her-imperius-condessy

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“I’m too short for this shit”

— me trying to reach anything ever (via my-name-is-void)

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Walk around Nazareth

Become friends with Messiah

???

Prophet

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What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

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Aquaman can manipulate and control the seas, oceans and their creatures, and therefore controlling 71% of the earth’s surface, while also having full knowledge of the massive unexplored percentage of said oceans, and yet he is a laughing stock in popular media while a billionaire furry with a bdsm kink who fights clowns is seen as a badass please explain

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my friends cat loves attacking xmas trees but hates plastic bags

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[Retweet]

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Are regular Mandalorians even trained in sword fighting? I don't think we ever saw Din use anything approaching the darksaber so like... imagine the whispers about a new Mand'alor making their way through the galaxy and Mandalorians sharing the increasingly reverent stories of a man with no name who defeated the imperial thieve and won back what was stolen. And not even Bo-Katan dared to challenge him...

Meanwhile Din is walking around with the darksaber like "Excu... Excuse me? What is this fucking thing and can you show me how to use it?"

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stiles, talking to jackson: I am NOT gaslighting you. I am lying to you. Gaslighting implies a level of effort I am simply not putting. Deceiving you doesn't require much.

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dominiccoop: Howard stark has just invented the electric car. Although calls it a guitar by mistake. 

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im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

broke high schooler

broke college student

freelance photographer

high school teacher

unpaid intern

pizza delivery guy

research assistant for doomed scientific project

guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos

being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

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the emperor, reversed

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its extremely unlikely that DB Cooper is still alive (also he very well might have died from his jump) but if he is and if the DNA evidence identifies him thru a relative or w/e i think he should not be charged solely on the grounds that it was pretty dope