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[here-for-jaskier]

dabi secretly has a thing for animals. and by secretly, i mean it's very obvious, but he would rather immolate himself than admit it. hear me out.

noise elsewhere in his apartment wakes keigo up one day. great, he's being robbed. annoying, but whatever, the number 2 can deal with some burglars. following the source of the racket, he sleepily bumbles into the kitchen, and it is here that he feels actual dread at what he sees. dabi is raiding his fridge. oh no, this is so much worse than if he was being robbed. not bothering to spare a thought over how dabi even got in this time (he's upgraded the locks on all his doors and windows twice already, come on man), he jumps right in and says, "all right hot stuff, what's got you so anxious at four in the morning again?"

dabi doesn't answer him verbally, but he does react by whipping around to face him with a snarl, which is quickly made passive when he sees it's just keigo. okay, so dabi is definitely going through something if he forgets to expect keigo at his own pla-- oh my fucking god is that a kitten cradled in his elbow?

as if in response to that thought, dabi turns halfway back towards the fridge to hide the kitten from keigo, and oh, maybe he actually said that out loud in his abrupt confusion. the kitten gives a long, hearty meow in protest of all these sudden movements, and keigo has never seen the expression that crosses dabi's face as he looks down at the creature in that moment; he appears deeply concerned, his eyes wide and brows knit, so much so that it just doesn't look right on him. is this fucking cat his key to killing endeavor or something?

"she was screaming so loudly a few blocks away. i need to find her something to eat before she starves to death," dabi explains unprompted, and keigo chooses to ignore the not-so-masterfully controlled undertone of panic in his voice, because bantering with the villain now might mean this fascinating experience could end before keigo wants it to.

now fully awake, keigo closes the distance between he and dabi, and he reaches for the kitten, who is apparently a she, because respecting the cat's sex is apparently one of the S-rank villain's priorities right now. now closer, keigo gets a better look at her: she is a solid gray with green eyes. dabi makes an aborted move as if he doesn't want keigo to have the kitten, but seems to consider it instead. after at least ten full seconds of warring with himself, dabi extends his kitten arm to keigo, who extracts the kitten slowly with both hands so as to appease dabi's protective streak.

surprisingly, dabi does actually seem satisfied by this and proceeds to turn back to the fridge to dig through it, and wow, keigo is really going to have to reexamine their relationship to find out when dabi trusting him happened and why the thought of it makes him feel flustered, but that's for another time. keigo is so distracted by that train of thought that he only comes back to reality when dabi is reaching for the kitten again. he relinquishes the sacred creature and watches as dabi places her on the floor before a small bowl filled with milk.

okay, keigo was beyond distracted if he didn't notice dabi grabbing a bowl, setting it on the floor, filling it with milk, and tossing the carton on the countertop. the asshole didn't even throw the empty carton away. wait. is keigo... blushing? why is he blushing? he is not blushing. keigo prays dabi cannot see him blushing in the four-in-the-morning darkness, suddenly thankful for the villain's tendency to not turn on the lights. it's just... dabi trusts him and--no. he decides he can think about that when there is not a kitten on his kitchen floor who dabi is looking at with an expression that promises he would level a building for her.

snapping out of whatever is going on in his mind, keigo looks at the kitten, who is happily stood lapping away at the milk that he really would have liked to use for his coffee in a few hours. he almost decides not to comment on the fact that the kitten is plump and definitely not starving, but he can't help himself when he sees the concerned look still present on dabi's face. "i didn't peg you as a guy who would fall for the oldest trick in the animal book."

dabi startles slightly, apparently snapping out of something as he watched the kitten anxiously, now turning to keigo with a face more typical of him. "the fuck is that supposed to mean, feathers?" he says, clearly affronted by keigo's comment.

