hellishmess

[hellishmess]

40: The Wake of Understanding

March 6,2019 2:00 am

[Aspen]

Ana's face rests against the door frame. Puffs of breath can be seen against the glass.

Tonight went way sideways. She saw everything now. The side of us that I didn't want her to know.

She must be terrified, disgusted.

"She's going to hate me." I mutter.

"She's no stranger to death." Shay said, "She will not hate you."

I knew what he meant. Ana told me she’d killed someone in self defense. A man that tried to break into her house and rob her. She was a wreck even just reliving the memory for me.

"This is different. We sought out and killed them. She took life in self defense."

He didn't respond then.

"She will understand that they were void," Maeve added in.

Easy for them to say.

I breath in, watching as darkness speeds by us. If she decides that she can't be with me...

The thought dies. I want to wake her up and apologize. Tell her that I'll do whatever she says to make it up to her.

Can this even be made up?

The thought scared me still. Air stuck in my throat; muscles balled up.

This wasn't a fight. It's not like I forgot her birthday. I killed someone in front of her.

"Just take it one step at a time," Shay said. "She either will understand or she won't. Either way she can't tear herself away from us."

I scoff and bang my head against the window. "You're really bad at giving comforting advice."

"I'm told the effort is what counts."

I look to Maeve, "Quit lying to the vampire. It does no one any good."

She laughs, "If he tries to create a support group I'll cut him down then."

"Whatever," I huff. We're almost to my place. Quiet falls around us. My building was in view.

"I'm hungry." She says, rubbing her stomach.

"Better clean those wounds before you think about cooking anything."

Her middle finger shoots up without her even looking back. "I wouldn't have had these problems if you'd have pulled your weight."

"Fuck off. You handled them fine. I had Ana to look after."

"We're all lucky Ronan wasn't at this camp. Or we'd all be in a shit load of trouble."

She was right about that. With Lewick’s intell, we were drawing closer and closer to Ronan, and, by God, I pray that Ana is far away when we catch him.

Shay slides to a stop in the front of my building. I inhale and glance at Ana. She's still fogging up the window. I reach to nudge her, "Ana?"

"Im up," she says, her voice cold.

My gut twists at the tone in her voice.

Without a word, she gets out. With her arms wrapped around her, she walks up to my door.

I pause beside Maeve's door, unsure of how to handle this.

"It's going to be okay. Just be patient. " Maeve encouraged me forward.

My bottom lip's pressed between my teeth. "Thanks."

Climbing up the stairs towards Ana was hard. Dread drug me down and my stomach only twisted harder as I neared my door. Ana didn't turn to look at me when I opened it.

I locked it behind us, turning to see Ana with her bags in hand. She flings the bedroom door open, slinging open the drawers full of her clothes.

"Ana." I brush her arm to stop her.

She yanks away from me. "Don't touch me!"

I flinch back, giving her space while she continues to throw her things in there.

My mind starts to spin. My fear was right. I hold my hands up in peace. "Ana please."

"No," she shakes her head furiously. "I can't do this right now."

"I told you you weren’t ready. I warned you."

Ana whirls around, her eyes red from held back tears. "You're right. I should have listened to you. But I didn't and now I have to live with the understanding that my girlfriend is a killer. That my friends are killers."

I wince at the animosity of her words. "They were bad guys." I tried to reason with her. "Apart of Ronan’s crew. They weren't good people and they probably killed people themselves."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?! Dog eat dog bullshit," She hisses.

I can feel her pushing me away, see the fear in the back of her eyes. Panic rises up and clouds my judgement.

"Yes!" My voice raises and frustration flushes my body. I make a wide gesture with my hands. "The whole world's a better place without assholes like that and with them gone it's just less man power Ronan has."

"A killer of bad men is still a killer." Ana stops, practically freezes solid as she stares at me. The look in her eye turns my blood cold. "Aspen, you slaughtered those men effortlessly."

Her voice rises to the point where she's yelling, "With a flick of your wrist you killed a man, and then even without your magic, you managed to slit the throat of another right before stabbing him through the temple."

My mouths frozen shut. I can't think of anything to say. What can make this better?

Nothing comes to my rescue.

"I saw the darkness that you own and it scares the shit out of me." Ana blinks like she's clearing the memory away. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Please, Ana! I'd never hurt you. You know that. You know me.”

"I don't know that anymore! I'm just now meeting this part of you!"

I step towards her. "An-"

She takes two steps back. Her arm extended to keep me at bay. "No. Don't come near me."

I stare at her hand. Hurt and angry, I snap out. "I told you. I fucking told you, but you were relentless! I tried to warn you because I knew you wouldn't understand."

"What is there to understand?!" Ana cries looking at me as if she wants to be able to.

She corrects herself, "How can I understand? How am I supposed to rationalize what I just saw? How am I supposed to live knowing that my girlfriend can kill with the same amount of effort it takes me to fold laundry?!"

Swept up in her own emotions, Ana takes a step closer to me. Her tearful eyes pin mine, and my heart breaks even further.

Her lip trembles as she chokes out her next thought. "How can I let you touch me with the exact same hands you used to kill that man? If you can tell me how I'm supposed to do that then I'll stay."

I bite down on my lip. I couldn't think of anything to make this any better. My hands twitched to wipe away her tears, brush her hair back behind her ears, but the knowledge that she'd flinch away holds me back.

Instead, frustration brought my hand through my own hair, trying to control the anger that rose to protect my hurt feelings.

"Exactly." Ana mutters, returning to throwing her clothes in her bags.

"I'm sorry," The words are ripped out of my chest in a plea. "Ana, I'm sorry. Let me make this up to you? I'll do anything. Don’t do this. Please."

She snaps up at me, "This isn't something you can just make up! I can't just forget this. Don't you understand that?"

"No! I don't understand that. Just like you don't get why we had to do what we did."

"Murder is never necessary."

"Oh so what you did wasn't necessary?" The retort was out of my mouth before I knew it.

The air catches in my throat, turning solid.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I can't believe you just said that." Ana gasps.

“I'm sorry." I rush out, "I didn't mean it. It just slipped out and I was trying to get you to understand that-"

Ana turns into the bathroom. "Just don't. Don't say another word. I'm leaving."

"Where will you go? It's dangerous out there and it's late. You can't leave." I say, watching as she shoves her shampoo and conditioner on top of all her clothes.

Ana zipped her bags with force, "Are you going to forcefully keep me here?"

I shake my head. "You know I would never do anything against your will."

"Then I'm leaving." Grabbing her bag, she heads for the door.

"Ana! At least let me escort you to wherever."

"Why? So all the other killers will know I'm already the victim of another fucking murderer?"

I stop. It's another stab. I can't fight with her anymore. "I can't see you get hurt."

"And I can't see you." Ana shoots back, her face a wobbly mask of disgust.

I retreat back into myself. Anger rises to stay, protecting the sensitive feelings that threaten to rip me apart.

"Then leave," I grit out through clenched teeth. "If I'm so disgusting and evil to you, leave. You'll see. The Otherworld is even worse than the human one and sooner or later your going to experience it first hand."

Ana swings the door open. With one foot already outside, she pauses. "I've already experienced it."

I don't get another word in. The slam of my front door signals the end of the night.

My mind tries to process everything. I stand in the middle of my living room, fuming and huffing as my eyes burn holes through the door. Foolish hope flickers through my head, thinking she'll come back. Hoping that I'll think of something to say so I can chase after her and try and convince her to stay.

Neither happen. Instead a tide of hurt and anger swallows me whole.

"Fuck!" I scream, over turning my coffee table. Things scatter and I fling off my shoes. My fingers brush against the sheaths of my blades.

I throw the one I used tonight, sinking it deep into a wooden beam in the kitchen.

Unbuckling the rest of them and letting them clang to the floor, I strip and head for the shower.

Tuning the knob to blast the hot water, I step in. Cold water takes my breath away, stinging against my skin, but I hold my body still, suppressing shivers as I think back to Ana's disgrace of me.

The water started to turn hot, continuing to heat up until it scalds my shoulders. I see the blood that stained my hands. It flakes off and runs down my tub, tinting the water pink.

