herrawliberation-blog

[herrawliberation-blog]

Just finished this amazing book. I’m shocked at the findings. Appalled by the stereotypes we, as Black Women still have to fight through today. Stereotypes that’s has plagued our minds, bodies, and sexuality since the time of Slavery. . . . I am taking my power and owning my sexuality. And focusing of building a healthy sexual relationship with myself. If you haven’t, I recommend you read this books ASAP. . . . #HerRawLiberation #PureRomance #BlackLiberatedWoman #SexuallyLiberatedWoman (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/B260_O-FwTImsMjUBrXZkhp4TkdpSZV1NFf9bs0/?igshid=tle7hjnvuu7c

[herrawliberation-blog]

What Does it Mean to Me?

What do sex, sexuality, and sexual health mean to me? Well, to be honest, I have no idea but that’s what I’ve been spending the last few months thinking about- hard. I was raised in the church. So, of course, that comes with “no sex before marriage.” My relationship with sex began when I was 17, freshmen year at Fayetteville State. Now, if you know me, you know that if and when I decide to be sexually active, I don’t stay active long. I’ll go years without being sexually active. The longest time I wasn’t active was 4 years. My decision to being inactive comes with my personal belief of how sacred sex is to me. I don’t want just anyone having access to my body. But I’ve been caught in this weird place of making decisions about sex because of what I want to do or making decisions about sex based on what I was told to do (based on the church.) My decisions making usually came from the latter and with that came with shame. Shame because of my own sexual ignorance, the shame of my body and the ideology of beauty based on Eurocentric standards, shame because of the church. Yes, I believe in Jesus and I still struggle with making a decision based on what religion say. But lately, it’s been a lot of me rejecting religion and just flat out asking God what does he want me to learn. A few months ago I went to the Museum of Sex in NYC and my mind was blown. Inside the museum, I stopped an asked “God, what do you want me to learn about my own sexuality. How do I discover my sexuality but yet, still honor you? I know I’ve been told to not have sex before marriage, but how are we expected to experience the amazing gift of sex and yet lack sexual knowledge. If we don’t know what we want and what we like we’ll lack the ability to verbalize it to our spouse. God, help me understand.” I didn’t call any of my pastor friends, I literally just asked God. The very next day He answered (I’ll post about that one later). I started following Ev’Yan Whitney (a sexuality doula who focuses on sexual healing and liberation) her work has inspired me to begin my own journey of healing, education, and liberation. But I don’t want to do this journey alone.