"i can't see a single rib on her. looks like she eats plenty," keigo remarks innocently, eyeing the kitten with a fake thoughtfulness, but punctuates what he says next with a smirk and eye contact: "you got played by a kitten because her pitiful little meow pulled at your heartstrings, huh?"

the fear of his entire apartment building burning down tonight comes and goes quickly, as at first dabi reaches as if to set keigo on fire, but after a glance back down at the kitten, he abandons this move, settling for an intense glare instead.

most significantly, he says absolutely nothing to this accusation.

laughter finds keigo, and it will not leave him. soon, he's devolved into cackling, holding his arms, eventually coming down from it and wiping stray tears from his eyes. dabi has gone from murderous to pouting now, and man, what keigo would give to photograph that and frame it on his wall.

[here-for-jaskier]

is dabi's burns being brought up his sore point?

That's an interesting question!

To answer this, we have to first look into where his burns came from in the first place and what their significance is.

Starting out with his backstory from chapters 301 and 302 Touya's quirk seemed quite promising so that even as a kid, his dad recognized the strength of it and was clearly building up Touya's confidence while training him - leading to Touya always being ready to learn more with a big smile on his face:

But with his hair turning white and his fire already strong, his body began to not be as compatible with his quirk as it used to be, giving him tiny burns:

These burns were only temporary, but the fact alone that his own fire could hurt him horrified him because up until then, he was confident in his ability to surpass All Might and with that, being able to become the person his father wanted and needed him to be; the only person his father could be proud of.

This small sign of weakness was the turning point for Touya and his relationship with his father, who then began to spend less time with him and only gave weak excuses as to why -

which upset Touya, of course. While we do see him yell and just look angry, it's important to keep in mind that anger is a secondary emotion and one that often occurs as a defense mechanism when someone feels weak and helpless. And considering Endvr abandoned every child that showed the slightest hint of weakness, it's likely to assume he didn't spend much time teaching Touya manners (since that would require him to have any himself) or teach him how to regulate his emotions (which we know he didn't since that is also why Touya later on almost died).

Touya also got defensive about his situation when Fuyumi voiced her concerns for him, saying that "I know my own body better than anyone" - and then leaving the room with tears streaming down his face without anyone able to see.

His whole relationship with his father was dependant on his quirk and overall strength, so constantly being burned by his own flames created a distance between him and the person he looked up to the most. He didn't want to be reminded of that, not even in the form of someone being concerned for his well-being, which would require him to acknowledge his weakness. If his father was already spending less time with him, what would happen if Touya actually admitted that he had a limit?

That is when he continued to train on his own in an attempt to prove everyone wrong and win his dad back. He denied his own weakness, even going as far as to make sure his scars wouldn't end up in visible places in hopes that no one would notice; putting on a happy facade to try and trick his dad into thinking that he had conquered his limits and was thus able to spend more time together again.

Moving forward a couple of years, we can see that this still affects him. During his fight with Geten in chapter 230 Dabi was acting his usual self, fighting normally and casually until Geten claims that only strength defines a person's worth which immediately shifts Dabi's mood to a serious, angered one, which is not only visible but also supported by his immediate response of "die already" (I'm gonna make a translation comparison for this fight soon!) -

It's also interesting to note that the reaction we get here is similar to chapter 115 when Dabi was going around to recruit people -

and upon being ugly, immediately looked angered and killed the criminals without hesitation. His expression is a lot more serious and cold and as many other people, like @transhawks in this incredible meta, have pointed out before - there is a huge emphasis on eyes in connection with the Todoroki family, especially Endvr, Dabi, and Shouto.

Fast forward even more and we get post-reveal Dabi, who is reflecting by himself, pointing out that he "can't feel anything" - something that applies to him both physically and mentally and it's not the first time he has pointed this out either.

The thing with Dabi is that he is probably the most self-aware character in the entire story. He knows his limits, he knows that his quirk is damaging him and that by over-using it, he is slowly killing himself, just as Shouto is pointing out in chapter 293 when he says "but you're burning up too" -

Dabi knows this. That's why he usually tends to end fights quickly because he doesn't have the stamina to drag fights out unnecessarily. So why does he do all of that if he is so aware of this?