Ana saw the blood. The hands of a killer.

I scrub my body vigorously, trying to feel clean. The fight left me writhing with emotion and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I wanted to spit at the fact that I wasn't upset about the kills. I was upset at how Ana perceives me. She's disgusted of me, scared of me and whatever darkness she saw.

I hold my face under the water, closing my eyes to see the look on her face when I tried to touch her.

I bang my fist against the tile and shut off the shower.

Her words and the stupid things I said, replay in my head.

A numbness settles in my chest, amidst all the other emotions. Disgust for myself starts to color the void, and I let myself sit in it.

Maybe I deserve this. This pain and unhappiness for being such a bastard. This is my punishment for taking life like I have.

Slipping on a tank top, I find the booze in my kitchen and take it to bed with me.

The bottle replaces Ana.

I sneer at the cruel thought and take a swig, culling out the torturous feelings.

[hellishmess]

39: The Terrible Truth

March 6,2019 11:00 pm

[Ana]

I laid in the trunk of the car, recalling overhearing Maeve tell Aspen they’re leaving at 11pm in the little Chevy Impala.

It was a crazy thing to do, but I'm finally going to see what they've been doing.

I laid tucked away as they got into the car and began the drive to wherever they were heading.

The car turns onto gravel before we roll to a stop. Satisfaction makes me grin like a cat, and a smugness made me giddy.

Ooooh, no. They weren’t expecting this.

I listen as they quickly get out of the car, flinching into the floor when I heard a sudden crack of sound.

Undeterred, I pulled the emergency release lever in the back of the trunk, crawling out of the car and across the yard.

My grin fell when I got to the porch. They must have stormed the house. The door was hanging off it's hinges. Splintered strips of wood hung crooked along with the light fixture that hung above the door.

I wondered deeper into the house.

The stereo was untouched. You belong to me by patience and prudence plays on repeat.

However, the rest of the house was total chaos. A total of 6 adversaries stood, all fully busy trying to fight off Aspen, Shay, and Maeve.

3 were already dead on the floor.

Blood sprayed through the air accompanied by a scream that rose every hair on my body. I froze as my eyes found the source of both chilling things.

Shay had a huge butcher's knife in one hand and a dude pinned to the counter with the other. The dude was withering in the vampire's grasp, blood gushing out of the stub that is now his arm.

“Ana?!” Aspen’s suddenly beside me. “What the fuck are you doing here?!”

She’s dotted with blood, but her face was a stricken mask of concern and surprise.

“I hid in the trunk.” The words felt dumb coming out of my mouth.

Maeve and Shay didn’t stop at my entrance like Aspen did. They still fought, killed.

“Let’s go outside,” she says.

But we get cut off. Shays there, fighting with someone while looking unconcerned as ever.

I yelp, skittering into the kitchen.

Aspen follows me, only pausing in front of the fridge, Her head cocked as she considers something. "Do you need some water?"

I don't answer her. I literally cannot believe what I'm seeing.

Aspen shrugs, closing the fridge and moving to lean against the kitchen's sliding door. No one pays attention. No one moves to attack her. I follow, not wanting to get in the way of anyone here.

A sudden pop of sound whips my head around.

Maeve is on the defense, taking on a woman with a cruel looking whip. It cracked again and I heard Maeve swear when it tore flesh.

A few feet away a boy my age is screaming as he runs towards Shay with an ax. He swipes through thin air. The vampire gone in a matter of milliseconds.

My stomach churns as I see the boy's head fly across the room. It hits the wall and lands close to where the severed arm rests.

"Jesus Christ." I try to keep my stomach down as I stand with Aspen.

My body is stiff as a board. My arms wrapped around myself for some kind of comfort. I can’t look away.

My grasp on reality tilts, my mind disassociating from the horrors before me. The song makes it worse. I can almost trick myself into thinking it's all a scene from a movie.

The vampire doesn't stop for a second. No one is able to touch him. He backs up Maeve, throwing a shard of glass at the lady with the whip. It sliced through the side of her throat.

Her eyes flash as blood starts to pour. The whip drops to the floor when her hands go to the wound. They press against the sliced flesh in vain, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

I look away when Shay grabs her. His bared fangs were enough of a warning for what's to come.

Movement erupts to my right causing me to flinch back closer to Aspen. My eyes close for a heartbeat as fear consumes me. Another pathetic yelp tears away from my throat.

Aspen, however, was fearless. She materializes a knife, meeting our attacker head on.

Their fight is drawn away from me. I press against the glass door, helpless to watch my girlfriend fight a man 3x her size.

I flinch at the screech of metal against metal. Aspen takes a hard blow to the side of her jaw. Her retaliation was swift and bloodily. The man stumbled back, pausing to watch blood start to wet his clothes.

He thunders towards Aspen again, but she might as well have been death itself. Her movements were so sudden when she strikes.

My eyes barely follow as she slits the man's throat while dodging his tackle. The man halts, confusion and shock opening his eyes.

Bile rises in my throat as his life force splatters onto my shoes.

Aspen is back in my vision again, rising behind the dazed man. My eyes find hers and I shiver at what I see.

A darkness that's clear as day and cold as ice peers back at me.

She stabs the man through his temple. The man's final sound was like a gunshot through me. The hard thud of his body the echo. More blood splattered my legs and shoes.

Aspen bends down and retrieves her blade, wiping it clean on the cheap table cloth.

The nonchalance in her movements furthers my spiral out of reality.

Killers. All of them.

My head shook and my vision tunneled. I stare at the wall, forcing myself to keep breathing.

Aspen resumes standing beside me, leaning against the door.

Her skin's stained with blood this time though. I don't know where the knife is hid.

Her eyes flash in the back of my mind. They were something I haven't seen before. This Aspen was darker than anything I ever knew.

Silence.

I looked over into the living room. Aspen was standing before the stereo, cutting off that creepy ass song.

I blink, not recalling her moving from my side.

They all stood there, taking in their destruction. Slowly their gazes made it over to me.

I froze, unsure of what to say. Death hung around us. Blood, limbs, and bodies, all testaments of the viciousness of just two girls and a vampire.

The bile is back and this time I don't fight it. Stumbling over the body of Aspen's kill, I puke over the corner of the kitchen's island.

I realize why they didn't want me knowing now. This was something they understood mutually. The violence and the murder. They weren't strangers to it, but I was.

The sound of footsteps echo in the silence, disrupting my thoughts. A man stands, a gun in his hands and pointed level with my chest.

I freeze, fear jumping into my throat once again.

Aspen is the one to react. With a flick of her wrist, the man is bent sideways with pain. I see a flash of the anguish that crosses his face, hear his piercing scream before he hits the ground dead. The gun forgotten beside him.

I stare down at the body. He dropped dead in a moment just because Aspen flicked her fingers?

I stood surrounded by kills made by the people I called friends. It seemed so easy for them too. Effortless.

This was what Aspen was trying to protect me from. This was what Aspen was trying to hide.

Conflicting emotions make me gag again.

Killers. They just slaughtered everyone here.

I should have listened to them. I shouldn't have snuck out. They were right. I didn't want to see this side of them.

Aspen warned me. She told me, but I wouldn't listen.

“I can't rest knowing I don't know a side of you.”My words haunt me.

Who would want to see this side of them? Who would want to know the merciless destruction they could lay onto a person?

I was stupid.

I met Aspen's eyes. Her whole face was guarded as if she knew what I must be thinking right now.

I pick my way through the house and leave through the busted door. No one follows.

I'm disappointed and glad all at the same time. The fresh night air was exactly what I needed. It eased something in me that was threatening to break. I perched on the hood of the car, tilting my head back to lose myself in the night sky.

Shay was the first one to come out, Maeve a few steps behind him. Both joined me in silence.

Maeve opened the passenger side door but didn't get in. Neither spoke a word.

"Are we not leaving?" My voice sounds far away in my head.

"We've got to clean up." Maeve answers.

I don't get to ask what she means. Aspen stands on the porch. I watch as her hands raise. A flicker of light can be scene through the window.

Fire.

