... What will you blame it on next because everything I do is perceived as fussing. You say you want open communication between us, and that you want us both to be able to be ourselves, but so far, it's me who is allegedly mucking up your hopes and expectations. I am not going to change, Potter. I like showing the people with whom I care about that I care about them. That's how I show my adoration toward others, but it's certainly not because I deem them as helpless or needy. That's bollocks. There is a heaping difference between being a caretaker and fussing over someone, and being a true and caring mate to someone esteemed. {I paused in my words... Biting down gently on my bottom lip before I calmly added} Something tells me you don't want that, though. You don't want someone to show care toward you... That sort of thing opens the door to commitments, emotions, feelings, and letting built up walls come down. Perhaps you like the idea of us getting to know each other and spending time with each other in theory, but when it comes down to the reality of it, I think you push me away because you're used to being independent, on your own, and in the lead. I understand that, Potter... Should that be the case, we can just gradually get to know each other as friends and classmates, and see where it may or may not lead over time.

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight

That makes zero sense, James. I didn't insist on doing everything for you, nor was I fussing over you. I simply asked you if you wanted me to scoop one type of food onto your plate because I was closer to it. I wasn't trying to fuss, nor was I trying to wait on you hand and foot. I offered to scoop out /one/ thing to be helpful, and you snapped at me about it. That gesture didn't have anything to do with your injury either. Like I said, the bowl was closer to me so I figured it would be more convenient for you. My mates and I do that for each other daily. It's a sign of kindness, or at least that's how I perceive it. Either way, from that point on, I let you dish out all of your food on your own, as well as your beverage too. To be clear, looking out for each other and accepting a lending hand doesn't make someone weak. To me, it shows character over pridefulness and arrogance. You made your desires known though, so I won't offer help going forward. I certainly wouldn't want to make you feel weak or helpless. {I was conflicted and growing more so by the second. Leading me to wonder if we were just too different and that us as a couple wouldn't be compatible} Even so, going forward, if you want me to do something for you, then you need only to ask, and I will happily oblige. Unless that happens, I won't offer any aid or gestures intended to be helpful. Do we have an agreement on those terms?

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{Was I wrong to be bothered by the fact that I knew James felt uneasy about others seeing us together? It stung, to say the least. Perhaps it was naive of me to think that if James had snogged me right there in the commons room this morning that he would be over what others thought. Yet here he was suggesting us tutoring away from campus where we could do so alone. In other words, where we wouldn't be seen by others. Whether or not that's what he meant, I couldn't be certain, but I knew with all eyes on us at the dining hall table, that was neither the time nor the place to discuss his intentions. Still, it went beyond all of that though. It focused more on me feeling like I couldn't be myself with him. That I had to be some kind of contained, uncaring robot when I was around him. Even so, I paused in my determined steps when I heard him call out my name. My brows furrowing slightly as I saw him lean down as a means of catching his breath. James had just been released from the hospital wing, so it made sense that his haste now would cause him to end up out of breath. Out of justifiable fear that he would bite my head off for showing any sense of care or concern for him} It's not about that... {I bit down lightly on my bottom lip before I parted my lips to calmly continue} I don't want to walk on eggshells with you, Potter. Feeling like I can't show you any semblance of concern or care because you will bark back at me that you can take care of yourself. I know you can take care of yourself. You're more than capable of doing so, but looking out for the people I care about is something that comes naturally to me. I can't just shut that off. Not to mention me offering to dish some food out on your plate wasn't meant to imply you were helpless or that you couldn't manage on your own. I know you can. I just do things like that for the people I care about, whether they have a mucked up arm in a cast or not. It's who I am, Potter. I just want us to both be free and comfortable enough to be ourselves with the other, but I don't know if we can. I'm concerned that if we try, it will result in another spat between us, and I don't want to fight with you anymore, James. {I confessed. Not knowing where my confession would take this conversation, but I needed to be honest. I had a heart... Taking care of and looking out for others was who I was, but I felt like I couldn't be myself with James because each time I tried to be myself, I got shot down}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I could see by James's expression how awkward he was starting to feel as his mates were clearly having a conversation about us being here together. I knew James. He might be acting cavalier about our breakfast here in The Great Hall for all to see, but deep down it was bothering him. Case and point when he suggested I tutor him on the hills. He claimed it was so he could focus, but deep down I knew he was suggesting that place because nobody would see us there. He didn't want to be seen with me. It was as clear as day. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by that, nor should I be bothered by it, but I was... on both accounts. It stung to know James was still ashamed to be seen with me} Well, considering I am supposed to be tutoring you in potions, I don't think that will work outside of the potions lab, but it's okay, Potter, we don't need to tutor together. I know, even if you're trying to put on a brave face now, the thought of people seeing us together bothers you. {I gave a chaste nod as I drank the last of my pumpkin juice and then I finished off the last of my meal} It's fine though, Potter. You can go sit with your mates. I should head back to my room anyway. I have some studying to do before my first class... Shocking, I know. {I aired out with a sarcastic tone as I shifted up onto my feet} Good day, Potter. {I said quietly as I started toward the door in order to take my leave from the dining hall. I wasn't miffed currently. I actually expected it. I was, however, a bit disappointed though, but maybe we weren't meant to fit together. I silently considered as I continued the familiar walk toward the Gryffindor commons and then ultimately to my room so I could gather up what I needed before my classes commenced this morning}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I felt a level of uncertainty and nervousness when I was here with James. It was as though I was walking on egg shells with him now. In a constant state of worry that if I say or do something to so much as offer a semblance of care or concern, he'd bite my head off again. Honestly, I despised the feeling, which led me to wonder if this would even work out between James and myself. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should both be able to be yourselves with the other person. That thought leading me to wonder if Potter and I were just too different in order to be a compatible couple. A thought I'd keep to myself now as I made niceties at the table. Reminding myself that he'd bite my head off if I offered to scoop any of his food onto his plate for him. An offer I'd make toward anyone I cared about; regardless of a cast on their arm or not. It's what friends do. They look out for each other. I thought to myself as I handed him the scoop so he could dish himself out some eggs. I then poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice before I proceeded to eat some of the food on my plate} Mhmm. They did. Quite an array and assortment. {I said with a polite, cordial smile as I continued to eat. By now I noticed the dining hall filling with masses of students... Ones from all four of the houses, and yet, they all still paused long enough to flash James and I what appeared to be a look of pure disbelief in seeing us seated side by side one another here in the dining hall. As they did so, I couldn't help but to wonder James's thoughts on it. He was intently focused on what people thought of him, so I wondered if he would make an excuse to part ways with me in order to avoid any further looks and comments} We can commence with the tutoring whenever you want. We'll work on your schedule since mine is fairly open, with the exception of my class schedule and then studying in the library. {It's true. I was very focused on my class load and bettering myself as a student. A fact that made others deem me as a nerd, but I didn't care about that. Regardless though, Potter was the one with an active social life and his group of friends, so we could work around that for his tutoring}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I fought my instincts to help James when I saw him struggling with the pumpkin juice. This was difficult for me to get used to because I was someone who was used to doing things for others. That was just my nature. Still, James made it clear that he didn't want me doing anything for him, so I was doing what I could to resist that urge. I did smile when he mentioned how good the bacon was} You sold me on it. {I said with a lingering smile as I added a couple of pieces of bacon to my plate} Do you want some eggs and biscuits? {I asked as I put a little of each onto my plate; preparing to move the bowls of food in front of James so he could dish out some eggs for himself and also to grab a biscuit if he wanted them} Well, I have been told I can be a pretty good teaching when it comes to Potions. {I chuckled softly and smiled} Besides, even if some find Potions to be boring, you and I are good at making even tedious situations fun and memorable. {Well, James more so than me since he was the fun one in this relationship, but we were good together} Oh, look at these hashbrows. Perfectly golden. {I said with a grin as I scooped out a little onto my plate too. Realizing I had enough food, I lifted my fork and started eating} There are more serving containers further down the table too, but I think I've got enough food for now. {I said through a soft chuckle as I took a bite of my food. Very happy with my selections}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight

{My eyes shifted into a slight roll as I heard his retort. Me not respecting his boundaries? Who does he think he is? If I am not mistaken, it was him who initially sought me out for assistance in the fact that his uniform was twisted up and knackered within his arm sling, which was causing him discomfort. Regardless though, me offering my aid to someone in need was someone that I would do for anyone, simply because that was just in my nature. My parents raised me to be kind and to look out for others as I was able. All that to say, I would have done this gesture for anyone that I cared about; whether friend or someone that I fancied, purely in an effort to show kindness to others. Even so, I didn't want to argue, so I just went along with his request without any further urge to prolong this discussion} Fine, I won't touch you or show any sign of care or concern toward you any longer. I will ensure you allot me permission before I even consider showing you any affection, Potter. {I gave a curt nod in response. Figuring this would suffice in me "respecting his boundaries," since apparently caring for him broke the rules and boundaries in his mind} I hope the dining hall has pumpkin juice this morning... {I aired out in carefree conversation as we continued our walk toward the dining hall, and then ultimately took our seats at the Gryffindor table. I didn't miss the fact that all eyes were nosily beating down on us as we got situated at the table; leading me to wonder if James would be rethinking this whole being seen with me in public thing. I silently wondered as I poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice. Purely on instinct and nature I was going to offer to pour James a glass, since that's something I would do for any of my friends. I deemed it as a polite gesture and nothing beyond that, but given that he might once again misread that as me babying him, I opted against it. Instead quietly setting the pitcher of pumpkin juice back down onto the table, before I proceeded to dish out a little of each food component onto my plate, so I could begin eating} The breakfast selection is really good this morning. The bacon especially looks delicious. {I pointed out with a smile as I lifted my fork, so I could delve in} As far as potions goes, I'm perfectly fine with us focusing on that. After all, potions is my strongest course, so I am confident that I could offer you the best and most efficient help in that area. {I added assuringly before offering him a warm, yet slightly nervous smile. I liked James, so I didn't want to muck this up, but honestly, if we couldn't find a way for us both to be ourselves, then I wasn't certain this would work out in the end}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I made a face when I heard James's comment about me fussing over him, as well as his reminder that he's not weak and can take care of himself. My head giving a shake as I realized we're back to the hot and cold thing} What are you going on about, Potter? I was merely straightening one twisted part of your arm sling strap that I hadn't realized was still tangled in your jacket. Don't get your knickers in a bunch. I have no intentions of babying you, nor do I believe you are weak or helpless. I am perfectly aware of how capable you are, Potter, but just to be clear, nobody will deem or label you as weak or will think less of you is require a little bit of assistance from time to time. After all, your arm is broken and currently encased in a cast and sling, so one would understand if you might require a bit of aid, from time to time, given that you are down one working arm. {My shoulders rolling into a casual shrug as I felt him take my hand before we started toward the dining hall in order to grab a bite to eat} As far as the tutoring goes, we can focus on Potions for now, and then can always veer off into other classes, at your desire and preference. {Choosing my words carefully since apparently any form of wording or gesture that would show even an ounce of compassion, concern, or care would just result in another lecture from James about me treating him like a child or something. Frankly, I was tired of the hot and cold side of this friendship... relationship... or whatever this was looming between us}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{A part of me couldn't help but to wonder if all of this was too good to be true. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to give James Potter the benefit of the doubt... I wanted to believe this gesture he had just displayed in the Gryffindor commons room was real, but the last time I trusted him, he let me down. He hurt me last evening in the dining hall, so was I foolish to put my trust in him again now? I silently wondered as he agreed to join me in the dining hall} Then let's get you fed, Potter. Wouldn't want you wasting away or anything. Can't have you famished. {I gently teased him and a soft smile shifted to my lips as I gave one last adjustment to his arm sling and then his over jacket so he would be more comfortably dressed before my hand dropped to my side. I paused a second where I stood... Maybe a part of me bracing myself for the possibility that he might find a reason to change his mind now. To my relief, not only did he not change his mind, but I smiled softly when I felt his hand take mine; prompting me to lace my fingers through his as we made our way toward the door to exit the common room} After breakfast, I can tutor you some in potions, if you want. I trust you can pour potions into a vial or vase with one arm, yes? {I asked with a soft playfulness in my tone; all the while flashing him a slight grin} If you're not feeling up to it, we don't have to do that, though. It was merely a suggestion. As long as it doesn't end with either of us in the infirmary or risking expulsion, we can do whatever you desire, Potter. {I offered in a sense of compromise}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I didn’t miss the snickers and whispers taking place from behind us. Knowing any conversation our house mates were in prior to the conversation and kiss shared between James and myself, had long since passed. I am certain that their full focus was on us now. Case and point by the addition of snickers that followed at James’s suggestion for us to keep our relationship between us for now. A soft laugh leaving my lips and I nodded in agreement with his comment} This is true... Something tells me there is no chance of us hiding “us” from anyone now. Too many prying eyes and nosy nutters currently hanging on our every words. {I said before shooting them a look of disapproval. Was I surprised that they were nosily butting into our business now? No, but still, this was our business, so we deserved a bit of privacy; even if they are only pretending not to watch and listen in. I mean, Merlin’s Beard, don’t be so bloody obvious about it} Even so, now that our secret is no longer a secret, and I am certain news of our kiss will spread faster than that fungus Professor Sprout unintentionally grew with that one spell, perhaps we should venture to the dining hall together for breakfast? You know, unless you want and need to rest. If you do, I understand. {I said as my hand gently and gingerly traced across his arm sling} You’ve had a rough couple of days, so if you prefer to rest now, it’s quite alright... We could always hang out later, if you fancy that sort of thing. {I said with a smile as I awaited your reaction and response}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{My lips pulled into a slight frown when I saw James biting down into his lip; knowing I was unintentionally hurting him while I carefully adjusted his uniform sleeve, his arm cast, and his sling. Fortunately it wasn’t long before I finished and then I gently rested my hand on the side of his injured arm as I listened to his thought about our mates not being on board with the idea of us. Initially as he spoke, it sounded as though he wanted to keep us a secret from others, which bothered me. The last thing I wanted to do was to be a secret. After all, typically when you feel the need to keep something like that a secret, it’s usually because you’re ashamed of it. I didn’t want to be someone that James Potter was embarrassed to be seen with. With that thought in mind, my first instinct was to tell James to forget the whole thing. If he wanted to keep the fact that we were together a secret, then was this really right? I silently wondered as my lips parted; preparing to share my thoughts with him. That was until he spoke up again confessing that he wouldn’t want anyone else on his arm when attending the Yule Ball. Perhaps he wasn’t ashamed of me after all. I mean, he was attending a ball with me, which was a big step for him since he despised attending things like that. Finding myself momentarily reconsidering my instinct to tell him maybe us was a bad idea. Then he kissed me which honestly made me forget everything I had been planning to say... At least for the second} Try not to let it go to your head or anything, but you are quite a natural at snogging, Potter. That was a pristine kiss. {I grinned softly before my head ultimately bobbed into a nod} Okay, I can see your point of us not flaunting “us” in front of our mates, so they have the chance to warm up to the idea of us, but before I completely agree to that plan, I need to know one thing... Your thoughts of keeping “us” just between us for the time being is only temporary, right, and not because you’re embarrassed or ashamed at the thought of others finding out about us, right? {In my heart I already knew the answer to this question. Confirmation in my thoughts over the fact that he was declaring that he wanted us to attend the Yule Ball together, and he had just