The short answer: Because that's all he's got left.

Inside of him, there's still the little Touya that loves his father more than anything else and seeks his attention and approval. And Touya, who never did anything wrong, has always deserved to be loved unconditionally by his father. But instead, Endvr took everything away from Touya without allowing him to let go. Dabi's whole existence is a cry for help when no one would listen before and in addition, revenge for little Touya who didn't receive the love or help that he needed and asked for.

Bringing up his burns reminds him of everything he lost - the life he could have had that was taken away from him. It's a reminder that to the person he looked up to the most he's nothing but a failure. And even now he can't quite admit that he has a weakness and thus essentially give up. Even now he wants to impress his dad and prove him wrong.

So maybe his scars themselves aren't something he has a problem with; it's what they represent that still hurts him and will continue to hurt him until someone that isn't Touya (=Shouto) will fight for him and make sure he finally receives the help he needs.

[here-for-jaskier]

ok this would never happen because there's no way endeavor would invite hawks over for dinner even if it was for business purposes, but the idea lives in my head rent-free because i'm obsessed with imagining keigo finding out about dabi=touya on his own and going wacko over it.

endeavor invites keigo over for dinner as a business bonding thing and keigo says "sure whatever, weirder things have happened to me" (like the unexpected and very troubling affection he has recently discovered he feels for dabi). he arrives at the todoroki residence and it's all going well until he excuses himself to go use the restroom and happens to glance into a room as he passes, and he sees the touya shrine opened up in the darkness. he doesn't think much of it initially, but it's nagging at him when he returns to the dining room, so he brings it up.

endeavor, at this point aware of his failings as a father and husband, confesses it to be his eldest child who died young--his quirk was incompatible with his body, and it consumed him in a terrible accident. he tells keigo that he pays his respects every day, mourning his son's preventable death. keigo doesn't care that much, but he says he would like to pay his respects at the shrine himself, a request that endeavor allows.

they walk to the room together and endeavor flips on the lights. keigo gets a clear view of the boy's photograph now. it's bothering him. what is it about this kid that's bothering him, compelling him to even do this? touya todoroki's long-dead eyes are boring into his soul from across the room. keigo kneels before the photograph with his head bowed. when did he approach it? how was he so lost in thought that he doesn't remember crossing the room?

what is there to even think about?

keigo is sure endeavor just finished saying something, probably to him, but it didn't register. he looks up, now at arm's length from the ghost.

the ghost. touya todoroki's young demeanor is impossibly familiar. his cyan eyes are striking, but certainly only due to their resemblance to his father's.

a recent memory overtakes him so intensely that he stops seeing the photograph before him entirely.

he had been hanging with the league of villains in their latest terrible hideout. a couch. dabi had been sleeping there when he arrived, but awoke with a grumble at the commotion himiko caused when she came to fawn over his windswept feathers. with dabi having stalked to his own room, himiko dragged him to the couch. an ungodly amount of makeup made its home on the coffee table in front of them; he sighed internally, realizing that himiko had texted him to come because she wanted to experiment on his face with definitely-stolen makeup.. in the middle of his patrol. great.

from his place on the couch, keigo's left hand now rested roundabout where dabi's head had been. he looked around idly as he waited for himiko to decide what she wanted to do first. a few of dabi's black hairs stood out on the ratty beige couch. being a little bit of a clean freak who was also growing bored, he went to pick them off of the couch and drop them to the floor, but upon doing so he noticed something strange: at the very end of each hair, the black faded to a pure white, consuming such a short amount of each hair that it was almost imperceptible, almost indistinguishable from the follicles.

the possibility of it being the roots of dabi's hair, that his hair was not naturally black, escaped his mind as himiko chose that moment to grab his face and begin her very important work. so what if dabi was going gray at their age? it's not unheard of, especially not for someone in a high-stress occupation such as being one of japan's top ten most wanted villains.