Aspen keeps her position at the front door, her hands raising steady higher. The flames consume everything inside, climbing higher and burning hotter every second Aspen pours her magic into it.

This is what they meant by clean up.

They're covering their tracks from the human police.

The stench of burning flesh reaches us. I resist the urge to hack, covering my nose and mouth with both my shirt and my hand.

Once the fire reaches the roof, Aspen makes a gesture and steps away, jumping down the steps and pacing towards us.

"If that doesn't burn the bodies then even hell itself can't." She opens the door to the backseat, "Let's go."

We all obey, eager to get away.

Shay spins us out of the yard and down the pig trail they call a drive.

It's quiet between us all. I'm pressed against the door, unable to shake the uncomfortable feeling in my gut.

I keep stealing glances at all of them.

Shay butchering that man flashes before turning into Aspen. The darkness reflected in Aspen's gaze matched Shays own twisted glee.

Maeve was still nursing the few wounds she got.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. Nothing too bad." She grits out, pressing McDonald's napkins to her arm.

"I could heal it for you," Shay offered.

"You know I'll pass."

He shrugs at the wheel.

Shay hits a rough pothole, jolting Maeve entirely. "You know Aspen. You really could have helped us out more," Maeve snaps.

Aspen's chuckle only lightly sounded humorous. "I figured I'd let you and your boyfriend bond."

"Whatever." She hisses, but I get the hunch that she's holding back a few things.

The ride back was silent. Shay sped down the highway. It was 3:40 am. Despite everything, the rocking of the car threatened to lull me to sleep.

I couldn't fight it. Hell I didn't even want to. Leaning against the window, I let my eyes close.

[hellishmess]

38: No Questions Answered

February 28,2019

[Ana]

    I laid curled up with Aspen in my bed. I should be enjoying it.

     After all, it's been a while since we've been able to hang out. She's been gone doing who knows what with Maeve.

     But instead I can't stop myself from wondering what they're doing—what they do. The sense that I'm only seeing one side of the coin has been eating me from the inside out.

     And Cyrus's words only tainted me further.

             "There's things about this world you're not yet ready to know. You're still young, and you must be protected from them."

     I didn't need protecting. I can protect myself. My Dad taught me how to shoot and my mom raised me with a good head on my shoulders.

     They think I'm no better than a child. I may be a young adult, and that's nothing compared to the vampires here, but Aspen, Maeve, and I are all around the same age!

    I was being kept in the dark and I hated it.

    I finally blinked, shifting my gaze from the wall to Aspen's bare skin. The tank top left much of her back and collarbones open. I could see the faint discoloration of healing bruises.

    "What's got you?" Aspen asked.

    I retreat from my thoughts, unaware that she'd turned from the tv and was now looking at me.

    "Are you hiding things from me?" The question whips away from me before I can think any better.

    Aspen's taken aback. Confusion marking her face. "No?" She answers. "Why?"

     "Because I know you are!" Frustration raises my voice. "You and everyone else here."

    Aspen props up on her elbow. "What are you talking about?"

    "Where have you been the last few days?" I question. "What have you been doing? You drop off the entire world with Maeve with no explanation."

     Aspen grows stiff. "I'm helping her out with work related stuff. It's just things you don't need to know about."

    I grow indignant. "What is that supposed to mean?"

    Aspen takes a breath. "I mean it's stuff you wouldn't wanna hear about."

    I smile, but I'm not happy. "Well I wanna hear about it."

    Aspen stays silent.

    "It's okay. You can tell me," I try to encourage her.

    She looks away from me. "Ana..."

    Stubbornness won't let me let it go. "Aspen, tell me. I can handle it."

     "I don't think you should know. If you want answers go to Jesse."

     I fling the covers away from us, moving to stand. "Why won't you tell me?!"

     "Because you're not ready."

     I can't believe she said that. I can’t believe everyone thinks that.

     "I'm tired of being treated like a child. You don't have to hide things from me.”

“This is a side of us that you are not prepared for,” She warns.

“I can't rest knowing I don't know a side of you.”

     "Ana, please just drop it."

    "Then, how can I prove that I'm ready?" I press further.

    "I don't know." She shrugs.

    I stand there, wallowing in the unfairness of it all. I want to keep pushing, but I can tell Aspen's not gonna budge.

    I grit my teeth. "Fine."

I’m going to find out for myself.

[hellishmess]

37: Venting

February 26,2019

[Ana]

I stroll through the big estate, passing stranger and stranger again, but not seeing a single face I recognize.

It's been what? Eight days now?

Aspen should have texted back. Someone should be here. It’s suspicious that all three of them: Aspen, Maeve, and Shay have been MIA for this long at the same time.

I wonder into the kitchen, stopping when I see a familiar face. "Cyrus!"

"Ana," he muses, pausing from pouring himself a drink. "Hello."

"It's been a bit. Where did you go?"

He pours himself a glass of gin. "Over to New York. Jesse sent me on business."

"Ah," I nod. "Cool. How have you been?"

"Fine, I found a replacement for one of my favorite records from the 20s. How about yourself?"

I take a moment, considering if I wanted to really share or just give the generic answer. "Truthfully," I start. "I could use a wise listening ear."

Cyrus caps the bottle of liquor. "Go on," he nudged.

Thankfully, I sat at the bar. "Okay so, uh, fair warning, it's kind of a vent about everyone here."

He's unfazed. "I can keep a secret if that's what you're worried about."

I stopped myself for a moment. Did I care if he told anyone? Did it matter?

Did I even want to spill my guts to him? I did. I can feel it swelling up in my chest. Frustration and confusion were only the tips of the icebergs.

"I'm getting the infuriating feeling that everyone's keeping something from me. Like I'm being treated like a child."

"Have you tried asking?"

"No," I scoff. "I just know that if I did they'd lie or refuse to tell me."

"How do you know for sure?"

"Because it's the exact same crap like when I was a child! No one would tell me what was going on and if they did they watered it down or lied entirely. I can't stop thinking that everyone's keeping me from seeing the full picture. Like they only want me to know one side of the coin."

"Ana, some people are not ready for the truth."

"But I am," I say, feeling it burn in my chest. "I'm not a child. I know about vampires and gifteds."

"There’s things about this world you are not yet ready to know. You're still young, and so you must be protected from them."

     "Cyrus, but I'm an adult. I'm no younger than Aspen or Maeve. I'm older than Eli!"

     "Age isn't what we're talking about here."

    "Then what?" I ask, astounded by how easy it is to talk to Cyrus and not feel so overwhelmed by frustration.

     "It's more about maturity. A mindset rather than an age."

     "What does that mean?" I ask.

    Cyrus straightens. "You'll have to think on it some more, but until then just understand that the people near to you are protecting you."

    He sets his glass in the dishwasher and the gin in the cabinet. "I've got to go, but I wish you a good day."

    "Same to you," I mutter, continuing to just sit there. I can’t believe he just confirmed that they were hiding things from me and just chalked it up to simply protecting me. That I was too childish to understand.

It was insulting.

[hellishmess]

36: Bait

February 26,2019

I scrolled though my phone, mindlessly skinning through meaningless memes. Really I itched to text Ana. I’ve been so caught up with this I’ve hardly had time for her. Valentine’s Day was a bust, I’ve had to cancel on two dates now.

I exhaled, setting my phone down on the table. It can’t be helped but irritation stayed wrapped around my spine. Still, it's best that she isn’t here.

I looked up to see the girl pale as a sheet and eying Shay like some wounded animal. Her knuckles wrapped around something.

Her knuckles wrapped around something. I was surprised to see it was a number 2 pencil. "Oh Jesus fucking Christ. What are you doing?"

"He's a vampire," she says. "He can kill me in an instant. He's told me himself."

Shay's grin is like gasoline on my fire of annoyance. My eyes roll. "And you think that can protect you?”

"Excuse me if I can't quite vibe with the fact that a vampire, who can literally kill me whenever he wants, is sitting right in front of me." She snaps, her body shivering at the thought.

"Okay. Let's get one thing straight. Literally any one of us can kill you if we wanted." I extend my hand to Shay, "So he's not special just because he can do it with his teeth."