kissed me here in front of a room full of nosy people, but still, I needed to hear him confirm it, I guess}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I could read James Potter like a book, so even if he had lied to me about his mates, I would just end up seeing right through it. Not to mention, I would grow even more miffed with him too, as a result of the lie. All that to say, although I didn’t particular like hearing the truth now, I did appreciate it nonetheless} Maybe if your mates get to know me, I will grow on them over time. The way I see it, if you and I are going to make an effort to spend some time together, then your mates and my mates will just need to get used to the idea of us. {My casual way of confessing that my mates weren’t fond of James or his mates either. A fact that they were anything but shy about voicing to me. I silently considered as I gently untangled his uniform sleeve from around James’s cast. I felt bad as I did so, since I could see from his expression that his arm was really bothering him currently. Even so, I knew James wouldn’t want me to comment on his pain, since he wouldn’t want to run the risk of coming off as weak, even though that was completely ridiculous. He broke his arm, so naturally it was going to hurt for awhile. Ergo, it wasn’t something for him to feel ashamed or self-conscious about admitting to such. I thought to myself as I finished untangling his sleeve in order for it to fit more comfortably around his arm cast, before gently returning the sling to his arm, so his cast would be better supported. My one hand gently remained on the side of his arm sling, while my other hand continued holding his hand} Good because there’s nothing I would fancy more than to attend the Yule Ball with you. {I admitted with a vulnerable smile; hoping somehow this wouldn’t come back to bite me. Surprisingly to me, though, not only did Potter not come back with one of his characteristically smug smiles or so much as snarky comment, but instead, he leaned in and kissed me. My first instinct was to remove my hand promptly from his sling to smack him in the back of his head, but uncharacteristically for me, I didn’t. In fact, even more out of character for me, not only did I allow him to kiss me, but I also pressed my lips into his own; returning his kiss. The kiss didn’t last long, but as it broke, I could feel my eyes widen slightly in surprise before a slow smile gradually traced the far corners of my lips} Wow... Way to make me weak in the knees with that kiss, Potter. {My subtle way of expressing that it was a perfect kiss before my smile heightened slightly. I ignored the shocked gasps and whispers happening from those in the room who had just witnessed our kiss, and instead, just focused on James} Would you like to join me for breakfast in the dining hall or do you need to return to your dormitory suite to rest? Something tells me I already know the answer to that, as well as the look you will likely shoot my direction for asking such a question, but I still needed to ask. Otherwise if Madame Pomfrey finds out that I didn’t at least try to get you to rest, she might scold me. {I aired out with a soft chuckle; all the while flashing James a smile}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{Even though I didn’t necessarily like the words eliciting from Potter’s lips right now, I did appreciate his candor when it came to his concerns about how his mates would react to news of us attending the Yule Ball together. It was already a disaster last evening in The Dining Hall when Potter and I entered hand in hand, and matters managed to get even worse when we sat with his mates at the dining table. All that to say, James wasn’t exactly telling me anything I didn’t already know, in regard to his mates not adapting well to changes between us. A nod eventually bobbing my head in response} This is true... They seem to highly despise me. {I quietly added as I carefully removed the strap from the sling from around Potter’s shoulder; briefly setting it off to the side as I gently adjusted the uniform to make it more comfortable around his arm cast, since it was a bit tangled and in shambles, at the moment. While I worked, I continued responding to the previous topic of conversation} The question is though... In knowing how much your mates despise me, and the fact that they more than likely won’t support anything between us, do you still want something with me? Do you still want to be seen with me at the Yule Ball? {Fair questions as far as I was concerned} For my part, I don’t want to attend the Yule Ball with anyone but you either, Potter. However, I also don’t want a repeat of The Dining Hall when people see us together and start their juvenile and nonsensical gossip about us. {I briefly confessed before adding} Look, I fancy you, Potter, and I am willing to give you a chance to prove to me that everything you’re saying now is genuine, but I just need to know you’re sure you want this, in spite of what others might have to say about it. {I said with a smile. Suddenly feeling very vulnerable though, since the last time I confessed to James Potter that I fancied him, my heart ended