the photograph, the altar, the ghost snaps back into view below him. when did he stand up? he turns on his heels.

endeavor is halfway through the door, now looking back at him strangely.

as if he was not privy to what keigo has just gone through.

as if he has no idea what he has done.

in an upsetting trend of lapses in memory over the last hour, keigo does not remember the fight that ensued when he locked eyes with endeavor. he's got bits and pieces, but not enough to make his hands stop shaking as he flies aimlessly through the city.

he remembers the feeling of a feather slicing through endeavor's arm and the cry of pain it wrought from japan's #1, but he doesn't remember what he had yelled to make his throat so scratchy.

he remembers feeling a sort of rage so blind it bled into helplessness, but he also remembers the feeling of calm that overtook him when he remembered that this wasn't his kill to make.

the city lights blur beneath him, distorted both from the speed of his travel and the tears that surely mark his entire flight path like breadcrumbs.

the supposedly aimless flying ends with a rough landing on his penthouse's balcony. the light is on inside; of course the light is on inside. keigo pulls the sliding glass door open with a renewed vigor. the ghost's eyes pierce through him from their place on his couch. dabi tells him he looks like shit. even as shitty as he feels, he can hear the genuine concern in that tone.

keigo cries harder, unmoved from where he stepped in from the balcony staring at the floor. unnaturally cold hands touch his face, and he jumps. when did dabi cross the room? he once approached the photograph in a trance; the photograph now approaches him.

dabi definitely just finished saying something, definitely to him, but it didn't register. he looks up, breathing the same air as the ghost. dabi looks simultaneously stoic but very distressed, with a distinct air of "ready to cremate whoever caused this" should keigo give the word. in another context, his expression may make keigo laugh; he's like a kitten that doesn't yet know how much it wants to care about humans. but this isn't another context. it's too real.

in another world he may laugh, and in another universe he may throw dabi to the ground and call the commission, but here and now he can only meet the eyes of the ghost and say to them, "i know," a short explanation that itself is too much for him to bear, and he descends into uncontrollable sobs as dabi holds him. it is some time later that he breaks free of his episode on the floor, dabi still holding him tightly but refusing to look at him any longer, suspiciously quiet for how aggravating he usually is.

"i almost killed him," offers keigo. this draws those cyan eyes back to his direction. "but i let him live. he-- you--" he trails off. dabi seems to understand. he smirks. in another context, his expression could be menacing--this is a villain with a body count after all--but in this moment, it's a comfort. it's how dabi always looks. it's grounding. in this moment, keigo sees not a ruthless maniac, but he sees the photograph before which he knelt.

[here-for-jaskier]

obsessed with the fact that touya became Wet by doing the big reveal with his hair. for a few moments before he activated his quirk and evaporated everything, he was like a wet cat. a stupid little damp beast with wet hair and soggy clothes. he tried to be awesome and intimidating while looking like he just hopped out of the shower or got shoved into a pool. his whole dance and the "come dance with your son in hell" line, each performed masterfully while sopping fucking wet.

[here-for-jaskier]

rewatching some witcher clips and absolutely obsessed with jaskier's lil jump right here when he and yen are running away from the goons

lil leapfrog boi

jumpin over his problems

[here-for-jaskier]

For the new year I'm starting with some landscape pieces!

[here-for-jaskier]

Geralt likes his personal space.

Jaskier also likes Geralt's personal space.

And therein lie so many of Geralt's problems.

Problem one:

Jaskier takes every opportunity he can get to drape his arms around Geralt's waist, as if Geralt was one of his lovers. And when Geralt sees him holding someone else, he finds himself wishing he were in their place.

Problem two:

Jaskier likes resting his head on Geralt's shoulder and closing his eyes, as if Geralt was someone Jaskier felt fully safe with.

And when they go their seperated ways for a while, the only weight Geralt has on his shoulders is the weight of his swords.