"Aspen," Maeve hisses. "You're not helping."

I throw my hands up. "Whatever. I'm fucking tired of this. Why do we need some human bureaucrat's daughter anyways?"

"She's the daughter of Russian ambassador Herik Kostrov, Lewick's most hated man." Shay explains, sounding bored. "With daddy's little princess on “sale”, Lewick won't be able to deny the chance to have her. He'll come to us tonight."

“You’re not really going to let him take me are you?” She asked.

“No,” Maeve answers, “Of course not.”

“Good,” she snips, trying to hide her fear. “Because my daddy would kill you if you did.”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” I groan. “We better hope he comes before I lose patience and kill the brat myself.”

[hellishmess]

36: Love Storm

February 14,2019

[Ana]

"Hey, hey, hey." I worried, pressing harder on the wound on her throat. Blood seeps past the cloth, but the woman, Viv, groans. Her eyes fluttering open, only to shut back again. "You have to stay awake."

"This is one hell of a Valentine's Day, huh?" She hassles.

I laugh despite the fear and anxiety running laps in my mind. "Truly."

It got quiet between us. The only sound was the storm, raging with thunder and swift winds. The cold had started to creep, curling around my limbs first.

"You know, it's okay," She whispers. "You can leave me. Try and find someone still alive." Her body lost some of it's tension. Her head no longer sat up straight, but sought to bend and rest at her shoulder.

More blood started to flow between a gap at the gash on her throat and the clothe.

"No. No. No." I panic, grabbing her face and keeping her head up. "Doing that makes more blood flow. You have to stay up and awake. People are on their way. The tornado couldn't kill us so some cold and rain sure isn't going to do it."

"You sure are a spit fire," the woman replied. "But I don't think I'm going to make it."

"Viv," I stress. "Viv, you have people who love you and expect you to come home to them. You can't let them down."

"My husbands name is Gerald Leigh. His phone number is ***-***-****. Please. Please tell him I love him," She said, her voice fading out at the last few syllables.

"You're not dying here!"

The wind pulls at the little broken shelter, threatening to rip apart.

Viv's hand touched mine, blood stained and trembling. "It's okay." Her mouth parted in a mix between a small gasp and a grimace. Still, her voice was soft. "It's okay."

I watch as she takes a deep breath before letting go. 

"No!" I sob, continuing to press at the wound. I try to turn my head and see outside the broken brick walls. "Help!" I shriek. "Someone please!"

The wind howls louder, laughing and cheering at claiming another body.

Tears run down my face. My mind floods with emotion and too many thoughts to make sense.

I bend over the woman, keeping my eyes closed to dig some peace around me.

"Viv," I whisper to myself.

I scream, startled by the sudden touch on my shoulder.

The terror turns to relief, and I find myself weeping into Aspen's hands. "Oh thank god!"

Her arms wrap around me, providing strength and protection. She rubs my head, soothing my nerves.

"The woman," I cried. "I tried to save her. She got cut up by some glass. I tried to keep her alive. She—" 

"Shh," Aspen cooed. "It's okay. I know you tried your best."

Movement raised my eyes to the little entrance,  Cyrus stepped out of the weather and inside with us. His eyes met mine before sliding to Viv's. His nostrils flared at the open blood.

Aspen angled us sideways. Both Viv and Cyrus were in view.

I sensed their communication: a raised head on Aspen's part and a shake of Cyrus's on his.

Cyrus turned, startled at some revelation. "She's still alive," he said.

"What?!" I say.

"Her heart stuttered. It's still pumping." He said, getting closer to her. "She's still breathing too, but barely."

"Can you help her?"

"Yes," he says. I watch in shock as he bites into his wrist, dripping his blood into her mouth.

We all wait, watching and listening carefully.

My ears don't pick anything up with the storm still raging outside.

Regardless, the woman gasps, animated and alive as if she wasn't just at deaths edge.

"How?" She questions.

Cyrus grabs her, gaining her under his control with seamless ease. "You did not almost die. You sheltered the storm here with Ana. Any blood on you is from someone you tried to help, but unfortunately you were unsuccessful."

She blinked, but neither Cyrus nor Aspen gave her time to look around and think.

They had us up and running away from the destroyed building and towards the safety of a running car.

[hellishmess]

35: Vampire Movies in a Vampire’s House

January 17, 2019

"Is she even Italian" Maeve mocks, pitching her voice low.

    "Her name is Bella so she must be," I reply seriously.

    I laugh at the embarrassing scene. "Jesus Christ! This is such a bad movie. I don't know how it was so popular."

   "Oop! This dumbass!" Maeve yells, gesturing to the big screen. "Why would he tell them that! It was such a nice gesture."

    I laugh, watching the movie unfold. "Oh noooo," I groan. "Here comes the part!"

    Bella stares at the Cullens. Awkward tension from the scene, affecting even me. "That being I would become the meal." She assumes.

   "Ack!" I screech, turning away from the screen.

   Maeve is cackling at the Cullen's response.

   The movie continues. Maeve tsks, "I'd hate to have to go through high school so much."

   "No bed?" Bella asks.

    I slap my forehead. "This girl really horny to fuck a vampire huh?" I smirk, "Of course you can relate tho."

    Maeve slaps me at the shoulder. "Fuck offf!"

    Giggling at her red face, I leave it be.

     "This isn't real!" She mocks, "This kind of stuff just doesn't exist."

      "I am so glad the vampires you hang around aren't this insufferable."

      "Me too, sis," Maeve sighs. "Me too."

      Twilight continues, the scene with Bella heading back to school opening up. "I don't like it. I mean he looks at you like you're something to eat."

     "Fuck you asshole. No one cares about your opinion."

     I turn to Maeve. "I don't like Shay. He looks at you like you're something to eat!"

    She rolls her eyes and with a grin snorts, "Well I am the best snack!"

    I check my phone. Replying to a few snaps, as some uneventful parts pass.

    Maeve nudges me. "Aspen, here comes the baseball scene."

    "The best part of the movie." We say together. Catching each other's eyes, we share a quick laugh, only quieting down once the song starts.

    "Jasper is the hottest one." Maeve says, watching him play with the bat.

    I shrug. "Yeah. I can see it."

    I groan again, watching as they protect Bella from James and Victoria. "Oh god. The postering is sooo shitty. I literally hate it."

    "Are y'all really watching Twilight on our flat screen in the middle of a vampires nest," Shay asks.

   Maeve turns to him, "Oh you know it buddy."

[hellishmess]

34: New Year’s Pain

January 3,2019

I sat still, unable to move with the rope being this tight.

  I heard the Were before I saw him. He was massive, standing at least 6 feet tall with huge fangs and even longer claws. His growl shook the picture frames on the wall.

   He dropped down to four legs, stalking forward to stick his muzzle in my face.

    I resisted the urge to turn away from him, not wanting to bare my throat.

    A second werewolf stayed human. He was a nasty fucker with military haircut and a scar down his cheek.

"We tracked you from the scene of our murdered alpha." Scarface stood close, posturing over me with crossed arms the size of logs. "Why did you kill him?" He growled.

    I didn't answer, not having one in the slightest. The shifted werewolf stood back on two legs, stalking around us.

Scarface's punch landed hard across my nose. I felt the shift of bone and the swell of blood a second later. My eyes watered as tears started to form.

    A third man chuckled, speaking in a heavy Russian accent. "This will be easy. You've already made bitch to cry."

    I laugh, unhinged from the pain and the high my magic is giving me.

    All three weres growl. The two unphased lycanthropes bare teeth that are now closer to fangs than anything. 

    "I'm not crying because of you. I'm crying for my floors." I snip, grinning like a witless fool and showing my own blood stained teeth. "They're not pet proof."

    The shifted wolf reacts, whirling on me in anger. His claws cut long tracks through my flesh.

    I yell out that time, feeling my skin ignite as it's torn in two. Blood is quick to flow. I just know the wolf's claws went deep.

    The Russian stomps over to grab me by my hair. "Tell is why you killed our Alpha!"

     I wince, huffing and drawing in as much energy as I can. It enters my body, pooling in my lungs.