up broken in the dining hall a short time later. I silently considered as I continued to slowly and gently adjust the arm cast with the uniform. Once I finished, I carefully slid the sling over his arm cast, then adjusted the strap around his neck area; hoping this would be more comfortable for him} There... Does that feel a bit better? {I asked with a soft smile as my hand rested lightly over his sling. I’d question further about his level of pain, but I knew Potter never liked to admit when he was suffering, so to avoid yet another spat between us, I opted to leave my question at that, for the time being}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I have to say, when I descending the windy staircase leading from the girl’s dormitory area and into the Gryffindor commons room, James Potter was the last person I expected to see. At this time of the morning, I didn’t expect to see anyone, but especially not James. For one, this hour of the morning was a good few hours before his usual rising time, but secondly, with the broken arm and other injuries he sustained from his fall, as well as the fact that he was released early from the hospital yesterday, I figured he’d be taking the day off from classes and such to rest. Yet as shocking as it would seem, not only was he standing here in front of me now fully dressed in his Gryffindor uniform, but he was basically pouring his heart out to me now. By now the abnormally busy commons room had fallen silent and all eyes were on us while they all witnessed James Potter basically going out of his mind over his remorse for how he treated me yesterday. Naturally, my inner temper told me I should just tell him to bugger off, yank my hand out from his hold, and to go about with my day, like this conversation never happened, but something stopped me... Maybe it was the vulnerability and guilt written all over his face now as he stood in front of me, or possibly even the genuine tone and remorse lacing his every word as he spoke. Whatever the case, it weakened my anger toward him. Expelling a soft sigh of defeat as I stood there looking at him in silence for a couple of seconds while trying to gather up the words to speak in return} Well, this is certainly a different side of you, Potter. {I quietly uttered out before another quiet breath left my lips. I was uncharacteristically torn right now on what to do or say. In one sense, I wanted to trust the words coming out of his mouth now were, not only genuine, but that he wouldn’t go back on them again the second his best mates are around again. In another sense, though, I highly esteemed James Potter, so naturally I wanted to believe he meant it this time around} What about your mates? Aren’t you still worried about what they will say if they see us together? Especially if we attend the Yule Ball together... Will you be regretting this when people start talking and whispering about us, Potter? {Fair questions, as far as I was concerned} Also, and please don’t scold me or snap at me for asking this, but could I please help you fix your cast and sling through your uniform? The way you’re wearing it looks very uncomfortable. {Knowing our problems last night started when I offered to put a turkey leg on his plate, so I certainly didn’t want to overstep again in offering my assistance to him now, but at the same point, it couldn’t have been easy for him to get dressed on his own with only one good arm, so although he looked uncomfortable, he did well considering his current limitations}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight

{By the time the next morning came around, I found myself awake and dressed earlier than normal. I don’t know why, exactly... Perhaps it was to avoid my suit-mates from more “advice” on the James Potter mistake I made, or maybe it was in hopes that I could escape the Gryffindor commons area before I had to encounter anyone who witnessed what took place in The Dining Hall last evening. I silently justified as I retrieved my book bag and sweater; quietly taking my leave from my dormitory suite before pulling the door closed behind me. I kept my head low as I brushed passed a few Gryffindor females chatting in the hallway, and then I made my way down the winding staircase; making it my goal to exit the Gryffindor commons as quickly as possible. So much for that plan. I thought with a frustrated sigh when I heard the familiar voice of James Potter echoing out from behind me. Using my nickname, I see. That was awfully brave of him. I thought with budding annoyance as I slowly turned in my stance to see him} Careful, Potter. People could hear you, and see you talking to me. {I said as I gave a gesturing nod toward a handful of other housemates here in the commons room} Or wait, is this the part where you’re speaking to me in public, because you pity me? {I shot back; clearly still hurt by how he treated me last night in the dining hall. Here I thought James Potter and I had finally come full circle with one another. That he and I shared a bond that I was only now starting to see had been bottled up feelings that I kept hidden, as a means of protecting myself from hurt. Stupidly though, I acted on those