Problem three:

Jaskier likes taking Geralt's hand and dragging him along to show him something exciting, as if Geralt was someone he wanted to share his life with. And when they walk side by side, Geralt's hands are twitching, as he wishes he could be brave enough to take hold of Jaskier's hand as well.

Problem four:

Jaskier likes falling asleep holding Geralt close, as if Geralt was someone who needed cuddling and protecting. And when Geralt is at Kaer Morhen for the winter, he finds he cant fall sleep without his bard being there anymore.

All in all, Geralt's problem is this:

Jaskier likes being in Geralt's personal space.

Geralt also likes Jaskier being in his personal space.

[here-for-jaskier]

Geralt and Jaskier + Eyebrows™

[here-for-jaskier]

jaskier looking around an entire tavern full of normal people and then seeing the SCARIEST MAN just sitting in a corner giving him a DEATH GLARE and just going “yep, i wanna talk to that one.” has the same energy as Lilo picking the fucking rabid alien instead of the normal dogs in Lilo and Stitch and i think that’s beautiful.

[here-for-jaskier]

i think that if jaskier was cursed into a cat or wolf or bird or something, geralt would never figure out that the animal was him without outside influence. jaskier would try his damnedest but get no where, no matter how fucking obvious it was.

he could perch on his lute and pluck out a song as a bird and geralt would just shoo him off and scold him because 'that is a delicate instrument and jaskier would kill him if there was even a scratch on it. well, he would really just make a huge fuss about it and sulk for days.'

as a wolf jaskier could dig through his bags and drag a potion to him and geralt would be too loopy with blood loss to realize that its a little odd for a wolf to know exactly which potion he needed and where to get it. he dismisses these notions as hallucinations when he wakes up the next day.

and geralt really shouldve taken the hint when a cat didnt hiss and flee from him. not to mention the familiar brown color of the cat's pelt and his cornflower blue eyes, or the strangely melodic way he meows.

and of course, jaskiers absence doesnt slip his notice. he had followed his trail happen to head the same way that rumors of the witcher's bard's travels directed him. when he got there, the tavern keep had handed over jaskier's lute and told him that the bard disappeared without a trace.

hence, his traveling. any trails he can find all go dead, and hes getting worried and desperate annoyed by having to carry around jaskier's lute everywhere. but for whatever reason, an animal has made itself his companion in jaskier's stead. its not the same, but its comforting to have a presence at his side as he searches for his bard.

sure, the animal is a little weird- it constantly makes its weird noises, oftentimes eerily familiar, but geralt just attributes that to the fact that he has his bard on his mind all the time. sure, it seems to dote on him after hunts, prodding and poking him until he treats his wounds, but it might just know that the scent of blood would draw in predators in the forest.

when he finally gives in and locates yennefer to track jaskier down, she looks at him like hes a fucking moron.

[here-for-jaskier]

raise your hand if you hate that jaskier’s last scene in both seasons was someone telling him he was worthless and unwelcome

[here-for-jaskier]

S4 but the plot is that Jaskier gets drunk, fucks about with something magical, and wakes up in a different universe where everything is exactly the same except Geralt is a Hemsworth. 

[here-for-jaskier]

Yennefer and Jaskier when their husband comes home with plastic surgery in S4

gif cred

[here-for-jaskier]

Touch Prompts - 9. Listening to the other’s heartbeat

squeezing in one last geraskier piece before the year ends! thank you for following along with me this year<33

[here-for-jaskier]

Every geraskier fic be like

[here-for-jaskier]

Jaskier: I am the descendent of an elven bard!

Vesemir: Ah yes that would explain the lack of aging and the musical inclination.

Jaskier: And she was in love with a witcher!

Vesemir: And that would explain the other thing.

[here-for-jaskier]

Your pain matters, Jaskier. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide it from me. This happened because of me. And I might not deserve your forgiveness, but I would still like to have it. I’d… like to try and do better, if you’d let me.