    I exhale, forcefully blowing out the energy. It sends the man to the wall. I crane my head, aiming for the other two before I find myself on empty.

     The werewolves were thrown to the floor. It gave me just enough time to teleport the fuck out of there.

    I hear the piercing howl and feel the sensation of a clawed hand passing through my body as I phase out.

    Maeve jumps up from her seat. Alarm flashes  across her face right before she yells my name. "Aspen?!"

    I huff in a shaky breath, spitting the pool of blood out of my mouth. "In flesh and blood."

    Blood is soaking through my shirt and traveling down my torso. My quick pulse only sends it out faster.

    "What happened?" She asks, blind to my joke while jumping to cut me free with her sharpened wisps of shadows.

    "Werewolves. I was drugged and fucking interrogated." Maeve cuts me free but I don't try to stand.

    The room tilts, giving me a strong sense of vertigo and nausea. I fight the urge to gag.

    Still, through the blood loss and the pain, I notice the finery in the room.

   Goddamn it. She would be at the True Master's estate.

     Shay pops in an eye blink later.

     "She's been attacked by werewolves." Maeve informs him immediately.

     "I can see that," he says. "Wow Aspen—"

     I cut him off, "If you tell me I smell delicious I'll fry you like a fucking chicken leg."

     His eyes narrow and I see the sharpness of a challenge in them. "I was gonna say you look like shit, but you do smell quiet delectable."

     I flip him off. I don't have the energy to follow through with my threat and he knew it. I draw my hands over my chest, trying to draw enough concentration to focus my magic to heal me.

     They flop down on the arm rests. My body's sweating from the exertion. I blink trying to clear my head from the haze that's fogging my mind.

     "What happened to frying me?" He taunts.

     I lay my head back, fighting a new wave of dizziness. "Suck a million, vampire," I retort.

      He laughs, but draws closer. "Do you want me to heal you?" He offers, all sharp taunting aside.

       I consider the offer, but before I can agree to the short cut Maeve enters with a heavy supply of first aid.

       I didn't even know she's left.

       Shay leans back against a table, watching as Maeve bends over to cut away my shirt. I grind my teeth together, breathing through the pain of my shirt unsticking from my body. My bra comes off a second later.

       Maeve tosses the scissors down. The look on her face says it all. Shay whistles, looking away for a moment.

       "You're going to need stitches," she says.

       I prepare myself and look down at my chest. A strangled sound falls from my lips. The skin was torn so that it sagged over and revealed muscle. Blood gushed out of the wounds like a fucking fountain.

       I feel the rush of tears as adrenaline comes to an end and pain pushes forwards with unadulterated fury.

      I look up at Shay. "Please fix me," I asked at a whisper.

     He nodded, coming to stand beside me. I watched as he took his wrist in hand and ripping into it with fang.

     I expected him to drop some into my mouth, but instead he brought it down to my lips. "Quick drink," he instructed.

    I glanced over to Maeve before following his lead. Latching onto to his wrist, I immediately felt a sensation overcome me. His blood was thick and bitter in taste, but it gave my body and mind a jolt.

    I was linked to the might several thousand lifetimes amounted to and drowning in it. I felt the strength that carried through his veins and the bloodlust they all have engraved in their souls.

    It was strong, and it was savage.

    I drank until his skin closed and just like that the sensation of gone.

    Shay withdrew. His eyes partly shut.

    I felt a sheer itching sensation all over my body. My nose shifted again as the blood set it back together. My eyes even followed my skin knitting back to perfection.

    "Holy fucking God," I gasped. I feel like I just suffered from whiplash.

    Maeve smiled, "Now how did you get so tangled up with werewolves? We’re barely into the new year.”

    I open my mouth. Topless and feeling stronger than ever, I was ready to recount my days events.

[hellishmess]

33: Late Night Spooks

December 27,2018

[Ana]

I couldn't sleep. With headphones in, I sat up in bed, completely glued to my computer. The conspiracy videos were too catching. Especially the supernatural ones.

Now that I was a part of the Otherworld, and I knew some of its secrets, I couldn't help but try and see if humans were close to the truth but dismissing it as myth.

The sheets rustle beside me when Aspen rolls over. I pop an earphone out just in time to hear her goan something.

I watch her slowly rise, basked in the laptop's light. She leans against me and mutters. "Why are you still up?"

"I'm looking at supernatural conspiracy theories! Looking for the possibility that humans could have gotten real Otherworlders on camera."

I turn my attention back to the screen, looking for anything that could be substansial. It's amazing that humans have stayed blind to them for so long.

Aspen's jaw opens into a huge yawn. Out of the corner of my eye, I split my attention between the video and her. She blinks, watching the screen as it pans to a dark human shaped blur that was supposedly a vampire.

"Hey—" I startle when Aspen shuts the laptop and scoops it up off my lap. She rolls over, and I hear the clatter as she lets it plop off the bed.

I squawk out a small sound of protest, a few words rise ready to back it up, but they dissolve when her arm wraps around me.

Aspen leads my body down to bed, gentle and steady. I find myself relaxing completely in her touch as she guides down beside her.

She keeps her arms open, laying on her back, and kisses my cheek when I snuggle into them. Her head's back against the pillow while I settle down beside her. A heartbeat later I'm following her into a dreamland, safe in her arms.

[Aspen]

Something pulls a thread, drawing me out of sleep. I blink, focusing on the bedside clock. It's well past 2am.

Light flickers throughout the room, sobering me up a tiny step further. I groan and roll over, facing the source of the disturbance.

Ana was sitting up in bed, with headphones in and her face a foot from the laptop screen. Her hair pulled into a birds nest on top of her head.

I sit up and lean against her, rubbing my head against her shoulder. "Why are you still up?"

"I'm looking at supernatural conspiracy theories! And cross checking the possibility that humans could have gotten real Otherworlders on camera with what I know."

I yawn, letting my head fall to stare down at the comforter. My eyes slid to Ana's video and I blink against how bright it is.

Without much thought, I reach and slap the computer shut, grabbing it before Ana can protest. My body rolls with the computer in hand. My hand hits the edge and I let go, hearing the clatter of the computer hitting the ground.

Ana protests, stirring the sheets, but I ignore her and wrap my arm around her torso.

It's so late. She should be getting some rest.

I guide her body down to the bed with a gentle pressure. Laying on my back, I wait as Ana settles in the nook of my arms.

Her body fit so well against mine.

I kiss her cheek when she presses against me. Sleeps rises, coming back to reclaim me. I fall into it with welcome arms.

[hellishmess]

32: Friends and Polaroids

December 25, 2018

Everyone was here: Ana, Maeve, Maeve’s now boyfriend: Shay, my cousin: Michael, the Second Lord for Fire and cool girl: Brianna, and Eli. The entire inner circle.

    "Guys guys!" Brianna said, excitedly waving around an chunky old Polaroid. "Let's take a group picture."

     I opened my mouth to object, but Ana grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Her excitement brilliant like a diamond in the sun.

     "Omg yes!" She squeals.

     I found a smile on my face, and suddenly I was grabbing our chairs and following her.

     Ana stopped in the foyer's big clear area, "Let's do it here."

     "Yessss," Brianna agreed. They both started to grab the various chairs throughout the house, arranging them in a cluster in front of the front door.

     "Alright guys come on!" Brianna yelled.

    They came in a dash. I claimed the stool behind Ana. She was in a big padded chair, sitting with one leg bent to her chin, her arms resting behind it. Leaning forward, I draped my arms around her shoulders. She giggled and looked up at me with a grin.

     Brianna set the sight for the camera and made sure that it could stand on the shelf by itself.

     Everyone made the scramble to find a seat. Once positioned, Brianna went and set the timer. "10 seconds everyone! The beep sounds at 5." She hollered, settling down herself.

    The cam beeped. We held our breaths.

   "Merry Christmas!" Michael yelled, causing a good many of us to laugh. The flash was bright as the camera captured our image.

    Brianna jumped up and grabbed the Polaroid, taking the film and shaking it. We crowded around her.