feelings; naive enough to believe James Potter felt the same way, and ironically, I just ended up hurt anyway, as a result} It’s fine, Potter... I get it. You see me as a know it all nerd, whom you can’t stand. You only agreed to attend the Yule Ball with me because you pitied me, which I now fully understand. There’s no need to make niceties between us now, or to show me charity either, Potter. I assure you, you are off the hook with our prior agreement with the Yule Ball. You should go with someone you actually fancy, which clearly, isn’t me. {My volume low in hopes of hiding the lump that had since formed in my throat as I spoke. I was sad and disappointed, and as much as I tried to mask that, I had a feeling James Potter would see straight through my brave face now} That aside though, if you still want me to tutor you in your potions class, I will. I made a promise to you, and in spite of our differences, I won’t go back on a promise. I’ll leave that decision up to you though. {I added before swallowing lowly} Now if you’ll excuse me, I should get to the dining hall for breakfast before my first class. {I quietly aired out as I slowly turned; preparing to leave the commons room, since I figured I covered everything that might be concerning James Potter now}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight 

{I highly esteemed and respected my suitmates and dearest mates, but at the moment, their incessant ranting about James Potter was growing on my last nerve. For my part, I did try to tune out their droning with some homework, then some studying, and ultimately with the use of a book I was reading, purely for pleasure. Given that all of that failed, since my mates just grew louder in volume, upon realizing I was attempting to ignore them. Naturally I knew that they meant well, but at the moment, I just wasn’t in the mood to be repeatedly scolded for my decision to agree to attend the Yule Ball with James Potter. The truth of the matter was though, they didn’t know James Potter the way that I did. Mind you, his prideful and untoward behavior in the dining hall didn’t exactly work in his favor, but regardless, I still believed there was more to James than the arrogant arse that he insisted on fronting when other people were around. Considering his treatment of me in the dining hall though, specifically in regard to his comments about only agreeing to attend the Yule Ball with me because he was taking pity on me, I realized I was done seeing the best in James Potter. Sure, I knew eventually he would grow up, and with that, hopefully see the error of his ways, but for now, I was done trying. James Potter could create whatever persona he desired to, at this point in time. I considered as I closed my book and set it down onto my nightstand, before shutting off my light and burying my face into my pillow. If my suitmates wanted to continue bashing James Potter, they were free to do so. Personally I found the topic overdone and droning on pointlessly, at this point in time, but to each their own, I suppose. With that thought in mind, after burying my face more comfortably into my pillow, I brought my eyes to a close; knowing I had an early morning ahead of me, so for now, I just needed some much needed rest; especially if I was forced to come face to face with James Potter at some point throughout the course of the day tomorrow}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}

[hesparksmyspunk]

@ofhastyinsight

{Was I hurt by Potter’s words and apathetic attitude? Yes. Naturally I was. I was foolish enough to believe he actually fancied me. Oh how incorrect I was in that assessment, given his attitude in the dining hall. Even as I replayed his words and mood in my head, was I surprised that he acted in the pompous, rude manner that he did? No, I wasn’t. Especially given the fact that his dim-witted mates were nearby. James is different when they aren’t around, which is proof in the difference of his behavior between the hospital wing and the dinging hall. I expelled a miffed sigh as I eventually reached Gryffindor tower. I wasn’t in the mood for the nonsensical attempt of The Fat Lady to demonstrate her pathetic operatic skills, or more accurately, the lack thereof, but given that she was the fixture keeping me between the lip of the staircase and the Gryffindor commons room, I knew I needed to humor her} Lovely as always, Fat Lady. Permission to pass now? Please. {I murmured out with barely any enthusiasm. Of course I ignored whatever quip that followed as she finally opened the passageway, so I could enter the Gryffindor commons room. Initially I considered sitting in there to read, until I was ready to retire for the night, but knowing it would only be a matter of time before the rest of my housemates returned, among them being James Potter and his obnoxious mates, I opted just to climb the winding staircase toward the girls’ dormitories. I gave a casual nod and a polite smile to a few of the female housemates I passed on my way through the hallways. Judging by their whispers and giggles as I passed though, something told me word of the happenings in the dining hall had already managed to get to them. I had no idea how they could have heard the musings so soon, but nothing surprised me about some of the daft dimbos in this house. I thought with a slight shake of my head as I continued to my dorm room; closing the door behind me before falling back into my four post bed with a book in hand. I wasn’t lying there long before Alice, Marlene, and Molly were joining me in our shared suit. Judging by their questioning looks, I knew immediately what conversational topic was about to be sparked} “You and James Potter were going to the Yule Ball together? Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell us you asked him, Lily?” {Molly initially asked before Marlene immediately jumped in to commend me on letting him off the hook} “It was a wise decision to release him from the invitation, Lily, because he made it clear to his adolescent mates that he only agreed to go with you because he pitied you. He just mocked you at the dining table when you left.” {Marlene pointed out before Alice quietly added} “I’m sorry, Lily, but you really dodged a bullet with that one. He isn’t a good guy.” {Maybe their questions and words were intended to be supportive of me, but honestly, it just made me feel that much worse, since I had foolishly let myself fall for James Potter. My mistake, I know. Some people will never change} We had a moment with one another when he was in the hospital wing, and I thought he had changed. I knew the truth would be revealed once he was around me and his mates showed up. I guess I have my answer now though. {I quietly aired out. Keeping my volume low, since I knew my sadness would immediately show in the breaking of my voice if I spoke in a normal volume} Either way, I appreciate your support, but I just want to forget the whole thing, if you would please. {I gently informed my best mates, before lifting my novel back into my view. Hoping I could distract my disappointment and hurt if I could just concentrate on the book in my hand}

@ofhastyinsight 

{I was clearly just playing around with my comments to James. Ensuring that he understood that fact, both in my playful tone, as well as the smile dressing my lips too. James and I had come, nearly full circle, today during my visit with him in his hospital room, and yet now it was starting to feel like we had made no progress at all. I suppose I should have expected this, given that all eyes were nosily on us currently here in The Great Hall. In spite of James playing it calm, cool, and collected, deep down I knew he would be ashamed to be seen with me. A deduction that was seemingly being proven now with his snappy and rude retorts} Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, Potter. I was only joking. {I murmured out through a slight roll of my eyes, as my eyes shifted back down toward my plate of food. As he continued speaking though, I could feel hurt filling me, initially, before I became outright miffed upon hearing his brash retort about me showing up at the hospital without invitation from him. Of course he didn’t word it just like that, but his point was made crystal clear, regardless. At that, I expressed a light breath; taking a final sip of my pumpkin juice, and then setting it down onto the table in front of my before my eyes shifted to him once more} To be clear, I am, in no way implying that you can’t take care of yourself, Potter. I am well aware that you neither want, nor require my assistance. I had simply offered as a means of being kind. I see now though that this was a mistake, on my part, so consider this a lesson learned for me. Additionally, I am also more than aware that you did not ask me to visit you at the hospital wing. I had learned you were injured, and on my own accord, as well as out of concern for you, I left Potions class and went directly to the hospital, to ensure that you were okay. My sincerest apologies that my visit interfered with your rest. That was not my intent, by any means. Again though, I sincerely apologize and this is, yet another, lesson learned for me. {At that, I slid the plate of corn bread into James’s reach, so he could take as much as he wanted. After removing my cloth napkin from my lap, I placed it down onto the table beside my plate, and then shifted up onto my feet} As far as the Yule Ball goes, I’m sure there is someone else you would prefer attending with, so consider yourself off the hook with that too. After all, the last thing I want to do is to impose or overstep. {I murmured out. The hurt evident in my voice as I spoke} Enjoy your evening, Potter. {Without another word, I turned to leave the table. The way I saw it, James made it obvious that he was only tolerable about having me around when nobody else was around, but the second his friends were nearby, all of that changed. I suppose James will always be ashamed of being near me whenever anybody else was around. That thought stung, but at least now I know the reality of the situation. I silently justified as I briskly left the dining hall, and then made route straight toward Gryffindor; figuring once I reach the commons room, I would head directly to my dorm room, so I could work on some homework I was currently falling behind on}