    Slowly everyone came into existence. Maeve was on the tiny little stool in the middle, sitting with her feet pressed to the floor and her legs spread. I could sense the pride coming from her and her toothy show of happiness.

     Shay took up the long bench behind her, sitting in a flamboyant spread. A smirk was on his face 

      Michael propped up on the stool in the front with his legs spread. His hands gripping the edge of the seat so he didn't slip off. He smiled a gentle smile.

      Eli was crisscross on the floor beside Michael, grinning.

      Brianna took the stool behind him, throwing a peace sign with a huge smile.

    "Ohhh!" Ana gasped, "It's so good!!"

    "Lmao! It's literally all of our personalities," Maeve said. "I wish we could all have a copy."

    "Here," I motioned to hand me the picture.

    Brianna let me have it, and I closed my hands on both sides of it, sandwiching it. A second later the photos duplicated. I passed them around.

     Ana's joy was almost tangible. She hugged me, coming up on her tip toes and giving me a quick kiss.

     A blush spread across my face and I bit at my lips in attempt to keep my smile down. I turned to Brianna. "I'm glad you suggested this."

[hellishmess]

31: Fucking Fairies

November 30, 2018

I don't understand.

Ana is turned away from me. A huge tsunami not far from us.

"We need to get away from here." Her voice was so far away.

She's gone.

"Ana!" I yell out.

The streets are trashed with debris.

"Ana!"

I turn. The wave's so much closer now, threatening to swallow the world..

I jump, over run by awful sensations throughout my body.

My skin stuck to the sheets, yet I was uncomfortably cold. Sweat soaked my hair and, as soft as the sheets were, my skin cried when I shifted.

"Shhh," Ana cooed. "It's okay. I'm right here."

I looked up to see Ana beside me. Her hand grasping mine.

I swallowed the cotton in my mouth. "Ana." It was a sigh of relief. The dream was too real, and my head was still spinning from it.

Her smile was gentle like the morning light. "I'm here. You're fighting some type of poison, but we have something that's countering it."

I hope she saw me nod.

My eyelids started to drop. "Thank you."

I didn't hear her reply..

Maeve was standing in front of a throne as dark as night. Her crown made of the deepest of blue stone and her gown made of an equally deep purple velvet.

She smiled.

Her hand held a sword and with it she slashed through space.

I startled awake again, this time coming face to face with a low light. Ana was sleep on a blow up mattress beside me. I laid back down, forcing myself to stay awake for as long as I could..

Amanda's house was as homely as always. Cookies on a pan in the kitchen, I stood at the sink washing my hands. Black space was the view.

"The sky's happy this day."

"Truly. May mother be merciful to us all."

I grabbed a cookie, munching on the crispness of it. "May she indeed."

My eyes opened to Maeve this time. She was in a chair, her eyes blank as she stared into space.

The slightest movement on my part caught her attention. She stood, suddenly animated. "Aspen!" She smiled.

"Hey," I croaked, my voice cracking.

"You've been out for nearly two days." She said, "We kept applying a healing spell to work the gunk out of your system."

   "Fucking fairies." Was all I managed to work out.

   Maeve smiles. "Fucking Fairies," she agreed.

***

When I woke up next, I felt more solid and less like some subliminal ghost.

Ana was curled up on a cushioned chair, typing away at her computer.

“Hey,” I croak.

She jumps, but her lips turn up to smile a second later. “Aspen!” She sighs, “How are you feeling?”

I test my body, slowly tensing the muscles in my back and legs. “Good.” I sit up.

She shuts her laptop. “You ready to get some real food into you?”

“God,” I’m finally able to crack a smile. “You know me so well.”

[hellishmess]

30: Exasperated Girlfriend

November 29, 2018

   My stomach drops when the front door opens. Ana's footsteps carry her closer. She drops her bag absentmindedly, staring wide eyed at the mess that is me. "Is that blood?"

I hide my hands behind my back. "Maybe?" I breath, entwining my fingers to keep the tremor down.

     Her eyes were bright with alarm. Ana dashes over time where I was sitting. "Are you hurt?!"

I smile almost embarrassed. My hands hover over the wound trying to hide the ugliness of it all. "Maybe."

"Aspen!" She exclaims.

She's an exasperated girlfriend.

Her hands moved mine, lifting them away from the poorly managed bandage. "What did this?"

I shucked a breath when she peeled the bandage away.

It was a unique wound from a knife that burned and cut at the same time. The skin was a monstrosity.

"Fairy steel," I hissed, recoiling when her fingers, charged with her magic, grazed it. "And a no magic healing wound."

She drew away. Those darling eyes taking me in.

God I wanted to kiss her.

I blinked. The fever really was getting to my head.

Ana read my mind, gingerly bringing her lips to my sweaty forehead.

The thought was out before I knew it. "I'm all dirty. The fae are not fun to tango with. I’ve got a knot the size of a goose egg somewhere on my head." My mind had to catch up with my mouth.

"Why the hell are you fighting fairies?!"

Aaah there it is again. Exasperated girlfriend.

"Am I a problem to love?"

I hate when I get caught up in feverish moods like this. Everything's hot and tilted. I try to blink through the haze, wanting to scrape away the vulnerability wiggling to the surface, hoping she didn't answer the damned question in the first place.

Ana hands were so soft. They caressed my cheek, causing my eyes to close. I was tense, my wound nearly forgotten.

     "Look at me." Her voice was soft too. My eyes obeyed. "You are not and will never be a problem. You are so many things Aspen, but you are not a problem."

I released the air I kept hostage.

"Now. Let's get you cleaned up." Ana raised me up, letting me lean against her as she led me to the bathroom.

The lights flipped on and I leaned against the counter. Ana got alcohol, bandages, and a few of the other healing remedies I keep.

"Close your eyes," she said.

I obeyed instantly.

My body jolted. "Fuck!" My eyes were wild when they popped open from the pain.

"Sorry," she whispered, grabbing my hand. Ana had coated the wound in a black power. It sizzled, seeping into my skin and slowly fading from black to grey. She wiped it off when it turned a pure white.

"It's fine," I grit out.

Two salves and hellacious amount of rubbing alcohol later, Ana had me wrapped up tight.

I doubled over, nausea, and vertigo threatening to tip me over.

Ana guides me over to sit on the toilet. "You're still burning up." She mutters, talking more to herself than me.

She hums, leaving me to go fetch something.

Dark spots started to pop up. Everything swayed and closed around me. I grabbed the edge of the counter, taking even breaths to ward it off.

My grip loosened.

My head hit the bath's edge, darkness taking over.

*

Ana was over me, her eyes very pink and watery. She looked frantic.

"Ana," My mouth was incredibly dry. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

She cried even harder, wiping her wrists with her tears. "You were so faint! I thought you were dead."

"Drink this!" She showed me a small bottle, uncapping it, and bringing the rim to my lips.

I could taste the magic in the bottle, it's effects spreading pretty quickly.

I felt the familiar pull of unconsciousness and look up to Ana, almost asking for permission to give in.

She smiled, a mix of sadness, relieve, and maybe love in there. "It's okay. You labeled this bottle “last resort [healing]” so it should counteract whatever's got you."

"Thank you," I mutter.

I was out in the next breath.

[hellishmess]

29: Cousin Michael

November 27, 2020

I got out of the car cold and angry. Michael walks up to greet me. "What's the buzz, cuz?" I ask.

He nods over to where a small group of three were standing. I recognized Teagan and Raul but not the other one. Teagan and Raul were Michael's crew, close friends to my dearest annoyance of a cousin.

The gravel crunched underfoot as we drew closer. They turned to me, parting to reveal the side of the barn. The Latin words “memento mori” were scratched into the wood in sharp letters.

"What does it say?" The stranger asks. His voice tight with worry.

I pull a face. "How am I supposed to know? Do I look Catholic to you?"

I can see the confusion come over him. "Is this not Latin?"

I hold up a finger, "Okay firstly that's a stereotype. Spells aren't done in Latin." I turn to Teagan and Michael. "And, secondly, why didn't you just google it?"

"Look at it, Aspen!" Teagan exclaims, "It screams ominous energy."

"We figured it was a curse and called you," Michael added.

"Is it a curse?" The stranger asked.

I rolled my eyes, shifting my weight to my left side. "No, there's no energy tied to this. If anything it's probably just some threat."

"That does not sooth me," the stranger said.

I shrug. "I can put a ward over the property if that'll give you some peace."

"Please!"

His clear desperation earns a polite smile. "Sure." I turn to Michael. "Walk the property with me."

He nods and leads me over to the fence row. "Thank you for coming. This is Teagan's grandfather’s property. It's been in the family for generations so it's incredibly important to them."

I sighed. Michael was the only connection to family I had now. I'd help the dude out even if it was incredibly inconvenient. "Yeah," I scoff. "Don't mention it."

"I'll take you to dinner after if you want? We can go to Outback. I know you like their steaks."

My spirits perk up at that. "Alright. Bet. Since you’re offering."

"Okay," Michael laughs. "It'll be good. I've been in Embley* so long, I don't know what's going on with you."

"It'll be good to catch up," I agreed. “A lots happened here, and I know there must be interesting talk in Embley.”

“Always,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

———————————————————————

Embley is The Gifted country of the Otherworld. It’s a completely hidden continent in Pacific Ocean. Embley is also the Gifted Capital City in Embley (the country)

[hellishmess]

28: A Little Sunshine and a Little Present

November 22, 2018

My mouth skimmed the skin across Ana's throat. Kissing and nibbling there, my body drew out all the cute, little noises she makes. I skin my fingertips across her soft skin, caressing her arms and her thighs. My other arm was wrapped around her waist, keeping her pressed tight to me.

She pulled away, bringing our lips together and deepening the kiss.

Vaguely, I was aware of our surroundings. The silk sheet was smooth against my skin, but it was nothing compared to Ana. The garden was pretty, but it was nothing compared to Ana.

Her hands tangled themselves in the hair at the nape of my neck, tugging and caressing all at once. I let out a small gasp when her lips trail down my jaw to my ear, taking a moment to bite down there.

"Do you like this?" She hums in my ear.

I don't answer her, too focused on what her mouth was doing.

"Well?" She asks again, a little more demanding this time. Ana grabs my hair, forcing me to look her in the face.

"Yes," I breath. My body was a sinful combination of tension and relaxation.

Ana chuckles, "Ah I knew it." She withdrew, ending our little make-out session.

I huff but let her drift away from me.

She lays back, staying propped up on her palms, and basks in the afternoon light.

I stop staring at the silhouette of her body. “What do you know?" I ask.

"That you're a bottom," She grins.

I startle. "What?!" I laugh at her. "I'm not!"

Ana laughs back at me. "It's okay. You are."

"That's not true," I press. "I don't get fucked. I fuck."

Ana's face wasn't impressed. "Oh sure. I bet."

I couldn't believe it. She didn't believe me.

"I'm telling the truth!"

She laughs again, clearly enjoying this. Her hands grip the sheet, wrinkling it even more. "Well, however you were with other girls, you were completely ready to be a cute, little bottom for me." Her wink was teasing.

I open my mouth to argue further, but the breeze came and the sun shone around her. It was so beautiful, it killed any words of defense I had.

I was beyond myself. Maybe this girl was right.

"I have a gift for you," I said, changing the subject.

Thankfully, Ana allowed me this reprieve.

"Oh?" She cocked her head.

"Yep," I said, digging it out of my pocket. I brought the gold pendant out into the light. It was about the size of a nickel and had a symbol stamped into the metal.

I handed it to her, loving the easy wide-eyed smile she gave me when she looked at it.

"It's beautiful," she gasped.

"It's magic," I add. "I figured I'd whip something up so you can actually use some."

Ana's jaw drops. "What?"

"Yeah," I nod. "If you put it on you'll be able to draw from the energy I have connected to it and use it how you want."

"You're serious? I can use magic like you?"

I laugh at how dumbfounded she is. "Yep. Swear to god. Put it on and see for yourself."

Ana's quick to clasp the pendants around her neck. "How?" She asks. Her eyes bright. Excitement radiates from her.

"Relax first," I chuckle. Once I notice her body settle, I continue. "Now focus on the little pulse of energy around that pendant."

"Holy crap," Ana gasps. "I can feel it." Her voice drops to a whisper. "It's like a little heartbeat."

"It's energy. Pure and alive."

"What now?" She asks.

"Now give it a direction. Focus on trying to pull the energy from the metal and giving it a task or direction."

Ana's eyebrows furrow together. Slowly but surely I sense the magic peek out of the metal and into the outer world. It was hesitant and gentle as it hovered, invisible in front of us.

"Now give it a task. Move the water bottle over here."

Ana's hand reaches out. Her mind and her body work to control the magic.

She's successful in picking the bottle up. It shakes in the air as magic brings it a foot closer. Ana drops it with a shaky breath. "Holy shit," she pants. "That was kinda hard not gonna lie."

"You'll get better at it. Besides the magic is intuitive after a while. It's alive and I've made sure that it's easy to wield. Just relax and picture what you want."

"Is using magic typically difficult or easy?" 

"Umm," I think. "Typically it's a bit difficult to do serious magic. The energy needs to be controlled and it takes a lot of inner will and discipline. But what's in your necklace is inscribed with a rune to make it more easy to use. It shouldn't be very hard to use after a slight adjustment period to you and your mind."

"Gotcha. How do I go about it again?"

"Just focus on the pulsing of the energy and then call it forward. Once it's out the the metal you can direct it. Use your mind to give it a command by whatever way is most powerful to you. If words are your vice and they convey your intent clearer use them. You can also imagine what you want to be performed and it'll work that way."

Ana nods, closing her eyes. "Okay okay." She straightens her spine and raises her hands. I watch, wondering what she's trying to do.

A grin cracks upon my face when I feel her magic buzz around me. It lifts strands of my hair like static electricity.

"Yes!" She celebrates when she sees it worked for her.

I wipe my hands around my head, collecting the energy and settling my hair down. "See you're already catching the hang of it."

Ana's quick to jump up. "This is the absolute best gift anyone's ever given me." She tackles me, bringing us both to the ground in a heap, and squeezing tight. "Thank youuuu!" She hugs me.

"Of course." I laugh, "Consider it a Thanksgiving gift."

She grabs my head and kisses me again.

There’s a pause. Then Ana pulls away and cocks her head to the side. “Hey Aspen?”

“Hmm?”

“How’re you keeping the temperature so warm? I mean it’s Thanksgiving. I’m out here in shorts.”

I shrug with a cheeky grin on my face. “Just magic, love. I’ll do anything to see you in some booty shorts.”

Ana squeals at my answer, play slapping my arm. “Okay! Not the answer I thought I was gonna get!”

I wrap my arms around her. “Now, do you want me to give you a crash course on magic and how to master the usual things?”

Ana gasps, whirling around in my arms to look at me. “Yes please!”

[hellishmess]

27: Comformation

November 2, 2018

I teleport back to Shay’s room, interrupting him reading something. He was less surprised to see me this time.

"Aspen," He greets me. "I didn't want to see you back so soon."

I smile at him, flashing teeth in a borderline unfriendly grin. "Cute. Is Ana somehow an amplifier?" 

The shock on his face was almost gratifying enough.

"Her mother was a changeling wasn't she?" I continued, feeling everything click into place. "One of the human kids snatched by the Fae. Is that why you're hiding her? Because the Fae want her back?"

Shay was completely serious with me now. "Oh you've done it now, Farley."

"So I'm right? How though? There's never been a live amplifier. Did the Fae create her?”

"Yes."

A new voice confirmed my suspicions. It spoke with such power and authority, I froze completely.

Jesse was standing between Shay and Nik both.  I don't know when he got here. Only that he was and I was potentially in danger.

I shifted some weight and centered myself. Caution and apprehension creep up my spine.

"So what's the full story? Ana's mom was a human changeling. She got kidnapped and sent to the fairy court where she grew up and got pregnant?" I guessed.

"The Fae took Margret, Ana's mother, with the sole objective to make a successful living amplifier. They've failed 66 times before Ana."

"Failed?" I ask.

"The children were too wild. Too dysfunctional. Born dead." The True Master clarified.

"So the Fae was experimenting with children?"

"Until Margret was successful," Jesse nods.

"Why?" I ask. "What's to gain? It sounds incredibly hard to achieve, and even then, the Sun won't stand for human/child experiments."

"My guess is a universal amplifier," The True Master says. "A being who can be used by anyone in the Otherworld."

"Holy shit. So I'm right. Ana's an amplifier. That's what I felt when I'd touch her, and her being ‘universal’ is why Samuel was able to bounce back from the near dead after only some of her blood. She can make any otherworlder stronger."

The vampire nods.

This was amazing and alarming all at once. A universal amplifier. That's dangerous. People will want to eat that shit up. "Are the Fae making more?"

Jesse shakes his head. "I've successfully killed the ones who directly had a hand in creating Ana. Then I had the experiment wiped from their ledgers and their minds."

Shay winks at me with a wide toothed grin.

I'm completely stunned. "Holy shit."

"You understand the gravity of this situation?" Jesse asked. "If the world was to know what Ana is, it'd create grave consequences in our society's balance of power."

I nod. "Of course, but you should tell her. She's been trying to wield magic because she thinks her mother was a witch. She hates that she’s unsuccessful. Like she’s failing you and her mom."

Jesse shakes his head again. This time with a frown. "It is best that Ana does not know her true identity."

"What? Why?"

"Because it'd be easy to pull the information from her," Nik answers. "And this is information that cannot get out."

"At any cost," Shay adds.

I understand the threat. "Relax. I won't say a word but I still think Ana deserves to know. I can create a shield in her mind. It’d make it impossible for anyone to know."

"No," Jesse dismisses the idea.

I wince away from the True Master and the flash of his will that came with the word. His order was final, even for me.

"Fine," I relent, unable to find it in me to stand against him.

“Good,” He nods. “Then we’re at an understanding.”

“I suppose so.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. I hated to have to keep something so important from Ana.

But I agreed with them and understood what needed to be done. Her safety was a priority we all have. There was nothing more to it.

[hellishmess]

26: Eureka?

November 1, 2018

The dead of night was the best time for thinking. The silence and the darkness made way for an unchallenged focus.

My kitchen was full of papers: family trees, text books, scrolls, anything that I thought could even remotely be useful.

I sat and regrouped after exploring all the Otherworld minorities. Ana's lack of anything made it both easy and hard. Her lack of bloodlust and physical animalistic qualities cut about half of the minority races. However, it really made it hard because, goddamn, what could she be?

Was I going crazy? Imaging things are magical when they're just emotional?

No, I scold myself. I'm better than that. Plus, Shay's inability to tell me what she is both validates that she is something and that that something is so rare the True Master himself doesn't want anyone to know.

I write down all of any weird/unconventional experiences with Ana:

   • sometimes when I touch her energy will zip through my body, making my magic even more powerful.

   • Eli mentioned how Samuel was practically dead to the world, but after only three mouthfuls of Ana's blood he was back to normal strength.

    • she's unable to do any magic. She can't even really sense it.

This didn't add up. It didn't make sense.

I grabbed a book at random,slamming it open in a bid to release some frustration.

I should be able to know what she is immediately. My magic should be able to recognize her energy, but as far as I know she doesn't have any.

The leather bound book was dated with old scriptures on magic and energy. It illustrates a heavy chapter on the gifted that I completely skip.

Ana wasn't gifted or she'd have a blood tag. Now, there was the ungifted. Unlucky souls to be born into a gifted family and a blood tag but no connection to any magic.

Still, didn't mean anything.

My eyes rested on the next chapter: Amplifiers.

The knowledge on amplifiers was common, but I skimmed though it anyways.

"Starting with the Fae, the use and production of amplifiers was slowly shared throughout the Otherworld. Amplifiers are worn ornaments that can boost one's magical energy. They are not easy to come by, as the Fae are the only ones to date to be able to create them. There are only twenty gifted owned amplifiers."

I rolled my eyes at that information. This is why sometimes I hated stealing Caswell* books. They were all so Gifted-centric. It was annoying.

"While the process of production is unknown to us, amplifiers are always organic. They can be formed of stones, metals, bones, even skin in the form of leather. It is impossible to sense them. However, it is important to try and notice if someone is wearing one. This is due to the overwhelming advantage amplifiers can give their host. Amplifiers are known to also be able to replenish their host's energy. Therefore, by wearing an amplifier, the host will not tire as quick or even at all after using a strenuous amount of their energy.

It has been noted that using an amplifier is like being connected to electricity mixing with their own energy. The amplifiers liven the hosts and keeps their vitality strong."

Holy shit, I think. The beginning of a theory spins around in my head.

The feeling of boosted strength.

The sensation of electricity when it's being used.

Living hosts and their vitality.

Oh my god. Was this the answer?

I gape at the book before me.

There's no way. It was a complete stretch. I don’t even think vampires can use amplifiers. Besides, an amplifier is a piece of metal, wood, stone. It's not alive. My eyes flick back to that sentence, settling on the word "bone".

Oh god. My mind whirls.

Could Ana be an actual living amplifier?

———————————————————————

Caswell is the name of a very rich and powerful Gifted family. They help run the Otherworld along side the Royal family, the Verlac, and the Dynsin. The Caswell family is responsible for knowledge on all magic and keeping the Otherworld secret from the human one.

[hellishmess]

25: Questions, but no answers

October 30, 2018

“What is she?” I spoke out of the shadows.

Shay turns to me, alarmed by my sudden presence. “Jesus Christ. What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I came to ask about Ana. What is she?”

“She’s kin to a family Jesse has taken under his wing.” He answered.

“Okay. That may be true but why is she here. The only live people at a vampire nest is bleeders and cleaners. So why’s she so special to be here so close to you?”

“Remind me: are we friends? Because I think our only tie is Maeve.”

I sit down on his fancy leather sofa. “And Ana now, technically.”

“Right,” Shay sighs.

“So what is she? When I touch her sometimes my energy will reverberate throughout my body. It’s something I’ve never experienced before. She’s not a half witch. She’s not fae or gifted. She’s human as far as I can tell except for this one small thing.”

“Aspen.” Shay said, pouring himself a drink. “I can’t tell you even if I wanted.”

He poured an entire scotch glass to the brim of bourbon. I gesture to the glass. “You thirsty there?”

He shot me a look. “Maeve’s had me busy with Void. I haven’t had much time to feed, and you here aren’t exactly helping the hunger.”

“Right,” I think for a moment. “Blood tags and all. I’m pretty powerful so the magic in my blood must smell tasty.”

His eyes went to slits. “I will not feed from you in exchange for the information you want.”

“What?!” I laugh at him and his assumption. “No, I was just going to try and confirm that Ana doesn’t have a blood tag.”

“Oh,” he says before downing his entire glass. “Then no.”

“So then what is she?!” I exclaim, frustrated at the lack of understanding. “I’m really good about sensing different magicks, Shay. There’s not a fucking energy signature that I can’t read and that I don’t know. She’s not a shapeshifter, not a were-anything, not fae, not gifted. Fuck, she’s not even a witch!”

“I cannot tell you.” He reiterated. I watched as he hesitated making himself another glass. I thought he was done for the night, but instead, he just picked up the entire bottle.

I throw my hands up. “Can’t or won’t?”

“Won’t,” he says.

The energy around us pops, signaling a lie.

“Don’t lie to me,” I say. “What’s Jesse got you so shut up about?”

Shay ignores the question. “Aspen, I enjoy your company as much as anyone enjoys a kick to the balls.” He fixes me with a hard gaze that rose the hair at the back of my neck. “Don’t forget that you are in my home as a uninvited guest.”

I keep my body still. “Fine,” I say softly. “I’ll figure it out for myself.”

He tries to wave me off. “Be my guest. Just leave so I can feed in peace.”

Coming to a stand, I roll my eyes. “Whatever. Enjoy your dinner, fangboy”

“I will.”

I wrap the energy around me as I walk away from him, teleporting from his room to mine in the blink of an eye.